


I Don't Know Where I Belong, I Don't Know Where I Went Wrong

by confidentialityspice



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:36:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 83,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confidentialityspice/pseuds/confidentialityspice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've Been Trying to Do It Right

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the people who cheered me on through this. You know who you are. 
> 
> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers, which happens to be my husband's favorite song. He absolutely hates this new Brian twist.

The first time he sees her, she’s standing at the copier, collating a contract for one of the salesmen. He sees what everyone must see: a pretty, but ultimately unhappy, young woman. 

She’s there throughout the day, mostly dealing with Michael, the ridiculous manager of the Dunder Mifflin Paper branch that they’re shadowing for today, but she doesn’t leave much of an impression.

She’s the second-to-last person to sit down for her one-on-one interview with the camera at the end of the day. “Just pretend we aren’t here,” Joe, the primary cameraman and director of this documentary, instructs her. She does about as well as the rest of the staff: avoids the camera with determination, opting to address Brian directly. 

They all address Brian instead of the camera. He figures there’s something about his face, or maybe Joe is just that intimidating.

“Roy is my fiance,” she says cheerfully when prompted by Brian. “We’ve been engaged about, um, about three years.” There’s a certain frostiness as she explains about her postponed wedding and long engagement.

“How do you feel about downsizing?” Brian reads from the list of questions they’d prepared that morning. 

“I don’t think it would be the worst thing, if they let me go,” she answers thoughtfully, as if the camera isn’t even there. “Because then, I would... It’s just, I don’t think it’s many little girl’s dreams to be a receptionist. I like to do illustrations, mostly watercolor, a few oil pencil...” Her face brightens. “Jim thinks they’re good!”

When they’re reviewing footage at the end of the day, it’s Carmen, the secondary camera operator, who pauses on a shot of Jim at reception and says, “There’s something between those two.”

“Oh well,” Brian says shortly, ready to put this whole depressing paper company experience behind him. “We’ll never know, will we?”

\---

Three days later, they get a phone call from the studio head, expressing an interest in shadowing the paper company for a full month. They even add an additional film crew and provide enough mic packs for everyone in the office.

“Maybe they want to laugh at that Michael guy,” Joe grumbles as they pull into the Dunder Mifflin parking lot before sunrise on a Tuesday morning. “It certainly can’t be an interest in paper.”

It doesn’t matter. Money is money.

None of them are prepared for Diversity Day. How could they be? If the suits were looking for a train wreck, they found one in Michael Scott.

They don’t comment on Pam falling asleep on Jim’s shoulder, but it makes its way into the final cut to send to their studio bosses. 

They get notes back the next afternoon: more focus on Jim pranking Dwight, Michael’s antics, and Jim and Pam’s interactions. Joe rolls his eyes, muttering that he can’t stand Michael and Jim.

Brian doesn’t have any strong opinions on any of the staff members.

\---

The healthcare fiasco is something that could only happen under Michael Scott’s tutelage, aided and abetted by Dwight. It ends disastrously. The studio loves it.

\---

Things take a turn during their third week, when Jim pulls his biggest prank to date: a Survivor-style alliance with Dwight, caused by Dwight’s deep-seated fear of downsizing. Pam is a willing accomplice, having loud conversations with Jim about allegiances and loyalty. 

They corner Pam after her party-planning committee meeting. “Do those meetings always go like that?” Brian asks Pam, who shakes her head. 

“This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said that she doesn’t like to gamble. Of course, by saying that, Angela was gambling that I wouldn’t smack her.”

Brian chuckles, surprising even himself, and Pam gives him a glowing smile before asking, “Did you have any other questions?” 

Right after that meeting, she helps Jim prank Dwight by pretending to have inside information. Jim is all grins for his talking head interview afterwards: “She is just...” 

It bothers Brian that Jim can’t finish that sentence. 

Dwight ends up taped in a box down in the warehouse. Brian’s getting used to these antics by now, but he still grins at Pam standing beside the box, pretending to conspire with cohorts. 

So it shouldn’t surprise them to see Roy freak out when Jim gets too comfortable with Pam. Jim tries to sputter apologies and explanations, but it comes out convoluted. 

Grabbing his bag at the end of the day, Jim looks at Brian. “Couldn’t you have shown him the footage?” he mutters in a low voice. 

“Sorry, man,” Brian says, and he means it. “We aren’t supposed to get involved.”

Jim looks irritated, but Brian suspects he’s really only angry with himself. He sounds tired as he shoulders his bag and asks, “What are you guys even interested in here? We sell paper.”

Brian lowers the boom mic. “We’re not sure.” 

Jim does his patented smirk-shrug. He gets it. 

He’s not sure what’s keeping him here, either.

\---

The next Thursday, Pam places an irritable call about her toaster oven. She snaps and grumbles about the warranty, then grudgingly concedes the point that it’s three years old. 

“What was up with Pam earlier?” Brian asks Jim after their talking head interview. It’s unscripted, a lot of their questions have been off the cuff lately, but Joe still has the camera pointed at Jim. 

“Pam gets a little down,” Jim answers diplomatically, his head bobbing with earnesty. “Her toaster oven broke, which she got at her engagement shower... for a wedding that still has yet to be set. And that was three years ago.” Another half-shrug accompanies the end of this explanation, and Jim widens his eyes at Brian, as if to say he cannot comprehend Roy’s motives. 

It’s dangerous thinking, to believe you can love a girl better than the man she’s dating. 

\---

On their last day of filming, a pretty redhead comes into the office and sets up shop in the conference room, selling handbags. It goes about as well as anything else in this office has gone. Michael and Dwight both take runs at her, but it’s Jim who wins her over at the end of the day.

Pam puts on a brave face for most of the day, even going as far as saying that she likes having Katie there. The facade begins to crack at lunch, when Roy tells Jim, “I’d be all over that if I wasn’t dating Pam.” Brian can’t blame her for storming off. 

And he feels worse for Pam when Jim gives Katie a ride home; the look on her face as she sits in Roy’s pickup can only be described as “stricken.” She has no idea how close she was, that she could’ve had him if she’d only asked. 

\---

Brian’s a bit nostalgic as they review their footage from their last day. It’s a sunny Saturday and one of the suits, Jeremy, is sitting in the edit bay with them. Jeremy pauses the tape on a shot of Pam staring at Jim. 

“I’ll be honest, guys,” he says, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back. “This might turn into a long-term thing.”

“Because of them?” Joe asks incredulously, gesturing at the frozen picture. 

“They’re very intriguing.” 

“They’re gutless,” Joe snaps. “I guarantee we will be sitting in that stuffy office for months, maybe years, before one of them makes a move, if it ever happens.” 

Joe and Brian have worked together on documentaries for three years, and they have a good professional relationship. Where Joe is usually grumpy and assertive, Brian is quiet and even-keeled. 

“We want to be there if it does,” Jeremy replies blithely, his face alight with the possibilities. “Besides, they’re not the only draw. The dailies you send us, they’re highly entertaining. There’s no other office staff in the world like this one.” 

Joe stares at the screen, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“We need to know if you guys are onboard, just in case. They might contract you for another month, maybe six. Possibly even a year. And you will get bonuses.”

“I’m not available until August,” Joe says in a measured voice. “I have a project in North Carolina over the summer.”

“Just as well,” Jeremy replies, standing up. “Expect a phone call in the next week.”

\---

The call comes two days later.


	2. I Don't Think You're Right For Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers, which happens to be my husband's favorite song. He absolutely hates this new Brian twist.

The second week of August finds Brian strolling into Dunder Mifflin Scranton just after sunrise, and there are a few changes around the office. The biggest change is Michael’s appearance--he’s slimmed down, tanner, with a better wardrobe, and he's buzzing about the Dundies. 

According to Oscar, the Dundies are usually held in May, but when Michael had heard the film crew was returning in late summer, he’d decided to postpone his personal awards show until the cameras could be there to capture it all. “The Dundies are like a children’s party,” Oscar says tactfully, explaining how the staff participates to appease Michael. 

Pam is less diplomatic: “The Dundies are like a car wreck, that you want to look away, but you have to stare at it, because your boss is making you.” Pam is remarkably unchanged from three months ago.

Her dissatisfaction becomes clearer when the crew sits in the conference room with her as she reviews footage from past Dundies. “And the winner for longest engagement goes to Pam Beesly!” Michael announces on the tape, and Pam looks away from the camera, ashamed, as Roy accepts the award and jokes, “We’ll see you next year.” 

It’s the secondary crew that catches Jim appealing to Michael to change Pam’s award for this year. 

Before they leave for Chilis, Joe pulls Carmen and Brian aside. “You two stick with Jim and Pam all night,” he says in an undertone; Joe still hasn't warmed up to Jim, but at least he seems to be tolerating Michael. “I’ll be on Dwight and Michael, and the B crew will cover the rest of the staff.” 

Carmen nods at Brian as he packs away his sound equipment. “Should be easy enough.” 

And indeed, it seems like a non-starter when Roy pulls Pam away to leave during the opening monologue. On a hunch, they follow Pam into the parking lot, where they find her fighting with Roy. “If you had asked me, then you would know!” she shouts, wrenching her arm from Roy’s grasp. She seems to have forgotten she was mic’d. 

“Not so gutless anymore,” Brian mutters, and Carmen nods in agreement.

They settle in to focus on Pam as she sits at Jim’s table and steals his beer. 

When Pam wins the Whitest Sneakers Award, Brian grins along with everyone else. Pam’s grinning from ear to ear as she accepts, only sobering up to add, “I wanna thank God, because God gave me this Dundie, and I feel God in this Chilis tonight.” 

And when she hugs Jim, everyone’s still smiling, but it’s only the camera crews who see Pam plant a kiss, see Jim react in pure delight and surprise, and watch as he looks a little thunderstruck. Carmen’s pressing her face so hard to the eyepiece, following each movement, that Brian thinks she might put her eye out. 

Joe’s busy filming Michael’s cover of “I’ve Had the Time of my Life” when Pam falls off her barstool. “Did you get that?” Jim asks Carmen. “Please tell me you got that!” 

It gets everyone kicked out of Chilis, even the film crew. In the parking lot, Pam runs up to Joe screaming, “This was the best Dundies ever!” and Joe cracks a smile for the first time as Jim pulls Pam back. 

“Maybe I was wrong,” Joe mutters to Brian as Jim leads Pam over to a park bench to wait for Angela. “She might tell him one day.”

Carmen sneaks over to the edge of the parking lot to film Jim and Pam on the bench, but they have to pick up the audio from their microphones in post-production. She almost tells him. “She was so close,” Carmen laments as they watch Pam back away from Jim on the monitor. 

“Not close enough,” Joe says sagely, adding the clip to their studio package.

Brian’s actively ignoring his personal investment in Jim and Pam’s relationship now.

\---

“She really wants to meet everybody.”

“Good, because I have a lot of questions.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. As a child, did Pam show any traits that would hint toward her future career as a receptionist?” Jim smiles, and Pam laughs at him indulgently.

She settles in front of the camera in the conference room for her talking head interview. She’s noticeably more comfortable now, possibly because they are no longer strangers, or maybe because she’d drunkenly screamed into the camera last week. 

“Talk to us about your mom,” Brian begins.

“I love my mom!” she answers brightly. “Okay, that’s probably the most obvious statement ever.” She talks about how she’s very close with her mom, how she doesn’t have a cell phone, and how excited she is for her mother to meet everyone.

After her interview, Joe points to Jim and Pam and tells Brian and Carmen, “Stick to them today.” 

When Pam’s mom visits, Carmen is sitting beside Jim with the camera practically in his face, but Brian is standing by Pam and her mother with the boom mic over their heads. “So which one is Jim?” her mother whispers, plenty loud enough for Jim himself to hear it. 

“Mom!” Pam blusters, glancing over at Jim. 

Her mom goes downstairs to wait with Roy, and Pam gives Brian a silent but long-suffering look. 

They all chuckle at Jim’s small smile when they see it in the edit bay. “The suits are gonna eat this up,” Joe says, his hands resting on his beer gut. 

\---

Their footage of the Office Olympics gets the most glowing review of any of their previous packages. Their contract is extended to six months, keeping them there through the end of February.

None of them are upset by the news. 

\---

They find out Jim is still dating Katie on the day Ryan the temp sets off the fire alarm with a cheese pita. Pam puts through a call from her and barely masks her distaste as Jim chats with his girlfriend. 

The crew has abandoned scripted questions, choosing to ask questions based on the day’s events. Brian asks Pam if she knew Jim was still together with Katie, and she evades the question. “I feel like I’m talking really loud. Am I talking really loud?”

Jim plays it cool when Katie says she’d like to bring Legally Blonde to a deserted island, even though Pam laughs rather cruelly. 

“I forgot what a super nice girl Katie is,” Pam says, addressing Brian. “Good for Jim, they are so cute together. And what an adorable car!” 

Brian watches her skip away lightheartedly, feeling himself grinning.

“Careful, dude,” Carmen says, lowering her camera to give him a warning expression.

\---

Jim unwittingly shows his hand to the film crew on Halloween.

Things are pretty much insane at Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Michael is agonizing over firing someone, Dwight is agonizing over possibly getting fired, and Angela is agonizing over planning a Halloween party. 

In the midst of all this chaos, Jim and Pam wreak more havoc, pranking Dwight by posting his resume to job search engines. By mid-morning, Cumberland Mills in Virginia is showing an interest in Dwight’s resume. Jim to pretends to be Michael over the phone, giving Dwight a glowing review.

“Jim is really talented,” Pam says to Brian, unprompted this time. “He should be the one who’s getting a better job offer, like, for real.” 

“Have you told him that?” Brian asks. 

Pam looks a little surprised. “No.” Another pause. “Should I?”

Carmen and Brian only shrug. 

Just after lunch, Dwight curses out Cumberland Mills over the phone for not accepting his martial arts training as a viable part of his resume. As he hangs up, Jim leans over the reception desk, chuckling. 

“Um, don’t take this the wrong way,” Pam says softly, “But you should go for the job.”

Jim leans back, surprised. “Uh... it’s in Maryland.”

“Yeah, but it’s a better salary... definitely a step up, and a challenge...” Pam trails off.

He stands up, straightening away from the desk, putting distance between himself and Pam for the first time since they started filming. “Yeah. Yeah. Maybe... maybe I will,” he says, his mouth twisted in a frown as he glances down at Pam. 

“Jim...” she says, but it’s too late, he’s walking away.

He’s distant with her for the rest of the day, until she corners him with an apology as everyone’s filing out after a newly-fired Devon. 

“I’m sorry for pushing you toward Cumberland,” she starts, and Jim does that twisted frown again from earlier. “Seriously,” she adds, “If you left here, I would blow my brains out.” 

He chuckles at her and walks her out, but he still looks sad. 

The next morning, Brian asks, “What did you think of Pam saying she’d blow her brains out if you left?” 

“That’s just a figure of speech. ‘Blow your brains out’? Come on. All it really means is that we’re friends. I mean, who else is she gonna talk to if I’m gone, right? I mean, if she left, I wouldn’t blow my brains out. Of course, I would take that job in Maryland, because it’s double the pay and soft-shell crab just happens to be my favorite food.” He chuckles. “Did you have any other questions?”

“Um, no,” Brian says, a little dumbstruck. Jim stands up with a nod to Carmen and leaves the room.

Carmen stares at Brian, her expression mirroring his own. “Do you think he even knows what he just said?” she whispers in amazement. 

Brian shakes his head. “I have no idea.”

\---

Brian starts to feel sympathy for Jim during Michael and Dwight’s fight at the dojo. Pam completely overreacts, and Jim is at a loss as to how to apologize to her, finally choosing a peace offering of sour cream and onion potato chips. 

Mostly, though, Brian is starting to side with Joe on this whole Pam-and-Jim thing. The longer he watches Jim make googly eyes at Pam, the less respect he has for the guy. Why doesn’t he just speak up? 

\---

They’ve settled into their filming routine rather comfortably. Joe does principal filming of Michael and Dwight, aided by the second boom operator, Tyler, whom he hired back in October. Carmen and Brian are assigned to all things Jim and Pam. And the backup unit, Gregory on camera and Quin on boom, is in charge of filling in between. 

So when Michael and Jan leave for Chilis to meet a prospective client, Joe tells Carmen and Brian to stay behind at the office, “Just in case,” taking the backup unit with him. Brian’s a little disappointed, believing all the action will be at Chilis tonight.

Then Pam finds the script for Threat Level Midnight. 

Jim orchestrates a table read, even getting Dwight in on the action--that, is until an autocorrect error sends Dwight out into the field behind the building to set off fireworks. 

“Are you hungry?” Jim asks Pam in an undertone as everyone heads off in opposite directions. 

Carmen films him making toaster oven grilled cheeses, then they follow Jim up to the roof where Pam is waiting. 

“I can’t remember the last time someone made me dinner,” Pam says, watching as Dwight and Kevin dance around fireworks. 

Roy doesn’t even cook her dinner? Why IS she still with that guy? 

They’re on their way back from the field, where they got close-up shots of the fireworks, when Carmen spots Jim and Pam in the lobby. She shoulders her camera and they listen intently, hoping the mic packs are still on as Jim pulls out his iPod. 

“Do you have new music?” Pam asks. 

“Yeah,” Jim says, handing her an ear bud. “Definitely.” 

They stand there, swaying slightly as they listen to the music. Carmen rolls her eyes as she watches. 

The next morning finds Michael gloating over spending the night with Jan, and Jim glowing over his sort-of date with Pam. 

“Some might even say we had our first date last night,” Jim says lightly, ignoring the boom mic as Brian looms over them. 

“Oh really? Why might some say that?” Pam asks, laughing.

“Because there was dinner, by candlelight. Dinner and a show, if you include Michael’s movie. And there was dancing and fireworks. Pretty good date.” 

“We didn’t dance,” Pam argues.

“You’re right, we didn’t dance,” Jim concedes. “It was more like... swaying. But still, romantic.” 

Pam chooses to ignore that. “Swaying isn’t dancing.” 

Jim’s frustration is evident on his face, which is possibly what makes him say, “At least I didn’t leave you at a high school hockey game.” 

Pam’s face transforms into anger, and Brian pulls the mic away reflexively, eying Jim in surprise. “I have some faxes to get out,” she says coldly, standing up and turning her back to him.

“Aw, come on, Pam...” he says.

Later, in their interview, Brian simply asks, “Well?”

“Okay, we didn’t dance,” Jim relents. “And I was totally joking. It’s not really a date if the girl goes home to her fiance.” He stares at his hands, then mutters, “Right?” 

\---

December flies by in a haze of ridiculousness, but Brian finds himself genuinely enjoying Michael’s antics as he crashes Jim’s barbecue and installs email surveillance software. Dwight and Angela also strike up a torrid and secret affair, which Pam alerts them to, though Pam backs off and admits that maybe they aren’t together after all. It’s okay, though--the camera sees everything.

At Christmas, Pam secretly gives the film crew individual gift bags she assembled herself--gift cards to Scranton’s best pizza place (Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe), cans of hot cocoa mix, and hand-drawn cards that read “Happy holidays and best wishes for the new year! Love, Dunder Mifflin Scranton.” 

The card ends up on Brian’s nightstand, the cheerful caricature of Dwight in a Grinch costume staring out at him when he wakes up in the morning. 

The studio sends down a note the week before New Years, demanding the crew find out what Jim wrote in Pam’s card. Brian asks him three times, but Jim avoids the question, instead talking about the office’s upcoming team building exercise. 

\---

The booze cruise is a perfect disaster on all fronts, not the least because it’s a cruise in the dead winter of January. 

Katie blows up at Jim for being an ass, but Jim is too focused on Pam to really care. Ever since their non-date on the roof, Jim’s been terrible about hiding his feelings for Pam, to the point that he nearly tells her everything on the deck. He freezes up, though, much to everyone’s frustration, and Pam takes the opportunity to head back inside where it’s warm. 

Later, Jim looks right into Carmen’s camera as he says, “I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up.” When he’s foiled, this time by Roy finally (publicly) setting a wedding date, Brian can’t bring himself to look at Jim. 

Later, in the edit bay, they watch the footage of Jim and Pam on the deck about a million times, agonizing over whether to include it in the package they send to the studio. Joe makes the final decision in his usual gruff way: “It’s relevant to what Jim does later. It stays.” 

Of course, freezing up with Pam wasn’t Jim’s only mistake that night. It wasn’t even his biggest mistake. 

Never tell Michael Scott your secrets. 

\---

Michael burns his foot on his George Foreman grill. Dwight, in his haste to assist Michael, suffers a concussion in a car accident. In the course of the day, he becomes friends with Pam, who doesn't think it's weird until Brian points it out. "Oh my God. Dwight's kind of my friend!"

When Jim finally decides Dwight needs medical treatment, Pam helps to walk Dwight to the elevator. "I just wanna say goodbye, okay?"

"Well, I'll be back..." he says dazedly.

"I know, but it's gonna be different," Pam says. 

"Why?"

"It's just... hard to explain."

"Oh, Pam," he says, touching her on the nose. "You're adorable."

"Ohhh, my goodness," Pam laughs, looking into the camera. "Come here." She wraps her arms around his neck.

"Oh, huggy hugs!" Dwight says delightedly, hugging her back tightly.

She looks a little sad as the elevator doors close. It's one of the more touching moments they've filmed so far.

\---

Pam finds out about Jim’s crush less than four days later. It’s an awkward day for everyone, Jim especially, but the crew is openly relieved that Pam can no longer pretend Jim doesn’t have feelings for her. 

She and Roy take a trip to the Poconos in mid-January. When Pam returns, Michael has displaced Jim to the annex for the day, limiting the amount of time he and Pam spend together. Indeed, Pam is so wrapped up in Roy that there isn’t much for Carmen and Brian to focus on, which frees them up to assist with filming the warehouse guys as they replace Michael’s ruined carpet.

Joe catches Jim checking his voicemail at the end of the day. Pam left him seventeen messages.

\---

Jan’s “Women in the Workplace” seminar in early February is the first time Brian and Carmen have to leave Pam’s side. Joe decides to cover the women’s meeting, sending the other four crew members to follow Michael down to the warehouse.

They make it back upstairs in time to catch Jim walking into the breakroom and remarking, “So you’re not doing it.”

Pam’s sitting at the table in the corner, trying desperately to be the wallflower everyone thinks she is. “How did you know?”

She’s never been a wallflower to Jim. “Why not?” he asks, desperate for reasoning.

“Just, like, no big reason,” Pam says evasively. “Just a bunch of little reasons.”

He gives her a look of disbelief. 

“Roy’s right,” she reasons further, “There’s no guarantee it’s gonna lead to anything anyway.”

He can’t seem to help himself: “Roy said that?”

She’s getting mad now, mad that Jim’s not letting her fall into the comfort of never living up to her potential. “What, you have something you want to say?”

Jim levels her with a serious look; suddenly this isn't about hypothetical art fellowships anymore. “You gotta take a chance on something, sometime, Pam.” Her eyes widen, but he adds, “I mean, do you wanna be a receptionist here, always?”

“Oh, excuse me!” Pam says, her voice raised defensively. “I’m fine with my choices!”

Brian grimaces despite himself.

Now Jim is almost angry. “You are?” _Are you happy as a receptionist? Are you happy with Roy? Are you happy that you’re only happy when you’re with me?_ The subtext is all there, close enough to touch, and Jim’s face isn't hiding anything these days.

Pam takes a little too long to answer. 

She sits down wearily at the end of the day. “I’m sorry, I don’t really feel like doing this right now,” she says softly.

“We don’t want to force you,” Brian says, “But we haven’t gotten an interview with you today.”

She squares her shoulders. “It’s fine.” 

“So,” Brian says, checking that Carmen is filming. “You were offered some kind of internship?”

“Yeah,” Pam says. “Jan said something in the meeting about an art fellowship, and I thought, maybe...”

She trails off, then looks at Brian. “But dreams are just that. They’re just dreams. They’re things that help get you through the day. Like the thing about the terrace, it’s nice, but, um, I don’t know, it was just something I read in this book when I was twelve. The girl in the book has a terrace outside of her bedroom, and she planted flowers on it, and I just loved that. It just always kind of stuck with me.”

“That’s not such an impossible dream,” Brian remarks softly. 

“It’s impractical,” Pam says, shaking her head, staring at him so earnestly that he wants to look away. “I’m not gonna try to get a house like that. They don’t even make houses like that in Scranton, so. I’m never gonna...”

And then she’s crying, and Carmen’s zooming in on her face. Brian pulls the boom mic away and gives Carmen a threatening look.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Pam mutters. “I don’t know why I’m getting so upset.”

“It’s fine,” Brian says reassuringly as Carmen regretfully lowers the camera. “It’s been a long day.”

“It’s a stupid thing to cry about,” Pam says, fixing him with red-rimmed eyes. “It’s just a house.”

Clearly, it wasn’t about the house. 

\---

She wears more makeup after that, even styling her hair differently on Valentine’s Day. Roy doesn’t seem to notice. 

She hand-draws little Valentines for the crew, and Angela bakes them all brownies. 

“It feels weird, accepting these,” Carmen says that evening, holding up the baggie of brownies. “It makes me feel like one of their coworkers.” 

Brian secretly agrees. Never mind that he eats all of his brownies, and Pam’s card ends up on the desk in his hotel room. 

\---

They’re contracted for the rest of the year, scheduled to return in March after a two-week break, and with a long break in the summer to work on other projects. Brian spends his two weeks in New York City, wondering what sorts of disasters are befalling Michael and his staff while he’s away.

\---

Dwight wins Salesman of the Year, and it lends itself to one of Brian’s favorite Jim pranks to date. 

Pam’s wedding planning is in full swing, much to Jim’s frustration. He starts planning a trip to Australia, conveniently over Pam’s wedding date. 

“I’m really sorry about that,” Jim says truthfully, but for all the wrong reasons.

Pam is crestfallen. 

\---

They skate together at Michael’s birthday party and go shopping for items to cheer Kevin up. Brian’s there for all of it. He can’t help but laugh at the fact that Pam thought Michael’s birthday was “a good day,” even with the cancer scare and Michael’s constant meltdowns. 

\---

The jinx game is something Brian never could’ve predicted. 

Jim goes through the entire day without speaking, even going as far as sitting down for an interview and refusing to talk, lest he break the jinx. It’s extreme even for Jim, and it’s strange that Pam doesn’t seem to question it. 

Things get interesting in the late afternoon, when they catch Jim and Pam seated at a table in the breakroom. 

“You look like you want to tell me something,” Pam’s teasing. “You look like you have something really important to say and you just can’t for some reason!”

Jim gamely grins and shrugs, his devotion knows no boundaries. 

“Come on, you can tell me,” she teases further, but she doesn’t see his expression change, doesn’t see the smile leave his eyes, replaced with sadness. “Jim, you can tell me anything.” She ducks her head and laughs, but he’s looking away, because there are some things he can’t tell her, things she’s unwilling to hear. Her face falls as she stares at him. 

“He’s gonna blow up any day now,” Joe predicts flatly in the edit bay on Saturday. “He’s coming apart at the seams.” 

They get to the talking head that Jim did at the end of the day. “Wow, what a terrible day to not be able to talk. Dwight was literally carrying around his own urine and dressed like one of the Village People. Why does he do the things that he does for Michael? I just don’t get it. What is he getting out of that relationship?”

Joe chortles. 

\---

A lot of things could have been avoided, in hindsight, if Michael hadn’t tried to take over conflict resolution from Toby. 

Pam never would’ve found out Jim had complained about her wedding planning. 

And Jim might not have decided to interview for an open sales position in Stamford, Connecticut the following Monday. 

\---

They don’t expect a lot to come out of Casino Night, which is a faulty assumption. Michael accidentally invites both Carol and Jan, keeping Joe busy for most of the night, and the third unit is hustling to follow Creed as he steals chips and Kevin as he plays as much poker as humanly possible. 

Carmen and Brian have a relatively easy job of just following Jim and Pam. They play a couple of hands of poker together, flirting a bit more than usual, but nothing too drastic. They spend most of the night apart, drama-free, Pam sticking with Roy and Jim floating along the fringes of the party until he ends up outside with Jan, where Carmen and Brian follow closely.

“Have you given any more thought to the transfer?” Jan asks him suddenly, puffing out a cloud of smoke. 

“Oh... yeah,” he says, bobbing his head but avoiding her gaze.

“Have you told anyone?”

He gazes at the ground, but that look of sadness he gets around Pam starts creeping across his features. “No.”

“Well you should,” Jan says bluntly. 

He looks at her thoughtfully.

Creed wins the mini-fridge. “Thanks, I’ve never owned a refrigerator,” he says in acceptance as he shakes Bob Vance’s hand. 

Brian’s chuckling over this when he spots Pam and Roy heading outside. He and Carmen hurry out, but it’s just to find Pam standing at the driver’s side of Roy’s truck, kissing him goodnight. 

“Hey, Halpert, keep an eye on her, all right?” Roy calls out to a passing Jim, who is heading back inside. 

“Will do,” he says distractedly as Roy drives off. 

Carmen lurks in the shadows with her camera trained on them. Brian can practically feel the nervous energy radiating off of Jim, stretching his boom mic as far as it can go without being intrusive. 

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” Jim asks, his voice quavering on the last word. 

Pam’s in a lighthearted mood, possibly trying to deter him from his serious one. “About how you want to give me more of your money?”

“No, I was...”

“Did you want to do that now?”

“No--”

“We can go inside,” she grins. “I’m feeling kinda good tonight.”

Jim takes a breath. “I was just, um...”

She’s staring up at him expectantly, still smiling from her gentle ribbing.

Brian suddenly thinks she’s never looked more beautiful.

“I’m in love with you.” 

Carmen scrambles to zoom in on Pam, and Brian is frozen with surprise over the fact that Jim actually did it, he finally told her. 

Pam’s face falls. “What?” she asks, as if she misheard him. Carmen kicks Brian in the leg, which propels him forward with the boom mic, suddenly desperate to make sure they’re capturing every word. 

“I’m really sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to... hear it.” Jim looks down, his voice cracking. “Probably not good timing, I know that, I just...”

“What are you doing?” Pam’s voice is cold, asking why he’s dropped their convenient facade of friendship, why he’s breaching their platonic cover. 

He gives her a sad smile, his eyes filled with tears, because she’s already answering the question he’s not even asking. 

“What do you expect me to say to that?” she asks, and he resigns. 

“I just needed you to know. Once.” _That someone else loves you, someone more deserving._ That’s the implication, anyway. 

Pam stutters, because he’s not backing down or taking it back, he’s forcing her to say something, and she ends up at, “I can’t,” and he starts backing away, retreating. 

“Yeah.”

“You have no idea...”

“Don’t do that.”

“... what your friendship means to me.”

“Come on,” he says, leveling her with an open gaze. “I don’t want to do that. I want to be more than that.”

“I can’t,” she says, choking on the last word. 

He’s openly crying now. 

“I’m really sorry,” she adds, “If you... misinterpreted things. It’s probably my fault.”

He shakes his head, once, leaning away from her. “Not your fault. I’m sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.” He wipes a tear as he walks past her, his shoulders hunched. She’s dumbstruck and doesn’t move for almost a minute, staring down at her engagement ring as she twists it around her finger. 

They assume Jim went home, so they follow Pam back upstairs into the office. “Not right now,” she says in a choked voice, but Carmen follows her all the same. “No questions, Brian, I mean it.”

Brian stays silent, just watching from the break room as she dials a number on Jim’s phone and leans against his desk, grateful that she didn’t rip off her mic pack and throw it at them. 

“It’s me,” she mutters softly into the receiver. “Yeah, I’m sorry, but I needed to talk to you. Um. Jim told me he’s in love with me.... About ten minutes ago?... No, I didn’t know what to say... Yes, I know... Um, I don’t know, Mom, he’s my best friend...”

Her fingers twist the cord of Jim’s phone, and Brian thinks he hears a door opening as Pam continues, “Yeah, he’s great... yeah, I think I am...”

Jim appears around the corner, and Carmen scrambles to refocus as he approaches Pam.

“Um, I have to go. I will.” Pam hangs up the phone and turns around. “Listen, Jim...”

But he just kisses her, without hesitation, and she immediately puts her hands to his face, kissing him back. Carmen is grinning, it’s finally over, they got what they came for, they didn’t miss it! 

But Brian doesn’t like the conflicting feelings he has as he watches them.

Jim pulls away and then takes a step back, all smiles as he holds her hands. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Me too,” Pam whispers, finally being honest, “I think we’re just drunk.”

“No, I’m not drunk,” Jim says quickly. “Are you drunk?”

“No,” she says, smiling. 

He leans in for another kiss--Brian really, honestly thinks they’re about to film a steamy makeout session--when Pam says, “Jim.” Her voice has an edge, and she stares up at him regretfully. 

“You’re really gonna marry him?” he whispers, and she nods. “Okay.” He drops her hands, and she watches him go with a mixture of elation and regret.

Carmen rests the camera on her lap, dumbfounded. “What just happened?” she asks Brian. “He looked... happy.”

“He’s free,” Brian says, watching Pam through the glass of the breakroom door.

Jim transfers to Stamford.


	3. I've Been Living a Lonely Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers. Also, I would like to reiterate that I have always been a fan of Jim/Pam, but if you are a diehard Halpert fan, this chapter might offend you.

They hire another production unit to follow Jim to Stamford. Joe offers to let Brian go, since he grew up in the Stamford area, but Brian opts to stay in Scranton. _With Pam,_ a cruel voice in his head whispers, but he chooses to ignore it. He’s not interested in Stamford. Stamford doesn’t have Michael Scott, or Kevin Mallone, or Brian’s favorite staffer, Creed Bratton. Stamford could never compare to Scranton. 

Consequently, Brian has little to no contact with Jim for the next few months.

Pam is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when they return for filming in early September. She’s got a spark in her eye and a spring in her step, and Brian figures it must be the newlywed glow radiating from her. 

He doesn’t think to check her ring finger until Roy visits her just before lunch. She looks up at Carmen and Brian, then walks into the conference room saying, “Let’s get this over with.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t go through with the wedding. I got cold feet a few days before, and I can’t really explain it, I just had to get out of that relationship. We still had to pay for all the food, so we froze it. But I’m doing well! I have my own apartment, and I’m taking art classes, and I have lunch for the next five weeks.” She grins. 

Brian doesn’t ask the obvious question. He figures Pam is grateful, because she gives him three plates of frozen chicken dinners to take home.

\---

They have indirect contact with Jim when Michael calls from the paper convention. Pam hangs up the phone, visibly affected, but she has a blind date that evening with someone Kelly knows, and she’s buzzing with nervous energy. 

“It wasn’t a love connection,” Pam says after the date. They've cornered her at the women’s bathroom. “I think, when I like someone again, I’ll just kinda know.” She gives the camera a frank look. It’s strange how much she’s acting like Jim lately. 

\---

They have their hands full when Dwight goes behind Michael’s back to Jan and guns for the regional manager position. Brian and Carmen pull double-duty, covering Michael and Pam as Joe follows Dwight out to the outlet mall for his meeting with Jan. 

Pam’s pretty low-key, she ordered a bunch of clothes online and tries them on for Kelly during lunch. The men of the office handle it poorly, and Pam changes out of her fuchsia shirt and back into one of her old button-ups. “I remember why I dress the way I do at work. But I’m gonna keep the clothes. I mean, it’ll just be cool to have after-work clothes that aren’t pajamas.” 

“That’s too bad,” Brian says. “You looked nice.”

“Thanks, Brian,” she says brightly, giving him a distracted smile as she stands up. 

\---

She dates a guy named Danny, a traveling salesman from Osprey Paper, which is based out of Throop. Brian never meets him, he only hears about this new guy when Pam mentions him to Kelly, but after a couple of weeks, it appears she’s moved on.

\---

Roy flirts with Pam awkwardly, pulling her out of one of Michael’s meetings under the pretense that there was something wrong with her new car. 

“Do you think you’ll get back together with him?” Brian asks as they head back upstairs. Carmen’s out of earshot, and Roy’s already back in the warehouse.

“Oh...” Pam says, genuinely surprised. “I don’t... really...” 

Jim might as well be walking between them, unspoken but undeniably present. 

\---

“Hey Brian,” Pam says, surprising him in the film closet at the back of the office. It’s 7AM, and he’s still not quite awake, so he figures that’s why he jumps about a mile at the sound of her voice.

“Pam,” he says, turning around to find her standing in the doorway. “What are you doing here so early?”

“Michael has an eight o’clock with a client, and he asked me to be here early today,” Pam explains. “Didn’t he tell you?”

“No,” Brian says. “So I guess you’re here for your mic?” 

“Yeah, I figured I’d get that out of the way before everyone else gets here,” she says, staring at him expectantly. 

“All right, just give me one second,” he says, scrambling for the case with the mic packs. He’s tense, acutely aware that the office is empty except for the two of them--Carmen isn’t even here yet. “Here you go,” he says, handing her the pack. “Busy day today?” 

“Yeah,” she says on a yawn as she puts on the mic. “Michael has two client meetings and Jan’s coming later, which means I’m gonna be stressed out by two o’clock. But I’m trying the new Chinese place around the corner after work, so I have something to look forward to.” 

“This city is sorely lacking in good Chinese,” Brian says, grinning at her.

“You should try it with me!” she says, brightening. “No one else will go--Angela doesn’t trust foreign foods, and Phyllis is on her wedding diet...” 

“Oh--” Brian says awkwardly. “Uh... I’m sorry, I’d love to, but we have rules that we aren’t supposed to... fraternize with the subjects.” 

Pam cracks a smile, leaning against the door frame. “Subjects? You make us sound like science experiments.”

“Don’t be silly. You guys are social experiments.” 

Pam laughs, and it’s heartfelt, and Brian thinks it might be the best thing that’s happened to him in this office. “Well, I guess you should avoid Won Ton King, two blocks from the office, at six o’clock tonight,” she says. “Otherwise you could get in trouble with your bosses.” 

“I can’t get fired if it’s a crazy coincidence,” Brian says lightly. “Otherwise they would’ve sacked me when I ran into Creed at the post office last month.” 

“Oh, then you probably shouldn’t press your luck,” she says with a mocking look of regret. “I’ll make sure to have some lo mein in your honor.” She heads back to the break room for some coffee, bouncing a bit as she walks. 

At exactly six o’clock, Brian walks into Won Ton King and spots Pam sitting at a table in the corner. “What a random and unlikely coincidence!” Pam says, her arms wide in mock surprise. “Who knew you would be in search of some delicious Chinese food tonight?” 

“I was hit with a random craving as I was leaving my job,” Brian says, walking up to the counter. She laughs and waits as he orders Kung Pao chicken and egg drop soup. 

“I guess, since you’re here and we’re both alone, it would be weird to sit at separate tables,” Pam reasons. “Your bosses can’t get mad at you for being polite, right?”

Truthfully, Brian knows he’s crossing the line here, but he doesn’t care. “Right.” 

“So,” she says when they both have their food, “Do you like your job?”

“You mean, do I like you and your coworkers?” Brian asks bluntly.

“No, I mean, do you like being a... sound guy?” she asks. 

“Boom operator,” he clarifies. “And yeah. I love my job, and I’m good at it.” 

“Good at a job you love,” she says flatly. “What’s that like?” 

“At least you’re not bad at a job you dislike,” he says helpfully, hating the tone of self-loathing she had on that question. 

“Maybe,” she says, poking at her noodles with her chopsticks. “Anyway, what does a boom operator do?” 

“Usually we just record the sounds, but I actually do the sound mixing for my footage, too. So I record everything, then when Joe and I start to edit, I choose the tracks that sound the best and adjust them so that they sound better.” 

He looks up and realizes she’s staring at him. “What?” he asks, suddenly going cold. 

“Nothing. I just... that’s the most I’ve heard you talk,” she says, smiling sweetly.

He's having trouble finding his voice. “Uh... so... what about you? You’re an artist, right? Do you paint a lot?”

“A bit,” she says. “Mostly watercolors. I’m not very good at it.” 

“Didn’t you say Jim likes them?” Brian asks without thinking. When her face falls, he realizes his mistake. “I’m sorry, I... I shouldn’t have brought him up.”

“No, Brian, no, please, don’t be silly,” she says, waving her hands. “I know you saw everything.” 

She falls silent, eating her food as she’s consumed with thought. She looks so sad, and he wishes he could make her feel better. “I know you miss him,” he says softly. “And I know you called off your wedding for him.” 

She doesn’t look up, too embarrassed to meet his eyes. “I was so stupid... to think he’d come back. I turned him down. Twice.” 

“It wasn’t stupid,” Brian says comfortingly. 

“Has he said anything?” 

It takes him a minute to understand what she’s asking. “Oh... I don’t know,” he says honestly. “Joe handles all the Stamford footage, I haven’t seen any of it. Sorry.”

She contemplates Brian for a moment. “Did you guys see everything? That happened... on Casino Night?”

He lowers his spoon and nods wordlessly. 

“Do you think I could... maybe... watch it?” she asks awkwardly. 

He leans toward her. “What would you be looking for?”

She shrugs. “I guess I want to make sure I remember it right. Sometimes it feels like it didn’t happen the way I remember.” Her eyes are sad, but she’s not crying, and Brian reckons that’s something. 

“We’ve been instructed not to show you guys our footage,” Brian says sympathetically. “We don’t want our presence to directly influence the events that occur in the office.” 

She sits back, nodding slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”

He watches her for a moment, then clears his throat. “But Pam... whatever you remember? It happened that way.” 

She shakes her head. “It’s fine. Like I said--I turned him down. I wasn’t brave enough to tell him how I really felt and just... dump Roy. I have to live with that now.”

_You sure are something, Pam Beesly,_ Brian wants to say, but he can’t. He’s already too invested. Instead, he gets her to talk about her parents, about how her mom and dad have such a great marriage and that she hopes to have one just like it one day. 

At the end of their meal, they stand and pull on their coats. “I’d say ‘Let’s do this again sometime,’ but this was such a freak accident that it’s not likely,” Pam teases him as they step outside. “So I’ll just say... it was nice getting to know you, Brian the Boom Operator.” 

“You too, Pam the Watercolor Artist,” he says, taking her outstretched hand and shaking it. She glows from the compliment, and he glows from the physical touch.

He’s in too deep. He knows it now. 

\---

Brian doesn’t hear Jim’s voice until mid-October, when Pam accidentally takes his call after-hours. “Dunder Mifflin. Oh, my God!” 

He knows it’s Jim by the look on her face, the way her expression softens as she sinks into her swivel chair. 

It’s a long conversation, nearly an hour, but it’s nice to see shades of old Pam again. New Pam is independent and daring, but still holding some sort of sadness that disappears when she’s on the phone with Jim.

But when she hangs up, she looks like she’ll never be happy again. 

Brian lets her go without an exit interview, which earns him an earful from Joe.

\---

Pam tries to get out of going to Diwali, possibly because she finds Kelly annoying, or maybe because Michael and Dwight will likely make a spectacle of the entire thing. 

Brian’s grabbing a quick lunch in the back breakroom when she comes in for a soda. “So, you’re not going tonight?”

She looks at him in mock surprise as she sits down. “Sorry, it’s just weird to hear you talk without the boom mic in your hands.” 

He grins. “Funny girl.”

“Um, I don’t know,” she hedges. “I guess, maybe...” 

“I mean, I heard a rumor that you were trying new things, like painting classes and Chinese food restaurants,” he says, his eyes on his sandwich.

She grins reluctantly. “Message received.”

He’s happy to see her when she shows up at Diwali. “I decided to come,” she says to Brian, smiling. “I feel a little under-dressed, but at least I’m not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right?” Carmen grins, and Pam notices. “Is that mean?” she asks Brian, but he just shakes his head.

Pam dances with a couple of Kelly’s cousins and even flirts with a couple of guys. When Michael proposes to Carol (and gets turned down), Pam leaves the room to text someone. It’s clearly Jim, but she never gets a reply. She even gets hit on by Michael, and has to drive him home. Maybe she should’ve stayed home and faked having mono after all.

Maybe Brian was being a little selfish when he pushed her to go. 

\---

Jan visits in early November, sitting down with Michael soberly. “I’m here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.” 

There’s immediate fallout: Michael tells everyone, then leaves to plead with the new CEO, David Wallace, to let Scranton stay open. Joe calls the studio head during a break and lets them know that their contract might get broken, but the studio instructs them to film until the office is empty. 

They sit down with each staff member to get their opinions. Angela, obviously, thinks it’s the work of the devil. Kelly freaks out about Ryan. No one is as thrilled as Stanley. Pam, however, takes a silver lining outlook. “It’s a blessing in disguise. Actually, not even in disguise. In my fantasy, I always thought I would slap someone, make a big speech, and storm out forever.” She smiles wistfully. “But this is good, too.” 

“You’d slap Michael, wouldn’t you?” Brian teases. 

“He tried to kiss me!” she says defensively, laughing. “You saw the whole thing!” 

“We did,” Brian nods, ignoring Carmen’s eyerolls. 

They stop filming at three o’clock, due to lack of activity. Even Angela is just sitting at her desk, scrolling through pictures of her cats on Facebook. Carmen goes for a long smoke break, and Brian takes the opportunity to organize his sound equipment in the storage closet. The cable situation has been out of hand for well over a month. 

“Hey.” 

He turns. Pam is standing in the doorway, wringing her hands nervously.

“Pam? What’s going on?” he asks, straightening with a spare mic pack in one hand and a bunch of cables in the other.

“Oh, nothing, I just...” she steps into the storage room tentatively, lowering her voice. “I just wanted to say, if we’re really closing down... I’m gonna miss you. All of you,” she adds as his eyes widen. “I mean, Carmen can get snippy and Quin is a little creepy and Joe has always scared me... but it was always kinda cool to come to work and know you guys would be here.” She says it all in a rush, a virtual fountain of feelings bursting from her as she blinks rapidly. “And... you’re a good friend, Brian.” 

She gives him a small, distracted smile and then starts to leave. 

“Pam,” he says impulsively, and she turns back questioningly. He wants to tell her everything--that he’s gonna miss her too, that he thinks she’s amazing, that he wishes she weren’t in love with another man... But as he opens his mouth, his phone rings.

“I’ll let you get that,” Pam says quickly; he suspects it’s an instinctive flight response, because she doesn’t want to hear any of that right now. He watches her go, filled with regret, and thinks maybe he knows how Jim felt on that booze cruise now.

He answers his cell--it’s Joe, who is following Michael and Dwight.

“I just got a call from the Stamford crew,” Joe says without preamble. “Apparently Josh screwed them over and took a management position at Staples.” 

“Wow.” Brian doesn't know who Josh is, but still, what a dick move. 

“You and Carmen need to keep the cameras rolling. Jan told Jim that Scranton is absorbing the Stamford branch, and that the Assistant Regional Manager job is Jim’s if he wants it. She’s on her way back to Scranton now.” 

“Is he gonna take it?” Brian asks quietly, his eyes on Pam as she organizes some papers at her desk.

“He has until the end of the day to decide,” Joe says, “But the crew seems to think it’s a fifty-fifty chance.” 

“Are you gonna tell Michael?” 

“No,” Joe says, irritated. “We aren’t supposed to get involved--so don’t go running to your bestie and telling her, am I clear?”

“My best--?” Brian splutters.

“Brian!” 

“Clear,” Brian says, hanging up on his boss. 

He doesn’t want to think about that call, or the fact that Jim might be coming back, or the way he felt lost and upset when he thought he might not get to see Pam anymore.

Jan reappears at a quarter to five, exhausted and frustrated. “Your branch is not closing,” she says shortly. “Stamford is closing. For the time being, it seems all of your jobs are safe.” She turns to Pam and asks her to call Michael, but Pam seizes her chance to ask, “Do you know if anyone’s coming back to Scranton?”

“Back?” Jan asks distractedly, digging in her purse. 

Pam realizes her mistake. “Coming to Scranton. Is anyone coming to Scranton?” she revises. 

“We don’t know. Probably a few,” Jan says, but Pam doesn’t seem reassured.

She has a million reasons why it’s a good thing she still has her job, but she doesn’t mention the one thing that’s keeping her there. Brian feels his heart sinking as he watches her, but mostly he’s grateful that his confession was cut short.

Things would’ve gotten really awkward otherwise.

\---

“Jim’s bringing a girl back with him,” Joe says in the edit bay on Saturday. “I’ve been going over the footage from Stamford, and there’s a woman, Karen, that he’s sort of seeing.”

“She’s pretty,” Brian says passively, eying the dark-skinned brunette on the monitor. She has none of Pam’s infectious earnestness.

“She’s a bit of a pistol,” Joe says bluntly. “This is definitely gonna shake things up.”

\---

Pam’s late on the day the Stamford people are due to start. Brian starts to worry about her around 8:30, so when she comes in laden with grocery bags, he chastises himself for being stupid. As she unpacks snacks and drinks in the conference room, Brian remarks, “You seem very chipper.” 

“Yes, I’m in a good mood today,” she says brightly. “I’m excited to meet all of the new people. And to see my old friend again, definitely. That’s always a thing that makes people happy, to have a friend back.” 

Brian keeps his distance from Pam for most of the morning, battling his bewildering feelings of envy and guilt--envy that she’s so happy to see Jim, and guilt that he hasn’t warned her about Jim’s new girlfriend.

Luckily, when Karen Fillippelli comes in, she and Pam immediately hit it off, bonding over Pam’s new sweater. 

Then they meet Andy Bernard, and Brian thinks Andy might be the most entertaining and absurd person he’s ever met. 

As Andy heads back to his new desk, Jim comes strolling in with Martin Nash. He pretends to meet Pam for the first time, but she ignores it and hugs him tightly. Still, it’s nothing compared to the reuniting of Jim and Dwight. Thanks to Ryan taking over his old desk, Jim ends up sitting with his back to Pam, which Brian thinks is oddly fitting. 

They grab a quick interview with Jim before the welcome meeting begins. “Hey man, good to have you back,” Brian says good-naturedly. 

“Yeah thanks...” Jim starts, trailing off.

“Brian,” he supplies.

“Yes, Brian. Sorry, it’s been a crazy week,” Jim says, rubbing his face. “What happened to the Stamford crew?” 

“They’re on retainer,” Brian says. “So are you ready to answer some questions?”

“Shoot.”

“Where do you stand with Pam?” Jim’s annoyed at the question, clearly. He repeats it, then says, “No idea. I mean, we’re friends. We always have been friends. That is where we stand.” He levels Brian with a Jim version of a death glare, so Brian switches to questions about the transfer.

Pam’s happy demeanor begins to fade when she corners Jim in the back breakroom, buying a bottled water instead of his usual grape soda. He blows her off for a catching-up dinner and then gets edgy when Michael appears. 

But she gets inklings throughout the day; Brian watches her closely for signs that she’s figuring it out. By the end of the day, she’s surmised that Karen and Jim are dating, but she takes it the way she takes most bad news: silently and miserably. 

“Hey,” Brian whispers to her after they’ve wrapped filming, his tone already apologetic. She’s at her desk, finishing up some of the transfer paperwork for Michael. 

“Some warning would’ve been nice,” she murmurs without looking at him. 

“You know I couldn’t do that,” he says. 

She turns her head away from him. 

“I’m really sorry, Pam,” he says, before heading back to the storage room where Carmen’s getting her things out of her locker.

They catch Jim and Pam in the parking lot after dark, where Jim finally tells her he’s seeing someone. 

“We’re friends. We’ll always be friends,” Pam says, and Jim has the gall to look irritated. 

\---

Brian buys a tiny stuffed turkey at the dollar store and leaves it on Pam’s desk the next morning. She holds onto her anger until midday, but she relents and smiles at him when he makes a funny face in her direction. 

\---

Everyone is a little lethargic after Thanksgiving, even as the office adjusts to the changes. Michael and Dwight find out that Martin is an ex-con, which naturally results in Martin quitting at the end of the day. Meanwhile Andy is desperate to hit on any and all of the women in the office, and Jim sends him after Pam with all of the wrong information. 

Pam’s oddly flattered as Andy speaks in pig latin and extols the virtues of frisbee golf. The whole thing ends with Andy playing the banjo for her as Jim gloats from his desk.

Brian is working on the mix that evening when he picks up a conversation from one of the mics he keeps wired in the break room.

“Are you gonna date that Andy guy?” It’s Meredith’s voice. 

“No.” Pam replies, her voice filled with laughter. “No way. He’s not my type.”

“He’s gross.” Kelly’s voice, disgusted. “I’d date Toby before I dated Andy. Or even one of those camera guys.”

“Why do you say it like that?” Meredith asks. “That guy Brian is a total hottie. I’d let him _boom_ me any day of the week, even if he made me put a bag over my head.” 

“He’s okay, I guess,” Kelly says. “What do you think, Pam?” 

“He’s cute.” He can hear the smile in her voice, and he suddenly feels warm all over. 

“She’d totally hit that,” Meredith growls. “She probably already has.”

“Meredith, don’t be gross,” Pam says, her voice fading as the three of them move away from the mic. 

His dreams are pretty eventful that night.

\---

Nothing much happens until Christmas, and then suddenly, a lot happens. 

Michael gets dumped by Carol, and reacts by trying to cancel Christmas. He even goes as far as threatening to take New Years from Stanley, and offering to take Pam to Sandals Montego Bay in Jamaica. Pam turns him down, and he eventually calls someone who apparently accepts.

Pam has a gift for Jim, an elaborate CIA-related prank on Dwight, but Jim apologetically tells her that he doesn’t think he should be pranking Dwight anymore, and Pam’s visibly crushed. She rallies, though, when Angela is terrible to Karen in the party-planning meeting.

“I feel like I’ve been kinda cold to Karen, and there’s no real reason for it,” she explains to Brian. “I mean, it’s not like she’s ever done anything to me. So, I think I probably shouldn’t be cold to her.” 

They strike up an unlikely friendship in their allegiance against Angela, which also pits Jim against Dwight and eventually ends in a huge merged party that includes Angela’s baked goods and Pam and Karen’s margarita machine. 

Pam hands out small boxes to the camera crew, insisting they’re gifts from everyone in the office, except no one else seems to know about them. They all contain small framed cartoon sketches of each crew member, each hand-drawn by Pam. 

“When did you have a chance to do this?” Carmen asks in delight as she examines her cartoon self holding a camera aloft. 

“I have a lot of free time at my desk,” Pam says with a shrug.

Brian’s is a bit different from everyone else’s: instead of holding a boom mic, he’s holding a plate of noodles. 

“I love it,” he says in an undertone, and she positively glows at him. “I’m sorry I can’t get you anything in return.”

“I understand,” she says, patting his arm. “Merry Christmas, Brian.” 

It kills him just a little bit when Jim approaches her at reception, asking about a helicopter for Dwight’s super secret mission. 

But he sneaks a box of chocolates onto her desk the next morning, and pretends he doesn’t know where they came from when she questions him. 

\---

It turns out Michael took Jan Levinson to Sandals. There’s photographic evidence, which ends up blown up and pinned to the warehouse wall. 

But there’s trouble in the paradise of Jim and Karen’s relationship, which Karen is very open about as she addresses the cameras. “I still haven’t found an apartment yet. I’m living out of a hotel. Yesterday, I saw a ‘for rent’ sign down the street from Jim, and he said he didn’t think it’d be such a good idea. He said it would be like we were living together. In different houses. Two blocks away.” 

Brian empathizes with Karen, having spent the last two years in extended-stay hotels in the Scranton area, but he thinks she’s expecting too much from Jim. It seems like more of the same--Jim never commits to anything, why would he commit to this?

Pam seems to notice the rift, and she approaches Jim after lunch, offering to be a sounding board for his problems. 

“We’ve been dating only a month, right? Same street? I feel like it might be a little close. A little bit much.” 

Pam only replies with a “Hmm,” so Jim presses her, and she reasons that Karen doesn’t live that far away in the first place. “Honestly, I think you’re being a little hard on her.”

But it seems to hit home when Karen corners her in the warehouse and thanks her for her help. She’s sitting at her desk after hours, shredding papers in a zombie-like state, when Brian finds her. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a rough day,” Pam says distractedly. She doesn’t even spare him a glance.

Brian doesn’t see the footage of her sobbing in the hallway, comforted only by Dwight, until that evening in post.

\---

Andy gets an idea to have the salesmen team up to make sales. It’s part of an elaborate plot to oust Dwight and get in with Michael, but it has far-reaching consequences. The most important consequence to Brian is that he has to spend the morning away from Pam. He’s assigned to Jim and Dwight, who are up to their usual antics.

When they get back to the office, they find Karen bouffant-ed and seething; apparently Phyllis had spilled the beans on Jim’s big crush on Pam. “I moved here from Connecticut,” Karen says to Jim over coffee, and he Jims his way out of it. 

\---

The next week, Karen’s overwhelmed by taking over Dwight’s clients after Michael fired him. Jim opts to prank Andy, who proves to be more annoying than Dwight, and he’s assisted by Pam, which rankles with Karen. 

This is when Brian starts to feel real contempt for the guy. In his opinion, Jim doesn’t deserve Pam OR Karen at this point.

Andy punches a wall in anger and gets sent to six weeks of anger management classes. Meanwhile, Dwight gets hired back just as Oscar reappears from what Kevin had dubbed his “gaycation.” At the Welcome Back party, Karen asks Jim if he still has feelings for Pam. “Yes,” he says, and Karen walks away in a huff.

\---

Phyllis’ bridal shower is attended by a Ben Franklin impersonator, whom the women erroneously believe to be a stripper. As they prepare food for the party, Karen tells Pam that she knows about the kiss, basically marking her territory around Jim.

“That was weird,” Pam mutters to Brian afterwards. “I guess that’s why Jim and Karen have been having problems?”

Brian doesn’t answer. 

“You’re kinda like God,” Pam says suddenly. “You know everything that’s going on around here, but you don’t warn us what’s about to happen.”

She has no idea how much that comment sticks with him.

Ben Franklin takes a shining to Pam, much to the office’s delight and Pam’s frustration. “God, I need a boyfriend,” Pam says after Jim teases her. “You know, Ryan, I’m totally ready to be set up with one of your business school friends. Whenever.” 

Jim takes the hit like a pro. 

\---

Phyllis’ wedding day turns out to be a real trial for Pam, who struggles with the various ways Phyllis had copied her own canceled wedding. If Brian could’ve protected her from any or all of it, he might have tried. 

Jim and Pam flirt at the bar before the reception is in full swing. Joe asks Jim for an interview with Brian assisting, and asks Jim what he would do if Pam were interested in dating him. Jim waffles for a bit before walking away without an answer. If Brian were a betting man, he would put money on the winds changing in Pam's direction.

Later, after the alcohol has flowed freely for a bit, Pam watches, hunched over, as Jim and Karen dance a slow song to Kevin’s band’s Sting cover. 

_You’ll remember me when the west wind moves--_

Jim looks up, locking eyes with Pam, who looks away hastily.

_\--upon the fields of barley. You’ll forget the sun--_

She stands up and hurries out of the reception hall, her head ducked as Jim watches her go, his face betraying him. 

_\--in his jealous way as we walk in fields of gold._

He doesn’t chase her.

She leaves with Roy, and Brian thinks she’s purposefully avoiding everyone's gazes as she grabs her coat and follows Roy out of the hall. 

Jim is incensed. 

\---

“You’re the only one who’s not judging me, Brian,” Pam says, leaning against the vending machine. “Everyone else thinks I’m crazy... for taking Roy back.”

He pushes his quarters into the coin slot. “Does he make you happy?”

She thinks about it. “I think he can. We have a lot of issues to work out. It’d be easier if it didn’t feel like everyone was watching us.”

“You need to stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking, Pam,” Brian says softly, choosing a Sprite. Pam reaches down to retrieve the can and hands it to him. “Just... do what’s right for you.” He ignores how their fingers brush as he takes the can from her.

In her interview, she’s more composed as she says, “I’m really happy to be back with Roy. I think it shows maturity. Maturity and dignity. Is that braggy?” she asks Brian. “I don’t mean it to be braggy.” 

He shakes his head in amazement. 

Jim doesn’t want to talk about it, saying something about Brangelina and proclaiming his boredom of the whole thing. Brian doesn't push him further on the subject, because if he's being honest, he's tired of the whole Jim-and-Pam thing, too.

Then Dwight finds a bat in the office and all hell breaks loose.

Meanwhile, Pam’s handing out flyers to her art show that evening. After she gives one to Toby, she turns to Brian and asks, “Are you coming tonight?”

“Yeah, me and Carmen are assigned to you,” he says casually, but she beams nonetheless. 

Unfortunately, only Roy and Oscar show up to her art show. Oscar’s boyfriend, Gil, is ruthless in his critique: “Real art takes courage and honesty.”

“Well, those aren’t Pam’s strong points,” Oscar concedes. 

“Exactly,” Gil replies. “That’s why this is motel art.”

Again, she takes it with misery and silence. 

She’s about to take her paintings down when Michael appears, and he’s genuinely floored by her work. When Pam hugs him tearfully, Brian thinks he finally understands why the studio finds him so lovable and sympathetic. 

\---

Michael, Dwight, Jim, and Karen leave early to go to a cocktail party at the CFO’s house, so the rest of the office goes to Poor Richard’s for happy hour. Pam ropes Roy into going with her.

“I’ve decided that I’m gonna be more honest. I’m gonna start telling people what I want directly. So look out, world, ‘cause old Pammy is getting what she wants. And don’t call me Pammy,” she says confidently in her interview.

“Does this have to do with what Oscar and Gil had to say about your art?” Brian asks.

She raises her chin. “Yes,” she says baldly. “And in the interest of being more honest, I want to say that sometimes it kills me that you’re always there, witnessing all of my failures and hardships.” 

She means the whole crew, but she says it to Brian, and it’s unsettling. He sits back guiltily, but she merely smiles and stands up to leave the room.

The group is raucous, even Stanley, and in the end, Pam’s new honesty policy goes too far. She confesses about the Casino Night kiss to Roy, who goes into a violent rage, throwing glasses at mirrors and screaming at Pam.

“This is over,” she says, shaken, walking right past Brian without looking at him. 

He can’t sleep that night, too consumed with fear over what might have happened if Roy had hurt Pam. Brian hadn’t made a single move to defend her, and he hates himself for it.

\---

On Friday, Roy is prowling around the parking lot like a tiger ready to attack. Joe keeps a close eye on him from the windows of the conference room, but at some point Roy decides he’s tired of waiting and heads up to the office.

“Hey, Halpert!”

Everyone freezes for a second, realizing that Roy is dangerous somehow. Jim looks back at Pam, who is looking wordlessly up at Roy. Brian’s trapped on the other side of Jim and Dwight's desk clump, helpless to shield her if Roy turns violent again.

He lunges for Jim, who swings Karen out of the line of fire just as Dwight pops up on the other side of Carmen, a can of pepper spray in his hand. He aims right for Roy’s eyes and fires.

It gets in Brian’s eyes as well as Carmen’s, causing intense pain, but Roy is down for the count, and no one was physically injured. 

\---

Brian’s at the office at six-thirty on Monday morning, hoping Pam will come in early so he can talk to her, but she doesn’t show up until 8:15. She doesn’t even consent to an interview until just before lunch, when she can't put it off any longer. 

“I really don’t want to talk about it. I don’t mean to be rude, but I just... I don’t want to comment on what happened.” She pauses, staring right into Brian’s eyes. “It sucked.”

Brian finds her reading in the back breakroom and approaches her. “Hey, I've been wanting to talk to you. Are you okay?”

“No,” she says softly. “I’m... making a lot of bad decisions, lately.” 

“Hey,” he says, putting a hand on her arm--strictly platonic, of course-- "You were honest. It sucks right now, but it always pays off.” 

She gives him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Brian.” 

Just as he and Carmen begin filming again, Jim walks into the breakroom. “Sorry I almost got you killed,” Pam says endearingly, but Jim isn’t receptive to it today.

“Yeah. That was nuts.”

“He could’ve broken your nose or something. Crazy.” She looks down, then musters her courage. “It’s just so stupid. I mean, getting back with Roy and everything. I mean, what was I thinking, right?”

Jim keeps his back to her. “No, I mean, you guys really seem to have a strong connection.”

“Not anymore,” Pam says, ignoring the barb. “It’s, um... it’s completely over now.”

Jim chuckles, sliding her an incredulous look. With calculated forethought, he says, “We’ll see. I’m sure you guys will find your way back to one another someday.”

Brian thinks he could go full-Roy on Jim just for saying that.

“Jim,” Pam says sharply. “I’m really sorry.”

“Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it,” he says as he walks away. Pam blinks back tears.

“That was... kind of douchey,” Carmen mutters, echoing Brian’s thoughts exactly.

Roy asks Pam to lunch, and everyone thinks it’s a bad idea. Joe wisely takes the assignment, shouting Brian down and ordering him to stay at the office, so Brian only sees their conversation in post. 

“So you gonna start dating Halpert then?”

“No, he has a girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah... Wait a minute, you broke up our wedding for the guy.”

“No... there were a lot of reasons...”

“So you’re not even gonna try to go out with him?”

Pam shrugs, giving the camera a surprised look.

Roy shakes his head. “I don’t get you, Pam.”

“I know.”

That's as good an indicator as any that Roy and Pam weren't compatible. Then again, maybe Roy and Pam were always doomed, Brian thinks. After all, what kind of couple has Jewel’s “You Were Meant For Me” as their song? 

\---

Andy returns from anger management a new man. Meanwhile, Pam and Jim assist Darryl in talking Michael out of jumping off the top of the building and onto a bouncy castle. As you do.

\---

Then the office is embroiled in a product recall scandal, culminating in the only outcome that makes sense: a press conference and an apology video.

\---

Phyllis gets flashed in the parking lot, bringing out most of Michael’s worst qualities. ("Phyllis, you say? I mean, did he see Pam? Or Karen from behind?")

“I don’t often miss Roy,” Pam says laughingly, “But I can tell you one thing: I wish someone had flashed me when I was with Roy, because that would’ve been the ass-kicking of the year. Especially if it had been Jim. He would not have wanted me to have seen Jim’s... Wow, I’m saying a lot of things. Can you guys cut that?” 

“You know we can’t,” Brian says, trying not to laugh.

Later, when Michael takes all the women to the Steamtown Mall as an apology or celebration of sorts, things get awkward between Karen and Pam. They're advising Michael on his relationship with Jan when things start to get a little tense. 

“Michael,” Pam says firmly, “You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t make you happy.” And no one would know more about that mistake than Pam.

“I’m happy sometimes,” Michael amends. “When we scrapbook... or right towards the end of when we’re having sex...”

“Okay,” Karen cuts him off. “Most relationships have their rough patches, you just have to push through it sometimes.” 

Pam glances over at Karen as Michael says, “That’s smart,” and then she says, “Maybe... but it sounds like you’re just wrong for each other.”

Karen seems to think maybe Pam’s not just talking about Michael and Jan.

And maybe Pam isn’t talking about Michael and Jan at all. 

The crew is surprised when Michael offers to take the women to Victoria’s Secret, and they’re stunned when most of the women (except Angela) take him up on the offer.

“I’m kind of between boyfriends right now, so I don’t really need anything sexy. But I do need some new handtowels, I figure I can cut up this robe,” Pam says, holding up a hot pink robe. 

“That’s practical,” Brian remarks teasingly, and she shrugs, unaffected. 

He’s glad she didn’t buy any lingerie--he didn’t need THAT mental image further complicating things.

Meredith’s van gets a flat tire on the way back to the office, and everyone stands by and watches as Pam changes it all by herself. 

“This bathrobe’s already coming in handy,” Pam says brightly before hurrying back to the van.

Brian loads up with the crew to follow them, and Quin remarks, “That Pam is turning into a real firecracker.”

\---

Beach Day starts out with one of Brian’s personal nightmares: Meredith accidentally flashes the film crew. Pam is also in for a bad day, as Michael has asked her to take convoluted notes on every member of the staff. “I have the most boring job in the office, so it makes sense that I’d have the most boring job on Beach Day,” she says. 

During a hot dog eating contest, Michael reveals that he’s interviewing for a corporate position, and that the games are meant to determine who his successor will be. His frontrunners are Jim, Dwight, Stanley, and Andy, but Jim turns out to be uninterested in the regional manager position, as he and Karen place a phone call to Wallace asking to be considered for the corporate job. 

Michael’s final challenge is fire walking, which goes... horribly. Dwight ends up singed and miserable. Pam had tried to walk over the coals, but since she wasn’t a viable candidate for regional manager, Michael denied her the chance.

As everyone sits in a circle with a recovering Dwight, Michael holds a tribal council meeting to determine who gets his job. He’s in the middle of choosing when Brian suddenly notices Pam lingering by the coals. He watches as she bends down, her hand outstretched as if to measure the intensity of the heat.

He nudges Carmen and points in Pam’s direction. “What the hell is she doing?” he whispers. 

They keep an eye on her as Dwight makes his case--something about aristocrats and a talent agent--but pure fear shoots through Brian like a lightning strike when Pam glances up in their direction, puts her head down, and runs across the coals.

“Oh, shit!” Carmen murmurs as Gregory, the cameraman who had been filming Pam, gives them the thumbs-up that he’d captured the whole thing.

Brian thinks he might never recover from that.

Pam comes running over, interrupting Dwight. “Hey! I want to say something!” 

She stands in the middle of the circle, and Brian leans in with the boom mic, nearly touching her head with it. “I’ve been trying to be more honest lately,” she says, “And I just need to say a few things. I did the coal walk! Just--I did it! Michael, you couldn’t even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.” 

A ripple of surprise goes through the group as Michael laughs awkwardly, but Pam’s not done. 

“Wow, I feel really good right now.” She takes a breath, then looks at all of them one by one. “Why didn’t any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It’s like sometimes all of you act like I don’t even exist.”

Everyone stops smiling, the silence becoming tense, and then Pam turns to Jim just as Gregory gets set up with his camera on her. “Jim, I called off my wedding because of you.” Jim’s eyes widen, but he stays quiet. “And now we’re not even friends, and things are just weird between us, and that sucks. I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford, and I really miss you.” She’s blinking back tears, and everyone’s pretending not to notice. 

“I shouldn’t have been with Roy,” she continues, shaking her head, her gaze steady on Jim. “There were a lot of reasons to call off that wedding, but the truth is, I didn’t care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you’re with someone else, and that’s fine, it’s not--whatever, that’s not what I’m... I’m not... okay, my feet really hurt. The thing that I’m just trying to say to you, Jim... and to everyone else in the circle, I guess... is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle,” she adds. 

She nods once, perhaps first registering everyone else’s attention on her, and says, “Okay, I am gonna go walk in the water now... yeah. It’s a good day.” And with a laugh, she runs on her tiptoes to the edge of the water, lighthearted and free for the first time. 

As Brian watches her go, his heart drops like a stone in his chest. Somewhere in that speech, he realized he has _real_ feelings for Pam. 

“Pam, that was amazing!” Michael calls after her, then turns back to the group. “But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.”

Brian and Carmen follow Jim out to the edge of the water, where Pam’s soaking her feet. She doesn't look up as he comes to stand next to her, but she senses his presence, because she doesn't jump when he speaks.

“The real reason that I went to Stamford was because I wanted to be... not here.”

“I know.”

“And even though I came back, I just feel like I’ve never really... come back.”

She nods. “Well I wish you would.”

Everyone’s exhausted as they load back onto the bus, the crew getting on last. Karen and Jim are already seated at the back, not talking but not angry, either. Dwight’s curled up in a fetal position just behind the driver, and across from him is Pam, leaned up against the window with an empty seat beside her.

“How’re your feet?” Brian asks quietly as Carmen heads toward an empty seat by Andy. 

“Tender,” she says sleepily. “You can sit with me, if you want.” 

He wants to, desperately, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to control himself at this moment. “Ah, I can’t, sorry, I have all this equipment,” he says, and it’s true--the mic, the pack, and the cords need a seat of their own. Still, she looks disappointed as he moves past her. 

The ride back seems to take forever. Stanley snores, Dwight whimpers, and Andy hums oldies to himself in an obnoxious falsetto. 

When they get back to the office, Brian hangs back on the bus until Pam’s in her car. He avoids the rest of the crew, opting to throw his sound equipment in his Jeep instead of taking it all back upstairs. 

It’s midnight when he gets back to his hotel, and he’s starting to hate the walls, the tiny stove, the scratchy comforter, and the cheerful cards from Pam that are still sitting on his desk. 

He hums “The Gambler,” which has been stuck in his head since everyone sang it on the bus, as he climbs into bed. If she wasn’t so in love with Jim, maybe he’d go for it, he reasons. 

_You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run..._

No. No maybes. He _definitely_ would go for it if she weren’t in love with Jim.

\---

“For the record, I am not embarrassed at all. It needed to be said, and I said it, and it only took me three years to summon the courage, so...” Pam bows, grinning. 

“A bow, really?” Brian teases. 

“Admit it, you’re proud of me,” she says, and he nods once, aware that Carmen is watching him.

It’s Monday morning, and the office is abuzz with gossip about Pam’s outburst, Dwight being Michael’s successor, and Jim’s haircut. Yep. The office is excited about Jim’s haircut. Sometimes this place is so normal that Brian can almost forget the insane things that have happened here over the past two and a half years.

Pam apologizes to Karen in the breakroom, not for what she said, but just for making Karen uncomfortable. Karen doesn’t mince words with the crew: “Pam is... kind of a bitch.” 

Brian agrees to disagree. Then again, he admittedly has a bit of a blind spot when it comes to Pam, which is why he begs Joe to let him go to New York and shadow Jim, Karen, and Michael. Anything to get a break from the assault of feelings he’s having lately. 

“Are you kidding?” Joe asks incredulously. “You’re my best sound guy, and all the action is gonna happen here with Dwight. No, Gregory and Quin can handle New York just fine.” It's not the first time Joe underestimates Michael's potential for complete and utter destruction.

Michael gets back together with Jan, mostly because she got breast enhancement surgery. Karen and Jim joke about it, and Brian asks Pam later if it bothers her when they do that. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m sure it must’ve been weird for Jim when Roy and I were joking around... that one time.” 

“And what do you think about Jim going to interview at corporate?” Brian asks. 

“I’m happy for him!” she says sincerely. “I hope he gets the job. I really just want him to be happy. And I know that sounds cliche, and I know saying it sounds cliche, sounds cliche... Maybe I’m being cliche, I don’t care, because I am what I am. That’s Popeye.” 

She’s frustrated that she’s failing to make her point, but Brian identifies with it a little more than she realizes.

\---

“So, it’s your last day for a while,” Pam says the next morning as she grabs her mic pack. When Brian gives her a surprised look, she says, “I heard Joe talking to the other guys about it. You have a job in Canada?”

“Yeah,” Brian says, pulling on his headphones to test the sound. “An independent film. I’m pretty excited about it.” 

“At least you guys got your contract in,” she says helpfully. “Another year here in good ol’ Scranton. I’m surprised you guys aren’t tired of us yet.”

“We can never be sick of you guys,” he says lightly. “And it’s great news... I think I’m gonna rent an apartment when I come back, instead of staying at the extended stay hotel.” 

“Huh,” she says thoughtfully. “I never thought about where you guys live. I don’t even know where you’re from.”

“Connecticut,” he says, smiling. “New Haven.” 

“Where do you live when you’re... not here?” 

He straps on his pack, avoiding her gaze. “Nowhere. I’m... kind of a transient.” 

“That sounds exotic,” she says, her eyes alight with excitement. 

“It’s not, really,” he says honestly. “It means I don’t have roots anywhere.”

Pam’s smile twists into a straight line. “Sometimes, I think roots are overrated. It makes things... complicated.” 

He contemplates her for a moment, wondering if she’s giving him some sort of warning. “Yeah... maybe you’re right,” he says mildly.

She’s delighted later that morning when Dwight asks her to be his secret assistant to the regional manager. “I literally cannot wait until I see what Dwight has planned. And I wish Jim were here.” She smiles, and Brian smiles back. Self-preservation is the name of the game. 

Dwight’s plans of world domination are shattered when Michael returns. Brian is a little surprised when Dwight thanks Pam, sincerely, for her help when she held the coveted title. “You served the office with great dignity,” he says somberly. 

At 4:30, Brian and Carmen ask Pam for a final interview for the day. “No, I don’t know what the future holds," she answers. "But, I’m optimistic. And I had fun goofing around with Dwight today. Jim and I are just too similar. Maybe one day I’ll find my own Karen. But that is, you know, not... is a man. A man version. But until then, I can hold my head up.” She cocks her head at Brian and clarifies, “I’m not gay.”

“Have you heard anything about who was promoted?”

“I haven’t heard anything,” she says. “But I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn’t he? He’s totally qualified and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that’s okay. We’re friends, and I’m sure we’ll stay friends.”

Brian nods, adjusting his headphones as he listens intently to her answer. 

“We just, we never got the timing right. You know? I shot him down, and then he did the same to me. But you know what? It’s okay. I’m totally fine.” She stares right into the camera. “Everything is gonna be totally--”

The door opens, and everyone swings around at the sound of Jim saying Pam’s name. “Sorry,” he says, holding his hand out to the camera before turning back to Pam. “Uh, are you free for dinner tonight?”

“Yes,” Pam says instantly.

“All right. Then... it’s a date,” Jim says, giving her a significant look before shutting the door. 

Pam looks back into the camera with tear-filled eyes. Carmen’s grinning from ear to ear, ecstatic, as Pam turns to Brian with a huge smile and asks, “I’m sorry, what was the question?”

“Nothing,” he says, smiling back at her, his stomach twisted in knots. “You’re good to go.” 

“Thanks, Brian,” she chirps brightly before chasing after Jim. 

Carmen doesn’t say anything. Brian knows she’s always been a big fan of Jim and Pam. Heck, now that Jim’s manned up and actually asked Pam out, Brian has nothing against the guy. 

“Isn’t this the end of their story, though?” Brian argues with Joe later at the edit bay. “They got their happy ending--Michael is staying in Scranton, Jim and Pam are together, we can all go home now.” 

“They want another year,” Joe says passively. “Besides, I think we’re gonna want to see what happens next. The temp got the corporate job.”


	4. 'Cause Love, We Need It Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers.

Canada turns out to be a reprieve from the tragedy that has become Brian’s life. 

He meets Jessy on the second day of filming, and they date for the duration of the summer. But when filming is over, they are too. 

He doesn’t feel too sad about it, and she doesn’t seem very affected either. 

Still, he wishes he had more to look forward to than an empty apartment and mediocre Chinese food. 

\---

On their first day back, Brian’s not surprised to find a sunny and beautiful Pam sitting at reception. Her hair is different and her wardrobe has changed. She’s preoccupied by an issue with her computer, but her greeting toward Brian is just as friendly as ever. 

This time, he feels like the only person who came back from the summer unchanged. 

Things feel pretty mundane, even normal, for most of the morning. Pam’s issue turns out to be a virus thanks to a link she’d clicked. Angela’s fretting over her sick cat, Sprinkles. Creed’s blogging. Kevin’s trying to determine if Pam and Jim are dating, and Oscar believes they are not. 

Then Michael comes in and tells everyone he hit Meredith with his car, and Brian suddenly feels like he’s home again. 

They get Jim to sit down for an interview just before lunch, and he explains that he broke up with Karen after he turned down the corporate job, and she was gone the next day. “And as for me and my current romantic life... I’m single now, and looking. So, if you know anybody.” 

“Didn’t you take Pam out to dinner?” Brian asks impulsively. “What happened there?”

“Oh, we’re friends,” Jim says, doing a half-shrug. “We’ve always been friends. We’re good as friends.” 

Pam gets a little more detailed: “Jim and I went to dinner a few times when he got back from New York. I talked him through his breakup. It’s really nice to be good friends again.”

She’s glowing, though, and Brian isn’t the only one who notices. After she’s left the room, Carmen says, “She is a whole new person, and she wants us to believe she’s not hitting that?” She gestures out at Jim, who’s on his phone. “They must think we’re as stupid as their coworkers.” 

“Not all of their coworkers,” Brian says mildly. “I think Kevin has it figured out.”

“And what about you?” Carmen asks, pulling out a cloth to clean the lens of the camera. “Are you gonna do something stupid if they’re not dating?”

He stands up to leave the room, taking care not to look at her. “Haven’t done anything stupid yet.”

“That’s debatable.” 

\---

It’s Carmen who comes up with the idea to follow Pam discreetly in Joe’s van. Brian doesn’t go--sound isn’t necessary for a stakeout--but he sees it in post. 

He finds himself more irritated than anything else, irritated that Pam lied to him, and it compels him to silence while Joe and Carmen debate on whether they should show this evidence to the couple in question.

“We’ve never shown them footage to sway the storyline,” Joe says, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. He gained at least ten pounds over the summer. “What would be the point of showing it to them?”

“Well it would get them to stop lying to us so that we can get straight answers again. No one wants to see weeks of footage of Jim and Pam lying when we all know the truth.”

“Dwight and Angela have been lying for two years,” Joe argues. 

“But we didn’t root for Dwight and Angela for three years,” Carmen replies. “They just happened, and they’re much better at hiding it than these two bozos. People will want to know their story.”

“What do you think, Brian?” Joe asks, holding his hand up to Carmen, who rolls her eyes in exasperation.

Brian’s sitting back in his chair, his fingers tented as he watches the debate. “I think... as long as we don’t alert anyone else in the office... it won’t really sway how their relationship plays out,” he says carefully. “I think they’re only hiding it from us because they want to hide it from the staff, particularly Michael.”

Carmen looks shocked that he actually took her side. Joe stares at the screens in contemplation for another moment before saying, “Fine, show them the footage tomorrow. See what they have to say.” 

They leave Joe to his editing, but once they’re outside, Carmen gives Brian an appraising look. “You really do have a lid on this crush, don’t you?”

“Carmen--”

“I’m not gonna tell anyone,” she says, holding up her hands. “Just... be careful.”

“I’m always careful.”

\---

Pam is swamped with answering phone calls with Michael’s new Fun Run greeting, and Jim’s always been an expert at feigning work, so Carmen and Brian aren’t able to corner them until mid-morning, as they’re eating chips in the break room. Pam glances at Brian as Jim asks, “What?”

They get them into the conference room and close the blinds so that no one else can see the footage. When they’re finished watching, they both stumble and stutter, attempting half-assed lies and excuses, before Pam blurts, “We’re dating.”

“Wow,” Jim says, looking into the camera. “There it is.”

“Yeah,” Pam grins, choosing as usual to address Brian. “We haven’t told anybody, but, it’s going really great. Right?”

Jim bobs his head. “Yeah, it’s going really great.”

After the run, Pam falls in step beside Brian as Jim helps Michael walk back to the office. “How was your summer, Brian?”

“It was good,” he says, a little too loudly, a little to brightly. 

“Canada was fun?” she asks.

“Yep.” He can’t look at her, so he picks up his pace and says, “Sorry Pam, I gotta get back upstairs before everyone else does.”

“Oh... okay,” she says, sounding disappointed behind him as he puts distance between them. 

It’s not so bad, he thinks. He can get used to this. With some space and a little bit of time, he can figure this out. 

\---

Toby’s been harboring a secret crush on Pam ever since his divorce. No one except the film crew knows about it, because no one cares enough about Toby to pay attention. But when Toby witnesses a peck on the cheek from Pam to Jim, only the film crew sees the look of envy that crosses his face. 

They’re a little incredulous at the office memo that Toby puts out, which ruffles Michael’s feathers, but it results in the entire staff finding out about Jim and Pam’s relationship. Michael freaks out and nearly cries, but the rest of the staff’s reactions range from disinterest to nonplussed. 

It’s Dwight’s interview, though, that surprises the whole crew: “I don’t see it. I think they both could do better.”

Phyllis corners Jim and Pam as they’re eating lunch together and tells Pam, “It’s great that you’re dating, but when a new client calls, you just have to randomly assign them to a sales person. You can’t base who gets new clients on who you’re sleeping with that week.” 

Jim goes in for a interview only two minutes later. “And that is why we waited so long to tell people.”

It certainly makes sense. Also, somewhere along the way, Phyllis apparently became a real bitch.

Ryan leverages his new position of power to ask Pam out to dinner, but she turns him down, telling him she’s with Jim. In his interview before the end of the workday, Jim gloats, “I guess he can’t get... any girl he wants.”

Brian has to take a break, pacing around outside the warehouse for about twenty minutes before he gets a handle on his irrational anger.

\---

The day Dunder Mifflin Infinity goes live, Dwight makes it a personal mission to sell more paper than the website. It’s a reaction to being dumped by Angela, which makes Dwight insufferable and sympathetic at the same time. Jim wants to prank him, but Pam is reluctant, feeling that it would be attacking him while he’s weak. Still, in the end, she relents and does what Jim wants. 

After some classic Michael misunderstandings (thinking there was a New York club named ‘Chatroom,’ ordering from Pizza by Alfredo instead of Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe, and holding a teenager hostage), the launch party is declared a disaster and Pam and Jim escape to the roof with one of the good pizzas, where they sit and chat. 

Brian should find it torturous, but it’s becoming easier and easier to close off that part of his brain. 

“Do you remember the first thing you said to me on my first day of work just before you walked me to my desk?”

“Yeah,” Pam says, grinning. “‘Enjoy this moment, because you’re never going to go back to this time before you met your deskmate, Dwight.’”

Brian grins despite himself.

“And that’s when I knew,” Jim says, smiling at her, and that’s something, because even Brian took a while to fall for Pam. “You?”

“You came up to my desk and you said, ‘This might sound weird, and there’s no reason for me to know this, but that mixed-berry yogurt you’re about to eat is expired.”

“That was the moment that you knew you liked me?” Jim asks incredulously. “Wow. Can we make it a different moment?”

But Brian thinks that’s something else: Apparently Pam is attracted to men who watch her so closely that it borders on creepy.

\---

The next Thursday, Pam sort of accidentally makes a reservation for herself and Jim at Dwight’s bed and breakfast, Schrute Farms. There’s a lot of night shooting that evening, as Joe also wants to follow Michael to figure out where he’s secretly going at night. He gives Brian the choice to follow either one, but Brian knows a bad idea when he sees one. As much as he loves being around Pam, he doesn’t think it’d be a good idea to follow her for the next twenty-four hours. So he chooses to follow Michael, which is something he hasn’t done in nearly two years. 

It’s an adventure, a refreshing one at that, because even though Michael does some insane things, there’s still something very appealing about watching the guy navigate his crazy life. It turns out he moonlights as a telemarketer because he and Jan are broke, and while he’s actually bad at that job, it appears his coworkers like him a lot more than his staff at Dunder Mifflin does. 

Everyone’s yawning the next morning, even the film crew, so things are pretty laid back and quiet until Ryan shows up.

Meanwhile, Dwight is in a downward spiral over his breakup, as Angela appears to be moving on... to Andy. Pam and Jim leave a glowing review of Schrute Farms on Trip Advisor, but it takes a frank conversation with Jim to snap him out of it.

Brian and Carmen creep into the stairwell where Jim finds Dwight crying against a wall. He sits down without looking at Dwight and asks, “Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton?”

Dwight mumbles incomprehensibly. 

“Yeah, I didn’t think I had. Well, it was all about Pam.” Carmen zooms in as Dwight mutters more nonsense. “Yeah. She was with Roy, and uh, I just couldn’t take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. And then weird stuff, like, food had no taste.”

Brian swallows, suddenly hypervigilant as he struggles to breathe and focus. 

“So my solution was to move away. It was awful. And it is something that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy... and that includes you.” 

It’s the first decent thing Jim’s done, in Brian’s opinion. He sits there for another moment as Dwight cries silently, then he stands and exits the stairwell. Carmen and Brian hasten to follow him as he goes to reception and kisses Pam on the mouth, the first PDA they’ve ever had in front of the rest of the office. 

Brian thinks it might be the worst moment of his life when Pam beams back at him, but then Dwight comes in and shoves all of Jim’s stuff off of his desk, then picks up his phone to make a sales call. He’s not quite recovered, but he’s bouncing back. And watching Dwight, Brian thinks maybe he’ll be okay. 

“Jim’s just... passionate about Italian food,” Pam explains later, beaming as usual when Brian asks her about the kiss. 

“Yeah, I’m passionate about Italian food,” Jim concurs in his interview. “In fact, I’m in love with Italian food.” 

Brian lay in bed that night, unable to sleep for the sixth night in a row, wondering if it’s ever going to get better for him.

\---

He draws the short stick the night Michael, Dwight, and Pam stay overnight at the office to work on Michael’s commercial. 

Earlier in the day, Michael had begged Wallace to let him shoot and edit his own video, and even though there was a certain Michael-ness to the entire thing, the commercial itself doesn’t sound too bad. Brian assists in some of the sound mixing, helping Michael record a voiceover, but at 8PM, he leaves Michael to his own devices. 

Everyone else left hours ago, even Jim, who had reluctantly accepted a ride from Meredith. At 8:30, Joe approaches Brian. 

“You mind staying here in case something happens?” he asks, pointing at the camera. “I told Shelly I’d take her out tonight.”

“Yeah, sure,” Brian says. “Just press record, right?” 

He’s joking, of course. He has a background in camera work that is more extensive than Carmen’s. 

“Thanks, man. I owe you one.” 

Once he’s gone, Brian goes to brew another pot of coffee. Pam’s yawning as she stares intently at her computer screen, and Dwight is standing guard outside Michael’s office, as if fending him from attacks. Brian’s a little surprised at Michael’s dedication: usually when Michael has a deadline, he does everything he can to avoid it. 

“Here,” he says, placing Pam's pink mug filled with coffee on her desk beside her. “You look like you need it.” 

“Oh--thanks, Brian!” she says in surprise, tearing her eyes from her screen. He dumps a handful of sugars, sweeteners, and little cups of cream next to the cup.

“Sorry, I don’t know how you take your coffee,” he explains when she gives him a questioning look.

“Liar. You see everything,” she replies. 

He fights a smile as he stares her down, then slowly, he leans down and puts two sugars and one cream in her coffee. 

“See?” she says, sipping the drink. “It’s perfect.” 

He picks up his own coffee and sits on the couch next to reception, watching Dwight nod off sitting up at his desk.

“I’m sorry you have to stay tonight because of us,” Pam says as she drinks her coffee. 

“It’s fine, I didn’t have plans for tonight anyway,” Brian says, thinking of his depressing apartment and his ongoing battle with insomnia. 

“I feel like we haven’t really gotten to talk much since you got back,” she says, lowering her voice in case Dwight’s listening. “How are things going?”

“Things are good,” he answers. “But, um... we aren’t really supposed to be friends with you guys, you know that.”

“That’s stupid,” she says a bit louder. “You can’t spend this much time with the same people and not form relationships.”

“You just think that because you’ve been here for so long,” he replies, not unkindly. “Your boss thinks of you guys as a family, and your best friend, and now boyfriend, works here.”

She scrunches up her face. “So then what about you and me? We aren’t friends?”

He sighs, finding it difficult to meet her gaze. “Pam...”

“I know we aren’t officially allowed to be friends--”

“I could lose my job.”

“But you don’t even think of us that way?” she asks earnestly, because Pam’s always earnest about everything in her life. He thinks of the hand-drawn cards that are now sitting on a ledge in his living room, of the way he occasionally goes to Won Ton King just to relive that night, of the way his stomach swooped when she touched his arm. 

“It’s dangerous thinking,” he says. 

But she doesn’t seem offended; in fact, she seems heartened. “I understand,” she says, giving him a conspicuous wink and a smile. It kills him just a little bit, but mostly, it makes him feel a little safer.

If she’d been paying him any attention at all, she would’ve seen it written all over his face, he’s certain of that. He’s in no real danger of Pam figuring out his feelings.

Around midnight, Dwight makes a fort of sorts out of the couch and couch cushions, falling asleep splayed out and drooling. After getting some shots of this scene (mostly for posterity), Brian sits in the armchair beside Michael’s office, facing Pam’s desk as she works in the dim glow of the computer screen. He has the camera in his lap, just in case, but he falls asleep around 2AM. 

When he wakes, it’s a quarter to six. Michael is still working on the edits, and Dwight is snoring in his couch fort. Brian stretches and sets the camera on the floor, wondering if Pam drove home, but when he stands up, he finds her asleep on a stack of binders. 

He heads back into the film closet to start getting his sound equipment ready for the day, as the rest of the crew is bound to come trickling in over the next hour. Sure enough, each of them slip past Dwight and Pam surreptitiously so as not to wake them.

Jim brings her breakfast and calls the reception phone to wake her up. She’s disheveled and exhausted as she tells the camera, “I worked until about 2:45, and then I had to decide if I wanted to spend the night with Michael editing in his office and Dwight watching Michael edit in his office, or drive home and probably fall asleep at the wheel and die in a fiery car wreck. I passed out on my keyboard trying to decide.”

She neglects to mention that Brian was with her all night, supplying coffee and insisting they weren’t friends. Perhaps she thinks that’s part of whatever understanding she believes they’ve struck: lying to the rest of the crew. 

David Wallace rejects the commercial, which turns out to be a mistake; Brian rather likes it. Especially Pam’s animation.

\---

It turns out Karen is now the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Utica. When Stanley tries to transfer to her office, Michael and Dwight trick Jim into pranking her. The whole thing makes Jim come off as kind of a jerk, 

Meanwhile, Pam participates in The Finer Things Club. It involves Toby, so it’s pretty boring.

\---

Out of jealousy over a camping retreat that Ryan didn’t invite him to, Michael goes into the woods to prove... something. It’s convoluted, as usual, but the upshot is that he leaves Jim in charge. And Jim, being a lazy sort of fellow, has the bright idea to roll all of the November birthday parties into one big one. Even Pam opposes him on it, and it doesn’t go over too well.

The whole experience seems to make Jim realize that he’s on a fast track to becoming Michael, but as usual, it’s not exactly a harbinger of change. Jim is a creature of habit, he likes his routines, and that will always trump any fear of turning into Michael Scott.

\---

Then there’s a ping-pong competition between Jim and Darryl, which is really a trash-talking competition between Pam and Kelly. 

The only entertaining part of the entire thing is when Jim plays against Dwight. 

Brian sort of wishes he’d gone to Michael and Jan’s deposition instead.

\---

The crew is forced to stay late with the staff when they have to work late one Friday night, but it turns out that the overtime was an elaborate plot by Michael to trick Jim and Pam into having dinner at his house. 

It promises to be entertaining, because Angela and Andy are invited too, and Dwight is determined to make an appearance.

This is the first time Brian is really exposed to Jan and Michael as a couple, and they’re pretty terrifying. Not only is Jan convinced Pam and Michael have a history, but she also seems to have some sort of fixation on Jim. Between Jan’s violent outbursts, Andy’s determination to ingratiate himself to everyone, and Dwight showing up with his babysitter-slash-date, the whole night is an exercise in dysfunction.

Pam ends up in the bathroom, whispering to Brian and Carmen, “I know Jan didn’t poison the food, I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn’t it be me? Michael’s former lover?” The whole fiasco ends with Michael breaking up with Jan.

So, it’s that kind of night. So much happens that Brian sort of forgets his problems for a while. 

\---

When Pam sets Michael up with her landlady, she realizes she’ll probably have to find a new place to live. Jim jokes about having her move in with him, but she tells him seriously, “I’m not gonna move in with anyone unless I’m engaged.”

Jim tells her a proposal is coming soon, but Pam is skeptical, as is Brian... until they interview Jim later. “I am not kidding,” he says, pulling out a ring box and revealing the ring. “I got it the week after we started dating.”

“You should get out there and meet people,” Carmen says after the conference room is vacated. They’re packing up their equipment for the day, and Brian freezes with the boom in his hands. 

“What?”

“You’re spending all your time here, watching her be happy with someone else, and even if she wasn’t with him, you wouldn’t be allowed to date her,” Carmen says. “It’s... kinda pathetic, man. You live here now, you should try to meet other people, people outside of this office.” 

He disassembles the boom mic silently, contemplating what she just said. 

“You should think about it. Maybe ask Joe if Shelly has any cute friends. You gotta break this cycle, otherwise you’re never gonna be happy.”

He knows what she’s saying: Pam and Jim are forever, nothing is going to break those two up, he’s going to propose, she’s going to accept, and they’ll live happily ever after. Brian can either decide to move on, or continue to live in this unhappy scenario he’s created for himself.

Because that’s the thing, he knows this is all his own doing. Pam didn’t lead him on, and he’s doing everything he can to hide his feelings from her. This isn’t some absurd triangle where Jim is Roy and Brian is Jim. If anything, Brian is Toby, someone Pam sees as harmless and asexual. 

It takes realizing that he has something in common with Toby for Brian to ask Joe if Shelly has any single girl friends. 

\---

Pam and Jim get themselves into some trouble when Jim convinces everyone to stay late to avoid having to come in on a Saturday. It gets them all locked in the building but out of their office, even the film crew. 

Toby touches Pam’s leg, then announces he’s moving to Costa Rica and climbs over the fence. 

It’s really late, though, so Brian’s not 100% sure that it actually happened.

\---

Joe follows Andy, Jim, and Kevin on a sales call to a golf course, leaving Carmen and Brian to follow Pam, Oscar, Darryl, and Michael to a job fair at a local high school. 

“So many memories in this old gym,” Pam tells Brian. “Pretending to have PMS to get out of playing volleyball. Pretending to have PMS to get out of playing basketball. Those were the days.” She takes the crew to her old art room to grab a piece of paper, but Michael sends her all the way back to the office for official Dunder Mifflin paper. 

After she gets back, Pam stops by the booth for Creative Impulsive Design, expressing an interest in a graphic design job. It doesn’t take long for her to realize that she’s underqualified for the job, as she doesn’t have any technical experience with any of the programs. “If you’re really serious about graphic design, I would think about New York or Philadelphia. They’ve got amazing programs out there for design,” the guy suggests.

She’s quiet for the rest of the day, until she gets back to the office and sees a triumphant Jim, who signed his client.

That evening, Brian has a date with Chloe, one of Shelly’s friends. Chloe is gorgeous, with chin-length black hair, high cheekbones, and olive skin. Brian wonders why she’s still single, but they haven’t even ordered appetizers before he hears the story of how she caught her boyfriend of nine years cheating on her. That was only two months ago. 

By the time the entrees come, Brian and Chloe are airing their romantic woes. 

“So she’s in love with another guy, but you couldn’t date her even if she was single,” Chloe recaps as she spears a tomato with her fork. “That’s... pretty sad.”

“Thanks,” Brian grins. 

“And you really haven’t thought about telling her? I mean, you never know.”

He chuckles. “Ah, but I do know. I know she only has eyes for him, and I know that she’s never thought of me as anything more than a friend.”

Chloe shakes her head. “It’s so crazy. I couldn’t even get my boyfriend to propose to me, much less stay faithful. And yet this guy was ready to propose to the girl you love after only one week.”

“What--no, I never said I loved her,” Brian blurts. 

Chloe narrows her eyes. “Don’t you, though?”

“No.” He looks down at his plate, trying to convince himself it’s true. “No, I don’t--I don’t love her, I don’t even...” 

Chloe gives him a knowing smile. “I’m still in love with my ex, you know. He’s a bastard and he cheated on me, with a stripper no less, but... those feelings don’t just go away. There are mornings when I wake up and expect him to be in bed next to me, and it takes me a minute to remember... and I relive the entire thing all over again.” She sighs. “Obviously, neither of us are ready to date. But this was fun, the most fun I’ve had since I found him in our bed, and I think we should do it again.”

He smiles. “Yeah, we should.”

And even if he failed to find romance, it’s refreshing to have a friend outside of work, someone who is able to listen to his problems with an outsider’s perspective. 

\---

Pam gets into the Pratt School of Design rather quickly, considering how long those things usually take. She finds out on Toby’s last day (because apparently he really is moving to Costa Rica) and tells Jim the good news in the breakroom. 

“So you know that means I have to go to New York for three months,” she says haltingly. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Jim says, and Brian has to give him props for being so easygoing about it. “I’ll come visit you, and you’ll visit me. It’s only two hours away, it’ll be fine.” 

“So, congratulations are in order,” Brian says to Pam during her interview. “How do you feel about leaving for three months?”

“I wouldn’t go if things weren’t so solid with Jim,” she says. “And down the road, if we had a family, I couldn’t go then either. So, the timing is perfect... and that is the first time I’ve ever used the word ‘perfect’ in here!” 

Meanwhile, Michael develops a fascination with Toby’s replacement, a tiny blonde woman named Holly, and Jim is butting heads with Ryan, who has made it clear over the past few months that he doesn’t like Jim. 

Michael asks for Jim’s advice on how to woo Holly, which makes Jim reflect on all that time he spent crushing on Pam. He pays Phyllis, who has taken over party-planning duties, to buy some fireworks for the party, then he sits down with the camera crew. 

What he says makes Brian’s blood turn cold: “I am going to propose tonight.”

He doesn’t have much time to focus on it, though, because they have to clear out for Toby’ exit interview, which is interrupted by the news of Ryan’s arrest in New York. 

“Well, this is what happened,” Oscar explains. “Ryan’s big project was the website, which wasn’t doing so well, so Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice, once as office sales and once as website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as ‘misleading the shareholders.’ Another good term is ‘fraud.’ The real crime, I think, was the beard.”

Just as everyone’s getting over that bombshell, Phyllis’ party is starting in the parking lot. Pam and Jim survey the transformation--there’s a ferris wheel and fireworks, Phyllis went all out--and Pam sees something in Jim’s expression that makes her suspicious. 

“Is Jim gonna propose tonight?” she asks Brian as Carmen films. Brian holds onto the boom like a lifeline as Pam continues, “He is, isn’t he? No, he’s not. Is he?”

They don’t answer her, and Pam’s not as good at reading Brian’s face as she is at reading Jim’s. 

Darryl’s band plays as the sun sets, creating a romantic glow that’s felt by everyone... including Andy, who interrupts the music just as Jim’s starting to propose to Pam, and asks Angela to marry him.

Pam’s visibly upset later as she takes pictures with Toby. “I don’t know, I just, I really thought Jim was gonna propose tonight,” she says to the crew, disappointed.

The crazy thing is, Brian doesn’t have any desire to feed Pam’s paranoia. All he wants to do is reassure her that Jim had every intention of asking her to marry him, just to get that troubled look off her face. 

He can’t even get unrequited love right.

\---

The next week, the office begins their eight-week weight loss competition with all of the other Dunder Mifflin branches. At their weigh-in, Dwight forces Pam off the scale since she’s leaving for New York next week, which is how everyone finds out Pam weighs 226 pounds... according to Kevin... who is an accountant. 

“You know, I’d love to go to New York for three months,” Carmen tells Brian in confidence as they eat their lunch. “I want this assignment.” 

“You can go without me,” Brian says. “Ask Joe if you can take Quin.”

“You know Joe will want you there too, we do the best work together,” Carmen says impatiently. “Besides, don’t you think he’ll start asking questions? Everyone knows you and Pam are friendly, he’ll think it’s weird that you won’t want to go with her.”

“You know why I can’t go.”

Carmen rolls her eyes. “What is it about her, anyway? You, Jim, Roy, Toby, Ryan, even Michael hits on her. What’s so special about her?”

Brian evades the question. “I don’t know.” 

“Well, you should man up and take the assignment. The city will be a nice distraction from all of this.” 

She has a point. Sometimes Brian finds Scranton to be suffocating, he’s not used to being in one place for so long. Even if his assignment will be to follow Pam, at least it’ll be someplace different, with lots to offer by way of distraction. 

He texts Chloe that night, letting her know about his decision.

_Well it sucks that I won’t see you for three months. Call me anytime you want to talk._

He texts back, You do the same. Just the other night, she’d called him just before midnight because her ex had drunk-dialed her and begged her to take him back. They were on the phone for two hours, until Chloe had gotten over the urge to get back together with him.

The next morning, he finds Carmen in the film storage closet, cleaning and prepping her camera for the day. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll go to New York with you.”

Carmen grins. “I knew you would.”


	5. I Can Write a Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." 
> 
> A LOT of Pam stuff happened in Season 5, so I apologize for the length of this. That's what she said. But it's also my favorite chapter, so in a way, I don't apologize.

“So you’re coming?” 

Pam’s standing at Meredith’s desk, watching as Brian packs up his sound equipment for the trip to New York.

“Yep. I will be there to witness all of your triumphs and invade your privacy even more than I already do,” Brian says lightly, as if this is just routine, as if spending his summer following Pam was exactly what he wanted to be doing. 

“This is great!” she says brightly, beaming at him the way she beams at--no, that’s dangerous thinking. Pam’s just prone to beaming, that’s all. “This whole time I was thinking how scary it’ll be in the city all by myself, but now there will be a friendly face!”

“Oh--no, Pam--” he starts, but he’s interrupted by the commotion of Dwight emerging from the breakroom, laden with all the junk food that used to inhabit the vending machines. 

“Dwight!” Pam calls. “What are you doing?”

“Dispensing of the junk.” Dwight gives her a withering glare. “What do you care, you’re leaving today.”

“You can’t just throw that stuff out, people are gonna get mad!” Pam yells, chasing after him as he heads for the office door, presumably in the direction of the dumpster. 

“Wait--Pam!” Brian calls after her, but she doesn’t hear him over Dwight’s shouts about obesity and laziness. He doesn’t get a chance to tell her... what, exactly? Sometimes it feels like Pam has this perception of Brian in her mind that doesn’t quite match to his real personality. 

She does her interview early in the workday, as she’s leaving around lunchtime straight from the office. “Tomorrow I start a three-month design program at the Pratt Institute in New York. I will be a little fish in the Big Apple. What up, two-one-two!” she says, accompanied with dorky hand signs.

Everyone has their own version of saying goodbye to Pam. Michael’s is the most affecting, apparently he wrote a poem, “The last word is ‘seagulls,’” and he falls down the stairs in his rush to say goodbye. Dwight’s farewell, though, is Brian’s favorite: “If I don’t see you again, goodbye. Well actually, I’ll see you when you give me the fax confirmation, so never mind.”

They stop Jim after he sees Pam off and Brian asks why Jim hasn’t proposed yet. “Pam and I talked about it, and we just decided that we didn’t want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart. And Pam’s always said she doesn’t want a long engagement. Something in her past, I guess. I’m not really sure of the whole story, but something about a guy that used to work here...” Jim trails off and grins smugly into the camera. 

Maybe he’s smug. Brian’s not sure he’s got an unbiased opinion of Jim anymore. This break is coming at a great time.

\---

Pam moves into a dorm, and she gives them her class schedule that evening. She starts out by going to the wrong class; Brian and Carmen were so intent on following her across the crowded campus that they hadn’t noticed she had entered the wrong classroom. She ends up stuck in Expressive Typography in New Media for the duration of the lecture.

\---

She becomes a Resident Advisor during her second week, procuring a private dorm for herself, which she’s excited about as she interviews with Brian and Carmen in the lobby of her building. They continue to follow her to her classes, where she takes diligent notes and works hard, but while it’s nice to see Pam engaged and excited, it doesn’t make for interesting viewing.

\---

Jim comes to visit in late July, just as Pam’s getting settled in. They catch him in the hall as he’s heading to Pam’s room, but he tricks them and locks them out, keeping them from getting any useful interview footage from either of them. Brian sighs in frustration.

\---

In early August, Brian catches Pam in the lobby of her dormitory. “Where are you going? You don’t have class until four.”

“Jim just asked me to meet him at a gas station halfway between here and Scranton,” she explains hurriedly. “I have to be there by one if I want to make it back here in time.”

“Did he say why?” Brian asks, pulling out his phone to text Carmen to pull her car around as he follows Pam outside into the rain.

“I think he just misses me,” she explains. “I didn’t really ask why, but he wanted me to go, so I did.”

“Here, take this,” he says, wrapping his hand around her wrist to stop her forward motion. He presses a mic pack into her open palm. “Make sure it’s on before you get there.”

She looks down at his hand around her wrist, and he releases her, blushing a bit--but she’s still staring down at her hand, at the mic pack. “Look, if it’s personal stuff, we’ll cut it out. But the studio is starving for more stuff between you guys, so I don’t want to miss something with potential.”

“Okay.” She gives him a half-smile. “I’m trusting you.”

“What exit?” Brian calls after her, in case Carmen doesn’t get here in time.

“17. Jim swears it’s the halfway point, but I think I’m gonna end up doing more of the driving.” And with a small wave, she’s gone.

\---

They hear the entire thing through Pam’s mic, despite the highway traffic and driving rain. He gets down on one knee, opens the box, and asks her to marry him. 

Brian looks away as she answers, keeps his eyes on the sound levels when they kiss, tries to tell himself that it’s not the end of the world, it’s just another chapter of the story, and he’ll find someone else to love tomorrow, it’ll be that easy. 

There’s no howl in his chest as he and Carmen drive back to the city in silence. It’s not like he lost something real, he didn’t even lose a possibility. She was never a possibility for him.

\---

**2:28AM:** _She’s engaged._

**2:29AM:** _Engaged isn’t married._

(“BFD, engaged ain’t married,” weren’t those Michael’s exact words to Jim when Roy re-proposed? Oh God, is Brian turning into Jim?)

**2:31AM:** _It is with these two. They just fit together._

**2:35AM:** _Maybe. Or maybe you think they do because you’re too scared to think about what it would be like to have everything._

**2:52AM:** _I’m right about this._

\---

Michael finds out Jim and Pam are engaged (“To be married?”) in early September. “He tackled Jim,” Pam says laughingly in her interview. “I felt really bad. Anyway, are you guys coming to my design class?”

Brian and Carmen haven’t told Pam how little of her footage makes it into their final cuts for the studio. For some reason, the bosses have no interest in her unless she’s interacting with Jim, so Carmen and Brian have been recording over her previous day’s footage to save space. “Yeah!” Brian says brightly, as Carmen nods half-heartedly. 

Graphic design is pretty boring.

\---

The camera is rolling when Sarikaya throws Stacy’s Mi-Tiente pad at the light box in Pam’s G-Tech class. It’s this whole big thing about reserved seats and anger issues, and it’s the talk of campus for nearly a week. Pam tries to tell the story to Jim over the phone before her DigiCrit class, but he doesn’t seem to be grasping it. 

(And yet, that footage is still not deemed “interesting” by the studio. Or Joe. Brian’s beginning to wonder why he’s even in New York.)

Later that day, they follow Pam to the laundromat, not because it seems like a fun place to get great footage, but because Pam asks Brian to come along “for protection.” Brian’s not sure how much damage he can do with a boom mic if she were to be attacked, but he’d never forgive himself if something happened to Pam at the laundromat after she asked for his help, so he and Carmen continue the charade.

Luckily, a phone call from Jim validates the entire trip, even if it ends prematurely, since Pam can’t hear him over the sound of the machines. 

“You seem a little frustrated,” Brian says gently to Pam as she folds clothes. 

“I’m not frustrated. Even if I were in Scranton, Jim and I would have days like this. We’re just a little out of sync. You know. That’s all.” She pulls out a green towel, which is smeared with red. “Oh, I washed my lipstick. That’s great,” she says, and she really does seem frayed around the edges.

She leaves Jim a voicemail as she’s heading back to her dorm. 

\---

When she runs out of money, Pam takes a part-time job at the corporate office at Dunder Mifflin, giving Brian and Carmen more opportunities to film her, but not many. 

She goes out with Alex and a couple other friends on a Thursday night, where she does shots and gets wasted. Brian doesn’t really trust Alex, but he also doesn’t trust himself, so why does it matter how Pam forms her own relationships? He and Carmen follow her out to the bar, filming equipment in tow, but Carmen goes back to the hotel around midnight, bored out of her mind. 

It’s 4AM when Pam finally starts heading toward her dorm. Alex heads in the opposite direction, hailing a cab, too drunk to focus on Pam. Brian, being the overprotective sort, waits until Alex is around the corner before approaching Pam. “Hey,” he says, touching her shoulder tentatively.

She spins around and squeals, “Brian!” and throws her arms wide, making to hug him, but he holds her at arm’s length. 

“Ah--right,” she says, swaying on the spot. “You’re not allowed to be friends with me.” 

“Let’s... get you a cab,” Brian says, shouldering his sound pack and putting his arm gingerly around her shoulders. 

He finds a cab relatively quickly, pushing Pam in and giving the cabbie the address to her dorm, but there’s a tugging on his sleeve and he realizes she’s trying to pull him in with her.

“No--Pam, this is your cab, my hotel is in the other direction--” he starts to explain, his heart pounding in his chest as she stares up at him with wide, glassy eyes. 

“Why are you so scared of me? Hey, this guy is scared of me!” she shouts to the cabbie. “Do I seem scary to you? He always acts like I have leprosy or something...”

“The meter’s running,” the uninterested cabbie tells Brian, who relents and climbs in with her.

“Shh, Pam, you’re yelling,” Brian says, pulling off his pack as the cab starts moving. 

“How about I’ll stop yelling when you stop being mean to me?” Pam whispers conspiratorially, giggling a little bit at her own compromise. 

He can’t resist a smile. “You’ve already stopped yelling, though.”

That stumps her for a moment. “Okay. Fine. Be mean to me. I just wanted to be your friend.”

“You want to be everyone’s friend.” Brian sounds tired even to himself. 

“That’s not true!” she hiccups. “I didn’t want to be Jim’s friend!” She follows this with another drunken giggle.

He laughs, because what else can he do? “You got me there.” His hands are clammy as he looks at her closely; she appears to be having trouble focusing, and he suspects she’s at the stage where she won’t remember this in the morning. He’s in a very dangerous spot, it’s the kind of situation that defines who you are as a man. “You don’t like it when people don’t like you,” he says slowly.

She shakes her head somberly, her eyes focused on his but not really seeing. “No.”

“I like you, Pam,” he says softly. “You don’t have to worry about that... ever. Okay?”

She’s appeased, in her drunken, addled state. She snuggles into the seat beside him, not against his arm, but close enough that he can imagine it if he wants to. He’d like to say he doesn’t, but as he leans his head back against the seat, he lets his mind wander, lets himself think of what it would be like to be going home with her. “I like being secret friends with you, Brian,” she mutters sleepily.

He sighs, hating himself for falling into this mess with her again. “I like it too,” he lies, or maybe it’s the truth. Maybe he just likes being miserable. 

\---

She remembers nothing. She asks Brian how she got home, which means she doesn’t recall him helping her up the stairs, shushing her in the hallway, and fumbling to unlock her door as quietly as possible. She doesn’t remember kicking off her shoes and telling Brian he could sleep on the floor if he wanted to. She doesn’t remember the cab ride or the conversation.

He’s relieved.

Really. ‘Relieved’ is the word to describe how he’s feeling.

\---

Jim and Pam’s engagement lunch with his brothers brings everything full-circle again. If Brian’s always found Jim a little douchey and arrogant, he’s nothing compared to his brothers. 

At least their footage is usable, for the first time in a long time.

\---

Brian finds himself legitimately upset, even outraged, on Jim’s behalf when Alex comes to visit Pam at work. He knows Jim can hear the entire conversation over Pam’s BlueTooth, thank God, or else Brian might have actually phoned Jim himself, and what a mess that would’ve been.

Alex is already acting cagey when he first sees Pam, giving Brian and Carmen a suspicious glance before coaxing Pam out of the office and away from the prying eyes of her coworkers. Brian suspects Alex doesn’t know she’s mic’d up, and he’s certain Alex doesn’t know about the BlueTooth in her ear, so really, the coworkers are the least of his concern.

“I wanna take a big leap,” he says, once he thinks they’re alone, but Pam’s crossing her arms and hunching her shoulders, a stance Brian hasn’t seen her strike since she was dating Roy. “And I wanna tell you that I think you should not move back to Scranton.”

Brian’s a little dismayed, but really, Alex has been a snake in the grass from the get-go. Doesn’t he know, when you have a crush on Pam, that you’re supposed to bottle your feelings and pretend they don’t exist, choosing simply to watch her from afar? Clearly this guy is brand new.

“Wow,” Pam says, speechless, but Brian can hear Jim over the Bluetooth, “I’m gonna make a bigger leap here. He is into you.” 

It’s been pretty obvious, but at least Jim’s finally catching on. 

Alex is only getting started. “Why did you come to New York in the first place?”

Pam’s brow furrows, as if she thinks he’s asking dumb questions. “Because they have a great design program, and I wanted to see if I was any good at it. And I wanted to work on my art, too.”

“Right. And that’s why I think you should stay here. Because really, you just got here. You know, you can’t do New York in three months, it has everything. All the opportunity is here, the art scene is in New York. It’d be nuts to go back to Scranton without getting to fully experience it.”

He’s good, Brian thinks. He’s really good, playing on her weakness, her fear of going back to Scranton and missing out on something, or going back to being old Pammy, like New York never happened. He’s so good that he makes Pam’s argument seem silly: “Jim’s in Scranton.” 

“I know,” Alex says, blowing past it, because Jim doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of art, not to Alex. “All I’m saying is, if there’s even a teeny tiny part of you that really wants to be an artist, then I think you should stay here, because you don’t wanna wake up in fifty years and look back and wonder what could’ve been.” 

Pam’s visibly shaken by the conversation, and judging by the silence coming out of Brian’s headset, Jim is similarly affected. He strains to listen, but only hears Dwight asking Jim about the BlueTooth. As far as he can tell, even though they spend the remainder of the workday on the phone, Pam and Jim don’t discuss what just happened. 

They follow Pam out to dinner with some of her friends, including Alex, who tactfully doesn’t bring up his visit to her office earlier in the day. Pam chooses to walk back to her dorm, since Brian and Carmen are following her, wordlessly waiting for reactions to her conversation even if they know she’s not going to give them. 

They split up in the lobby, Carmen bowing out for a dinner date with an old friend in Brooklyn, and Brian’s left packing up his sound equipment as well as Carmen’s camera for the ride back to the hotel. He thought Pam was headed upstairs, but a moment later, the elevator dings and she comes off again. 

“Hey,” she says tentatively. “Do you have a minute?”

He glances at his watch, then remembers it’s broken. It was his dad’s watch, a chunky silver one with a black face, and he’s forever replacing the battery on it. He finds a clock instead and says, “Not really, I have to get back...”

“I just...” she hesitates, wringing her hands as she takes cautious steps toward him. “You... you’ve been here the whole time. I don’t really feel like I can talk to Jim about this.”

His curiosity gets the better of him: since when could she not talk to Jim about stuff? He’s her best friend. “Uh... why not?”

“Because,” she throws her hands up and sinks onto the couch beside his bag. “He’d tell me to stay, even if it killed him. He’s too afraid of becoming...” she trails off and looks a little... frightened?

“Of becoming Roy,” Brian says, moving the bag to sit beside her. 

She nods, blinking back tears. “He’d never tell me not to follow my dreams, but this is harder than I thought, Brian. I don’t like being apart from him, I’m happy with him...” 

“Yeah,” he says quietly, awkwardly, because it seems like she needs a hug or a platonic arm-around-the-shoulder thing, but it doesn’t seem appropriate, so Brian clutches his bag in his lap. 

“But I’m so scared that I’m gonna... choose Jim, I guess, and wake up in fifty years and regret everything...” She bursts into tears.

“Hey, Pam, look,” he says, steeling himself, not touching her despite how much he wants to. “I’m about to break every single professional rule right now, so listen to me.” She looks up, wiping her eyes and sniffling a bit. “I _have_ been here the whole time, and I can tell you, without reservation: Alex has a crush on you.”

She looks away, embarrassed, ashamed, but Brian soldiers on. 

“He might be right about the art scene and all that stuff, I have no idea. But his personal motivation, to get you to stay, is to keep you apart from Jim so that he has more time with you. You can’t base this decision on what one guy said, Pam, especially not when he thinks he can... I don’t know, steal you.” He uses air quotes for the word ‘steal,’ because people don’t get stolen unless they’re kidnapped, but he can’t think of a better word at the moment.

“I didn’t mean to--” she starts, alarmed.

“No, you didn’t lead him on,” Brian says, holding up his hands. “But he’s the one who made this an art-versus-Jim decision, and it’s not. You can be an artist anywhere, you’ve said that yourself a hundred times. If you want to be an artist in New York, you know deep down that it doesn’t mean you’re choosing art over Jim. And it works the other way, too.” 

She’s looking at him with such overwhelming gratitude that he starts to think he’s losing control over this situation. There was clear demarcation before she came back downstairs, and now they’ve gone and blurred the lines all over again, so he sits back and does his best Alex impression: “And that is the end of my speech. I planned it all.” 

She laughs, more tears spilling over. “Thanks, Brian. You... certainly don’t mince words.” 

He grins, nudges her with his elbow, because he’s not a robot, and says, “And a word to the wise, unless you want Jim to punch Alex, I say you cool it a bit with that guy. Maybe hang out with Stacy or some of your girlfriends for a while.”

They both stand up, but Brian grabs his pack and shoulders it, creating an anti-hugging buffer, because he remembers Pam hugging Jim when she was drunk, remembers her hugging Michael when he came to her art show, and Brian can’t have any of that. She gets the message, too, because she only ducks her head slightly and says, “I’ll take that into consideration.”

“And if you tell anyone that I talked to you about this, I’ll deny it,” he says, picking up the camera. 

Pam rolls her eyes. “I’m not an idiot.” 

He watches until the elevator doors close on her, then lets out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

\---

Pam only has one week left when she gets the bad news. It’s a blustery day in mid-November, and Brian’s getting over a cold, so standing outside her advisor’s building isn’t high on the list of things he’d rather be doing today. 

But she comes out crying and furiously dialing Jim’s number, and Brian scrambles over to pick up the sound with his boom mic since he hadn’t made her take a mic pack into her meeting. 

It turns out she’s failing one of her digital design classes, which is required for her to receive her certification. “I hate computers!” she bursts out.

They don’t hear what Jim says, but Pam’s reply is, “I have to stay and retake it.”

Carmen stands up to get a better shot of Pam’s face, while Brian feels his stomach drop. Looks like Alex might get another three months of Pam after all.

“That means another twelve weeks,” Pam is saying. “Can you do another three months of this?”

And they don’t need to hear Jim’s response to know what he’s saying: go chase your dream, everything’s fine, it’ll be great. But Pam’s sinking onto a bench, fighting tears as she says, “Right,” then fakes a dying cell battery to get off the phone with him before she bursts into tears. She sits on that bench for another ten minutes, trying to compose herself as she ignores her shadows. 

She ends up wandering around the city until dark, walking aimlessly, not stopping anywhere. Finally, she heads back to her dorm, but she stops them in the lobby. “I just need to be alone, you guys. I’ll let you know my decision in the morning, just... let me be alone.”

But she gives Brian a significant glance before she turns for the elevators, and implicitly, he knows what she wants. 

Unfortunately, the glance isn’t lost on Carmen, who notices Brian hesitating in the lobby after Pam disappears. “You’re getting too close,” she warns in an undertone. 

“I’m being careful,” he says diplomatically, but that isn’t true anymore, is it?

“I’m not covering for your ass if something happens,” Carmen says bluntly, but that’s not true either. She gives him an exasperated look before heading back out into the night. 

Pam reappears five minutes later, just when Brian’s about to call it a night, figuring he’d misunderstood her expression. She looks relieved to find him lounging in an armchair, watching Monday Night Football with his hands resting on his stomach. He doesn’t sit up as she approaches; he’s wary, considering she has the wild look and gait of a caged animal. She sits on the couch, her elbows resting on her knees. 

“Who’s winning?” she asks.

“The 49ers,” Brian answers, returning his attention to the TV as Kurt Warner huddles up with his offense. 

He feels her watching him as they sit in silence for the next five minutes. The Cardinals end up scoring a field goal, and the 49ers have the ball back before Pam speaks again.

“That’s a nice watch.”

He glances down at his wrist. “Thanks. It was my dad’s. It’s not working right now, though.” He fiddles with the clasp absently. “The battery needs replacing.”

“I can get it replaced for you,” she says. “I actually know a guy, in Scranton. He’s always fixing my watch, he’d cut me a deal if I told him it was Jim’s.”

Brian only looks at her. 

She turns her gaze to the TV, still sitting forward, ready to jump up and run in whichever direction Brian sends her.

The game returns from commercial, and the Cards have the ball again. “Who are you going for?” she asks after a screen pass falls incomplete.

“Honestly? I’m a Patriots fan, so I don’t care about this game,” Brian says. 

Pam gives him a tight smile. “The only football I know is from when I dated Roy. He was an Eagles fan. Michael Vick is about all I remember.” She pauses, takes a deep breath. “Jim’s more of a basketball guy.” 

Brian chooses to just look at her again. She looks between him and the TV for a moment, then stares down at her hands. 

“You’re not here to talk about football, or my watch,” Brian says. 

“No.”

“What do you want, Pam?”

“I don’t know.” 

He knows what she wants: an answer. For someone to tell her what she should do. Not only would it go against his job description to push her one way or the other, but Brian’s not the sort of person who likes to make decisions for other people. He may think he knows what’s best for Pam, but only she can answer that question for herself.

“You know, I went to UCLA for creative writing,” Brian says conversationally. “I wanted to get as far away from my dad as possible. He wanted me to be a lawyer, like him, and I... wanted not to be my dad. It was the hardest thing I ever did, leaving all my friends and moving across the country. And I was miserable, Pam. I liked writing, but I was a shit writer.”

She laughs, watching him intently as he talks.

“I was three semesters in when I helped my roommate shoot a short film for his class, and I was done. I realized that... I was good at something, and I loved doing it, and then the decision was so easy. If I hadn’t made that wrong choice first, I might never have discovered my true passion.” He holds up his arm, showing her the watch. “Turns out, I had become my father. He loved being a prosecutor, and he was good at it. And even if he wasn’t wild about my choice in career, he was proud of me for finding my passion and chasing it. He died five years ago.” 

He feels the familiar stinging in his eyes that always accompanies any mention of his dad. The years of fights, of misunderstandings and clashing personalities, echo in his mind for a moment, before he comes to and remembers that it was all resolved, that he and his dad had a great relationship before he passed so suddenly.

Pam looks like she wants to comfort him somehow, but she’s not sure of the proper protocol. For once, the tables are turned, but Brian’s grateful for her space. She clears her throat and asks, “What are you telling me?”

“That... maybe... Jim is your passion,” Brian says, nearly choking on the words. “Maybe painting is your passion. Maybe computer animation or graphic design is your passion. You are the only one who can determine if you’ll be miserable. But after what I went through with my dad... I’d never presume to tell someone else how they should live their life.” 

She swallows hard, her eyes filled with tears. “I’m miserable in my classes, Brian. I feel dumb for not being able to understand these programs, they’re not interesting to me. I like painting, I like watercolors and oil pencils and painting fruit bowls and staplers.” 

She looks up at him earnestly, waiting for an answer that he’s refusing to give. 

“I’m just afraid. I’m afraid of Gil being right about me, that I’m not courageous or honest, and everyone’s gonna see that in my art. I’m afraid that if I go back, everyone will think I’m choosing Jim over... over myself.”

“You worry too much about what people think of you,” Brian says, remembering the cab ride that she’s forgotten.

She sits back, breathing hard from crying. “I’m really bad at graphic design, Brian. I don’t like it.”

They sit for another few moments as the first quarter comes to a close. Brian’s stomach grumbles loudly, and Pam glances at the clock on the wall. 

“I’ll let you go,” she says, standing up, but she’s not as twitchy as she was before, and her expression is marginally less tragic. “I know you’re still not feeling well, I’m sorry I kept you.” 

“It’s not a problem. I’d say it’s part of the job, but...” he trails off, giving her a small smile. 

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow afternoon,” she says. “Either for my 2 o’clock class, or... for my drive back to Scranton.” 

He texts Carmen to pack just in case, and Carmen asks if that means he talked her into going back. He chooses not to answer. 

The next day, they stroll into the lobby to find Pam standing at reception, surrounded by her luggage. She gives them both a bright smile and says, “I hope you’re ready for a road trip!”

Carmen leaves to pull the car around, and Pam takes that opportunity to approach Brian.

“I was serious about your watch,” Pam says, holding out her hand. “It’s the least I can do.”

And against his better judgement, Brian hands it over. 

\---

They get to Dunder Mifflin just before five, unsurprised that Pam’s gone straight to the office. They jump out of the car with their equipment just as Jim emerges from the building, surprised to find his beaming fiancee.

“I’m coming back the wrong way,” she says, straightening away from her car. Jim stands, frozen in surprise and bemusement. “It’s not because of you. I don’t like graphic design, that’s it.”

Jim starts walking toward her, smirking, and Pam yells, “Stop smiling! I really didn’t like it. It’s just designing logos and stuff. And I missed Scranton. But it is not because I missed you.”

Brian can’t help but feel jealous of Jim, of the pure joy radiating from him as he approaches Pam, who’s still talking. “I just really wanted to come home, and I know you said to come home the right way, but you can’t tell me what to do, got it?”

He’s standing right in front of her now, and he says, “I missed you,” and it’s enough to make Carmen melt even as she’s filming. 

Pam says, “I missed you too,” and they share a kiss that is interrupted by Dwight.

“You’re back.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Good.” Dwight pulls some papers from the stack under his arm. “I need you to make five copies of these.”

She glances down at the papers, then back up at Dwight. “I’m not going inside.”

“All right. First thing in the morning then.” And Dwight walks away, waving a greeting to Brian and Carmen as he passes.

\---

Brian sleeps with Chloe that night.

They talk about it beforehand, how they both just need the companionship, how neither of them are ready for relationships, how there are no romantic feelings between them.

They’re great together, though, and Brian’s grateful for the release, for the company. 

“This chick doesn’t know what she’s missing,” Chloe says sleepily as Brian pulls on his pants, because for all of their closeness, Brian still hasn’t shared Pam’s name. “You’re in my top five, easily.”

Top five isn’t bad for a complete lack of romantic feelings, so Brian counts it as a victory. 

\---

Apparently, he and Carmen missed a lot while they were in New York, and they find out about everything in this order:

1\. Jan had her baby, before the baby shower, and everyone found out it wasn’t Michael’s. 

2\. Michael and Holly had actually started dating, and were a very good couple by all accounts, until David Wallace found out about their relationship and transferred Holly to Nashua. Apparently they had been briefly engaged? Brian’s not completely sure about that story, since it came out during Kelly’s interview and she’s generally unreliable.

3\. Phyllis, who had caught Angela and Dwight having sex only an hour after Andy’s proposal, is now in charge of the Party Planning Committee. 

4\. Michael had hired Ryan to cover reception while Pam was gone. 

5\. Toby’s back from Costa Rica. 

(Unfortunately, since he doesn’t make it back to the annex very often, Michael doesn’t find out about Toby’s return until Pam’s first day back. His reaction is loud and negative. 

Brian likes Toby about as much as Michael likes Toby. He’d like to blame it on the way Toby mutters, or the fact that he just has a punchable face, but the truth is, Toby’s a constant reminder of what Brian could turn into if he’s here for another ten years. 

So honestly, he wishes Toby had stayed in Costa Rica, too.)

6\. Jim bought his parents house.

Since it’s after-hours, Brian and Carmen are joined by Joe and Tyler in covering Jim’s big reveal.

Pam’s speechless throughout the tour, just following Jim and taking everything in slowly. She seems completely overwhelmed, which Jim misreads when they end the tour in the garage-slash-art studio.

“Look, I know, I bought this without asking you,” he says nervously, “And it doesn’t look great, I know that. And if you really hate it, I totally understand, it’s just--”

“I love it,” Pam says quietly.

Jim’s shocked. “You do?”

“Yeah. I love it. You bought me a house!”

And as she hugs him, it’s clear from her expression that she knows she was right to come back. 

And Brian helped with that. He should be happy.

\---

Things get a little tense when there’s a surplus in this year’s budget.

Turns out Jim’s started doing his own copies ever since he started dating Pam, and he wants the copier replaced. But Pam wants new chairs, as she’s sick of sitting in the most uncomfortable chair in the office. “How is it possible that in five years, I’ve had two engagement rings and only one chair?”

Pam shows a bit of an edge, which she’s had since New York. It freaks out Jim.

By the end of the day, Pam gets her way.

\---

Just as things with Jim and Pam are calming down, things with Andy and Angela blow up.

At the Moroccan-themed Christmas party, Phyllis becomes so incensed by Angela that she blurts out, “Angela’s been having sex with Dwight!” to the party at large. Of course, the only person not present for that announcement is... Andy.

As usual, Pam gives the crew small Christmas gifts. This time they’re treated to gift certificates to the Steamtown Mall, and all of their cards are once again hand-drawn. 

She gives Brian his gift last, wordlessly, barely even looking at him before she goes back to her desk. His bag feels a little heavier than it should, so he waits until he’s alone in the film closet to open it. 

It’s his dad’s watch, ticking again. In the top of the box, Pam’s stuck a little hand-written note that reads: “Julian promises he’s fixed it so that the batteries don’t short out. If you have a problem with it again, just leave it on my desk. Thanks for being such a great friend. I couldn’t have done New York without you. -P”

\---

There’s a duel, of sorts, when Andy finds out about Angela and Dwight in mid-January. Dwight gets pressed against the shrubbery by Andy’s car, there’s a lot of shouting, and the whole staff watches in breathless anticipation. 

At the end of the day, Angela is single.

\---

Hillary Swank is hot. Brian can’t believe the office debates this point for six hours.

\---

In a way, Brian’s a little surprised it’s taken five years for Dwight to set a fire in the office.

Stanley ends up in the hospital, and Dwight and Michael are formally reprimanded by David Wallace. 

Pam’s going through something, though. Lately, she and Jim have been spending their lunches watching pirated movies with Andy, but on their first day of Mrs. Albert Hannaday, she keeps checking her phone, her brow furrowed. They’re both willing to share with the film crew, even though they don’t want their coworkers to know anything, so it’s under the strictest of confidences that they speak.

“My dad spent the night at our place last night,” Pam says with forced brightness. “My parents have been fighting for weeks, and... it kinda sucks. Jim’s been great, but I’m gonna need to buy my dad a robe.” 

Brian remembers talking to Pam, nearly three years ago, about how she wanted a marriage just like her parents. He wonders how she’s taking it so well, but he doesn’t get a chance to ask.

\---

The next day, they’re watching more of Mrs. Albert Hannaday with Andy (who hilariously mistakes Jim and Pam’s conversation as commentary on the movie) when Jim mentions that her dad was talkative at breakfast. 

“So he doesn’t share with his daughter, but he shares with his daughter’s fiance?” Pam asks. Andy gets a little belligerent, so they drop the conversation, but Brian notices Pam’s fiddling with her engagement ring. 

She corners Jim later as he’s getting coffee. “Did my dad say anything about my mom?”

“Nope, we mostly talked about cereal,” Jim says. After he finds Pam still staring at him, he asks, “What?”

“I don’t know, maybe he’ll talk to you about some of this stuff, because he can’t really talk to me about it,” she says quickly. 

It’s clear Jim’s not really into it, but it’s just as clear that it’s important to Pam, so he agrees. 

Two hours later, Pam gets a call from her mom, and it doesn’t appear to be a cheerful one. She goes tearing after Jim, who is getting yogurt from the fridge, and asks, “What did you say to my dad?”

“What?”

“After you talked, he called my mom and said he was gonna look for an apartment.”

“Oh my God,” Jim says, visibly alarmed. “Pam, I don’t know, I--nothing. Truly! Nothing, I mean, I just was honest with him and I--I’m so sorry, I don’t know. I’ll call him again!” 

Pam cocks her head in frustration, then walks away without another word, leaving Jim standing there miserably.

“Do you know what you might have said to Pam’s dad to prompt this?” Brian asks in their interview later that day. 

“No idea,” Jim says honestly. “I mean... fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, so... it was her parents or my parents.” He seems to feel bad about that joke immediately. 

Pam does her interview nearly an hour later, when Jim goes down to the warehouse to help Michael with something. “What could Jim have said to make my dad want to leave my mom? And at what point in our marriage is he gonna say it to me?”

She looks around the room wildly, but her eyes land on Brian, who has no answers for her. 

\---

The next day, Michael is MIA after his roast from the day before. Pam’s distracted and gloomy at reception, and Jim is walking on eggshells around her. She gets a phone call from her dad about mid-morning, and she agrees to talk to him. 

“Brian, do you mind if I...” She has her mic pack in her hands. 

He glances over at Joe, who gives him a curt nod. “Yeah, Pam. Sure. Just come back for it when you’re done,” he says, taking the pack from her. 

They still film her talking to her dad. And when she comes back upstairs, Jim’s still mic’d, and the microphones in the lobby pick up what his misses. 

“So what did he say? Was it my fault?” 

Pam’s face is grave, her eyes still red from crying. “Yeah.” 

Jim recoils. 

“He said that you told him how much you love me,” Pam says in a choked voice. “About how you feel when I walk in a room. About how you’ve never doubted for a second that I’m the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. I guess he’s never felt that with my mom, even at their best.” 

He visibly relaxes as she finishes. “You okay?”

She nods, half-smiling and half-crying as he swoops in to hug her. 

She gets her mic pack back from Brian, who asks for a quick interview. “Is everything okay now?” 

“When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are gonna be right about that.” Pam smiles. “I guess it also means that sometimes love affairs look different to the people inside them.” 

Brian’s mouth is dry as he watches her smile to herself. 

\---

“Do you feel that way about her?” Chloe asks, her voice half muffled by his chest. “All the things her fiance said, do you feel those things?”

He sighs, watches her head rise and fall with his chest as he breathes. “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

He traces patterns on her naked shoulder. “What if I only feel those things because... I have this perfect version of her in my mind? I’ve built her up into this wonderful, unattainable thing, so maybe it’s easy to feel this stuff.”

She sighs, like she's tired of talking about it. "Maybe."

\---

Brian’s assigned to follow Michael on his lecture circuit the following week, but to his surprise, Michael is joined by Pam. “I love being on the road,” she explains, “But I especially love the time-and-a-half pay, twenty-four hours a day for three days, ‘cause I have a mortgage now, gotta bring home the bucks!”

They’re on their way to Utica first, where Karen is now regional manager. Brian’s not in the car with them on the way there, but Pam tells them in an interview later, “I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me. But Karen knows me, and she still hates me.”

They’re all a little surprised to be greeted by a very pregnant Karen, but no one’s more caught off-guard than Michael, who blurts, “Is that Jim’s?”

Needless to say, any friendliness Karen was feeling toward Michael evaporates within the first ten seconds.

Michael’s lecture is ridiculous--it includes a chainsaw, mnemonic devices, and candy bars being thrown at random. Karen calls the meeting early and asks to see Michael and Pam in her office.

That’s when they find out that Karen is married to a man named Dan. She glows when she talks about him, “We met at a bar, can you believe that?” and talks about how her baby is due in a month. 

“I would give that lecture a solid B+,” Michael tells Pam as they leave Karen’s building. “Although, for the record, Karen? Wow. Kind of mean.”

“I like her,” Pam says.

“Really? No, honestly,” Michael’s shocked. “Tell me what you really think.”

“I’m serious. I’m really glad I came.”

“Why?” Michael asks, resisting the obvious ‘that’s what she said’ joke.

“Because... I’ll never wonder, ever again, if I did something wrong, and... now I have closure. She’s happy and... I don’t know. It feels good.” She grins at Brian as she hauls Michael’s suitcase into the back of the car.

They’re about halfway to Rochester when their car makes a sudden turn. Brian, following behind them in his Jeep, turns with them as they head back the way they came. About ten minutes later, he gets a text from Carmen: Change of plan, going to Nashua instead.

Unfortunately, Nashua is an unmitigated disaster: Holly is absent, but her new boyfriend is in attendance, and Michael has a meltdown. He leaves with a copy of a letter addressed to him from her desktop as well as a sleeve from her sweater. 

“I’m gonna read it,” he says later as he and Pam sit at the counter of a Nashua diner. 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No, under no circumstances can you read that letter. It’s a violation of her trust.”

“How?”

“Because she didn’t send it to you.”

“I know, I know, you’re right.”

Michael’s head is in his hands, and Pam’s looking at him sympathetically. Finally, she suggests, “I could read it.” 

Michael looks at her hopefully. “No, that wouldn’t...”

“Yeah, I could read it,” she says with conviction.

“No, you don’t have to do that.”

“Go get your laptop.”

“Okay,” he says, leaping from the barstool. Pam smiles and turns to the cameras. Spotting Brian’s expression, she goes, “What? I’m not in love with her.”

Brian stifles a laugh.

It takes her about five minutes to read the letter, then she closes the laptop. “It’s deleted.”

Michael leans forward. “Well?”

“She still has feelings for you.”

“She said that? Is that what it said? What did it say?”

“I can’t tell you specifically, but... it’s not over.” 

“You’re sure?”

Pam nods with conviction, smiling at him. Michael takes a deep breath, blinking rapidly as he says, “Oookay.” He’s so relieved that the entire Nashua encounter seems to fall away. 

“That was a really great thing you did for him,” Brian says to Pam as they exit the diner half an hour later. “Really.”

“Thanks, Brian,” she says, smiling at him sweetly.

\---

On Valentine’s Day, Brian wonders if he should attend Michael’s impromptu Lonely Hearts Convention. 

Instead, he follows Pam and Jim to the most awkward double-lunch-date with Phyllis and Bob Vance. 

Lonely Hearts would’ve been preferable to that.

\---

Michael’s fifteenth anniversary with Dunder Mifflin is celebrated with a “classy” party and the introduction of a new boss, Charles. Jim’s caught in a tuxedo, which he’d worn to work to needle Dwight, and is humiliated when Charles fails to see the humor in it. 

Things go from bad to worse as the day progresses, both for Michael and Jim. It appears to be the first time Jim’s unable to charm one of his superiors, and Michael... Well, after Charles cancels his big anniversary party, Michael drives to New York and hands David Wallace his two weeks notice.

“Does the studio even want us to keep filming if Michael isn’t here?” Carmen asks in the edit bay that evening. They just finished watching the footage of Michael telling David, “You have no idea how high I can fly,” and they’re all a little lost as to how to proceed.

“I think so,” Joe says. “This thing has become bigger than just Michael. At the very least, his last two weeks should be interesting.”

\---

Turns out, Michael’s two weeks consists of drinking scotch-and-Splendas at work and waiting for headhunters to call him. With only four days left, Charles starts interviewing outside candidates for Michael’s old job, which sends Michael in a downward spiral until he announces to Jim that he’s starting his own company.

On the same day, a new copier is delivered to the office, apparently rendering the whole copier-versus-chair debate from three months ago completely pointless. Unfortunately, the copier company had only delivered it, so it’s left up to Pam to make the thing usable. Dwight offers to help out around mid-morning by reading the German instructions to her, but his German turns out to be “pre-industrial, and mostly religious.” Brian’s a little disappointed that the copier doesn’t actually contain an incense dispenser or a ceremonial sarcophagus.

Michael interrupts Pam’s work to ask for help changing a letterhead, which Pam uses as an opportunity to ask if he’s really put enough thought into starting his own business. 

“This is a dream that I’ve had since lunch, and I’m not giving up on it now,” Michael tells Pam, and it’s such a Michael thing to say that Brian finds himself hoping he succeeds, just for the sheer fun of watching the chips fall. 

As Pam gets back to work on the copier, Kelly and Angela continue their insane competition over a clearly uninterested Charles.

“I am aware of the effect I have on women,” Charles says. He might be Brian’s new favorite non-Pam person, after Creed of course.

Pam’s a bit frazzled by 2:00, when she thinks she’s got it all set up but it fails again. “I’m at a crucial point where I’ve sunk four hours into that copier, and I am not gonna let it beat me like that wireless router did!” she says emphatically to Brian.

She gets it up and running about an hour and a half later, and gloats to Brian, “I did it! I know everything about this machine. I know all the buttons, even the inside ones. I know all the error messages. I could do a bound book in plastic with offset colors, which feels...” 

She trails off, and suddenly she doesn’t look like Fancy New Beesly anymore. 

A few minutes later, Michael is kicked out of the building, because Charles discovered his new letterhead. He’d spent most of the day trying to recruit some of the staff members to his business, most of whom had declined. 

He sneaks back in and pleads with everyone to join him. When no one is receptive, he asks, “Are you doing your best here? Are you being the best that you can be?” Still, no one responds, so Michael tries to pull Phyllis out with him, which gets him caught. 

“Come on, time to go. Jim, let’s go, come on,” Michael says, backing away from Charles. He only leaves when Charles threatens to take him out himself, and Pam’s watching, bemused, as Michael runs away and Charles slams the conference room door in anger.

There’s a tense silence for a moment, and then everyone looks as Pam stands up. “Oh no,” she mutters, and Jim asks, “What?”

She starts running toward the door, then stops with her arms wide and says, “I’m going with him!” She’s glowing again, like she did on the day she left for Pratt, and it’s infectious. Jim follows as Pam chases Michael into the parking lot. 

“Michael, wait!” she calls as Brian and Carmen come spilling out into the lot behind Jim. “I’m coming with you!”

Michael seems delighted. “You are?”

“Yeah!”

He’s laughing, walking toward her. “Okay! It’s gonna be great!”

Pam’s nodding. “Yeah, except I--I don’t want to be a receptionist anymore,” she says in her don’t-call-me-Pammy voice.

“Right. Executive assistant,” Michael agrees, misunderstanding her.

“Salesman.” 

Michael doesn’t even hesitate. “All right. Okay, deal,” he says, stepping forward with his hand outstretched. They shake on it, and Pam exhales, relieved. 

Jim agrees to bring home Pam’s things, so that she and Michael can make a statement by walking away together. They’re only five steps outside of the parking lot when the fear starts to set in.

That evening, Carmen approaches Joe in the film room as he and Brian are packing their things. “I think we should follow Michael and Pam.” 

Joe looks at her in surprise. “This is a Dunder Mifflin documentary.”

“And Michael IS Dunder Mifflin,” Carmen says emphatically. “He as much as said he’s going to poach their clients, and Joe, I think he can do it. I really think we need to follow him.”

Joe considers her for a moment. “Fine. I’ll call in the backup unit to do it, just in case.” 

“I want the job.” Carmen stands up straight. “Bring in the backup unit to cover here. Let me and Brian cover Michael.” _And Pam,_ she doesn’t say, but it’s there anyway. Brian looks up at the ceiling, pretending he doesn’t care either way as Joe turns to look at him. 

“Would you be okay with this?” Joe asks. 

He’s a little tired of missing all the antics in the office when he follows people off-campus. Apparently he’d missed quite the birthday party fiasco when he’d followed Pam and Michael on their lecture tour, and things are already shaking up here with Charles taking over. 

Still, he has a feeling Carmen is right about Michael. 

It has nothing to do with Pam. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he says. “We can try it for a while, see how it goes.”

Carmen’s so grateful that she doesn’t even have time to gloat after Joe leaves. “This is gonna be great, this will totally make up for those boring three months in New York,” she says brightly. 

\---

Things don’t get off to a great start for Michael Scott Paper Company Incorporated.

Michael spends two hours making breakfast for himself and Pam, resulting in a two-foot-high stack of French toast and egg (literally) all over his face. After Pam calms him down, they start assembling a sales team, Michael’s ultimate Dream Team... which ends up consisting of Ryan, of cheese pita and misleading-the-shareholders fame, and Vikram, a man Michael had befriended at his telemarketing job last year.

Still, things don’t seem _bad_ until their meeting with Michael’s investor, who turns out to be his Nana. And things aren’t _terrible_ until Nana rejects the opportunity to invest.

Earlier in the day, Pam had confided to the crew, “Sometimes, when one person freaks out, it weirdly makes the other one calmer. That’s something I’ve learned about relationships. I hate that I just used the word ‘relationship.’”

Now, after Vikram has quit and Ryan’s run in to Michael’s condo to watch TNT, Pam sits in the passenger seat of Michael’s car, her eyes glazed over. 

“Yeah, I know. Two not-so-great things in a row,” Michael says, approaching her window. “Ah, well. Sh-tuff happens. At least we’ve got Ryan. The Ry-guy. We should call him Rye Bread. Unless you don’t want to, we don’t have to call him that.”

“I can’t do this,” Pam says quietly. 

“What’s that?”

“I can’t do this,” she says louder. “I had a real job! I sat ten feet away from my fiance! I had health benefits! I was just feeling impulsive, I should’ve just gotten a tiny tattoo on my ankle!” She’s reached a hysterical pitch.

“Blech,” Michael says, apparently he has strong feelings about body ink?

“I just keep getting bored, and I let things build up, and build up, and then I do something too big, like this! Who does this?”

Michael attempts to placate her: “Well you know what? My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world, and that’s why God made so many--” 

“We don’t have any money,” Pam cuts him off. “We don’t have an office! We don’t have anything!”

“Well we should make a list,” Michael says. “Lists are good. Lists are good. Lists are good.” 

Pam just stares up at him, maybe they’ve both snapped. 

“First on the list, let’s get you out of the car,” Michael says, but Pam responds by throwing her notepad on the ground. “Oookay.”

“How come, out of everyone in the office, I’m the only one who went with you? Is it because I’m that stupid? I mean, your own grandmother doesn’t even believe in you!” 

She’s really freaking out, she’s never this mean to Michael. But that’s the thing about Pam--she’s never that mean to Michael. If Ryan, or Dwight, or Toby had said the same thing, Michael would’ve hunched his shoulders and curled his lips indignantly, before spewing forth with any number of incomprehensible rejoinders. But Pam said it, and Michael recognizes that it’s not really directed at him, so he leans down so that his face is even with hers.

“I want you to listen to me, because I want to tell you the situation that we are both in right now, okay? You quit your job, I quit my job, we both quit. Those are the facts, that’s what happened. Now, what are our choices right now? Because you know what, kiddo? You quit.”

Pam nods, quietly says, “Yeah,” looks up at him like she’s lost. 

“So, what are our options? Well, we can start this paper company. We can try. Or... that’s it. That’s our only option, because we quit. Pam, I do my best work when people don’t believe in me. I remember in high school, my math teacher told me I was gonna flunk out, and you know what I did? The next day, I went out and I scored more goals than anyone in the history of the hockey team. See what I mean? I thrive on this, I thrive on it. So I’m gonna go inside. I’m gonna make some calls, I’m gonna get us an office space and I’m going to show you why you joined this company, all right?”

And he does just that. He makes some calls and ends up with a small office space in the Dunder Mifflin building, “Right in the middle of the paper belt,” and he and Pam check with each other as Ryan wanders around the dingy space. As they stand in the doorway, Brian thinks maybe Pam and Michael _are_ the true dream team. 

\---

Michael schedules a pancake luncheon for their first day in their new digs. “Six yeses, one maybe, only eleven nos, and 788 not-yet-replieds, but of that group, 782 have viewed it!” Michael says with his usual sunny-side focus. 

The small company is in turmoil, though, because Pam and Ryan are constantly bickering and Michael is in the unhappy position of having to mediate between two of his favorite people. “They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends, and they are right. So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get?”

After a long day of fighting, Pam leaves the tiny office on a mission. 

“Pam!” Brian calls as he and Carmen hurry after her. “Pam, where are you going?”

“To ask for my old job back.”

“Brian, don’t,” Carmen snaps as Pam gets on the elevator. Brian hesitates, honestly contemplating chasing her down and talking her out of it, but she’s probably already upstairs by now, where Joe and the other two film crews are filming. 

Pam doesn’t return until the pancake luncheon is in full swing. She talks to a prospective client, who asks for her information as Creed berates Michael for his paper-shaped pancakes. “These are terrible, boss. You’ve got to make them in a circle, so that they cook evenly.” He pulls a stack of nicked rectangle pancakes from inside his coat and drops them on the table. “I don’t even want these.”

Brian really misses Creed.

After only three people show up for their big pancake extravaganza, the Michael Scott Paper employees return to their cramped office in low spirits. Michael’s in the middle of a disturbing story when the phone rings, and it’s Pam who finally answers. 

“Oh--hi, Russel from the pancake luncheon, how are you? … Well, we’d like to do business with you too!” she says brightly, holding up her free hand questioningly to Michael. He and Ryan scramble to help Pam close the sale, and at the end of the phone call, they have sold 20 boxes of paper with a promise of free delivery and a guarantee of satisfaction.

“I made a sale!” she yells, jumping up with her fists raised. Brian wants to celebrate with the others as Michael gives her a hug and Ryan even does an awkward arm-around-the-neck thing as Pam bounces around excitedly. 

And with that, the Michael Scott Paper Company is in business.

\---

By the third week, the little company has found its synergy, as they’ve progressed all the way up to complicated cheese puff choreography. 

Brian and Carmen pretend not to notice the way Michael uses Dwight to poach some Dunder Mifflin clients, but they’re forced to focus on it when Dwight defects to Charles’ side. 

Michael responds by going after Dwight’s biggest account, Harper-Collins Publishing, and he does so quite expertly, using his penchant for recall and ingrained sales tactics to land a meeting with Mr. Schoefield as Dwight is forced to listen in via cell phone.

By the end of the day, the Michael Scott Paper Company has stolen Dunder Mifflin’s biggest account. 

\---

Brian and Carmen accompany Pam, Michael, and Ryan on their 5AM delivery calls during their fourth week. They’ve been doing these deliveries for almost two weeks now, and Pam and Ryan are pushing for Michael to hire a delivery guy. 

Their meeting with the financial advisor doesn’t go well. They’re informed that their prices are too low for them to be able to sustain this business. All three of them are dejected as they ride back to the office, but something’s brewing at Dunder Mifflin, because Jim pops in for a visit. 

“We’re not hiring, Jim,” Michael says before he can speak.

“Actually here for something else,” Jim replies. 

“Listen, I can’t make you laugh right now!” Michael says irritably. 

“You know I love a good guessing game, but why don’t I just tell you what I’m here for?” Jim asks swiftly, then continues before Michael can cut him off again. “Turns out you guys have made a pretty big dent in the Dunder Mifflin sales. David Wallace has asked me to come down here and see if you would be interested in Dunder Mifflin buying you out.”

“Seriously?” Pam asks skeptically. “Are you being serious?”

“He’s bluffing, Pam,” says Ryan around a mouthful of cheese puffs.

“Jim, what you don’t understand is that this company is worthle--”

“Oh!” Jim interrupts.

“No--we don’t have--”

“Oh!” Jim repeats. “See, I’m here to learn as little information as possible, all I really need to hear is if your incredibly successful company would be receptive to a buyout.” 

Michael takes another moment to figure it out. “Oh... uh... yes!”

“Yes!” Pam agrees, but Ryan jumps up and chirps, “Maybe.”

“Three yeses, I will see you titans of industry upstairs,” Jim says, exiting before Michael can accidentally divulge the wrong information.

They hurry upstairs, reminding each other not to mention the fact that they’re out of money, but by the time the elevator goes up one floor, Michael’s sweating it. 

In the end, he rejects their offer of sixty thousand dollars in exchange for his old job. In addition, Pam and Ryan are promoted to sales positions, and Michael no longer has to answer to Charles. 

And just like that, the story of the Michael Scott Paper Company is over. 

\---

There’s some mutiny amongst the sales staff when Michael returns to work on Casual Friday. Michael expects an apology from the people who didn’t follow him to his new company, and the remaining sales staff expects an apology from Michael for poaching their clients. Moreover, the sales staff is bitter about Pam and Ryan being hired on and retaining their stolen clients. Michael quickly comes to the realization that he has to choose between Pam and Ryan.

He goes to Jim for advice, who quips, “I don’t want to be biased, but I am very close to Ryan, as you know.” 

“You’re close to Pam, too.”

“Eh. She’s nice, I guess.”

Michael makes a list of pros and cons about each of them. “Pam, pros: I like her. I think she is a fast learner. Cons: she doesn’t always follow through, New York and the whole art school thing, and Roy. She has a weird voice--”

“That’s not true.”

“I don’t need to tell you that.”

“I think she’d make a really good salesperson,” Jim says.

Michael takes a deep breath. “I don’t think that you’re being totally impartial, though, because you haven’t said one bad thing about Pam.”

“And I won’t.”

Jim never says bad things about Pam, because he likes to pretend she’s flawless. It’s probably a leftover symptom of pining for her for so long, except at this point, Brian’s pined for her even longer, and he has to agree with Michael that Pam has an issue with following through on some things, her engagement to Roy notwithstanding. 

“So be it. You’ve lost credibility, and I’m gonna go with my gut, and that’s Ryan.”

“Okay,” Jim sighs. “You’re right... sometimes, when she’s tired, she can be a little bit shrill, but that’s not a weird voice, that--”

Michael is surprised and delighted by this, teasing Jim until he heads back inside, annoyed.

Michael chooses Pam. Everyone chooses Pam, in the end.

\---

On the day Michael asks people to go to lunch with him, Pam and Jim drop a bombshell on the crew: “We’re getting married today!” 

She clutches Jim’s arm and stares at the side of his face with complete adoration as he explains about Ohio’s marriage certificate laws. “So this morning, we’re having breakfast, and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, ‘You know what I wanna do today? I wanna marry you.’” 

Pam turns to Brian, who feels like the world is falling down around his feet. He’s not even really aware of himself holding the boom mic up, much less can he understand the words coming out of Pam’s mouth as she talks about how unattractive she is in the morning. 

“Wow--congratulations,” Carmen says when the silence stretches too long. “You guys must be so excited!”

They confirm it, they don’t even really seem to notice that Brian’s frozen in place as they leave the room, giggling and holding onto each other like teenagers.

“You knew it was coming.” Carmen leaves him alone to collect himself.

As he’s sitting on the conference room table trying to wrangle his emotions, he gets a text from Chloe. 

_Are you busy?_

He hesitates before replying, _Yes._

She answers only a moment later. _Can you meet me for dinner tonight? I need to talk to you._

Feeling that his bad day is about to get worse, somehow, he answers, _Sure, just text me where and when._

He reunites with Carmen a few minutes later, giving her only a tight smile as a response to her questioning glance. 

Later, Pam emerges from the ladies room wearing a strapless pink dress; Brian realizes she’s had it on all day underneath her cardigan, but her hair is done up with flowers and she looks beautiful. Jim hands her a bundle of wildflowers he’d picked himself, and they proceed hand-in-hand for the elevators. 

When they get downstairs, they hear the music coming from the old Michael Scott Paper office, which Michael has converted into a Cafe Disco since he’s still paying rent. Everyone except Stanley is in attendance, dancing and making the place smell worse than it usually does, but Jim and Pam are smiling as they enter the throng. 

They stay for six songs, and it’s during the YMCA that Pam confesses to Jim, “I think I want a ‘wedding’ wedding.” 

He nods, bouncing with her, and says, “Me too.” 

Brian will be ready for that. His reaction was only so strong because it was out of left field--one second, Pam’s settling into her new job as a salesperson, and the next, she’s getting married. It’s enough to throw anyone off-balance.

Chloe’s requested that Brian meet her at a small Italian restaurant on the outskirts of the city. It’s got an undeniably romantic glow; the lights are dim, soft music is playing, and Chloe’s sitting at a table that has a single red rose in a thin vase as a centerpiece.

“Hey,” he says, sinking into the chair across from her.

“Bri,” she says, holding her wineglass aloft as she takes him in. “No offense, but you look like death warmed over.”

“I had a shitty day.”

She sets down her glass, leaning back. “Maybe we should do this another night, then.” 

“Do what?”

She hesitates, then gives him a proud smile. “I’m moving.” 

“I--what?”

“I put in for a job as a weekend news anchor, and I went out last week to audition, and... they liked me! They made me an offer today.” She’s beaming, wriggling in her chair. 

“Congratulations,” Brian says automatically, covering her hand with his. “Where are you moving?” 

Her smile slips a little. “Raleigh.” 

He sits back, stunned. “North Carolina?”

“I’m sorry, Brian, I know things are hard for you right now, and you’re--you’ve been great, but I need--”

“Chloe, please, stop. This is an amazing opportunity.” He waves his hands at her. “We agreed that we weren’t--we aren’t a couple. You don’t owe me anything.”

“We’re friends, though,” she says. “And I want you to be okay.” 

“I’ll be fine. I’m living my dream, Chloe. I love my work. I’ll just have to make another friend.” He gives her a twisted smile. “Really. I’m... I’m very happy for you.” 

She bites her lip, staring at him shrewdly. “What happened today?”

He shakes his head. “No way. This is your night. Dinner’s on me, and we’re only gonna talk about you, deal?”

“Bri,” she says seriously. “You know you can call me, anytime you need to talk.”

“Thanks,” he says, squeezing her hand before pulling away. “Now, what carb-laden food do I want to eat tonight?”

He knows he’s not going to call her. Chloe’s been his crutch, a stop-gap from forming real relationships outside of Pam, outside of Dunder Mifflin, and the fact that she’s leaving is a sign that Brian needs to move on. He kisses her goodbye when dinner’s over, but she seems to know that this is the last time they’re going to see each other. 

\---

The Dunder Mifflin company picnic is apparently an annual thing that Brian hadn’t heard of before this week. Joe decides to go to this one, since Holly Flax, Karen Fillippelli, and Charles Minor are supposed to be there, and he thinks there’s potential for some good footage. 

The park is overridden with Dunder Mifflin employees in different team shirts, displaying the name of their branch. Jim and Pam are less than enthusiastic about the entire thing, already making plans to get out of there early, but then they join a volleyball game, and Pam turns out to be pretty good. 

“Maybe I played a little in junior high. And in high school. Maybe I played a little in college... and went to volleyball camp most summers!” Pam brags to the camera. 

She’s so good that she becomes the team’s most valuable asset, defeating all of the other branches until they make it to the championship game, which pits them against Corporate. 

They take an intermission for some food and entertainment. Michael and Holly team up for a sketch, but in the course of the “Slumdunder Mifflinaire” bit, they let it slip that the branch in Buffalo is getting shut down. The crowd erupts in outrage, and the Scranton team is more determined than ever to beat Corporate in the volleyball game. 

Things are tense and heated, with neither team getting more than a point ahead of the other, until Pam slips and falls, twisting her ankle. She tries to stay in the game and play on her injured ankle, but she’s shouted down by Charles and David. 

“I’ll tell you what,” Dwight says in a conspiratorial voice to Jim and Pam. “I spotted a small hospital a few kilometers south of here. Get her back as soon as possible, I’ll stall.”

So Jim sweeps up Pam and runs toward the car with her in his arms as she shouts, “We’ll be back!” Joe signals frantically for Carmen and Brian to follow, which is why Brian’s got a front row seat when they get the news an hour later.

“Dwight, we’re so close, just buy us a few more minutes,” Jim says, pacing in the hall in front of Pam’s hospital room. “Well, they just called me in for an update, so I’ll call you right back.” He hangs up and dashes back into Pam’s room, clearly envisioning the volleyball victory that is so near.

But Pam’s looking shocked, and when the doctor addresses Jim, his eyes widen in surprise and disbelief. It’s when he looks at Pam that he softens into delight, and then they’re hugging each other tightly and giggling. 

Brian’s got a gnawing in his gut as he watches Jim reemerge from the room, pulling out his cell phone. “Hey, Dwight--send in the subs!”

He gives the camera a tearful smile before he heads back into the room, hugging Pam tightly, both of them joyful and laughing. 

She’s pregnant.


	6. So Show Me Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this one, but we're in the home stretch! 
> 
> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers

They only take one month off during the summer. Brian uses most of his savings to stay at a resort in Hawaii, drinking every night and exploring the islands during the day. He tries everything to get his mind off Scranton--base jumping, wild parties, a couple of one-night stands. For the most part, he succeeds. But there are some weak moments where he thinks about it again and wants the world to swallow him up.

\---

They start shooting on the summer interns’ last day. Pam and Jim still haven’t told anyone about the pregnancy, because why would they? They even tried to hide their relationship, unsuccessfully. 

Michael’s fear of being left out manifests itself rather quickly when he senses he’s missed out on some key gossip. He accidentally discovers that Stanley is cheating on his wife, and to cover himself, he starts making up a bunch of rumors about everyone in the office. Andy hilariously spirals about the possibility that he might actually be gay, and Creed worries that a false rumor about him having asthma will interfere with his scuba diving. “If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What have I been working toward?”

Of course, one of Michael’s false rumors is that Pam is pregnant, so the truth comes out in the course of the confrontation. Jim and Pam even produce the ultrasound as proof.

Brian’s just happy to get through the day. 

\---

The next week, Jim has a mysterious meeting with a visiting David Wallace, which freaks out Michael. After grilling Pam to no avail, Michael tries to break into the meeting repeatedly, possessed with the idea that Jim’s trying to get him fired.

Meanwhile, Pam’s trying to get a headcount for her wedding, which is in Niagara Falls. “Michael told everyone that they could have Friday and Monday off if they came, so now people have to decide if they want to come to our wedding or have to work.”

It turns out Jim’s meeting is about promotions, for both himself and Michael, as a reaction to the added workload of folding Buffalo’s clients into the Scranton branch. Unfortunately, Michael ruins it, as he is wont to do. “I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should’ve known he can do just as much damage in the dark,” Jim says regretfully.

But at the end of the day, David calls them both and asks if they’d be interested in co-managing the Scranton branch--Jim would be in charge of day-to-day activities, and Michael would focus on the big picture. It sounds like a perfectly terrible idea to Brian, but they accept the positions, to the utter dismay of Dwight.

Pam’s quest for a headcount is largely unsuccessful. After she finishes taking down Meredith’s verbal RSVP (“I’ll have whatever’s fanciest, unless there’s ribs”) she turns to Brian and says, “And I have no idea what kind of etiquette guide to follow about having a camera crew at my wedding. Do I provide food for you guys? A table? Are you all even going?”

“I know Joe and Tyler are,” he says, setting down the boom mic across two breakroom tables. “I may sit this one out.”

“You...” her brows knit together as Angela leaves the room; Pam and Brian are alone now. “You’re... not coming to my wedding?”

“Ah... no,” Brian says, trying to remain unaffected by the tragic look on her face. “Joe doesn’t need all the crews there, and my plate was pretty full last year, what with New York and the lecture circuit...” 

She nods, doing that small, pained smile she does when she’s trying to hide hurt feelings. “Oh. Right, I get it.” 

He pretends to fiddle with the foam on the microphone, anything to fill the awkward silence, because he really needs to not say something stupid right now--

“What if I invited you? You know, you can bring your girlfriend or whoever, and come as... as my guest.”

Brian’s shaking his head. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Besides, that wouldn’t be smart, and you know it, Pam.” 

He leaves her sitting in there alone, pregnant with another man’s child, planning a wedding to that same man. Brian doesn’t owe her anything, not an explanation or his attendance or his friendliness--he has let her have her way for five years, it’s time to make a stand for himself and stop succumbing to her charms. She’ll get the message eventually, and then they’ll just be coworkers, or even acquaintances. 

\---

During the week between Jim’s promotion and the wedding, it becomes clear that he and Michael are not good at co-managing. 

Pam tries to figure out ways to ask people for money instead of gifts, which is... rude, but she figures it out once she gets a check from Kevin. “Is this what I’ve become? Materialistic? Shallow? I feel horrible.” She holds up the check, then excitedly says, “Oh! Look! Mrs. Pam Halpert, that’s the first time I’ve seen it in writing!”

\---

“I need you there,” Joe says stubbornly, winding up the cable from his camera. “Everyone in the office is going, you know it’s going to be a huge fiasco, and I need all hands on deck.”

“I asked for this weekend off,” Brian says, but he recognizes that tone in Joe’s voice, knows that he’s already lost this argument.

“What’s this all about? I know you’ve got a soft spot for the girl, don’t you want to see her happily married?” 

“It--has nothing to do with the wedding. I just wanted this personal time off.”

“You can take the whole of next week off,” Joe says flippantly. “They’ll be on their honeymoon anyway, there won’t be as much to cover. But you’re riding up to Niagara this weekend, Brian.” 

And that’s how Brian ends up sitting sullenly in Carmen’s SUV. On the four-and-a-half hour car ride, Carmen brings up Brian’s feelings for Pam six times, and each attempt is met with silence. 

He doesn’t see Pam until the rehearsal dinner, after she’s greeted most of the guests. He’s in the back corner, helping Carmen film a conversation between Andy, Kevin, and Creed, when he hears her voice behind him. 

“You came.”

He turns, taking off his headset, and gives her a tight-lipped smile, or maybe it’s closer to a grimace, he can’t be sure. “Yep, I was called in at the last minute.”

“Well,” she touches his arm lightly, “I’m really glad you’re here, Brian.” 

She’s gone before he can really process it, already talking to another relative, and Carmen’s still filming, so Brian pulls the headset back on and glances around to make sure no one noticed their interaction. It had only been ten seconds, but it felt like a lot longer to him.

It’s Jim, and not Michael, who accidentally tells everyone that Pam’s pregnant. It goes from a slipup to a trainwreck in less than twenty seconds, because Jim’s never been quick on his feet when the stakes are high. Michael turns it into an actual fiasco when he starts talking about cohabitation and unprotected sex.

Later, Brian’s at the party where Andy rips his scrotum. Of course. Pam’s the only sober person in the entire hotel, so Andy knocks on her door and begs her to drive him to the hospital, which she does, albeit reluctantly. 

They follow her to the hospital, where she, Carmen, and Brian wait for Andy to be treated.

“I’m getting married today,” Pam says, her eyes on the door to the emergency room. “I’m getting married.”

Carmen gives Brian a bewildered look. Pam appears to be talking to everyone, or no one, it’s hard to tell, and Carmen’s always been very careful to keep her distance from Pam. 

So it’s up to Brian to answer her, since the waiting room is empty except for them, and Pam appears to be waiting for an answer. He clears his throat. “Yes.”

“He’s the love of my life.”

Brian doesn’t answer this time. He gets the feeling that anyone could be sitting here, and Pam would still be talking. She still hasn’t broken her concentration on the door, and her voice is dreamy, almost too faint to understand. 

“Is it okay that, right now, eighteen hours before my wedding... I’m terrified?”

It feels like all the weight he’s been carrying has suddenly fallen from his shoulders. He feels himself laughing, feels it bubbling up inside him, even as he knows he shouldn’t find this humorous at all. When Pam finally tears her attention away from the door, she gives him an offended glare.

“Pam, that’s--that’s completely normal,” Brian says, trying to contain his laughter. “Come on--you and Jim, you’re perfect. You guys will have a great marriage. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t going to be one of the scariest things you do in your life.”

“Jim probably doesn’t feel this way--”

“Jim’s drunk off his ass right now. With _Michael and Dwight_.” Brian’s still laughing, but Pam’s starting to smile now too. “Look, I’m sorry if it seems like I’m laughing at you, but... it’s sort of a relief to see you like this. You’re pregnant, Pam. You’re getting married. It was weird to see you so calm!”

She’s laughing now, the tension gone from her shoulders, and even Carmen is looking at Brian with a sense of... pride? Respect? Understanding? He can’t be sure. 

“Thanks, Brian,” Pam says softly. “You guys can go, you’ve been working all day, you’re probably exhausted. I promise I won’t let Andy do anything interesting.” 

Carmen stands up with a muttered, “Thanks,” and Brian takes it as a signal that they should go. Pam gives him one last, grateful smile before he turns to follow Carmen.

“That was... probably the sweetest thing I ever saw,” Carmen says as they walk to her car. “You’re more of a saint than Jim was when she was gonna marry Roy.”

“She was clearly in love with Jim,” Brian argues. “People act like Jim was out of line, but all he did was pick up Pam’s signals. She doesn’t feel anything for me.”

“Brian, she was ecstatic to see you tonight,” Carmen says as they load their equipment into the back of her SUV. “She came out of her way to find you and thank you for coming, she didn’t do that with anyone else.”

“So we’re sort of friends, that doesn’t mean--”

“And you have this... weird way of calming her down.” Carmen shakes her head as she shuts the back hatch. “You don’t even have to say anything sometimes, and she’s just, boom. Calm.” 

“That’s not even true,” Brian says, rolling his eyes as he opens the passenger door and climbs in. 

“Are you forgetting that I’m there for everything, too? Maybe not for your cozy chats and secret handshakes, but I’m there when she interviews.” She pulls her door shut and starts the car. Her face is only lit with ambient light from the hospital entrance, but Brian can still see the conviction in her expression.

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying--I don’t know.” Carmen sighs and sits back in her seat. “I’m saying that you’re still the most pathetic person I know, but it’s been five years. What, exactly, is your endgame here?”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, Carmen,” Brian snaps. “If I had an endgame, I would’ve hit on her while Jim was gone, or in New York, or before she got pregnant. I don’t have an endgame because I’m not interested in complicating her life with my unwanted feelings.”

“What if they’re not unwanted?”

“You’re dreaming,” he says, getting angry now. “I thought you just said you’ve been there for everything. Can you honestly tell me you think she would ever be receptive to advances from me?” 

Carmen opens her mouth, clearly about to tell him _Yes, Pam would love to hear you say those things, she’d dump Jim and elope with you and you guys will live happily ever after, you and Pam and her baby,_ but then she snaps her mouth shut again, because it’s all untrue. 

He shakes his head. “You never struck me as the hopeless romantic type.”

“Just because I maintained my space doesn’t mean I didn’t cheer for Jim and Pam before they got together.” Carmen fixes him with a hard look. “I would say that made me a hopeless romantic.”

“You warned me, a long time ago, to be careful,” Brian says in a measured voice. “This is me being careful.” 

They sit in silence for another moment, just listening to the sound of the car idling, and then Carmen asks softly, “Are you gonna be okay tomorrow?”

“Honestly,” Brian says, looking her straight in the eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

\---

He’s not fine. 

He starts out the day knocking on her door, because they can’t find Andy, and it turns out Andy camped on her floor. “I spent the night with the bride the night before the wedding,” he jokes from his supine position next to Pam’s bed. 

“Andy, did I dream that you were crying through the night?” Pam asks, but it wasn’t a dream, it was very real.

Pam asks them to help Andy to his room so that she can start getting ready. Brian doesn’t see her for a few hours, not until the crew is let into her bridal suite at the church. They fill their time trying to record other staff members, which is how they find out Dwight slept with Pam’s friend, Isabel. 

Pam’s back getting her dress on as her two bridesmaids gossip with her mother. When she comes out, she’s a vision in white, and as much as Brian had prepared for this moment, it still wasn’t enough.

“You look beautiful!” her mother is saying. “I hope he deserves you.”

“He does,” Pam says gently. 

It’s her surprise over Isabel’s interest in Dwight that gets her veil ripped. She’s trying to chase after her best friend for clarification when the edge gets caught on a wooden splinter and tears. Pam doesn’t take it very well. 

She calls Jim, who agrees to meet her in a Sunday school room. 

“We have to go,” Carmen hisses to Brian, who is hanging back reluctantly. “Come on!” 

Pam’s sitting on the piano bench when Jim finds her. “You look...” The guy is forever leaving important sentences unfinished, so Pam finishes it for him.

“Terrible.” 

If there was ever a moment that Brian was in danger of interrupting filming, this is the closest he gets. 

“So beautiful,” Jim finishes, but Pam’s sniffling and holding up her ripped veil. 

“I knew when we were getting married, and I’m five months pregnant, that I’m not gonna be able to wear the dress that I always wanted. Or high heels.”

“Hey,” Jim says, taking her hand. “You look just as I imagined you.”

Brian looks away, still holding the boom mic aloft, forced to listen because it’s his job, but it’s Carmen’s job to watch, so he decides he’s not going to do it.

“Pam, you’re so pretty,” Jim says. He’s also not a poet. 

“Thank you,” Pam says disbelievingly, 

“And... who cares? It’s a stupid veil, right?”

“No, this was the one thing I was supposed to be able to control, was this veil--”

There’s a sharp cutting noise, then a thud, as if something’s hit the ground. 

“There. Now we’re even.”

Brian doesn’t look. He hears her sigh, hears them kiss, and then she says, “Everyone’s driving me crazy. I know way too much about Andy’s scrotum. And my mom won’t stop freaking out about my dad’s new girlfriend. This is supposed to be our wedding day. Why did we invite all these people?”

Jim laughs with her, and then there’s a long pause. At some point, Brian had shut his eyes. There’s some rustling and some footsteps, and then Carmen’s jabbing him hard in the shoulder. 

“They’re leaving!” she whispers, jumping to her feet. “Come on, I think they’re leaving the church!”

She’s right. They run hand-in-hand, right off the church property and into the waiting limo. Brian and Carmen sprint to her car, and they’re just barely able to keep up with the limo as it takes Pam and Jim straight to the falls. 

“What the hell are they doing?” Carmen wonders as Brian texts Joe to alert him of this new development. 

“They’re getting married on the boat,” Brian says, pointing at Maid of the Mist as the limo comes to a stop at the dock.

They leave the car double-parked in their hurry to get ahead of Jim and Pam, but Jim’s grinning as they approach the dock. “Here you go,” he says cheerfully, handing Brian two admission tickets and gesturing them ahead. Brian doesn’t question it, running ahead with Carmen to turn in their tickets so they can get footage of Jim and Pam boarding the boat. 

It’s only about five minutes after the boat leaves the dock that Brian realizes he has no hope of picking up any usable audio. The falls are thunderous, matched only by the sound of the motor on the boat. He regretfully lowers his boom mic and takes off his headset. He’s just a witness now. 

They wait until they’re in full view of the waterfalls before they ask the captain to marry them. Brian can’t hear the vows, but after years of sound operations, he’s become pretty adept at reading lips. They’re drenched in water, but they don’t seem to notice as they exchange rings. Finally, the captain officially pronounces them husband and wife, and they kiss in front of a cheering crowd of strangers as Carmen captures everything on film. 

Brian claps with them. Pam’s never looked happier, and Jim’s never looked more peaceful. As the boat heads back to the dock, they stand at the railing and watch as the water swirls around them. Carmen gets one last shot of Pam leaning on Jim, and Jim gives Carmen a glowing smile like Brian’s never seen before. 

Not once, on the entire ride, does Pam acknowledge Brian’s presence. He is, for all intents and purposes, Toby.

After they’re back on dry land, Carmen collects her parking ticket and hurries after the limo. Jim and Pam are greeted by disgruntled guests, who were waiting an hour and a half for them, and then the official ceremony is underway. Only Jim, Pam, and the film crew know that they’re already married.

Which is good, because Michael, aided by Jim’s brothers, takes over the wedding procession with a recreation of the Chris Brown “Forever” video that went viral on YouTube. 

Pam and Jim go from bemused to annoyed a few times, like when Creed grabs his crotch or when Dwight kicks Isabel in the face, but mostly they’re happy, kissing for the crowd and waving triumphantly as they exit the church hand-in-hand. 

Jim takes a moment to talk to them before the reception. “I bought those tickets the day I saw that YouTube video,” he says when Brian asks how he came to have four tickets for the Maid of the Mist. “I knew we’d need a backup plan. The boat was actually Plan C. The church was Plan B, and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago.” He gives Brian a small smile. “Pretty much the day I met her.” 

\---

As promised, Brian gets the entire next week off. He spends the first few days drinking, but by the fourth morning, he’s already tired of the numbness. When he sees that one of his favorite bands is playing at a club in Scranton, he decides to go, just for a change of scenery and pace. 

That’s when he meets Alissa. 

\---

Pam and Jim’s return is marred by the revelation that Michael is dating Pam’s mother. 

Old Pam--the version that used to bottle up her emotions--is gone. Probably 90% of her reaction is the hormones, but still, it’s unsettling to watch Pam run out of Michael’s office screaming, “Noooooo!” 

Jim makes half-assed attempts to cheer her up after she’s done yelling at her mother over the phone, but the conversation ends abruptly when Pam says, “You need to be more upset about this. She’s your mother too, now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.”

After a very un-Pam-like outburst during a Michael meeting, and a failed attempt by Toby to mediate the situation, Michael chases her into the front breakroom asking, “Do you want me to break up with her?”

Pam pretends to think about it. “Mmm--yes!” 

“Well that is not gonna happen!” Michael says loudly.

Pam stops her foot. “Then why’d you even offer?”

“Because I assumed that you want me to be happy, because I want you to be happy!” Michael retorts.

“Michael,” Pam says, on the edge of hysteria, “Let me make this very easy for you: I could give a shit about your happiness, stop dating my mother!”

Michael purses his lips stubbornly. “You know what? I’m gonna start dating her even harder.”

Pam’s tone is dangerous. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.” 

Pam takes a deep breath, then stalks past him without another word.

Later, as Dwight is washing Pam’s car as penance for bugging Jim’s new office, Pam admits to Jim, “Maybe I’m overreacting.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“But I don’t think I am.”

“You’re not. Nope.”

\---

Brian picks up a pizza for dinner and finds himself thinking about Alissa. They’d only flirted and exchanged numbers at the concert, but he hasn’t heard from her and it’s been four days. As he waits for his pizza to be ready, he pulls out his phone and texts her.

**6:48PM:** _How do you feel about sushi?_

**6:50PM:** _I love sushi!_

**6:51PM:** _Maybe we should grab some sometime. When are you free?_

**6:54PM:** _I’m free on Friday._

**6:55PM:** Avocado Sushi, _in Dunmore, at 7:30?_

**6:56PM:** _See you there._

\---

On Friday, Jim pushes Michael into a koi pond. 

At the same time, Pam and Andy are going on sales calls together, since they’re the salespeople with the lowest numbers for the last quarter. Brian and Carmen accompany them to Wilkes-Barre, where they have a cold call with a drilling company.

Both the receptionist and the purchasing manager mistake Andy and Pam as a couple. On their second call, when they’re again mistaken for a couple, they decide to go with it. Andy creates a rich backstory for them, while Pam just grits her teeth and goes along with it. It only gets awkward when Andy starts kissing her belly, but they leave with a solid “maybe,” so they count it as a victory.

The day is so mundane that it’s almost reassuring.

(Okay, so maybe Jim didn’t _push_ Michael into that koi pond, but the surveillance footage shows Jim duck out of the way as Michael’s slipping, so he might as well have pushed him.) 

\---

His date with Alissa goes really, really, _astoundingly_ well. She’s a second grade teacher with a quick wit and a big smile, and weirdly, she looks nothing like Pam. Her blonde hair is straight and her brown eyes are bright with intelligence. Perhaps the only thing she has in common with Pam is her earnestness. 

He kisses her on her doorstep; she lives in a small two-bedroom house, on the other side of town from the Dunder Mifflin office. She doesn’t invite him in, but she lingers against his lips and says, “I’d like to do this again sometime.” 

It’s been a long time since he’s felt this good.

\---

Not much happens for a couple of weeks, and then it’s Pam’s mom’s birthday. 

“Michael has been trying to get Jim and me to hang out ever since he started dating my mom,” Pam explains in an interview. “I don’t know... I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he’s planning a birthday lunch for my mom, and we have to go. No way out.” She sighs, then mutters, “No way out.”

Just before lunch, Pam tries to fake a paper emergency from Schwartz Lumber, but Jim takes the phone from her and says, “Hello? Well that’s great!” and hangs up. “Turns out the paper was there all along.”

“Oh, thank God,” Creed mutters. 

As usual, Brian and Carmen are in charge of following Jim and Pam, but this time they’re accompanied by Gregory and Quin, who are focused on Michael. 

“I used to love coming here,” Pam says, hanging back to talk to Brian and Carmen as the others are seated. “The chicken parm is good, it was a big part of my childhood... Maybe Michael will start dating that, too.”

She softens, though, when she sees the table Michael has decorated with balloons and a banner for her mother. “Michael, you did all this?” she asks, impressed.

But things take a nosedive before the appetizers arrive; Michael finds out Helene’s age, and begins to freak out about the generational gap between them. At the end of lunch, he tries to cite Pam’s aversion to their relationship as a reason to break up, but Pam gives her blessing. “You obviously make my mom happy, and that makes me happy.”

So Michael is left blaming their age difference and his inability to understand her references (“Who is Kafkaesque? I’ve never--I don’t know him.”) as the reason he wants to break up.

It makes for an awkward ride back to the office, and Pam is not happy with Michael.

He tries to give her a raise--

(“I have the lowest sales record of any person here.”

“It’s not about numbers, Pam, it’s about attitude.”

“I have the worst attitude of any person here.”

Brian nearly laughs.)

\--but Pam refuses the bribe. 

“What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Do you want me to get down on one knee and beg you?”

“I want to hit you,” Pam says with a wicked smile.

“What?”

“I want to hit you, I’ll do that.”

They decide she shouldn’t hit him at work, so they settle on after work. “In the parking lot. In front of everyone. I’m gonna hit you as hard as I can.”

At five o’clock, everyone’s gathered in the parking lot, waiting for the show. Kelly’s even eating popcorn as Ryan snaps “professional” photos. Michael flinches away the first time Pam raises her fist, and when he flinches the second time, Angela snaps, “Put your hands in your pockets!”

She raises her hand one more time, and Michael yells, “Pam! Pam. I’m really sorry. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” she asks coldly.

“So many things, it’s hard to choose.”

“How about for dating my mom?” she asks loudly. “And dumping her on her birthday?”

“Yes,” Michael says, nodding apologetically. 

She relaxes her fist. “Okay, just...” Pam steps forward, getting in Michael’s face. “Don’t ever date a member of my family again.”

“Okay, no problem,” Michael says almost inaudibly. 

Pam turns away with a last withering glare. Everyone’s starting to relax, even Brian feels his shoulders loosening as he holds the boom mic aloft, and then Michael--

“For the record, your mom came on to me.”

In one fluid motion, Pam swings back around and smacks him open-palmed across the face. It’s pretty impressive, as bitch-slaps go. There’s a collective gasp as Michael struggles not to cry.

“Are you okay?” Pam asks reflexively.

“NO!” Michael bursts out in a sob.

“You’re okay.” She’s disgusted as she walks away.

“Feel better?” Jim asks.

“No, you were right,” she mutters as they head toward their car. 

Carmen’s taking her camera off her shoulder when she’s flagged down by Creed, who jerks his head in the direction of the office upstairs. Apparently he wants an interview. They follow him to the conference room, where he sits huddled in front of the window looking into the office.

“Something’s up,” he says conspiratorially. “That paper was never supposed to arrive.”

\---

From: David Wallace  
To: Dunder Mifflin (All)

Hello everyone, I’m sure you’ve seen the Journal, I just want to stress that it’s all conjecture. If there’s any concrete news, you will know ASAP.

\---

The email is the first sign that something is wrong. 

The crew, of course, was already briefed on the article by Joe, who keeps tabs on the corporate office and the company’s performance in the stock market, just in case. But as usual, they’d been sworn to silence, made to sit by all morning as the staffers go about their business, until Dwight reads the email aloud to Michael.

Oscar finds the article in question, which states that Dunder Mifflin is rumored to be declaring bankruptcy. 

It causes a general uproar and creates tension between the co-managers. Jim wants to continue working as normal, but Michael wants to play a murder-mystery game to distract everyone from their problems. Michael wins.

At the end of the day, David Wallace tells Jim that the company will likely be insolvent by the end of the year.

\---

“So what does that mean?”

“Honestly, it could mean anything. They’ve been in danger of losing their jobs before, and they managed to come out not only unscathed, but on top. Anything could happen.”

He’s having dinner with Alissa at a burger restaurant, talking to her about his job. He hasn’t actually talked about his job since Chloe, but this time, he leaves out the Pam of it all.

“If they were to close down, would you leave Scranton?” Alissa asks.

“That would be up to the studio, I guess,” he says, rubbing his eyes. “If they want to continue to follow someone, or pull the plug, or... I don’t know.”

“Why would they want to keep following someone?” she asks in surprise. “Isn’t it a documentary about the company?”

“Mmm... yeah...” he says. He hasn’t thought about that lately. 

“So listen, I rented a movie, and I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place after dinner and watch it with me?” 

He grins, feeling lighter than he’s felt in... years. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

It’s safe to say, after that night, that Brian and Alissa are officially dating.

\---

Michael attends a shareholders meeting in New York, which goes poorly. The odd thing is, this time it’s not Michael’s fault. 

\---

Jim tries to implement an Employee of the Month program, but it’s sabotaged by Dwight and ends with the whole office getting mad at Jim.

\---

Brian finds his focus shifting from work to Alissa as November fades into December. Before he invites her over for the first time, he takes down Pam’s hand-drawn cards and stores them in a box at the back of his closet. He accompanies her to Thanksgiving dinner at her parents house in Dickson City, where she introduces him as her boyfriend. He hasn’t been someone’s boyfriend in almost eight years. 

It feels good.

\---

At the Dunder Mifflin Christmas party, Pam’s main focus is on helping Oscar ask out the new warehouse guy, on whom he’s been crushing. It seems like any other office party--Michael makes a scene and brings everyone down, Andy attacks Erin with birds--until Michael gets some bad news from David Wallace.

“We’re going out of business!” he blurts to the staff, but Jim is quick to clarify that the company has been bought, so there might still be a chance. They decide to call David and put him on speakerphone to clear things up.

“Look, they’re buying the company for the distribution. You guys are the only thing about the company that works,” David finally says grudgingly. “So congratulations.” 

“We’re not fired?” Michael specifies.

“No!” 

There’s a roar of celebration, people hug each other and jump up and down, and Michael even crowd-surfs as he yells, “It’s a Christmas miracle!” 

After that, the mood is decidedly more Christmas-y. Dwight and Andy sing on the karaoke machine as everyone exchanges gifts with their secret Santas. Pam takes the opportunity to hand out the gifts to the crew, the usual gift certificates and hand-drawn cards, but Brian barely spares his a second glance before he tosses it in his locker.

\---

Brian spends Christmas holed up in his apartment with Alissa, watching old movies and eating rich foods that are terrible for him. It sure beats the last few Christmases he’s spent in Pennsylvania.

\---

In January, Sabre takes over in the form of Gabe Lewis, the only person in the world who appears creepier than Toby. Sabre is a printer sales company based out of Florida, and their objective is to transition the old Dunder Mifflin branch from selling papers to selling printers.

Michael is resistant to all of the changes--elimination of paper cups included--and butts heads with Jo Bennett, the CEO of Sabre, on the first day.

After lunch, Brian and Carmen follow Jim and Pam to scope out a daycare only four blocks from the office. It... doesn’t go “super well.”

“Well, you didn’t consider the fact that it might not be going super well because it... might not be going super well,” the daycare director, Jerry, says. 

Pam mulls it over, then shakes her head. “Nope. ‘Cause we’re really nice people, but you don’t seem to like us.” It’s like being pregnant has made her lose her filter.

“I’m being perfectly pleasant,” Jerry says. “Did you ever consider that you might not be as charming as you think you are?”

That takes everyone aback, even Carmen. 

“Oh, this coming from the man who still uses a children’s toilet?” Jim says, but he immediately regrets the retort. 

Needless to say, they don't get their unborn child into that prestigious daycare.

\---

Jo doesn’t let Michael and Jim co-manage for long. It takes all day and two changes in positions, but by the end of the first day of Jo’s visit, Jim is back to being a salesman (with the perk that Sabre salespeople don’t have caps on their commissions) and Michael is sole regional manager once more.

\---

Pam goes into labor two days before her due date.

The contractions start around 10AM, while Pam’s in the middle of second breakfast with Kevin. She and Jim had already planned to wait as long as possible before going to the hospital, since their HMO only covers two days of care, and Pam says her contractions are irregular and far apart. 

But by 12:30, her contractions are regular and seven minutes apart, which is when Jim starts trying to coax her into going to the hospital. She refuses, insisting that they still have plenty of time.

When Michael calls a meeting for the purpose of distracting Pam, Jim starts to come unhinged. “Sorry, Pam, but I feel a little frazzled. And you know how very rarely I use that word,” Jim says, clearly... frazzled. There’s really no other word for it, he can’t keep still and he’s speaking hysterically, as if his mouth isn’t quite keeping up with his brain. Pam sends him out of the room, because he’s distracting her from her distractions.

He stands in front of the Dunder Mifflin sign, pacing erratically and running his hands through his hair. “I know Pam better than anyone in this office, and obviously, she’s gone crazy, but everyone wants to say that I’m crazy, but I’m not crazy. She’s crazy. I’m not crazy, she’s crazy.” He sounds crazy, but honestly, Brian’s never felt so bad for the guy.

Jim ends up on the floor, his legs stretched out in front of him comically, surrounded by pregnancy books. He picks them up, one by one, and reads to the camera, “Five to seven minutes. Five to seven minutes. Six minutes--different, but not really. Five to seven minutes.” 

Then he takes solace in his car, deriving comfort from the idea that here, in the driver’s seat, he’ll be able to whisk Pam away as soon as she’s ready. He stares through the windshield with unfocused eyes, taking deep breaths as his hands flex over the steering wheel. This is where Pam finds him, to offer reassurance. “You don’t have to worry. Try not to think about it, she’s not coming out for a while, okay?”

Brian’s eyes widen. They never mentioned that they were having a girl...

“Did you say ‘she’?” Jim asks quietly. 

Pam’s mouth is hanging open in horror. “I... called the doctor like a week ago, I couldn’t wait...”

Jim looks like he’s been punched in the gut.

“Oh God, don’t be mad,” Pam pleads.

“Mad? How could I be mad? We’re having a little girl!” 

After a few tearful and deep breaths, Jim says he feels better. Pam leans in for a kiss, and that’s when Jim notices she’s changed her clothes.

“Oh, yeah. My water broke,” Pam says flippantly. 

“Oh!” Jim laughs, turning back to Carmen and Brian with an alarmed expression. 

That’s when Brian starts to feel a little _frazzled_. He doesn’t know a whole lot about pregnancy and childbirth, but he knows what that means. Pam’s officially crossed from “impressively calm” to “suspiciously unemotional.” 

Her contractions are coming faster and longer now, but she still powers through, sitting down for Ultrafeast with Kevin at 4:15. Jim’s pacing in the hallway, and Michael’s sitting at the next table, watching Pam closely. When she can’t talk through another contraction, the three of them try to lift Pam from her chair. That's when she finally freaks out.

“No! No! I’m not going, okay?” she shouts at Jim, and they all release her arms, sitting back as she starts to cry. “I’m not going today, because I can’t do it, I don’t think I can do it!” 

Jim kneels down in front of her, covering her hands with his. “Hey. Hey! Are you kidding me?” he says softly. “If anyone can do this, you can do this.” Michael’s echoing him, and all three of them have their hands on Pam’s arms, patting her reassuringly as Jim calms her down. 

Pam starts nodding, finally agreeing to go to the hospital, and then Jim asks Michael, “How are we doing on contractions?”

“Two minutes apart.”

“Two min--” Jim stops, tearing his gaze away from Pam.

“Oh God,” she says softly. 

“Michael, I told you--”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I told you to warn me at five minutes,” Jim says angrily. 

“Jim, we waited too long!” Pam says, starting to panic again.

“I know, I know,” Michael is saying, casting for something reassuring to say. 

“We waited too long!” Jim yells at Michael, his hands going to his hair again. “Two minutes doesn’t do us any good, what happened to four and three?”

“We’re okay, Jim,” Michael says firmly, bending down to address Pam as Jim starts to freak out. “Okay, Pamela, do you know what time it is?”

“I don’t want to have my baby here!” she whimpers.

“You’re not going to, you know where you’re going?”

“The hospital.”

“Yes you are, and do you know what you’re gonna have?”

“A baby.”

“Yes, we’re going to the hospital and we’re gonna have a baby!” Michael says, and just like that, Pam’s up and moving through the breakroom toward the main office. For one shining moment, it looks like Michael is going to be the sane leader of this little group, but by the time they make it to reception, he’s freaking out worse than Jim.

Brian, Carmen, Joe, and Tyler follow the four of them--Michael driving Jim and Pam, with Dwight “escorting” them with a red bubble light on top of his car--to the hospital. Brian is extremely thankful that the crews aren’t allowed in the maternity ward, so they’re forced to camp out in the waiting room and watch as the staffers trickle in. 

Brian’s phone rings around 7:30, and he remembers with a jolt that he had dinner plans with Alissa tonight. He begs Tyler to cover for him for a minute as he takes his phone call out in the dark parking lot. “Hey, Alissa,” he begins contritely.

“Hey sweetie, I’ve been sitting at Coopers for about 20 minutes now, are you on your way?” 

“I’m--I’m so sorry, I didn’t get a chance to call you, but I have to work late tonight.”

“Oh,” she says, disappointed. “What’s going on?”

“Pam’s having her baby, and everyone’s here in the waiting room. Michael’s going crazy.”

“Pam?” Alissa repeats, and Brian feels a thrill of foreboding. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention a Pam.”

“Oh--I’m sure I have,” he says, really sweating now. “She’s one of the salespeople, and she’s married to one of the other salespeople, Jim--”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned Jim,” she says thoughtfully. “It’s weird that I don’t remember, I usually have a great memory for names. So does this mean you’re not coming over tonight?” 

Did he really just dodge that bullet? “Yes. I’m really sorry, I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” Brian says, feeling awful as he pictures her sitting at Coopers all by herself. 

“It’s fine. It’s work, you can’t help it,” she says, reminding him of why he likes her so much in the first place. “I’ll see you... this weekend?”

“Yes, definitely,” he promises. “Bye.”

Michael shows up around 10 with a huge bouquet of pink balloons, but what he sees in Pam’s room scars him deeply. “That kid’s gonna have a lot of hair.”

Brian’s desperate for distractions, because whenever there’s downtime, he finds himself worrying about Pam. That’s not the sort of behavior a man in a committed relationship should be exhibiting, so he tells Joe that he and Carmen will help pick up supplemental footage of the staff as they mill about the waiting room. Andy shows up just after midnight with his gift, a framed copy of yesterday’s newspaper, which he now has to switch out with today’s front page. Phyllis frets about her ice cream cake in the car, which Michael sends her out to fetch. Oscar is watching CNN and complaining about the economy. There’s really not a lot of useable footage, if Brian’s being honest, but it’s nice to focus on work. Finally, at 1:15 in the morning, Michael goes to check on Pam and hears the baby being born. 

Jim comes out about half an hour later. “Her name’s Cecelia Marie Halpert, she’s seven pounds, two ounces, eighteen inches, mother and daughter are doing great.” They all cheer and hug Jim, and finally, he leads the crew back to the recovery ward. 

Pam’s cradling the baby--Cece, she calls her--and looks up at Brian with a serene smile. “What do you think?” 

He’s speechless, his mouth is opening and closing but he can’t find the words, so Carmen jumps in to cover him. “She’s beautiful, Pam.” 

Jim hasn’t noticed anything, his whole attention on his beautiful baby girl, damn him, but Pam gives Brian one last smile before returning her gaze to her baby.

He and Carmen pull an all-nighter, filming the awkward exchanges between Helene and Michael, Jim and Pam’s failed attempt to swaddle the baby, the bitchy nurse’s condescending advice to the new parents, and Pam fretting over her inability to breastfeed.

It _is_ nice to see Jim squirm when Pam’s lactation specialist turns out to be a man. 

On their second day, Jim’s clearly reluctant to leave the hospital. He waits until 3:00 on the dot to leave the room, and on the way out, he asks the nurse, “Are you really sure we should be leaving? You hear the baby crying, right?”

Brian doesn’t talk to Pam as she sits outside the hospital with her wailing baby. Jim’s gone to get the car, which Brian knows is covered in parking tickets from Michael parking it illegally, and Pam’s smiling apologetically to passersby as her baby cries. Finally, she asks, “Do you want to eat?” and pulls out her cover. 

“Okay. Come on. Just you and me,” she coaxes. “It’s just you and me, come on. Here we go.” The crying fades, then stops, and Pam’s face transforms; Cece is finally breastfeeding. 

\---

Pam goes on her maternity leave, which is six weeks long, and gives Brian a rare opportunity to take time off. To make up for missing dinner with Alissa, he surprises her with a trip to New York City. They visit Central Park and the Empire State Building, do a walking tour of Brooklyn, and even go to a Broadway show. Alissa’s more than appeased for being stood up at Coopers. On their last day, they sit at a crowded outdoor bistro eating scones and egg croissants, and Brian looks at her with a great swell of affection. 

He’s kinda crazy about this girl.

\---

There were some shake-ups in the office while Brian was gone. Darryl got promoted to sit in Jim’s old office. The sales team had acted like real dicks to the rest of the staff when their first commission checks had come in. Andy and Erin had gone on a disastrous first date. And Michael had accidentally thrown away Sabre’s expensive leads.

A bunch of the office workers are talking about going to happy hour at Sid and Dexters after work. Jim tries to use the baby to get out of it, but it backfires when he calls Pam to ask if she’d like to go. “Yes! Yes! I would love to!” 

Jim puts her on speaker in his interview. “It’s been so long since I’ve been with adults, I am so excited to see everybody! Creed! Ryan! Oh my God, Stanley! Stanley’s gonna be there! Yes! Oh my God!”

“I did not see this coming,” Jim mouths to the camera. 

The crew is already waiting outside the bar when Jim and Pam arrive. Pam beams a bright smile at Brian as her only greeting, before she turns to Jim and tells him she invited her friend Julie, so she can meet Michael.

“You’ve been gone for a long time,” Jim warns. 

“It’s not that--KEVIN!” she yells, clearly happy to see someone who usually annoys her. She ends up greeting everyone in the same manner, even Andy. 

Michael completely ruins his chances with Julie when he turns into Date Mike. It humiliates Pam, who has to apologize to her friend as she’s leaving, but Michael manages to land a date with the manager of the bar, a dark-haired woman named Donna, instead.

A couple of times, Pam looks over at Brian as if she wants to talk, but she never gets a chance to approach him. Jim’s constantly by her side, and Brian’s sure to keep his boom mic up even if he’s not recording, just in case she manages to get away. 

He’s finally gained the space he’s been craving, he’s not gonna screw it up now.

\---

“It’s my first day back from maternity leave, and I miss Cece, of course, but we need the money.”

“What was maternity leave like?” Brian asks. 

“Oh, how do I explain this?... It rocked. It rocked my ass off.” Pam grins. 

It’s Secretary’s Day, which is a big deal for Andy, who is dating Erin, the only secretary in the office. Michael takes her out to lunch, but it doesn’t appear to go very well, since it results in Erin throwing some cake in Andy’s face for not telling her that he used to be engaged to Angela.

Honestly, sometimes even the crew forgets about Andy and Angela.

Meanwhile, Oscar shows off a video he made of Kevin’s voicemails set to match up with the Cookie Monster. This spawns a bunch of Kevin-as-the-Cookie-Monster impressions, and Gabe, the creepy Sabre guy, is looking for a way to assert authority. When he hears Pam do an impression to Jim, he tells her she’s suspended for two days without pay. Two minutes later, just by talking, Jim and Dwight are suspended as well. 

While the three of them wait to find out if Gabe actually has the authority to suspend and dock pay, Pam approaches Erin, who is still emotional from her confrontation with Andy.

“You know, I was engaged before Jim.”

Erin sits back. “Really?”

“Yeah. And he worked here, too.”

Erin starts to cry again. “It was Andy, wasn’t it?”

“No, no, it wasn’t Andy,” Pam says, lowering her voice. “It wasn’t. It doesn’t matter... It’s not about who you’ve been with. It’s about who you end up with. Sometimes the heart doesn’t know what it wants until it finds what it wants.”

Erin takes a moment to digest this information, then flashes Pam a tearful and slightly sympathetic smile. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Brian wants to laugh at that. Obviously Erin totally misread Pam's intentions, but part of him wonders if Erin's onto something. “Thank you,” Pam says, giving up the fight and flashing Brian a resigned look. But she smiles a little as she kisses Jim on the cheek.

When she sits down at her desk, her phone rings with Toby’s extension number. “Hey, Toby!”

“I called Tallahassee. Now, he can ask you not to come in, but he can’t dock your pay, that’s not legal.”

“Very interesting,” Pam says mischievously as Gabe reenters the office. 

She hangs up on Toby as Gabe addresses their desk clump; apparently he had just found out the same information from his boss, so he tells the three of them that a simple apology would suffice. Meanwhile, Pam passes a note to Jim with Toby’s new information.

And that’s how Jim and Pam get two days of paid leave to spend with their daughter, while Dwight apologizes on his knees in front of Gabe.

\---

Jim and Pam team up for their first joint sales call when Donna, the manager of Sid and Dexters, comes in for a meeting. Hilariously, Donna mistakes them for siblings. Even in Brian’s totally biased opinion, Jim and Pam don’t look alike at all. 

Donna’s real interest is in Michael, with whom she flirts all day. Michael tries to kiss her a couple of times, which pisses Jim off, but Pam thinks Michael’s instincts might be right with this one. “I’m not saying she’s in love with him,” she tells Brian in her talking head interview, “But she could have left awhile ago. Most printer sales are done over the phone, Ms. Boob Shirt.” 

It turns out Pam is right, as Michael finally kisses Donna in the parking lot that afternoon. 

\---

After about two weeks, it becomes clear that Donna is cheating on Michael. Pam is the only holdout in the office, believing Donna isn’t cheating on Michael, but she’s wrong this time. Not only is Donna cheating, but she’s actually married.

The next day, Pam tries to prepare for Michael’s inevitable wallowing. She sends Erin for ice cream, puts on “Mr. Bean” in the conference room, and has a signup sheet with half-hour shifts to sit with Michael. 

But when Michael comes in, he’s not wallowing, and he’s uninterested in the distractions Pam has laid out for him. It doesn’t take long for everyone to start suspecting that Michael and Donna are still dating. When he turns down an invitation to go to dinner at Jim and Pam’s house, Pam yells, “Michael Scott! Are you still dating Donna?”

Andy, being the resident cuckold, takes the lead on knocking some reality into Michael, which is lucky for Jim and Pam. They’re both so tired from staying up with Cece that they fall asleep at their desks. Brian’s powerless to warn them when Gabe is approaching, so he’s forced to sit by and let them get caught... and roped into a really boring meeting with Gabe.

Darryl throws them a bone in the form of a secret sleeping haven in the warehouse. Glen takes them up in the lift, and they’ve just snuggled in when Dwight and Angela meet to fulfill the terms of their baby contract. 

They’re still stranded up there when Michael is swarmed with reporters in the parking lot. 

\---

Jo shows up in Scranton to seek out the whistleblower. Apparently someone had leaked to the press the fact that some of Sabre’s printers catch on fire. 

The crew knows who it is, but no one thinks to ask them. 

It turns out Pam thinks she’s the leak, and she confesses to Michael that she told one of the other moms at daycare. Of course, Darryl and Kelly think they leaked the story too. In the end, Michael falls on his sword for Jo, covering for everyone as he eats crow for the press. In return, Jo promises to work on getting Holly transferred back to Scranton.

(The real leak was Andy, who is outed by Nick the IT guy.)

Pam stops Brian in the back breakroom as he’s buying a soda, taking a much-needed breather from all of the pointing fingers and accusations.

“Any awesome summer plans?” she asks after greeting him.

“Uh. Yeah, actually.” He smiles, feeling relaxed. He can’t think of the last time he didn’t feel tense around Pam. “I’m gonna take my girlfriend to Las Vegas.”

Pam blinks. “Girlfriend? When did this happen?”

“Ah... let’s see. October?” he says, thinking back. 

“Brian! That’s eight months,” Pam says with delight and a bit of an edge. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He can’t help but feel a little taken aback. “What... you were busy, Pam. You were pregnant, you were having a baby, you’re a new mom.” She blinks again, guiltily, and he hurries to add, “I don’t blame you, but. We aren’t exactly close anymore. I didn’t think I... owed you a heads-up.” 

It sounds mean as he says it, even if he doesn’t mean it that way. And back in the day, when things were simpler and Pam was focused on her art and not on the baby she has to pick up from daycare, she might have laughed it off. But she’s got some gravity now, a bit more understanding and austerity, and she’s regarding him with slightly narrowed eyes. “I guess I just thought you might have mentioned it, sometime in the past few months...” 

“You didn’t ask, though,” he says, truly irritated now. “Sometimes friends drift apart, Pam, it's not the end of the world.”

“You always insisted we weren’t friends,” she argues, her hands coming up in distress.

“And you always insisted we were,” he snaps.

Her eyes widen. “That’s not fair, and you know it. You’re the one who tried not to come to my wedding. You’re the one who always uses work as an excuse not to talk to me. I’m not blind, Brian--you wanted space, I gave you space, because _real_ friends listen to each other.” 

He already regrets needling her; this isn’t her fault. She’s right, he pushed her away and she moved on with her life. He doesn’t know why he just tried to lay the blame on her when he’s the one who’s been avoiding her since her wedding. And the worst part is, he really thought she wouldn’t notice.

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” he says guiltily. “I shouldn’t have said that.” He picks up his sound pack and makes to leave the room, but Pam grabs his wrist to stop him.

“We’re friends,” she says firmly, staring straight into his eyes. “Okay? I’m sorry I’ve been distracted, but we’re friends.” 

“You don’t owe me an apology, Pam,” he says.

“I do. Because even if you started this, I didn’t have to go along with it,” she says quietly. “You’ve been with me through everything, and I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

This is one of those rare times when Brian can’t find his voice, so he has to settle for clearing his throat and nodding. It’s a huge relief when she lets go of his wrist. 

“What’s your girlfriend’s name?” 

“Alissa,” he says. “Her name is Alissa.”

\---

He’s drunk, far too drunk to be making rational decisions, but it happens anyway. One second, Alissa’s downing shots as he plays blackjack, and the next, she’s shouting, “I love you!” 

He looks at her with deep, drunken affection, then pulls her close and says, “I love you too.” She laughs and kisses him deeply, earning catcalls from strangers, and then he’s shouting, “We should get married!”

And they do.


	7. She'd Be Standing Next to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch! Please, try to contain your excitement.
> 
> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers.

It’s not the worst decision he’s ever made.

He’s already met Alissa’s parents. He loves Alissa. They make a good couple. 

The cross-country plane ride back to Scranton is awkward between them, but finally, Alissa breaks the ice. 

“So... do you want to house-hunt, or move in with me?”

He turns to look at her; she’s smiling at him apprehensively, just as frightened as he feels. He smiles back at her and says, “You love your house. I’d never make you move out of there.”

They have tons of other important talks that should’ve taken place before they got married. What if his contract with Dunder Mifflin-Sabre gets broken and he needs to look for work? Will Alissa follow him or will he be an absentee husband? Should they do a joint checking account? Do they want to have kids? 

They get most of it ironed out, except for the kids thing. Brian desperately wants kids, he’s always dreamed of a big family, but Alissa’s job makes her understandably hesitant to start a family right away. They’re still young, Alissa’s only 27 and Brian just turned 31, so they put a pin in the issue for now.

He moves in with her a week later, forced to break his lease two months early. He contributes a lot of cookware and dishes, but little else. As he’s cleaning out his closet, he finds the box of Pam’s cards. He contemplates trashing them, but he can’t seem to let them go. He finds his fancy patent leather shoes and shoves the cards underneath them, then adds the box to the “keep” pile. 

They go shopping for new linens and a couch, to replace Alissa’s more feminine versions. They argue over what to merge--Alissa’s deeply attached to her old Teflon saucepans, even though Brian’s brought expensive tri-ply stainless steel ones with him. After a loud argument and the resulting make-up sex, it’s decided that they’ll keep both sets for now. 

And then there’s the change in everyday routines. Brian’s never shared a bathroom with a girl before, and somehow Alissa needs seventeen bottles of goo, serums, and sprays to make herself presentable for the day. She also needs an hour each morning to achieve this look. Brian treasures his first cup of coffee each morning, but Alissa prefers tea. Brian likes to take an hour each evening at the gym (alternating between strength and cardio) but Alissa wants to spend evenings together. That one takes him two weeks for Brian to win--ultimately he needs to keep up his workout regimen, because weak people don’t hold up boom mics for eight to ten hours a day. In exchange, he promises to be out of the bathroom each morning before Alissa begins her hour-long routine of making herself perfect.

The fights are only fun because they’re good at make-up sex. The fights themselves don’t really matter, these are all normal growing pains, and Brian is confident that they just need some time and patience to find their groove. 

A week before he’s due to return to Dunder Mifflin-Sabre, Alissa says, “By the way, we’re having dinner with my parents tomorrow night.”

He freezes in the middle of dicing onions. That’s the other thing--Alissa doesn’t cook. Brian loves to cook, so it’s a good trade-off, but she’s not a fan of most of his carb-free foods. The woman loves pasta. So the past month has been a battle to find foods Alissa is willing to eat. 

“We are?” he asks, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.

“Yes. We’re gonna tell them that we got married, and that we moved in together.” 

Brian turns to look at her; she’s sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through a design magazine. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t have any plans for your dad to punch me in the face tomorrow.”

She laughs. “He likes you. Once they get over the shock, they’ll be happy for us.”

“They didn’t get to attend their only daughter’s wedding,” Brian argues. “They’re gonna hate me.” 

“They got out of paying for it,” Alissa points out. “Come on, my parents are easygoing. It won’t be a big deal.”

It’s kind of a big deal.

Her dad takes the news better than her mom. He gets tears in his eyes and hugs his daughter and then takes Brian by the shoulder and says, “You be good to her.” That’s the end of it--they settle in to watch a preseason game and her dad doesn’t mention it again.

Her mom, however, gets near hysterics. No wedding dress, no something borrowed, no wearing her grandmother’s veil. Alissa bears most of the blow, sitting in the kitchen as her mother clutches her hands and frets. She insists that she never wanted a traditional wedding, that she wore a blue shirt to the ceremony, that she hated the style of her grandmother’s veil anyway. Brian finds himself thinking of Pam’s ripped veil, how she cried, “This was the one thing I was supposed to be able to control,” and suddenly he feels awful.

“Do you want a real wedding, Ali?” he asks as they drive home. His wife is visibly drained from the evening, but she’s animated enough to look surprised. “Because we can do it. We can have a small wedding and let your dad give you away and eat rubbery chicken...”

“No, Brian. I don’t want a real wedding. But...” she looks at him shyly. “I wouldn’t mind having a ring.” 

He just smiles at her as he pulls over to the side of the road. “Come on, get out.”

She follows him bemusedly to the back of the car, where he gets down on one knee and produces a ring box. 

“Oh my God,” she says, laughing as he opens the box.

“Alissa, will you please accept this engagement ring as a backwards confirmation of my love for you?”

She’s crying a little as he slips the ring onto her finger. “How long have you had this?” 

“Oh, since I sold my flatscreen,” he says flippantly. “I put the money to good use, right?”

“Yes!” she says, hugging him tightly. “Ah, I’ve wanted one of these for so long.”

And suddenly he remembers what Jim said right after his wedding ceremony. “Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.” He hugs Alissa a little tighter, feeling unsettled.

\---

They go shopping for wedding bands two days later. He gets a plain but chunky white-gold one, so as not to clash with his dad’s watch, and Alissa’s has a fine line of diamonds to complement her shiny new engagement ring. 

Things are official now, but Brian doesn’t feel any calmer.

\---

The crew finds seven takes of the office doing a lip dub to “Nobody But Me” when they return to Dunder Mifflin-Sabre in early September. They’re not sure whose idea it was, but everyone except Angela participated as Toby did a steadycam shot through the entire office. It’s pretty impressive, but it compels Joe to get the locks on the film storage room changed. He suspects Dwight was the one who broke in.

As usual, the crew missed a lot while they were gone for the summer. Michael got West Nile and saw _Inception_. “Or at least I dreamt I did,” he says mystically. 

Gabe and Erin started dating, which stumps the crew, because they’re not sure when Erin and Andy stopped dating, and they also don’t know why Erin would date a creeper like Gabe. “Thank God he’s my boss, because I would not have said yes to a first date if I didn’t have to,” Erin explains in a talking head interview, which sort of explains a lot.

Dwight bought the building, which turns him into a bit of a tyrant about everything from the thermostat to the toilet paper. 

Kelly participated in Sabre’s Minority Training Program at Yale, and somehow she knows even less now than she did before she went.

And Michael had hired a new office assistant named Luke, whose incompetence is only outmatched by his laziness. 

Pam accidentally ruins a prank Jim’s pulling on Dwight, wherein he adds a couple of keys to Dwight’s master set every day until Christmas. Pam apologizes profusely and resolves to make it up to him. She enlists Kevin’s help to switch around the button functions on the elevator, and triumphantly tells the crew, “Dwight is about to get so Pammed!” 

She fakes an emergency in the lobby to get Dwight onto the elevator, which... promptly gets stuck between floors. And Carmen and Brian get stuck with them. 

Dwight tells her to use her talons to pry the doors open, and she starts laughing. “Okay, Dwight--OH MY GOD!” They swing around to find Dwight peeing in the corner, and Pam starts freaking out.

“We’ve only been in here for like two seconds!” she shouts.

“I’ve got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder, and we have to establish a pee corner!” he retorts. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Pam says, looking into the camera, but then her attention switches to Brian--most notably, his left hand. “Oh my God!” she says again, but in a completely different tone.

Carmen pulls the camera away to look in the direction Pam’s pointing; Brian pulls down the mic to look at his hand, only now realizing that Pam’s looking at the ring. “Oh.”

Both ladies are looking at him in shock; Dwight’s still peeing in the corner and seems unaware that anything is amiss.

“Brian, are you married?” Pam asks, aghast. 

“Umm... yeah.” He gives her an apologetic shrug. He didn’t hide it from her this time--they haven’t had a chance to talk, so she can’t be mad, right? 

“When did this happen?” Carmen joins in, lowering her camera. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It... happened in Vegas,” Brain says hesitantly. 

“You got married in Vegas,” Carmen says flatly. “I guess that’s why there was no engagement?”

Brian grins at her. “I admit, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing...” 

“Brian, that’s... fantastic news,” Pam says, and then she hugs him tightly. He’s so surprised by this that the only thing he can think to do is hug her back. 

“Whoa, hey, what is going on?” Dwight demands, finally emerging from his corner. “Pam, why are you hugging the help?”

“They’re not the help, Dwight, and Brian just got married,” Pam says brightly, stepping away from Brian. It might be his imagination, but it seems like she’s suddenly eager to put space between them, as she presses herself to the opposite wall. 

“You’re kidding me,” Dwight says, looking at Brian suspiciously, as if he’d just told Dwight he was planning to go to China. 

“What? Is it so weird that the sound guy would have a life outside of this office?” Brian asks defensively.

“No. But I could’ve sworn your name was Carl.” 

Pam rolls her eyes. “So how did this happen? Were you drunk? Were you super, duper drunk?” she asks, her eyes shining with mischief. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I was,” Brian says succinctly. “But once I sobered up, I realized... I love her. And it didn’t feel like a mistake.”

“Wait until you move in with her,” Carmen advises. “That’s the real challenge.”

“I’ve been living with her for a month now,” Brian says smugly. “And we’re still doing fine.” 

Pam laughs as Carmen waves her hand dismissively.

“You’re gonna regret this one day, Carl,” Dwight says darkly, sipping from his Camelbak as he eyes Brian beadily.

Brian tenses up, reliving all of the insecurities he’s been feeling over the past week. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You didn’t have her sign a prenuptial agreement,” he says dolefully, shaking his head. “She’s gonna clean you out of your... hundreds... when you inevitably divorce her.”

“Dwight,” Pam remonstrates gently. “They’re not gonna get a divorce, look at him, he seems so happy!”

Brian blushes, he actually _blushes_.

“He’s not happy, he’s sweating,” Dwight argues loudly.

“Because it’s hot in here!”

“Irrelevant! You can’t deny that most impulsive weddings, especially the ones that happen in Las Vegas, don’t have a long shelf life. Look at the statistics, Pam,” Dwight snaps, in that tone he uses when he thinks Pam is being maddeningly obtuse. 

Brian’s hands feel sweaty on the boom pole as he watches Dwight make his case to Pam. 

“Statistics don’t matter when it comes to love,” she answers just as loudly. “Look at my parents! They dated for five years before they had a traditional church wedding, and now they’re divorced.”

“That has nothing to do with what I just said--”

“Hey!” booms a voice from the other side of the doors; it’s Hank the security guard from downstairs. “Dwight, you in there?”

“Yes Hank, please get us out of here!” Dwight yells, immediately distracted as he starts trying to claw the elevator doors open.

“Don’t listen to him,” Pam says softly to Brian, patting his arm. “I’m sure you and your wife will be fine.”

But Brian’s panicking a little, because of the enclosed space and the heat from four bodies being crammed in there. Instead of answering Pam, he pulls off his sound pack and helps Dwight force the doors open. 

It’s just a newlywed thing, that’s all it is. He’s been through a lot of changes in the past couple of months, and now that things are settling down, he has more free time to freak out. Everything’s going to be fine. 

\---

Apparently, while they were stuck in the elevator, Michael had spanked Luke. So. That was a thing that happened.

\---

While Michael’s in mandatory counseling with Toby for assaulting an employee, Pam is realizing that she’s not very good at her job. “The unfair thing about sales is that your salary is almost all commission, so if you suck at sales, you make almost no money.” She pauses, staring at Brian as he fights a smile, then amends, “I guess that’s fair.”

She’s inspired about an hour later, when a window treatment salesman comes in on a cold-call. “Is one of you the office administrator?” he asks the office at large. There’s a long silence, and then suddenly, Pam pipes up.

“I am.” She stands up, then shouts to the office, “I’m the office administrator!”

“Can I show you a few samples?”

“Oh, we’re not interested,” Pam says, then adds, “We’re not interested at all!” She smiles proudly at Brian before she sits down at her desk again. 

“Office administrator,” Oscar remarks to Pam later as she’s making tea in the breakroom. “So when did this happen?”

“A few months ago,” Pam says. “I was talking to someone at corporate, who isn’t there anymore, and I think the paperwork just got lost in the shuffle. Can you believe that?”

“Yeah, totally,” Oscar says, nodding. “Well, congrats.”

“Thanks!” she says brightly. “Yeah. So I’m just gonna take care of stuff around the office, and get paid a reasonable salary. We need that, right?”

“Totally,” Oscar agrees. “That’s great.”

“I get paid forty thousand a year,” she says slyly.

“Great.”

“Maybe fifty.”

“Fifty?” Oscar repeats in surprise.

“No, not fifty,” Pam backpedals quickly. “Forty-one, I think. Forty-one, five.” 

“That’s great,” Oscar says again, giving her a slightly suspicious look before leaving the breakroom.

“What are you doing?” Brian asks later when she sits down for a talking head interview. 

“There are a few ways to get promoted. One is to wait for an opening and apply for it. That’s the main way. But this could work.” 

Intrigued, they follow her back to Gabe’s desk, where she spins quite a yarn. “As I’m sure you know, for the past few months, I’ve been the office administrator, since right before you guys took over,” she begins.

“Right. Of course,” Gabe says, because he is a pushover. 

“And... I haven’t gotten paid yet. I’m not blaming you.”

Gabe sighs with relief. “Thank you so much,” he says, putting his hands up.

“I just think somebody lost the paperwork,” Pam continues sweetly. 

“Oh, boy.” Gabe thinks for a moment. “Can you get every department head’s signature on this, so I can back this up to corporate?”

“Yes, absolutely, right away,” Pam says, smiling at the camera as Gabe turns to prepare the form. 

Her first target is Michael, who is fresh from his disastrous counseling session with Toby. He doesn’t even listen to Pam’s pitch or read the form before he signs it, so Pam leaves with a triumphant smile. 

“There are a lot of one-person departments here, so there’s a lot of department heads,” she explains in the conference room. “But I’m off to a good start. Oh man, if I can pull this off, it will be the scam of all scams. And yet very helpful to everyone!”

They follow her as she makes raunchy jokes to Meredith (who is apparently a department head, unbeknownst to Brian until this moment) and compliments Angela’s cats. She talks fashion and Kardashians with Kelly, and promises Darryl a corkboard. By the time Gabe calls her in for an office administrator-related problem, she’s gotten everyone’s signature. 

“The problem, unfortunately, is about the office administrator,” Gabe says once they’re settled in the conference room. “I have gone through everything from the past three years, and there is nothing that says you’re office administrator.”

Pam keeps up the charade. “So weird, that there’s no paperwork.”

“At all.” Gabe gives her a sarcastically confused look, but Pam keeps it up.

“Although, like, unlikely things happen. All the time. My best friend in high school, she went to Australia, Canberra I think, and she met this guy who lived only two streets away from her in America.”

“Pam, I don’t want to accuse you of anything,” Gabe says in his typical creepy-whiny way. “I just want everything to be back to the way it’s supposed to be.” Pam looks down but doesn’t answer; she appears to be relenting until Gabe asks, “Can you just admit... admit...”

But she’s come too far to give in now, and she hasn’t spent all those years helping Jim prank Dwight without developing a stellar poker face. “Admit what?” she asks innocently.

“I don’t want to say it.”

There’s blood in the water now. Pam goes from innocent to shrewd as she narrows her eyes and says, “Say it.”

“Mm-mm,” Gabe says, shaking his head. He looks nauseated. 

“Say that I’m lying, or say that I have the job. Make a definitive statement, Gabe,” Pam says sharply. 

“Statements of such a nature, while they have their place, are overused in a competitive business environment,” Gabe bullshits.

“Great,” Pam says firmly. “Well, let me know if you need a new chair, or anything that an office administrator can handle.”

“Will do,” Gabe concedes. 

She stands up to leave, but Gabe stops her. 

“Could I get one of those nameplates... that says ‘Gabe Lewis’?” he asks hesitantly.

“For sure! Anything else?” He shakes his head. “I’ll get it right away.”

“The first lesson of watching World Poker Tour at 2AM: You play the opponent, not the cards,” Pam says in the following interview, then sits back, beaming. 

“Congratulations on scheming your way into a new job,” Brian teases after Carmen leaves the room.

“Thanks. You know, I think Jim and I are going to celebrate tonight... maybe go to Coopers around 7:00 for their all-you-can-eat-shrimp night.” She says this pointedly, her eyes widened at Brian significantly. “We’ll probably get a table for four...” 

Brian glances at the conference room door to make sure no one’s listening, then turns back to her. “Pam if you want to meet my wife--”

“I _really_ want to meet your wife!” she says enthusiastically.

“--then just ask me if I would like to go on a double-date with you and Jim,” he finishes, smiling at her. 

She straightens up with the same intense look she just used on Gabe not twenty minutes ago. “Brian, would you and Alissa like to go on a double-date tonight with me and Jim?”

“We’d love to,” he says. She beams again--she’s having a really good day--and then skips out of the room to kiss Jim on the temple.

Of course, he hadn’t really thought of how to ask Alissa. 

“You can go without me,” she says as soon as he brings it up. “I’m really tired, Carly spilled green paint on Henry and it was this whole big mess.”

“I can’t go without you, it’s a double-date,” Brian argues gently. 

“Why did you even agree to this without asking me?” she asks irritably, kicking off her shoes and flopping onto the couch. “I don’t do that to you.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” he promises. “But they’re really nice people, I think you’ll like them. And you’ll get to hear all about my work, which you’re always interested in.”

This ultimately sways her. 

They arrive at Coopers a little late, so Jim and Pam already have a table in the corner. It’s only just now striking Brian, as they approach the happy couple, that this night has the potential to be awkward and/or disastrous.

“Hey guys,” Jim says brightly, standing up to shake Brian’s hand. 

Brian returns the greeting, then turns to his wife. “Alissa, this is Jim Halpert, and his wife Pam. Guys, this is my wife Alissa.” 

She shakes their hands, and sits down, putting her purse on the back of her chair as Pam mouths the word “Pretty!” to Brian, who grins in return.

“Where’s Cece?” he asks her.

“My mom’s in town, and she offered to watch her for tonight,” Pam says. “She’s a lifesaver.”

“So it’s kinda weird seeing you without all the stuff,” Jim says, using his hands to awkwardly indicate the boom mic and sound bag. “You’re a lot shorter than I thought.”

Brian laughs good-naturedly. “Everyone looks short to you, probably.”

“This is true,” Jim agrees. 

“So Pam, Brian tells me you got promoted today. Congratulations,” Alissa says politely. “You must be thrilled.”

“Thrilled? She’s a regular trickster. Did Brian tell you how she wormed her way into that job?” Jim asks, laughing as he nudges Pam playfully. 

Pam recounts the story to an enraptured Alissa, who has never heard of such a scheme. Then again, Alissa’s always in awe of the stories Brian has about Michael, Dwight, even Oscar and Toby. 

“And then Gabe’s like, ‘Will do,’” Pam laughs, doing a terrible impression of Gabe. “It was hilarious, wasn’t it, Brian?”

“It was pretty epic,” Brian agrees, sipping his beer.

“So that was it? The job is just yours?” Alissa asks, laughing with them. “That’s amazing. And you were there to see that whole thing,” she adds, poking Brian playfully.

“Oh, please, this guy has seen everything with Pam,” Jim says easily. “He even went to New York with her.”

“Yep, he was there to witness all of my failings as an artist,” Pam agrees. “Not even Jim got to see that trainwreck.” 

“I didn’t know that,” Alissa says, smiling at Brian. 

“It was just for three months,” he replies quickly. “And she was not a trainwreck.” 

“And he had to go with me when I helped Michael with that lecture circuit--remember when he cut the sleeve off Holly’s cardigan?” Pam says, laughing. “I still can’t believe he did that.”

“And most importantly... he was at our wedding,” Jim says. “Our real one, the one no one else knows about.” 

Pam nods vigorously as Jim starts to recount the story of ripped veils and soaking wet mists. By the time he’s done, Alissa looks a little teary. “That’s one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard,” she says with a sigh.

Surprisingly, dinner goes really well. Pam helps Brian to walk the line between too much information and just enough information to keep from lying. By the end of the meal, it becomes clear that Pam’s never told Jim about her various breakdowns in front of Brian, and he suspects Pam knows that he hasn’t told as much to Alissa, either.

Still, the meal goes so well that Alissa insists they should do it again sometime. When they get home, Alissa says, “I don’t know why, but whenever you talked about Pam, I pictured a frumpy, older woman. She’s... well, she’s beautiful.”

Brian strains to hear any suspicion or jealousy in her voice, but there is none. “Hmm. I don’t know how I gave you that impression,” he says evasively.

“If her husband wasn’t such a hottie, I might have had an issue with you being around her all the time,” Alissa continues. “But they seem really happy.”

“Ah,” Brian says, sidling up to her and putting his hands on her waist. “So Jim’s a hottie, huh?”

“Mm. You heard me,” she says slyly.

“But not as hot as I am.” 

Alissa pretends she didn’t hear the question.

“Ali... not as hot as I am, right?” he says softly, nuzzling into her neck. 

“Hmm?”

“I’ll show you how hot I can be,” he says, scooping her up and carrying her back to their bedroom.

\---

The next week, the whole office promises to attend the last night of Andy’s play, Sweeney Todd. It means a late night for the crew. 

Everyone’s impressed by Andy’s talents, even Dwight. “I work with that guy,” he tells the stranger beside him. “His name is Andy, and he’s a terrible salesman.” 

“It’s fun to hear Andy sing in the appropriate setting,” Pam tells Erin over the phone during the intermission. Erin was desperate to get into the babysitting game and had offered to watch Cece for Jim and Pam, even though Andy had really wanted Erin at the play.

Things go bad in the second act. Andy’s phone goes off, ruining the flow of the show and causing Andy to adlib and ruin the plot. Then Michael drops his wine bottle, which makes a loud noise as it rolls down the slight slope in the auditorium until it hits the stage. 

Erin shows up with twenty minutes to go, Cece in tow, which freaks out Jim and Pam. They take Cece home and let Erin stay to watch the end of the play. “We’re never leaving the house again,” Jim grumbles.

“Not together!” Pam agrees.

\---

Michael gets a cold sore, which naturally sends him on a quest to inform all of his ex-girlfriends that he has herpes. This includes Pam’s mother. 

Andy leads a Sex Ed seminar, which is awkward.

\---

The next week, Jim and Dwight go on a joint sales call to Frames Select, and Brian and Carmen accompany them. They run into a competing salesman named Danny Cordray and proceed to panic, calling Michael for his assistance. Brian racks his brain, trying to remember why the name sounds familiar, but he doesn’t place it until Dwight says, “He steals more clients from Dunder Mifflin than anyone. Also, he slept with Pam.”

“No, he didn’t,” Jim snaps irritably, but Dwight looks at Brian significantly. Brian, meanwhile, remembers why he knows that name--Danny is the guy Pam dated while Jim was in Stamford.

Which is just... awesome news. Danny’s got that slightly older and more sophisticated thing going, with suave good looks and an easy smile. If Brian thought it was hard to compete with Jim, it would’ve been impossible to compete with Danny. 

Unfortunately, even with Michael’s help, they end up losing the client to Danny, so the three of them return to the office with a plan to set up a sting, to learn Danny’s sales tactics. When that fails, Michael actually convinces Danny to come work for Dunder Mifflin-Sabre as a traveling salesman, like Todd Packer. This is met with dismay by the sales staff, who are enjoying their fatter commission checks now that Pam’s moved out of their department.

Later that afternoon, Jim puts Pam in front of the camera. “Tell them.”

“Nothing happened,” Pam says defensively. “We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again.”

“What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled,” Jim says in consternation.

“That’s fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.”

“Yeah, I thought you started it.”

“No, I liked him,” Pam says. Jim turns back to the camera with an accusatory expression, so she adds, “For a couple of days! Four years ago. You realize I have a kid with you, right?”

“Ehhh,” Jim says, obviously still bothered.

Danny approaches Jim at his desk shortly after this interview. “Oh, you know, funny,” he says easily. “Your wife and I went on a few dates.”

Jim pretends to look flabbergasted. “Did you?”

“Yeah, way, way, way back,” Danny says, waving his arm around to indicate the passage of time.

“I’m just kidding, she told me about it,” Jim says, grinning up at him.

“Oh, good,” Danny says, relieved. “She was not into me. Obviously. I don’t even think she called me back.”

Dwight unexpectedly cuts in. “You snubbed her,” he says in disgust.

“Dwight, please,” Jim mutters.

“Let me handle this, Jim! Drop the act, Cordray, okay?” Dwight says, standing up. “Well all know that you probably thought Pam was too ‘meh,’ or thin without being toned, but I wanna tell you something. She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton.” Unbeknownst to Dwight, Pam’s reentered the office from the breakroom and can hear everything. “So what if she doesn’t wear makeup?”

Pam mouths to the camera, “I wear makeup...”

“We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don’t you? Don’t you?!” Dwight leaps into Danny’s personal space. 

“Okay... that’s different,” Danny says, confused.

“Oh... that’s different, is it? Okay, thief.” Dwight turns to address the office. “You better check your things, people. In fact, where are my keys?” He feels around his pants, then says, “Oh, they’re in my pocket. False alarm. Okay.”

Everyone stares in silence as Dwight inhales. Then he asks Danny conversationally, “So, you’re gonna be working here?”

“Uh... I mean... yeah.”

“Welcome aboard,” he says warmly, before gathering his jacket and briefcase from his desk.

“Thank you?” Brian might feel bad for Danny if he weren’t so good looking.

“Heyyy crazy,” Jim mutters. “So that’s it? You’re just, you’re fine?”

“It’s after five, Jim. I’m not gonna take this home.” He shakes Danny’s hand. “Pleasure.” 

And then he’s gone. 

It was a really weird day.

\---

Jim refuses to dress up as Popeye for Halloween. Brian thinks he’s being a little hardheaded about it, the costume obviously means a lot to Pam, who dressed as Olive Oyl, but Jim will only submit to holding the corncob pipe. 

Dwight thinks Pam’s dressed as his mother, though. “You’re only one-third as beautiful and about half her height!” he snaps at her. 

She doesn’t let Jim deter her from her first official office party as the Office Administrator, though. She’s set up a bobbing for apples station, a Ouija board, and best of all, a costume contest. Even the traveling salesmen are there for the party, since Gabe has scheduled a sales meeting for that morning. 

Throughout the course of the day, the office takes sides on the imaginary Danny-versus-Jim war. Andy and Kevin fret about their loyalties if they were to attend a party at Danny’s club, and at the mid-morning break, everyone’s speculating on whether Pam will leave Jim for Danny. When Danny gets wind of these rumors, he confronts Jim and Pam, who laugh them off.

“I’m just glad we can laugh about it, because I was a little nervous about coming to work here, with, you know, our history...” Danny says, indicating himself and Pam.

“Oh my gosh, everyone keeps blowing that out of proportion, it’s not even a history,” Pam says, laughing.

“Exactly.”

“It’s not like you guys had some long relationship, right?” Jim jokes. “Big, painful breakup I don’t know about?”

They laugh again, and Danny says, “Two or three dates.”

“It was two!” Pam specifies. 

“Was it two? I thought it was three.”

“No, we, um... we had plans for a third, but then I don’t know, you never called me back,” Pam says in a cartoonish voice. It’s so stupidly endearing when she does that.

“Oooh,” Jim says, still teasing as Danny laughs. “You can’t handle the truth.”

“Well that does not sound like me,” Danny says good-naturedly. 

“Yeah? It was, though. That’s what happened.” The smile’s gone from Pam’s face, and Jim bends down to look into her eyes. 

“Well, good. I just wanted to make sure things weren’t weird,” Danny says, and Pam shakes her head. 

But later, after the costume contest, Jim runs into Danny in the breakroom as he grabs some coffee. Packer’s sitting on the counter, drunk, with a paper bag on his lap that reads “Trouser Mouse,” which has obvious connotations.

“Oh, here’s something,” Jim starts awkwardly. “Uh, why didn’t you ever call Pam back?”

“Are you serious?” Danny asks, laughing nervously.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not saying that everyone has to fall in love, I’m just saying... but to, you know, to not even call her back...”

“You know what it was? I think she gave me her number, but then, like, her fours looked like eights...”

“Could be,” Jim conceds, “But you also called her the second time, so you had the number right...”

“Halpert,” Packer interrupts, “You lookin’ for someone to bang your wife?”

“Nope,” Jim says, barely sparing him a glance.

“Okay,” Danny says, sighing. “You wanna know? I didn’t call her back because she spent the whole date talking about you. She was obviously in love with you.”

Jim looks appeased, if a little guilty for grilling the guy, but Brian suspects Danny is lying. Brian was there during those months that Jim was in Stamford--Pam so rarely talked about him that Brian finds it hard to believe she’d wax poetic about the guy when she’s on a date, much less a date with a guy who looks like Danny. 

(He really hates how handsome Danny is.)

Luckily, he doesn’t have to say anything, because Jim immediately runs the story by Pam, who calls bullshit. They ambush Danny as he’s coming out of the men’s room. “I’d remember talking about Jim,” she says, her hands on her hips. “That wasn’t it.”

“Just tell her the real reason,” Jim says, as Danny sighs in exasperation. Honestly, Brian’s on Danny’s side in all this; they’re being a teensy bit obsessive about the subject.

“You honestly want to know why I didn’t call her back after a date over four years ago?”

“Hey. She had a nice time. It seems rude,” Jim says firmly. 

“I did. Yeah. And it’s one of those things that’s just gonna keep gnawing at me, like gnaw, gnaw, ‘Why didn’t he? I have no idea! Why? Why?’” she says, using her hands as little claws around her head.

“Okay,” Danny says, putting up his hand to stop her. “Honestly... I didn’t call you back because I thought you seemed a little... dorky.” 

They reel a little bit, and then Jim goes, “Hey man,” starting to sound a little aggressive, but Pam puts her hand on his chest and says, “Thank you! Thank you. I got it. Now I know. You thought I was a little dorky. You know?” 

Danny looks miserable, they did practically force it from the guy, but Pam’s trying to exit gracefully, making a weird noise and saying, “Excuuuse me,” as she leaves the breakroom.

Jim sits down with the crew in the conference room, crossing his arms. “To be honest, I still can’t believe he didn’t call her back,” he tells Brian. “Who doesn’t call a dork like that back?”

For once, Brian’s in full agreement with Jim.

\---

Brian misses Cece’s christening, as he and Alissa have a wedding to attend in Philly, but he hears all about it afterwards. 

\---

“Wait, so you have to work tonight because of Glee?” Alissa asks from the bathroom, where she’s straightening her hair. It’s gotten to the point that she takes so long in there in the mornings that Brian’s decided to stop shaving.

“Yes, I told you last night, everyone’s going to Gabe’s house to watch the show,” Brian says patiently. “I shouldn’t be home any later than eleven.”

“I don’t know, Sam’s supposed to have an amazing duet with Quinn tonight, that might keep people talking for a while.”

Brian sighs, leaning against the doorframe. “I didn’t know you watched that.”

“It’s a good show...”

“No, yeah, totally,” Brian says. “So... are we good?”

“I guess,” she says with a shrug. “I thought we’d get to spend time together tonight, I bought that wine--”

“Tomorrow night. Promise.” 

Pam and Jim bring Cece--they’re still too scared to hire a babysitter after Erin messed it up so badly--and Pam tells Brian and Carmen, “Cece is reverse-cycling, which means she sleeps all day and she’s up all night. Which basically means, I’m up all day, and I’m up all night. And if it doesn’t stop soon, I am gonna be up all night.” She tries to rephrase that, but fails.

Michael comes to wallow in the bedroom when he’s overruled on volume control by Gabe. Pam tries to convince Michael to rejoin the party even as she’s comforting Cece, and then Dwight charges in. “Michael, I find it absolutely disgraceful that no one followed you in here. I took the liberty of making a list of everyone who didn’t follow you in here: Jim, Oscar, Creed, me at first--”

“Maybe I should go,” Pam says over Cece’s fussing.

“--Kelly--are you gonna quiet that baby, or do I have to?” Dwight demands mid-list. Pam shoots him an annoyed look, but he leans down and picks up Cece from her carseat before Pam can stop him. 

To everyone’s surprise, Cece immediately calms. Dwight explains, “In the Schrute family, the youngest child always raises the others. I’ve been raising children since I was a baby.” 

He cooes at her while Pam looks on, sitting in Gabe’s desk chair. “If I could get her sleeping normally, I would get my life back,” she whispers after he’s rocked Cece to sleep.

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” Dwight replies. 

“I can’t even talk about it.”

“You know, it’s not really necessary for me to sit here holding her all night,” Dwight says. “Just go to Gabe’s refrigerator, get a lump of suet--or any kind of congealed animal fat would do, really--tie a piece of string to it, tie the other end to her toe, pop the suet in her mouth. She’ll be happy for hours.”

“I kind of doubt Gabe has suet,” Pam says.

“Really? Well... then here we are,” Dwight says, looking at Pam uneasily. 

Erin comes in to ask Michael, who is still watching Glee in silent misery, if he would help Gabe make pigs in a blanket. As Michael allows Erin to lead him to the kitchen, Jim comes in to check on Pam and Cece, followed by Angela. 

“It’s a miracle,” Pam tells Jim. “She loves him!”

“Oh, I don’t know about love,” Jim whispers back.

“She loves me,” Dwight whispers smugly. 

Angela approaches Dwight and whispers, “Outside. My car. Two minutes.” Brian had almost forgotten about their weird sex contract. Dwight waits only five seconds before standing up.

“All right, something’s come up, I’ve gotta go.”

“No no no! She’ll wake up!” Pam whispers, panicked. 

“No, I have something to do,” Dwight insists. 

“I know what you have to do, please stay with Cece.” Dwight hesitates, and Pam goes in for the kill. “Dwight, I’ve always considered us to be very good friends. Great friends. Remember your concussion?”

“I do,” Dwight says softly, staring down at Pam intently. His voice takes on a hard edge. “But you married my worst enemy.”

“I know,” Pam says, sounding a little choked up. Carmen actually takes a moment, right in the middle of filming, to give Brian a look of pure delight. 

Jim leans in to intervene, even as Dwight keeps his gaze trained on Pam. “Well, I think ‘enemy’s a strong word, because I think we have a really charming back-and-forth.” 

“Enough,” Dwight says flatly, and Jim leans against the wall, annoyed. Dwight sits back down on the edge of Gabe’s bed and says, “I will require beer and pizza to think this over.”

“Absolutely,” Pam says, making to leave the room.

“From Jim,” Dwight says in a louder voice.

“Well, I don’t think that’s gonna happ--”

“Do it!” Pam snaps. 

Jim’s clearly hating every second of this, but judging by Carmen’s grin, she’s deriving just as much joy out of this as Dwight himself. “What kind of pizza would you like?” Jim asks. 

“Surprise me. No. Pepperoni.”

After Jim’s gone, Pam thanks Dwight as she sits back down on Gabe’s chair, flashing Brian a nervous glance. Dwight doesn’t miss this. “You’re entirely too friendly to the help, Pam,” he mutters with narrowed eyes. 

“I’m not the help,” Brian says through gritted teeth. 

“Shh!” Pam tells them both, her eyes on her baby.

When Jim returns with the pizza and beer, Dwight demands to be hand-fed. It’s all Brian and Carmen can do not to laugh at the antics. Finally, when he’s done, Dwight decides to go outside, explaining about his legal obligation to Angela.

“I will go talk to Angela,” Pam insists. 

“She is in heat. She will eat your face off,” Dwight says.

“The reverse-cycling ends tonight!” she says harshly before leaving the two men alone. 

“A single piece of pepperoni, please,” Dwight requests from Jim. 

Pam smooths out everything with Angela, and for the rest of the party, Jim is forced to feed pizza and beer to Dwight as Cece stays asleep. By the time everyone goes home... at midnight... the reverse-cycling has officially been re-reversed. 

\---

A couple weeks later, Dwight switches all of the toilet paper rolls in the building for single-ply, and things get a little dicey for Pam.

“Stanley, as a fellow Dunder Mifflin employee, I feel for you. But like you, I am completely powerless to the whims of the new building owner,” Dwight explains loftily. 

“Which is you,” Jim points out.

“‘Which is you’ is not a sentence,” Dwight snaps.

“I disagree with.”

Stanley turns to Pam. “Are you just gonna sit there, Office Administrator, or are you going to do something?”

Pam tries everything--appealing to Dwight’s softer side, scheduling a meeting with the building assistant, Nate... Nothing works. Later that day, Dwight twists the knife by putting up a huge banner advertising an exterminator service--one that covers all of the windows into the office. 

“Dwight, take it down!” Pam yells. He laughs an evil laugh. “I’m serious! Take it down, or else!”

“Or else?” He chuckles. “Or else what? There’s nothing you can do.”

“We can move out!” she threatens, but Dwight doesn’t respond.

She spends the next two hours searching for new office spaces, coming back with pictures of a space she thinks would be perfect. She gets everyone on board, even Stanley. 

Later, Dwight passes by Pam in the breakroom and mutters, “Parlay, my office, five minutes.”

“Parlay?” she repeats, but Dwight’s already gone. 

“Pirate code,” Creed explains from the table, where he’s reading the paper. “He wants to meet.”

“So everyone here knows pirate code?” Pam asks.

“I understand it. I can’t speak it.”

She meets with Dwight at the appointed time, however, negotiations fall apart even as Nate looks on from his de-plying machine. 

Dwight leaves on a mysterious errand, but he comes back looking like the cat that ate the canary. He demands to see the one-sheet, dropping heavy hints that the new office is fictitious. 

Pam pulls Jim into the stairwell for a private chat, but Carmen and Brian sneak the door open to film it. What Jim and Pam don’t know is that Dwight’s there, too, and he hears the entire thing.

“I lied about some aspects of the building,” she starts, twisting her wedding band around her finger. 

“It’s still on a bike path, though, right?” Jim asks. 

“There’s no building. It doesn’t exist.”

“What does that mean?”

“I needed leverage, so I pulled those pictures off the internet. It’s just this--this Office Administrator thing, I don’t want to...” she trails off, wringing her hands.

“What?”

“Fail,” she says on a heavy exhale. “I don’t want to fail. Again.”

“You didn’t fail...”

“That’s what you said about art school, and that’s what you said about sales--”

“And you didn’t fail those things, either.”

She purses her lips. “Well. I’m not an artist, and I’m not a salesman, so. What would you call it?”

Jim doesn’t have an answer for her, even as she starts crying. Dwight moves away from the door silently as Jim wraps her in a hug. 

About half an hour later, Nate drops off a handbook next to Pam and says, “I wasn’t here.” Then he takes a moment to explain the phrase to Pam. She flips the book open to the earmarked page, then marches downstairs to Dwight’s office. 

“You’re breaking the law,” she says without preamble.

“That’s impossible, I love the law.”

“Read Article 19. There are certain standards that you have to maintain the building at, and that includes comfortable temperatures and adequate lighting. It also means no more cutting the tampons in two, and no more tampering with the toilet paper.”

“I see I’ve underestimated you,” Dwight says shrewdly. “And I didn’t think that was possible.” 

Brian and Carmen linger after Pam leaves, so as to get an interview with the building manager at his desk. “How did Pam end up getting the better of you?” 

“They say the best vampires don’t bleed their victims dry, but give them the strength so that they can bounce back only to be fed on again. I spared Pam, and I might feast off of her profits for years to come. I let Pam win.” He chuckles. “I was not motivated by compassion. I have no compassion. Make sure you got that: ‘Not motivated by compassion.’”

If Dwight were capable of loving a gentle woman, Brian might believe he was in love with Pam. 

Later, when Pam’s sitting alone in the back breakroom, Brian pops his head in and says, “They weren’t your calling.”

She looks up, confused. “What?”

“You asked Jim, what would he call it if you’re not an artist and you’re not a salesperson. They weren’t your calling. You hated graphic design, and you hated sales.” He gives her a smile. “You gotta stop counting those as failures, Pam.”

He straightens up, giving her a wave, but she calls, “Hey!” and he pokes his head back in the doorway. “I like the beard.”

He rubs his face self-consciously. “Thanks.”

\---

At Christmas, Jim goes a little too far with one of his pranks on Dwight.

It starts the day of the Christmas party--Pam is excitedly planning her first Christmas bash as the Office Administrator, and Jim is excited about the first snow of the year. Dwight teases him for being a “little girl” about a dusting of snow, so Jim, to prove his point, makes a snowball out of the “dusting” and beams it at Dwight. It hits him square in the face, right in the middle of the office and in front of everyone. 

Dwight immediately challenges Jim to a snowball fight on the day of the first real snowfall of the season, and Jim accepts. 

Meanwhile, Toby brags about his jury duty--apparently he got assigned to the Scranton Strangler trial--and tells the office that in his absence, Holly Flax will be covering for him. Michael, beside himself with excitement, promptly cancels Pam’s party in favor of postponing it to the following week for Holly. “People, Holly’s coming back, and this is the most important Christmas party of my life, so back to work!”

\---

Michael plans a “classy” Christmas party for the following Monday, complete with a revamped Santa costume. Pam, on Michael’s dime, has gone all out on white and silver decorations to create a classy theme. 

Unfortunately for Jim, it’s also the first real snowfall of the year.

He and Pam agree to exchange gifts later, and Pam warns him that she didn’t have much time to work on it this year. But later, when she sits down for an interview, she tells Brian, “I’ve been working forever on Jim’s present. He always gives me the best Christmas gifts--he’ll take a memory or a private joke and he’ll create something totally unique, I love them. So this year, I made him something. A comic book.” She holds it up with a grin. “It stars Jimmy Halpert, a mild-mannered paper salesman who, while riding his bike through the forest, is bitten by a radioactive bear. Becomes Bear Man, wreaks havoc on the office. It’s really good!” 

The cover itself looks amazing, with Jim standing beside a bear in a typical comic book style. Brian can’t help but think of all the hand-drawn things he has stashed somewhere in his closet. 

Michael freaks out that Pam got a fake tree, so he sends her out with Andy to buy a real one. They enlist Darryl’s help, since he has a pickup truck, but Darryl’s in a bad mood because his daughter doesn’t want to spend Christmas with him.

Brian and Carmen accompany them to the tree lot, and when they all return, they realize pretty quickly that something went down between Dwight and Jim during their absence. 

They interview Dwight, who says, “Yes, something went down. Jim did. I hid in a snowman and ambushed him with snowballs. I even drew blood. I have no feeling in my fingers or penis, but I think it was worth it.”

Holly had also arrived while they were gone, so Pam goes with Phyllis and Kelly to catch up with her. The real reason is to gather information for Michael, who is depressed to find out that Holly is still dating A.J.

They follow Pam back into the main office, where Jim stops dead, staring at her with a frightened expression. They both realize at the same time that Dwight is sitting at Pam’s desk, wearing her cardigan and a Pam-like wig. He starts laughing maniacally and pelting Jim with snowballs. Brian sort of delights in the whole thing, Jim’s finally getting an intense taste of his own medicine. He’s always been a bit of a bully to Dwight.

Then during the party itself, Jim misfires with a lacrosse stick and ends up smashing one of the conference room windows, subjecting everyone to sub-arctic temperatures for the rest of the day.

Later, Dwight leaves a spring-loaded box on Jim’s desk, addressed to “Pickle” from “Swiss Cheese,” which are apparently Jim and Pam’s pet names to each other. “Didn’t think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all,” Dwight warns.

During this, Pam is busy helping Darryl plan fun activities for his daughter as well as keeping the party running smoothly. Everyone exchanges their Secret Santa gifts as Angela introduces her new boyfriend, State Senator Lipton. Everyone likes to emphasize the “state” part to Angela because it drives her crazy. And Oscar insists the Senator is gay.

Jim got Pam a tennis bracelet, which brings her to tears and makes her doubt her gift to him. But when he opens the comic, his face lights up and he can’t find the words to describe how much he loves it.

Michael ends up outside in the parking lot, and Pam goes to comfort him. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but A.J won’t commit to Holly. And she’s gonna tell him that if he doesn’t propose by the end of the year, it’s over.”

“Really?” Michael asks, surprised.

“Really. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t know of a lot of happy marriages that start out with an ultimatum, do you?”

“No.”

“So... just be patient.”

They walk back inside arm-in-arm, Michael looking hopeful for the first time all day.

Jim tries to surrender, but Dwight’s terms are unacceptable: “You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch.” 

“You’re a psychopath.”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Dwight says, smirking.

Jim hides out in the back breakroom for the rest of the party, reading his Bear Man comic and jumping at small noises. 

As the party starts to disband, Pam finally has a moment to hand out gifts to the crew. “Obviously this year I didn’t have time to hand-draw any cards, because I was working on Jim’s comic. But I hope you guys like the gifts anyway,” she says nervously. 

They do, of course. She gave them all little silver snowflake ornaments with ‘Classy Christmas 2010’ engraved on them, as well as store-bought cards with gift certificates to a local frozen yogurt shop inside. This is the first year that Brian’s gift is identical to everyone else’s, and he knows he should be relieved about that, but, well.

They film Jim and Pam leaving the office later, fully aware of Dwight’s snowman ambush in the parking lot. Brian would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy that just a little bit.

\---

Pam’s pet project, a New Years Resolution board, goes very badly. “Lesson learned,” she says as she tosses it into the dumpster at the end of the day.

\---

Andy holds a sales seminar in mid-January, and one of Jim’s grammar school classmates attends. Jim painstakingly avoids him all day, until Pam finally forces him to recount the saga.

“Here’s the story,” she tells them as they stand in the parking lot. “That guy in there is Jim’s childhood friend, Tom.”

“Tom Witochkin. One of my best buddies, actually.”

“And when they were both in the third grade, Jim was placed in the top reading group--”

“I was in blue group, so it was second from the top.”

“And Tom...”

“Was in green group.”

“And Jim’s mom suggested that Jim spend time hanging with the kids in his reading group, because she thought that they would be a good influence.”

“And that’s what I told him.”

“Right. But how’d you say it?”

Jim looks shamefacedly at the ground. “‘My mom thinks you’re too dumb to hang out with.’”

Well, it’s nice to know that Jim’s always been like this. Unfortunately, he gets caught in the breakroom when Tom comes in from the bathroom. Jim tries to hide, but it’s too late. 

“So you work here, huh?” Tom says conversationally, grinning.

“Sales,” Jim says with a frozen sort of expression. The guy is never good on his feet when he has the disadvantage.

“Must be a front for some kind of famous laboratory,” Tom says. “‘Cause you’re so smart.”

“Aw, man. You remember that, huh?” Jim says, aiming for nonchalance.

“Barely,” Tom replies. “I’m so dumb--stuff goes in, stuff goes out. Not like you--probably remember every paper sale you ever made. Paper salesman genius.”

Jim just looks into the camera, then makes an awkward exit. “All right, good catch-up!” 

All things being even, it was third grade, and Tom obviously has some issues with letting things go. Plus, considering the softball insults he was hurling, it’s pretty clear to Brian why Tom was placed in green group in the first place.

\---

Pam posts her doodles and creates a captioning contest, which is well-received by the office and promotes camaraderie, at least until Gabe steps in with ground rules. Then the captioning contest becomes about insulting Gabe, which also promotes camaraderie. 

Michael and Holly finally get back together on a rooftop somewhere in downtown Scranton.

\---

On Valentine’s Day, Pam and Jim celebrate at lunch instead of dinner, since they want to spend their evening with Cece. The crew quickly realizes that lunch included bottomless champagne, and that Jim and Pam are wasted. 

It’s Brian’s third time experiencing Drunk Pam, but by the end of the day, it’s his least favorite. 

Things are fine until multiple complaints about Michael and Holly’s PDA forces Gabe to hold an emergency meeting. He uses Jim and Pam as a perfect example of an office romance, because they have little to no physical contact during the workday. Then Dwight butts in with a confession: “I have had PDA in the office. I have had intercourse in the office. As has Angela, as has Ryan, as has Kelly, as has Meredith, as has Phyllis, as has Darryl, as has Creed, as has Michael, and as has Holly.” 

Dwight’s unwittingly listed all of the disturbing scenes Joe has left on the cutting room floor. 

This makes Jim and Pam self-conscious about the fact that they have not had sex in the office. Maybe it’s because they’re drunk, or maybe it’s because they’re scared of being perceived as boring, but whatever the reason, Brian has to follow Jim and Pam around as they try to scout the perfect place to have some office sex. 

It’s basically a walking nightmare.

After they realize Carmen and Brian are following them, they sit down for a frank discussion. “Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office.”

“No. Because the office isn’t what I consider a romantic place.”

“Besides, we have something those other people don’t have, which is a home. And a bed.” 

“And a shower,” Jim adds, laughing before he realizes Pam’s giving him a death glare. 

Now it actually _is_ a walking nightmare.

Brian and Carmen get sidetracked filming Kevin doing monkey impressions to cheer up Michael, and they lose track of Jim and Pam. It’s not until Michael and Holly are announcing their good news--Holly is moving in with Michael--that Jim and Pam emerge from the film closet, tousled. 

As if the day couldn’t get any worse for Brian. Who is married. Who shouldn’t still be wrestling with these feelings of envy and loathing. 

Somehow he feels more pathetic now than he did three years ago.

\---

Holly discovers the existence of “Threat Level Midnight,” a film Michael had started producing shortly after Pam had discovered his screenplay almost five years ago. Brian had been there on and off for a lot of the filming--all of the hostage scenes were done by he and Carmen, as well as principal photography and sound recording for “The Scarn”--but he’d always assumed the project would go unfinished. He was wrong.

Michael had used the same determination they’d seen for his local ad and finished the project a couple months ago, right before Holly had been transferred back to Scranton. The staff excitedly settles in for the premiere of the film, after a pep talk from Pam to keep their laughter to a minimum.

But Michael displays an amazing, albeit latent, moment of self-realization after Holly’s reaction to the film is lukewarm. He finally realizes that he has more going in his life than a movie he shot with his friends, but the movie itself is a testament to the close-knit relationship the office has fostered over the years. 

\---

Pam organizes a garage sale, with ten percent of the profits going to the party fund. Everyone enthusiastically participates, even Jim, who has an elaborate prank planned with “Mister Copperfield’s Miracle Legumes.” 

Michael, meanwhile, has decided to propose to Holly. Pam just barely manages to prevent him from setting the office on fire with his first proposal idea, giving him enough time to call Holly’s dad and ask for her hand in marriage. Unfortunately, this brings Holly to the realization that her dad’s memory is slipping... and that she should probably move back to Colorado to help take care of her parents. 

Jim, Oscar, Ryan, and Pam help Michael to prepare the perfect proposal, which includes candles and an accidental trip of the sprinklers. Somehow, at least to Brian, the proposal is a lot more touching than Jim’s was to Pam. It’s probably because all anyone’s ever wanted is for Michael to be happy. 

Then Michael announces that he’s moving to Colorado, and time seems to stand still.

\---

After Brian had regaled her with the story of Threat Level Midnight, Alissa had asked when they were going to have dinner with Jim and Pam again. “I mean, we go out with my friends all the time, but we never go out with yours.”

That’s because Brian’s always been a bit of a loner. It comes with the territory of constantly traveling for his job, and it’s not something he entirely hates. He’s perfectly content to have coworkers, acquaintances, casual friendships, and his wife; any other socializing seems superfluous to him. But Alissa has always been a social butterfly, constantly dragging him to dinner parties with her work friends or wine tastings with her sorority sisters. Brian does well enough blending in with the other haggard husbands who would rather be at home watching ESPN, so Alissa really has no idea how much he dislikes her social calendar.

Still, the idea of going out with Jim and Pam again was appealing, even if it was only to get Alissa to quit asking. So when he saw Pam alone in the annex, he seized his opportunity and asked if she and Jim were available for dinner later in the week.

They settle on State Street Grill, a bit of a dive but with the best burgers in town, on Thursday. Alissa is more determined to get to know Jim and Pam now that she’s got it into her head that they’re Brian’s only friends, but he doesn’t think anything of it until Alissa starts asking probing questions.

“So you were engaged to someone else before Jim?” 

Jim blinks, irritated as usual whenever the subject comes up, but Pam smiles easily and says, “Yes. For three years, can you believe it?”

Alissa laughs. “Speaking as someone who has never been engaged, no, I can’t.”

“Wait, you guys weren’t engaged?” Jim asks quickly. Brian recognizes this tactic: He’s changing the subject.

“Nope. We had a quickie wedding in Vegas last summer,” Brian says just as easily as Pam. “Didn’t Pam tell you?”

A tiny look of alarm passes over Pam’s face as Jim turns to look at her quizzically. “Oh--no, I don’t think I got a chance to,” she says, laughing. “I found out when we were stuck on that elevator with Dwight, remember that, babe?” 

“Oh right!” Jim says, his expression clearing up at the memory of pranking Dwight. “Yeah, a lot was happening that day.”

“Anyway,” Pam continues, turning her attention back to Alissa, “I called off the wedding to the first guy about four days beforehand.” 

“Aww!” Alissa simpers. “And you guys have been together since then?”

Pam barks out a laugh. “No! Actually, the year after that was pretty tough. Jim was with someone else, and most of my friends stopped calling because they were Roy’s friends too... I was starting a lot of new things... but I made it through because I had a couple of people keeping me sane at the time.”

She purposefully avoids Brian’s gaze, but he knows in his bones that she’s talking about him. He’s feeling that old glow all over again, the one he had for her back then, before Jim dumped Karen, before Alissa. Just knowing how much he meant to Pam back then is enough to make his heart beat faster. 

“You never told me about these people,” Jim says lightly. 

“I have a lot of secrets, Halpert,” Pam responds, flashing him a smile. “Are you jealous?”

“Jealous? Me? I never get jealous.”

“Oh yeah right!” Pam turns to Alissa. “This guy hates talking about my ex-boyfriends, or any men I’ve dated. It’s ridiculous.” 

“Hmm. Brian’s not really the jealous type,” Alissa says, glancing over at him. “Right, honey?”

“Yep.” _Except when Pam is involved._

His blood runs cold at the thought. He doesn’t get jealous over his own wife, but he turns into a green monster when Pam so much as talks to her husband. He shifts in his seat and clears his throat, inadvertently drawing Pam’s attention to himself. She gives him a confused look before he shakes his head slightly and turns back to the conversation. 

The rest of the meal goes off without a hitch; Pam seems to navigate the conversation anytime it veers too close to dangerous territory, and again, Brian finds himself admiring her prowess while simultaneously hating himself. 

He has a wife now. And he loves her, he really does. What he’s doing now is just plain unhealthy, and it needs to stop.

\---

The next week, Michael’s replacement begins his training. The film crew is in a bit of a dilemma, because they’ve assumed all along that the studio’s main interest was in Michael, but they haven’t gotten any instructions to stop filming. They continue as usual, even though they’re less enamored with DeAngelo than they ever were with Michael.

Jim and Pam think they have a leg up on the other staffers, because DeAngelo notices a picture of Cece and tells them that he has four kids of his own. But later in the day, he says, “Enough about your baby, okay?” This is just one of many ways that DeAngelo is failing to endear himself to his new staff. Sabre had chosen him, Michael hadn’t had a say in his own replacement. This doesn’t sit well with Michael, or with Dwight, who had assumed Michael had put in a recommendation for him.

Pam gets the idea to just bring in Cece and have DeAngelo meet her; she’s convinced it will get them back in with DeAngelo. The meeting appears to go well, but when Joe interviews DeAngelo later, he says, “I’m telling you, that baby could be the star of a show called ‘Babies I Don’t Care About.’” 

\---

Brian had expected Michael’s last Dundies to be emotional, even touching, but it turns out to be a fiasco. And this time, it’s not Michael’s fault. DeAngelo is intense and awkward, with crippling stage fright, and it gets them all kicked out of the swanky restaurant--but not before Erin publicly and ruthlessly dumps Gabe. Everyone convinces Michael to take it back to the office to finish, since it’s his last one, and they surprise him with a song. It brings him to tears. It brings them all to tears.

\---

Michael’s second to last day is very un-Michael-like. Brian feels uneasy as he watches Michael work his way down a list of his employees, handing them gifts and offering sage advice. He gets distracted when he and Carmen are waiting outside the bathroom for Jim--one second Andy’s going in, and the next, Gabe is chasing him down and threatening him at the sink. The whole thing is over before they can really figure out what just happened, and then Jim is emerging from the stall and giving them a dirty look. 

“So you guys are following us into the bathroom now?” he asks angrily in his talking head interview. Brian’s on his shit list for the rest of the day, but it doesn’t matter, because he and Carmen are going to follow Pam out to Carbondale to price shredders.

It takes her about twenty minutes to price them all. “Why did you need to come all the way out here?” Brian asks on a whim. “There’s a Staples in Dickson City.”

“I know, but I needed a little ‘me’ time,” Pam says. “I’m feeling a little frazzled, and Cece hasn’t been sleeping well.”

So they don’t question it when Pam goes to catch a matinee of The King’s Speech. They linger outside for about half an hour before Brian starts getting texts from Joe. 

_Call ASAP, emergency._

Fearing that Michael snapped and took everyone hostage, Brian hastens to call Joe back.

“Where are you guys?” Joe hisses.

“Still in Carbondale, why?”

“Michael just told us he’s leaving today at four. He’s looking for Pam.”

“What do you want me to do?” Brian asks. “You don’t want us to be involved, but if I tell her--”

“Just tell her she needs to get back here. Don’t tell her why.”

He hangs up, and Brian’s left wondering what to do next. “Hold this,” he tells Carmen, thrusting the boom mic at her as he peels off his sound bag. He jogs to the ticket window and buys one for The Kings Speech (“Dude, that movie’s already half an hour in, are you sure?”) and then hurries inside to find Pam.

She’s sitting in the middle of a mostly empty theater, nodding off. He doesn’t take it as a commentary on the movie itself, she did say she was exhausted. 

“Pam,” he whispers, shaking her shoulder gently. “Pam, wake up.”

“Brian?” she asks groggily, then shoots up in fright. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Is it Jim?”

“No, but... I can’t tell you why, but you need to head back to the office. Nothing’s wrong, but... you need to go,” he whispers. 

She blinks at him confusedly. “Okay...?” 

“Come on,” he says, grabbing her coat. She stands with him, putting her hand on his shoulder as he leads her out. 

They hit traffic on the way back, and they don’t make it back to the office until five minutes after four. Brian hopes Michael’s running late, but when they get upstairs, they find Jim in the lobby with red-rimmed eyes telling Pam she’s too late. 

“What?” 

“You just missed him. He just left for the airport.”

“He’s leaving today?” Pam asks, panicked.

“Yes--”

She spins around and hurls herself at the stairwell door without a second glance at Jim. Carmen and Brian, caught off-guard, stand there staring at Jim dumbly before he says, “She’s going to the airport. You better hurry.”

They catch Pam in the parking lot as she’s pulling out. Brian waves her down and she stops just long enough to let them into her backseat before taking off again. Brian climbs over the armrest into the front seat and asks, “What are you planning to do?”

“I have to say goodbye to him, Brian,” she says, taking a corner a bit too sharply. “You understand, you’ve been here all along.”

They keep quiet until they get to the airport, then they chase her inside as she spots Michael going through security. They hang back with Joe and Tyler and film as she catches up to him, her shoes in hand, and gets on her toes to hug him tightly. He says a few words to her, then walks away. 

Pam stands by the window and watches as the plane boards. Brian asks her softly, “Was he sad?”

She turns around, her eyes full of tears, and says, “No, he wasn’t sad. He was full of hope, about Colorado... and he was hoping to get an upgrade as an awards member.” She chokes up. “And he said that he was just really excited to get home and see Holly.”

They stay with Pam as she watches the plane take off, the four of them standing behind her silently as she cries. 

\---

DeAngelo’s past struggles with obesity reappear during Michael’s going-away party the next day, when he takes out three handfuls of cake and throws them in the trash. 

Dwight looks at Jim and says, “Uh oh.”

\---

Pam tries really, really hard to make DeAngelo like her. She had it easy with Michael, who treasured her, but DeAngelo isn’t interested. Angela thinks he’s misogynistic, which doesn’t seem farfetched, but it ends up being a non-issue when DeAngelo hurts himself in a basketball accident in the warehouse. He ends up with brain damage.

\---

The next week, Jo asks Jim if he would like to be interim manager until she finds someone to replace DeAngelo, but he turns down the offer because the office is running fine without one for now. So in a way, it’s Jim’s fault when Dwight gets the interim job.

\---

It’s sort of a tragedy; Brian had expected Dwight to recruit Pam to be his secret second-in-command again, but he doesn’t. It’s probably because she married his worst enemy. But maybe Pam would’ve prevented Dwight from firing a gun in the office and getting himself yanked from the manager position.

And that’s how Creed ends up as the next interim manager, since he has the most seniority. It might be Brian’s favorite thing that’s happened so far.

\---

On the last day of filming before summer, Jim, Toby, and Gabe head up a search committee to find a new branch manager. Brian’s a little upset--he rather likes watching Creed create new acronyms just for the sake of having acronyms. 

A lot of the candidates are not a good fit, but they interview Kelly, Andy, and Darryl as well. One guy named Robert California seems to leave an impression on everyone, though the crew can’t tell if that’s good or bad. 

Meanwhile, Angela gets engaged to the Senator, whom Oscar is still insisting is gay. Pam teases Angela gently that the Senator refers to himself in the third person, and Angela snaps, “Yes Pam, not everyone is as informal as you and Jim. ‘Uh, hey Pam, dude, whatever, wanna marry me?”

As everyone laughs, Pam mutters, “That’s not accurate...”

At lunch, Oscar confides in Pam that he has a strong suspicion the Senator is gay. “Did you see him at a bathhouse?” she asks, unfazed. 

“What bathhouse?” he asks, confused.

“The windowless building by the Baskin Robbins.”

“What?”

“Forget it. I’m never gonna know what goes on there.”

They sneak to Kelly’s desk to make some calls about bathhouses and the Senator, and then Ryan appears and asks if they’re talking about the Senator, and they react incredulously, asking why he would think that. “Because he’s totally gay,” he says to the camera as he walks away. When the crew presses him for more information, he says, “He ‘liked’ my Facebook photos at three o’clock in the morning.” 

Jo shows up later to put more pressure on the search committee to find a replacement, while Pam is preoccupied with distracting Creed from wreaking havoc. She spends the rest of the day trying to divert him.

By five o’clock, they still haven’t chosen a new manager. 

“Who do you think it will be?” Brian asks Pam. “Darryl?”

“I think they’ll go with an outside hire,” she says. “But at least Gabe’s leaving.” 

“Yeah,” Brian says. “At least there’s that.” 

She smiles up at him expectantly. 

“Well, I’ll see you in September,” he says, giving her a small wave.

“Wait--Jim and I are planning to have a barbecue for the Fourth... You and Alissa should come.”

“Oh--”

She whips out her phone. “What’s your number? I’ll text you the time, and you guys don’t need to bring anything.”

“I don’t--”

“No one from work will be there, and Jim and I would love it if you guys came,” she says, unconsciously rubbing her stomach. He doesn’t know why he notices that, but it makes him uneasy and eager to get out of her presence, so he gives her his number.

“Okay!” she says brightly. “I will see you then!”


	8. Think of What It Might Have Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the people who have been cheering me on. You know who you are. Your comments have been like shots of sunshine to my soul, thanks so much for sticking with this.
> 
> This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers.

The nice thing about Alissa’s job is that she has summers off. Since Brian’s current contract with Dunder Mifflin-Sabre functions in the same way, they have the option to travel or take up some crazy hobby for two and a half months. Last year, they’d gone to Vegas. This year, they choose to stay in Scranton. 

It’s been almost a year since they got married, and lately, Brian’s been feeling a little restless. He’d always wanted to have kids at a young age, but he’d given up on that dream somewhere along the way, probably around the time he fell in love with a woman who was in love with another man. But now he’s unexpectedly married and settled down at 31, and he finds himself picturing a little baby in his arms as he watches TV, or sitting on the floor and playing with a toddler.

Alissa is burned out from her job, and takes a full two weeks to stop complaining about “damn kids,” so he tactfully avoids the subject so as not to set her off. Luckily, it comes up naturally at Jim and Pam’s barbecue on the fourth of July.

Pam had texted him to show up around three, and that there would be plenty of beer, burgers, and margaritas. Alissa grudgingly agrees to go--she’d wanted to go to a mixer one of her old sorority sisters was throwing--and is in a bit of a mood when they get there to find the place overrun with kids. 

“Hey guys,” Jim says brightly, beer in one hand and Cece on his hip. “Come on in and help yourselves. There’s beer in the coolers on the back porch, and Alissa, if you want a margarita, the kitchen is straight through there.” He points with his beer hand as a small child darts around him in the direction of the living room, chased closely by a slightly bigger kid. 

Alissa heads off in search of liquor while Brian follows Jim out to the backyard, where about ten kids are taking it in turns to run through a sprinkler. Pam is off to the side, relaxing in the shade with a water bottle. She’s sporting a one-piece and when she spots him, she stands up with a glowing smile and says, “Yep. Surprise! A little Michael Scott!”

Pregnant. Again.

“I really hate that joke,” Jim says grumpily as he hands Cece to Pam and trots off toward the grill.

“I had a feeling you were pregnant,” Brian says, hugging her lightly--as in, he puts one arm around her but barely touches her, as if the pregnancy is contagious. 

“You liar--how would you have known?” she says, laughing. 

“You rubbed your stomach for the last four or five days of filming,” Brian says, touching his nose. “I’m onto you, Beesly.” 

“Oh my gosh, Pam!” Alissa says, coming up behind Brian with an already half-empty margarita glass. “Congratulations! How far along are you?”

“Almost five months,” Pam says, smiling at Alissa. “This one’s a monster, I think he’s gonna be bigger than Cece.” 

“Oh, so you already know it’s a boy?” Alissa asks. “Have you guys picked out a name?”

But Brian’s stopped listening because Pam just said five months, which means they conceived around Valentine’s Day, which means... 

Pam’s pregnant with a baby they conceived in the film closet. 

“Anyway, Jim’s getting the burgers off the grill now, and there are cupcakes inside,” Pam says when Brian finally returns to the conversation.

“Oooh, cupcakes,” Alissa says, taking off again. Brian suspects she just wants to get away from the screaming children, since most of the adults appear to be inside.

“I know what that expression was,” Pam says in an undertone. “You figured out when this happened.” She’s touching her stomach again as Cece gurgles happily on her hip.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice sounding croaky. 

“I told you once before that I kinda hate how you guys see everything,” Pam says sagely. “But it must suck for you to know all of our secrets, too.”

“It, uh... It kinda does,” he says, staring at her intently. 

For the first time in their long, twisted friendship, Pam seems to really see Brian for the first time. And true to form, as soon as she sees him, she looks away uncomfortably.

“Do you want some chips?” she asks, holding up the bowl she’d been snacking from. 

“Oh, no thanks,” he says. “I don’t eat carbohydrates.” 

“You’re one of _those_ ,” she says ominously, and just like that, they’re back to their easy banter. 

“Yes, I am, but it makes my life easier even if my wife hates it,” he says, laughing. 

“I would hate it too if I were her, this pregnancy is making me crave carbs all over the place,” Pam says, munching on another chip.

 _If I were her_ , the words echo in his brain like a warning. 

He spots a few familiar faces around the party: Pam’s sister is assembling margaritas in the kitchen, her mother is helping to keep appetizers in stock, and Isabel is playing with the kids. Truthfully, Brian hadn’t really thought about Pam and Jim outside of the office until now, but they have a pretty great life. Alissa seems to dislike the suburban vibe of it all--the sprinkler and the grill and the promise of firecrackers after dark. But Brian thinks their life is pretty much perfect.

As he drives home, exhausted and slightly sunburned, he asks Alissa, “What do you think about starting a family soon?”

“Soon?” she yawns. “I’m only 28. It seems a little fast, I guess.”

“Well, when would be good for you?” 

“I don’t know, Brian.”

He sighs. The silence stretches until they’re pulling into the driveway, then he asks, “Do you even want kids?”

She glares at him. “Not right now.”

“But... ever?”

“I don’t know.” She gets out of the car and stalks to the front door, digging out her keys.

He follows on her heels. “When were you going to tell me this?”

“I didn’t think it’d be an issue anytime soon!” she snaps as she opens the door and flips on the light to the front room. 

“I told you I wanted kids, though, so don’t you think you should’ve mentioned it?”

“Normal couples talk about this stuff before they get married!” Alissa yells. “What was I supposed to do, stop you in the middle of you moving in and say ‘Hey, by the way, kids might not be my thing.’” 

“It might’ve been nice to know so that I wouldn’t have spent this last year planning that life with you,” Brian retorts.

She shakes her head. “This is because of Pam, isn’t it?” 

He freezes. “What?”

“It’s because Pam’s pregnant, and she’s like your best friend or whatever, and you think you have to catch up with her or something--”

“That’s not--it’s not even a little bit true!” Brian says incredulously. “Other people’s kids shouldn’t have any bearing on our family, and that goes for your school kids as well!”

“Well it’s my job, Brian, and I don’t want to come home and have to deal with another baby after putting up with eighteen of them all day!”

He throws his hands in the air. “It wouldn’t just be ‘another baby,’ it would be _our_ baby.”

“The possession doesn’t change the fact that it’s a lot of work!” Alissa yells. “Besides, I don’t see you offering to cut back on your eighteen-hour days to help take care of it.” 

“I would if that’s what we’d need to do,” Brian says. “But you are starting to sound like you’ll never want kids!”

“Maybe I don’t!”

They stare each other down across the front room, Brian’s hands balled into fists as Alissa’s arms cross her chest. They stay like that for a full minute, until Alissa says, “I’m going to bed.” 

He sleeps on the couch that night.

\---

They don’t talk about it for days. Things are frosty at best between them, and they start avoiding each other. Brian’s been doing kickboxing over the summer, since he has more time to dedicate to workouts, and Alissa’s been shopping for new furniture for their guest room. She stops asking him to accompany her to Ikea and Bed Bath and Beyond, and he stops asking to have input on her design choices. 

About two weeks later, things have reached a breaking point. Brian comes home from the gym to find Alissa curled up on the couch in the front room, flipping through a design magazine. Without looking up, she says, “I finished the guest room.” 

He stares down at her, but she refuses to make eye contact. “Well, do you want to show it to me?” he asks a little sharply. 

She sighs and stands up, leading him down the back hallway to the third bedroom, the one that had been used as storage until a month ago when Alissa had decided her first summer project was to convert it into a guest room. She flips on the light and Brian gapes at the transformation. 

“Wow,” he mutters, stepping into the room. White furniture with blue linens and coral accents have replaced the old boxes and broken appliances that used to fill this dark room. She’d painted the walls a soft white and installed a new light fixture. Suddenly, it feels like he’s in some coastal paradise. “Ali, it looks... amazing.”

“Really?” 

He turns and finds her face softening as she stares at him from the doorway. Everything that built up between them seems to melt away as they lock eyes. “Really. It’s... it’s great.”

She smiles shyly as he approaches her and tentatively puts his arms around her. When she doesn’t resist, he nuzzles into her neck and breathes in her scent. “Mmm, I’ve missed you,” he whispers into her ear, making her shiver. 

Her hands come up under his shirt, her palms flat against his back. “I missed you too.”

“What say we break in this new bed?” he mutters between kisses along her neck.

“It’s the guest bed!”

“We’ll wash the sheets!” 

“We have our own bed,” she argues weakly even as he pulls his shirt over his head and throws it on the floor. She seems mesmerized by his naked torso, it’s always been her weakness. 

“Yeah, but I can’t wait long enough to get there,” he says as he pulls her backward. 

She doesn’t need any more convincing after that. They fall on the bed in a mess of tangled clothing and giggles and for a while, everything seems okay. It’s only afterwards, as the orgasm fades away and he watches her sleep, that he’s honest with himself. 

He will never be happy if he doesn’t have children.

\---

The crew returns to Dunder Mifflin-Sabre for filming in mid-September, and there have been a few staff changes. The story goes that Robert California was chosen as manager, but he decided to be CEO instead, and somehow talked Jo Bennett out of her own job. It’s farfetched and ridiculous, but the world of paper-and-printer sales seems pretty ridiculous to begin with, so the crew doesn’t question it.

Since Scranton was still in need of a branch manager, Robert decided on Andy Bernard for the position. Andy, with the anger management issues and the list of insecurities that is longer than Michael Scott’s. 

When the studio hears of the staffing change, they sign the crew up for one more year of filming, because it’s Andy Bernard. 

Pam and Jim formally announce their pregnancy to the film crew. She’s even bigger now, at nearly seven months, and she points at her stomach and says, “Little Michael Scott!”

Jim’s smile is frozen. “Nope, I told you, I don’t like that joke.” Oh, Jim and his jealousy issues.

They talk about how they found out early that it was a boy, and then Pam adds, “And I have to say, it is nice not being the only pregnant woman in the office.”

“Who else is pregnant?” Brian asks, surprised, but Pam’s waving for someone to enter the conference room as Jim stands up. It’s Angela, who looks like she might have eaten a big breakfast. 

“Look! It’s Little Pregs and Big Pregs!” Angela sing-songs, pointing to herself and then Pam. “Isn’t it amazing, the difference in our sizes?”

Pam spends most of the day crying over everything because of her hormones. When Erin discovers a mysterious list in Robert’s notebook that has the staffers split into two columns, Pam cries over all of the awful possibilities--mostly because she and Jim are in opposite columns.

In the course of the list-deciphering, they discover that Dwight has a chart of how the office would divide if they had to be in lifeboats. Strangely, Dwight lists himself with Pam, Angela, and Kelly. His life rafts list works the same way, only Karen is added to their list. So that’s something.

Jim is invited to lunch with Robert along with the other left-siders, leaving Pam crying at her desk. Andy tries to cheer the right-siders up with a pizza party, which makes Pam even more despondent. 

“I used to be young and cute and sort of funny, and I could do those cute little cartoons,” she cries. “And everyone who came through here was like, ‘Who’s that receptionist? I like her.’ Now I’m just a fat mom! And you take one look at me, and you’re like, ‘Oh, loser!’” 

Andy fails to comfort her, and she dissolves into sobs and runs into the women’s room. Everyone sits, staring at each other in stunned silence.

“You should go talk to her,” Carmen whispers as everyone eats their pizza. “Go.”

She pushes him in the direction of the breakroom, and he puts down his bag and boom mic before tentatively knocking on the door to the women’s room. “Pam?”

She’s sitting on the couch, crying uncontrollably, adorably large and still just as beautiful as ever. She looks up at him and asks, “Is Jim back?”

“No,” he says, letting the door shut behind him as he sits beside her. “I was just...” 

She looks at him expectantly as he searches for words. He’s gotten used to Jim always being around to fix Pam when she falls apart, but he’s at lunch and left his pregnant wife crying alone at her desk. 

“I was worried about you,” he says gruffly. 

“I’m just pregnant,” she says dismissively even through a new wave of tears. “You’ll understand once Alissa starts having kids.” 

It's a perfect opportunity to divert her--he could confess that he and Alissa are at odds about that, and that it has him worried for their future. But it seems unfair to air his marital problems out for the sake of diversion, so he settles for a faint chuckle. 

“Yeah, but... you know no one thinks you’re a loser, right?” he asks softly. “I mean, starting with Jim, he certainly doesn’t think that.”

“Jim has to think that, he’s married to me.”

“I don’t think you’re a loser, and I’ve seen everything,” Brian says. “And you’re so much more than that cute receptionist who used to draw things. Now you’re a mom! You’re an office manager!”

She laughs and wipes her eyes. “Brian... what would I do without you?” she asks quietly. 

“You'd probably have a lot less stress in your life, since you wouldn’t have a camera following you around,” Brian says lightly, too afraid to let that moment be real. He feels frightened all the time now, like he’s on a tightrope. 

She goes back to her desk just before the left-siders return from their lunch, haughty and mocking. Andy fixes the problem by making a stand for the right-siders to Robert, calling Pam “creative and kind,” which disgusts Dwight, but Pam glows. 

She glows even more when Jim makes his own list, with Pam, Cece, and the new baby in one column, and “everything else” in the other. 

\---

Angela proposes that she and Pam take walks together twice a day. They don’t go well--apparently Angela has already placed a call to Social Services about Pam’s drinking herbal tea during pregnancy, “In mugs with trace amounts of coffee!”

“You know, maybe we should have our own pregnancies and not pretend like we’re in this together,” Pam says.

\---

When the entire warehouse staff wins the lottery and quits, it leaves Darryl in a funk and causes the office staff to speculate on what they would do if they won the lottery. Jim and Pam get into an argument about their conflicting dreams (she would have Jim be a barista, and he would own a kayak shop that he could bike to) and it gets Meredith to start chanting, “Get a divorce! Get a divorce!” Everyone giggles at that. Sometimes Jim and Pam can be pretty annoying.

\---

Andy decides to throw a garden party at Schrute Farms. It takes an intense round of questioning for the staff to glean that this party is Andy’s attempt to impress his parents and Robert California in the same place, so naturally, it doesn’t seem like a very good plan. 

Dwight’s being duped by Jim, who published a garden party how-to book under the penname “James Trickington,” but at this point, if Dwight hasn’t caught on to such things, then it’s not up to the crew to warn him. Besides, Dwight stays true to the false rules and his party ends up being a charming event, even if Andy’s parents are terrible people. In all, it’s an enjoyable afternoon. 

\---

Pam believes in ghosts, which Jim hates. He teases her mercilessly and asks her to draw a picture of the one she saw, but she draws a hand giving him the finger instead. 

Halloween kind of sucks when Michael Scott isn’t there to make it interesting. Instead, Robert California just brings everyone down.

\---

In early November, Robert tells Andy to figure out a way to prevent so many mistakes around the office. Andy, still doubting himself, turns to Dwight for help. Dwight’s plan is a “doomsday device,” as Jim calls it, and it only allows for five mistakes before it sends Robert a copy of every scathing email the staff has sent about him. They activate the device on the first day.

Andy begs Dwight to deactivate the device before the automatic email goes out at five o’clock, but Dwight refuses, still bitter about being passed over for the manager position for Andy. He goes home without another word. 

Andy decides to send Jim after Robert to intercept the email, while he, Pam, Kevin, and Erin drive out to Schrute Farms to try to talk some sense into Dwight. Brian and Carmen follow the group out to the farm, where they find Dwight digging a horse grave. Andy begins begging again, but Pam interrupts him and asks Dwight if he needs help, which he grudgingly accepts.

After the hole is dug, Kevin is splayed out on the ground, exhausted. Pam asks if they can come inside for some water, and Dwight ends up serving them all cabbage pie as they chat about farm life and the house itself. At one point, Pam spills a bit of pie on herself and Erin points it out. 

“Oh! Oh well. Pobody’s nerfect, right?” she laughs.

“Did you just have a stroke, Pam?” Dwight asks gruffly. “It’s ‘nobody’s perfect.’ Nice stroke, Pam.”

“No, it’s a jokey saying. ‘Pobody’s nerfect’? Like, I can’t even say those words right?” she explains, still laughing.

Dwight mulls it over, then says, “I haven’t heard that before. That’s... that’s funny.” 

Andy’s getting antsy as it gets closer to the end of the workday, and at five minutes to five, he begins to panic as Pam keeps diverting the conversation. Brian’s marveling at it, because he’s pretty sure this is what their double-dates with Jim and Alissa would look like to an outsider: Pam subtly but firmly steering the conversation with purpose.

“Just don’t talk about the email, okay?” she whispers to Andy. “He’s gonna cancel it on his own, I really think he will.”

“That’s insane!” Andy says hysterically.

“Just trust me!”

“Trust you, like I trusted Dwight this morning?”

“I got this!”

Andy freaks out wordlessly as Dwight comes back in with the milk, and they continue to make small talk about the benefits of goat milk over cow milk, and then it’s five o’clock. 

As they leave, Dwight calls after them, “Sive drafely,” and Pam smiles and waves back at him.

“They’re not my favorite people in the world,” Dwight tells Brian after they’ve gone. “I wouldn’t even call them friends. They come over here, eat my pie, dig the crappiest horse grave you’ve ever seen... God. I’m gonna have to work with them forever, aren’t I?”

But Pam’s tactic worked: Dwight stopped the email.

\---

Her friendship with Dwight takes a more intense turn during her last week before maternity leave. They’ve hired a temp, Cathy, to cover for Pam while she’s gone, and Cathy is young and objectively hot. Jim makes the mistake of setting Pam off early in the day, when Ryan stops by to ask him if he thinks Cathy is single. He replies, “I doubt it,” which makes Pam suspicious. 

“Why do you doubt that she’s single?” Pam asks, in a tone that instantly puts Brian on edge.

Jim, as usual, is horrible at lying to her. “Honestly, I have no idea. I just figured we’d save her from Ryan, right?” 

She laughs with him, but the thought’s already in her head and she’s not letting it go anytime soon. 

During break, everyone’s talking about Cathy and the new dynamic she brings to the office atmosphere, and Pam takes on a wounded puppy voice as she says, “Yeah, it’s gonna be nice to have someone hot at Pam’s desk, huh?” 

Everyone protests strongly, and she relents and says she was joking, acknowledging that Cathy is very cute. They all shower Pam with compliments until it becomes too much for Dwight. “No! There are universal biological standards of beauty and attraction, and you are purposefully celebrating the opposite of them to mollycoddle a pregnant woman!”

They all deny this, but Pam seems oddly comforted by Dwight’s words. In her interview, she explains, “The thing about pregnancy is people treat you differently. Like you’re a kid, almost. They lose all sense of boundaries, they start acting weird, telling you things that clearly aren’t true. I know it sounds nuts, but I think Dwight is the only one who is telling me the truth.”

“That’s not nuts,” Brian says. “Dwight has no reason to lie to you.”

“What about you?” Pam asks. “Do you think Cathy’s hot?”

“Objectively, sure,” he says, grinning at her. “But she’s not my type.”

Mollified, Pam heads back to their desk clump, where Jim’s working, and asks him again if Cathy is hot. 

“Nope.”

“I’m not asking if you’re into her. Just, objectively, do you find her attractive?”

“And I’m telling you, I don’t.” Lies.

“You don’t find Cathy attractive?” Pam asks in disbelief.

“No, I don’t,” he lies again, he’s terrible at it. 

“Look at her!” Pam says, pointing to where Cathy is rooting around the supply shelf. “Even I want some fries with that shake.”

Jim’s sensing imminent danger and decides to make a quick exit. “Okay, well, I don’t, so are we good?” He hurries away as if Pam is on fire and chasing him. 

“That’s just absurd,” Dwight mutters to himself after Jim’s gone. 

“Yes, because she’s hot, right?” Pam says hurriedly. 

Dwight proceeds to list the ways Cathy is an adequate reproductive partner, and Pam smiles and nods at him like he’s suddenly her favorite person in the world. “Dwight,” she says determinedly, “Am I hot right now?”

“Why would I or anyone else think that you’re hot right now? I can’t impregnate you, and that’s the driving force between male-female attraction.”

“What about before? Was I attractive before?” 

He’s lying if he says no, Brian decides. But Dwight is anything but a liar. “Meh... You were at your most attractive when you were 24, with a slight gradual decline and a steep drop-off when you got pregnant for the first time. Gradual recovery, and... well now, obviously, you’re at an all-time low.”

Oddly, even when Dwight’s insulting her, it’s endearing.

Pam appreciates the honesty, and confides, “I think Jim’s lying to me about not being attracted to Cathy.”

Dwight scoffs. “You think Jim’s lying? Huh. That’s so cute. I _know_ he’s lying.”

“Five bucks if you can get him to admit it,” Pam says succinctly. 

“Done.” 

She holds up her hand for a high-five, but Dwight says, “I never touch a pregnant woman.”

Pam, undeterred, crows, “Yep, that’s the Dwight I need!”

They go into the breakroom to coordinate. It oddly looks like the way Dwight and Angela used to coordinate, with Dwight pretending to buy a soda and Pam sitting at a table staring off in the opposite direction.

“If we’re gonna work together, we’re gonna need some ground rules,” he mutters against the vending machine. 

“Okay.”

“Rule One: Our only loyalty is to the truth.” 

“I think so,” she whispers. “Okay.”

“Rule Two: We stop at nothing.”

“Well, what does that--wh--is it---well--okay.”

“Rule Three: Don’t fall in love,” Dwight says firmly. 

“Yep, good,” Pam immediately agrees. 

They do a joint interview after this, which is something Brian’s never seen before, and he rather likes it. 

“We’re gonna bust this guy,” Dwight says excitedly.

Pam nods. “Honesty is very important to me.”

“So important,” Dwight agrees. “And then we’re gonna destroy the man himself.”

“Let’s just see how we feel when we get there,” Pam says softly. 

Their first plan is to go to Kelly, who devises a matchmaker test wherein Pam asks Jim to set Cathy up with one of his friends. If he chooses one of his hot friends, then he thinks Cathy is hot. 

Unfortunately, Jim’s ahead of the game on that one, giving Pam the name of one of his most nondescript friends, which personally offends Kelly. 

“I don’t see what’s so ugly about him,” Dwight argues. “He’s got the broad face of a brewer.”

“Jim’s onto me,” Pam says. “Yeah, Jim barely talks to Mike. We had to go through, like, two levels of friends to even find his profile. Jim picked someone just unattractive enough to shut me up without tipping it.”

“Just ugly enough to have deniability,” Dwight says, catching on. 

“Yep.”

“Well, Jim might be lying with his words, but he can’t lie with his body.”

“I’m gonna write something mean on his wall,” Kelly says, still deeply offended by the ugliness of Mike Tibbetts. Brian’s on Dwight’s side, Mike isn’t actually unattractive, but Kelly thinks he should invest in hair plugs.

“No, Kelly, don’t,” Pam protests, but Dwight's focused on his new plan.

“The male reveals attraction through unconscious and involuntary physical signs: the puffing of the chest, mirroring, increased bloodflow to the crotch... I say we start there.”

Kelly and Pam both ask, “With the crotch?”

Dwight smirks. “With the crotch.”

He and Pam lurk by Creed’s desk as they watch Jim interact with Cathy. Now, Pam’s pregnant, hormonal, and incredibly insecure about her body, but even Brian is a little surprised by how comfortable Jim seems with Cathy. Considering the guy practically spits nails whenever the name “Roy” comes up in conversation, Brian thinks it’s a little ridiculous that Jim isn’t taking care to keep things formal and professional with Cathy. 

“Is he puffing out his chest?” Pam whispers. 

“I can’t tell, it’s unnaturally sunken,” Dwight mutters back, and it’s all Brian can do not to laugh out loud at that one.

Jim and Cathy laugh over something, and Dwight says, “Oh, busted, he just was mirroring, did you see that?” 

“No, maybe he just said something funny.”

“Jim has no discernible sense of humor, Pam, you should know that,” Dwight says shortly. 

“I think he’s just making her laugh,” Pam argues, craning her neck for a better look.

“Time for me to find out,” Dwight says, slinking away as Pam continues to stare. 

“Why is he making her laugh so much?” she mutters to herself.

What ensues is ridiculous and hilarious: Dwight pretends to trip and fall and grabs for Jim’s crotch four times. Jim’s upset and agitated, apologizing to Cathy as he tells Dwight to walk away. 

“Does your husband have very soft erections?” Dwight asks Pam once Jim’s not paying attention to him anymore. Somehow, Brian thinks that marriage would have more problems if that was the case. “Because if not, I just grabbed a very soft penis for nothing.”

Pam sits in the conference room for another interview, but she’s uninterested in talking. 

“Why was he making her laugh so much?” she whispers, staring off into space.

“Pam...” Brian starts, trying to reassure, sensing she’s crossed over to irrational territory.

“Don’t, Brian.” She waves her hands in frustration. “Just don’t.” 

She’s on edge for the rest of the afternoon, even snapping at Cathy. When Jim just looks at her quizzically, she asks, “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Why won’t you just admit that she’s attractive? It’s kind of annoying that you won’t say it,” Pam says in a rush, her eyes wide with the crazy. 

“Okay, what can I do to make you believe me?” he asks.

“Well Dwight had this idea, and I thought it was kinda crazy, but maybe that’s where we are now.”

The idea is that they use a blood pressure machine at the local drugstore as a makeshift lie detector. It’s not that crazy, on a scale of matchmaking to grabbing a flaccid penis, but it’s been sort of a crazy day. They sit down with Jim for an interview right before they leave, and Brian asks if he’s ever going to tell Pam the truth. 

“No, I am not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I’m not gonna tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It’s true, but it doesn’t help anybody.”

Except Pam’s always prized honesty over protecting her feelings, and Jim never seems to respect or acknowledge that. But what does Brian know? He’s just an outside observer.

After the test at the drugstore is concluded, Dwight declares that Jim is lying about Cathy. “In fact, he’s lied about every question, even his name.” He grabs Jim by the shirt and demands, “Who are you really?”

“Wait, what?” Pam asks. 

“Look at the numbers, every time it’s come up 150 over 100. Your husband is a pathological liar.”

Except he’s not. Well, not pathological. He _is_ a liar. But Dwight’s test is wrong, because all the machine has proved is that Jim has stage 1 hypertension, same as his father.

And just like that, Pam’s Cathy obsession switches to an obsession over Jim’s health. She pulls him out of the drugstore, making plans to call his doctor and rubbing his back reassuringly. 

In a way, Pam’s hormones and Dwight’s insanity might have saved Jim’s life that day.

\---

She fakes going into labor about six times a day, just to get out of uncomfortable situations. Then one Monday morning, Erin shares the news that Pam had given birth over the weekend. 

\---

This time around, Brian finds Pam’s maternity leave downright boring. The crew doesn’t get Christmas gifts for the first time in eight years. Robert brings in his wife to pretend to find a job for her, only to end with their separation. And finally Robert, who is selling his house as a result of the separation, throws a Bacchanalia-like pool party, during which Jim is anything but gracious.

It’s kind of a relief when Dwight goes to Tallahassee, Florida, for an interview for a manager’s position with Robert, and an argument erupts within the film crew. No one wants to go, because no one wants to follow Dwight on a wild goose chase. Joe doesn’t think to ask Brian if he wants to go, he’s so used to Brian sticking with Pam, so when Brian volunteers to go, everyone is surprised.

“Are you sure?” Joe asks. “We can send Quin...”

Quin throws his arms up in frustration behind Joe, but Brian intervenes before another argument breaks out. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve been in Scranton for a while, and I’ve spent time in Tallahassee before. I’d like to go.”

Carmen jumps at the opportunity, so the next day, they’re on a plane with Dwight, bound for Tallahassee.

They land at a small airport and are hit with a sudden wall of humidity. “What is this?” Carmen asks in disgust. “It’s the middle of January, why is it so hot here?”

“I like it,” Dwight says bluntly. “Good for your skin.” 

They head for their hotel, which is only about a mile away from Sabre, and drop off their stuff. Dwight’s appointment is at two o’clock, so Brian and Carmen unpack their gear and share a cab with Dwight.

“Animals, machines, vast virtual armies... all of these things, I have successfully managed. The only thing I haven’t managed is people,” Dwight says in his interview outside the Sabre office. “I saw an ad on the Sabre website for an open manager position in their printers division. I spoke to Robert California about it, and he said for me to come by and see him sometime. So, like a Spanish Conquistador, I have come to Florida to claim what is rightfully mine.”

Brian lowers the boom and says, “Good luck, man.”

Dwight pauses, giving Brian an appraising look. “You know, Carl... I think you might actually mean that.”

You win some, you lose some.

They follow him up through the crowded building to Robert’s office, where they find Gabe sitting at his desk. Robert appears a few minutes later and is clearly surprised to see Dwight standing there. “You made it. Impressive initiative. I don’t know what’s worse, the trip or the destination.” 

Dwight doesn’t respond to that, to his credit. Brian remembers a Dwight that would’ve denied saying anything remotely positive about Tallahassee if he thought it would ingratiate him to his superior. 

Only about ten minutes later, Robert blows off Dwight and tells him to meet with the COO, Bill. Unbeknownst to Dwight, Robert then calls Gabe and tells him not to contact Bill, but to listen to Dwight’s pitch himself and make him feel valued. 

Maybe it’s because being around Pam has exposed Brian to a softer, more human side to Dwight, or maybe it’s because Brian genuinely likes him; either way, Brian’s offended on Dwight’s behalf that Robert couldn’t spare twenty minutes to let Dwight do an interview. 

In the middle of his pitch, Dwight twists Gabe's arm and smashes his face on his desk, demanding to know where Robert California lives. 

Gabe directs them to a long-term stay business condo complex on the outskirts of town, where Dwight proceeds to scream Robert’s name in the courtyard until the man himself appears. He allows them all into his condo, which is surprisingly small and sparse for a CEO’s residence, and continues to wrestle with his trainer, Stu. 

Dwight looks as horrified as Brian feels, but things get even more ridiculous when Robert only has Oreos to offer as refreshment, which he arranges on a platter and presents to Dwight as if they are delicacies. This man is a CEO, but he doesn't appear to live like one.

Dwight begins his pitch, but Robert doesn’t let him get far before he shuts him down again. How this man hasn’t run Sabre into the ground is beyond Brian. 

“Your drive, your ambition, it would be wasted on a manager’s job. And Florida? You don’t want to live here. Even I don’t want to live here, that’s why I’m always at my place in Scranton. Florida is America’s basement: it’s wet, it’s filled with mold, strange insects, alligators--alligators are dinosaurs, Dwight! You know that, right?”

“N... It’s complicated,” Dwight says with the measured tone of a man who is trying to talk sense to an insane person.

Robert then ups the ante on his bullshit, trying to give Dwight a medal his grandfather had supposedly won for bravery. And Dwight would’ve fallen for it once, and almost falls for it now, but then he fixes Robert with a glare and says, “It’s a job interview. Not a flea market.”

Robert puffs up his chest. “Dwight, the job is not right for you. Now, when something comes along that is right for you, I’ll try you out.” 

Dwight smiles, satisfied. 

“Now get the hell out of my place.”

“Yes.” 

They follow Dwight out into the hall, where he gives the camera a satisfied smile. “I got what I came for.” 

They grin back at him, somehow on his side for the first time in years. Brian retracts his boom pole and says, "Come on, man. Let’s all go get dinner at TGI Fridays, I saw one right by the hotel.” 

Later, over beers and an appetizer of loaded potato skins, Dwight says, “I don’t know why Robert hates this place so much. I don’t really mind it.” 

“I think Robert hates everything,” Brian says. “He hates himself.” 

Dwight mulls that over and then nods. “Anyway, I thought I would have time to explore the city I’m going to live in one day. At least see a beach or something.”

“It would’ve been so cool to see a beach,” Carmen agrees. She’d confided to Brian on the plane that she’s never seen the ocean, even in all her years traveling for work. 

“You know... our flight isn’t until one o’clock tomorrow,” Brian says slowly. “If we get up early enough, we can see the beach.” 

Carmen brightens, and Dwight, not prone to excitement, only nods his agreement 

So they get up early and check out before seven, then wait as Brian rents a car for the day. They load in their stuff and head south, toward the Gulf of Mexico. 

“Lots of roadside stands selling honey,” Dwight remarks as they pass through small towns on back roads. “I guess there’s not a lot of beet farming down here.”

“No, I guess not,” Brian agrees. 

“Where are we going, anyway?” 

“St. Marks. It’s a nature preserve, but it’s the closest beach.”

“How do you know this?” Dwight asks suspiciously. 

“I did a film project here about ten years ago,” Brian says wistfully. “And we had a few beach scenes. That was back when I did camera work.”

“Hmmph,” Dwight says, but not grumpily. He goes back to watching the trees whizzing by him, always on the lookout for farm houses, haunted-looking oak trees, and interesting landmarks. 

They get to St. Marks around 8:30, parking in a gravel parking lot and getting out by a lighthouse. 

“Wow,” Carmen breathes, and Brian tries to remember the first time he ever saw the ocean. 

Even Dwight’s face is transformed as they take in the view. They spend an hour exploring around the lighthouse and walking along the shore, tossing stones into the lapping waves and kicking up sand. By the time they get back into the car and head to the airport, Dwight’s even calling Brian by his proper name. 

Somehow, he’d accidentally made a friend. Or at least an ally.

\---

The next week, Jim is gone on jury duty for five days. Dwight declares the office “peaceful, with a lot less stupidity” when he remarks on the absence of the Halperts, but everyone else seems to be negatively affected. Stanley has to stay at work until six on Wednesday and Thursday, helping to cover Jim’s clients. Darryl gets reamed for a shipment that Jim missed, and Phyllis visits one his clients on Thursday and gets t-boned in the parking lot, “I had to get it detailed and they took my meter change!” 

When Jim returns the following Monday, Dwight is suspicious as soon as Jim starts regaling everyone with his five-day hit-and-run case. It’s only mid-afternoon before Dwight catches Jim in a lie and the whole thing comes unraveled; in the end, Jim even manages to take Andy down with him. 

“I did get called into jury duty,” Jim explains in his interview. “And they released me around noon, so I didn’t think it was worth it to come back to work for a half-day. And then the next morning, Pam was a little overwhelmed with the kids, so I took an extra day to help out. And then... three other days happened.”

Everyone’s pretty disgusted with Jim for his lie, so he calls in reinforcements--Pam and his kids--to help ease their anger. It appears to have backfired as everyone gets even angrier, but Cece senses the tension and bursts into tears, which sets Philip off. Suddenly the office is filled with cries and everyone’s grimacing in sympathy. When Jim says he’ll be right back, everyone, even Stanley, tells him to take the rest of the day. 

Pam looks amazing. 

\---

Pam and Angela both return from their maternity leave on Valentine’s Day, even though Angela just had her baby a week ago. (Dwight swears the child is his.) As Pam is catching up on her work with Jim, Dwight gets some news from Andy that makes him break into air-karate. Turns out, he’s been assigned his own special project in Tallahassee. 

“The Schrutes have a word for when everything in a man’s life comes together perfectly,” he says in his interview. “‘ _Perfectenschlag_.’ And right now, I am in it. I finally get a chance to prove myself to corporate. I am assembling a competent team. I am likely a father. I am so deep inside of _perfectenschlag_ right now. And just to be clear, there is a second definition, ‘perfect pork anus,’ which I don’t mean.” 

When they wrap, Brian congratulates Dwight on his _perfectenschlag_ , and Dwight says, “Thank you, Brian,” with sincerity.

A few minutes later, Dwight leans across his desk and says, “Pam, pack your postnatal swimwear--make it a one-piece or this offer is rescinded--and join me for a fantastic barbecue one week from today in Tallahassee, Florida, where I’m going to be living for the next three weeks.” 

“Really?” Pam says, contemplating the offer before turning to Jim. “I’ll fly anywhere for some good barbecue.”

“Oooh, me three!” Jim agrees. 

Dwight makes a buzzer noise. “No plus-ones! This is for competent workers only.” He addresses Pam again, “And don’t worry about the cost, Sabre is footing the bill.”

“Does this have anything to do with what you were talking to Andy about?” she asks.

“God, you’re such a spy!” Dwight says in disgust as he stands up to start assembling his “crack team.” 

“I guess I should be flattered that Dwight thinks I’m competent,” Pam remarks as she goes back to her work.

“Should you, though?” Jim asks. A moment later, his phone trills and he says, “I just got a text from Robert California that says ‘Bring your clubs to Florida.’” 

“Why? Does he think you’re going to Florida?”

“I hope not,” Jim chuckles. “Because I am not going.”

He and Pam argue over how to respond (“Two question marks is kind of aggressive. You know, like ‘Wh-WHAT?’ Just do one.”) before settling on a reply that explains Jim’s commitment to help Pam with the kids. Robert’s immediate reply: “LOL.”

Meanwhile, Dwight’s picks for Tallahassee are rejected by Andy, because apparently Darryl, Phyllis, Toby, Angela, and Oscar are too essential to the office. Instead, Andy proposes sending Darryl and Phyllis along with Cathy, Kelly, and Kevin. 

“Andy just gave me a chain with three weak links!” Dwight fumes. “Have you ever tried to use a chain with three weak links? I have, and now I no longer own an Arctic wolf.”

Dwight responds by “leaking” the list and whipping everyone into a frenzy, until Andy is forced to conduct interviews with everyone who is interested in going to Florida. 

Pam and Jim agonize over the Robert California situation until Pam finally says, “I think you need to go to Florida.”

“I think you’re right.”

“It’s only for three weeks,” she says helpfully. “And with my mom and sister at the house, it’ll be--”

“A total nightmare.”

Pam looks annoyed. “I was going to say, ‘Good, because I’ll have all the help I’ll need.’”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. They’re incredibly helpful, you’re lucky to have them. I mean, with them there, you probably won’t even know I’m gone.”

“Exactly,” Pam says, grinning. 

Cathy’s getting a soda out of the fridge and glances at the couple before leaving the room. It’s a weird look, to Brian’s mind, but it happened so fast that he sort of doubts what he saw.

In the end, Andy decides to send Stanley, Ryan, Erin, Cathy, and Jim to Tallahassee. Dwight’s reaction to each name is more and more violent, until finally, he goes into the conference room and lets out a feral scream. 

He holds a Florida orientation, complete with a humidifier and mosquitoes, in an attempt to dissuade some of the team from going. Brian’s favorite part is the photo of Casey Anthony on the wall. Ultimately, Dwight fails to talk any of them out of going, and by the end of the day, he seems happy with the team he’s assembled. “ _Perfectenschlag,_ ” he says triumphantly. 

Joe approaches Brian in the film closet and says, “You gonna be able to handle everything here while I’m gone?”

“Yes,” Brian replies slowly. “You’re taking the assignment?”

“Yeah, and I’m taking the backup unit with me, just in case.” Joe gives him a hard look. “Don’t do anything stupid while we’re gone.”

He leaves the room without another word. 

“Stupid?” Brian mutters to himself, wondering what Joe was insinuating. 

\---

In Erin’s absence, Pam refuses to cover reception. It’s a bugaboo with her, she’s always afraid she’ll be stuck there, so Andy ends up covering the desk and getting rather attached to it.

\---

The second week, the staff has to stay late to process the accounts of the special project people. Pam and Andy make a valiant attempt to keep things fun, but things don’t get interesting until Andy has Jamaican food brought in. The guy who delivers it is the boyfriend of Val, the new warehouse manager and the person Darryl’s been crushing on for the past few months. Things blow up when Brandon accuses Darryl of sleeping with Val.

Pam advises Darryl to go for it with Val, because she and Jim never would’ve gotten anywhere if he hadn’t made the first move. Brian hates to be reminded of that.

Things wrap up at around 8:30, and Brian is so exhausted that he only eats dinner before heading straight for bed.

He wakes from a dead sleep to his phone ringing on his nightstand. He fumbles for it as Alissa groans and rolls away from him, and he doesn’t even check the ID before answering it with a groggy, “Hello?”

“Brian, it’s Jim.”

He takes a moment to process the voice on his phone... at ten thirty at night. 

“Jim?”

“Yeah, listen--”

“What are you--?” Brian’s sitting up straight, suddenly frightened that Jim’s somehow found out about his feelings for Pam... from Tallahassee... telepathically? He rolls out of bed and steps into the hall so that he doesn’t further disturb his wife.

“Look man, I’m in trouble here. Cathy keeps coming on to me, and it looks really bad--Dwight and Stanley have already seen her in my room, and Joe is doing nothing to dissuade her--”

“He has a very strict policy for us,” Brian says slowly. “We aren’t supposed to manipulate the story.”

“This isn’t a story, this is my marriage!” Jim explodes. “There has to be something you can do, something you can say--”

“Jim, everyone knows you would never cheat on Pam,” Brian says. “Where is Joe, anyway?”

“He and Tyler are inside still filming Cathy--I’m out on the patio--Brian, please, I’ll never ask for your help again--”

“He’s my boss, Jim, my hands are tied.” Brian mulls it over. “I mean she can’t be that bad, she sat at your wife’s desk--”

“She’s turned into some kind of horny monster,” Jim hisses in frustration. “She’s pretending she’s not hitting on me but she’s wearing a robe and I already tried to get Dwight to eradicate her--”

“Look, the best I can do is get Joe to vouch for you if Pam ever finds out,” Brian says honestly. “Just keep pushing her away and eventually she’ll leave you alone. Why is she in your room anyway?”

“If you’re just going to ask me stupid questions then I don’t know why I even bothered,” Jim snaps before hanging up.

Brian crawls back into bed, grinning to himself at the mental image of Jim jumping out of his skin while Cathy comes on to him. It is funny to think about, since he knows Jim would never do that to Pam, but at the same time, he let her into his room...

Before he falls asleep, he decides to call Joe tomorrow, just in case Jim’s side of the story isn’t accurate. 

\---

The one day Brian has a dentist appointment, Pam gets attacked by kids in the parking lot. Andy comes to her defense, but sustains a black eye from the ordeal. In order to save face, Pam helps concoct a story about a gang of some sort, but their cover is blown when one of the mothers brings their daughter in to apologize to Pam and Andy.

After the whole demoralizing self-defense seminar, which ends with everyone ganging up on Toby, Andy sits at Jim’s desk and tells Pam, “I’m sorry you got dragged into this. And I’m sorry you got attacked by kids.”

“Thanks for intervening,” she says gratefully. “It was really brave.”

“Well I just asked myself, ‘What would Jim want me to do?’” Andy grins. “You must miss him a ton.”

Her smile fades a bit as Andy gets up and heads back into his office. “Yeah, I do,” she mutters to herself. 

“Hey Pam,” Brian whispers as Carmen moves to follow Andy. “If it makes you feel better, I hear Jim gave an amazing performance at the Sabre store today. Even wore eyeliner.” 

Her face brightens. “Brian, I’ll love you forever if you get me a copy of that footage.”

His heart is hammering at the unexpected declaration, and for a moment, he’s swallowing and searching for words. For one terrifying moment, he’s on the verge of saying, “I’ll hold you to that,” but he settles for just saying, “I’ll work on it.”

\---

On Monday morning, he pulls Pam into the film office to show her the promised footage. “Don’t tell anyone I’m showing you this,” he warns, but they’ve been doing this for so long that it’s old hat to Pam by now.

“Oh my God!” she whispers in delight as Jim appears in a white suit and eyeliner. “This is better than I imagined!”

Brian ends up watching Pam more than he watches the screen. It’s one of those stolen moments he ends up holding onto, because no one else is watching and Pam isn’t aware of his eyes on her. He studies the curves of her face, the quick smile, the sparkle in her eyes. As the footage concludes, her eyes narrow and she says, “Wait--go back.”

Brian hadn’t been watching, so he rolls the tape back slowly until Pam tells him to stop. 

It’s a shot of Cathy, who is clearly swooning over Jim. 

“What is going on down there?” Pam asks in alarm.

“Pam,” he starts soothingly, sensing the danger. “I’ve talked to Joe every single day since they left--you have nothing to worry about--”

“Nothing! You saw her face!” Pam says, gesturing at the screen even as Brian scrubs it forward to a shot of Dwight. “Brian, tell me what is happening right now or I’m calling Jim!”

“Okay, just--remember, this is Jim we’re talking about,” Brian says slowly. “Okay? But... Cathy’s been coming on pretty strong to him. He even called me one night for help, apparently he’s pretty frustrated with Joe. But I’ve talked to that crew every day, Pam, and they all say the same thing--Jim shuts her down at every turn.”

“But why wouldn’t he tell me about that?” she asks, troubled. 

“I’m sure he didn’t want you to worry,” Brian says bluntly. “The distance is a tough thing, he knows you’re dealing with the kids and your mom and sister... I’m sure once he got back and settled in, he was going to tell you all about it.”

She still looks upset, but at least she’s not threatening to call Jim anymore. “I mean... she sat at my desk.”

Brian lifts his shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “Sometimes... people are attracted to someone who is unattainable. It happens to all of us.”

She gives him a reluctant smile, like she’s in on the joke, and he realizes she thinks he’s talking about her crush on Jim from so long ago. He wasn’t. He was talking about himself and his insane and lingering crush on Pam.

\---

The day before the Tallahassee crew is due to return, Pam takes a phone call at her desk from Jim. 

“He said ‘I did like Dwight?’ He’s gonna fire him,” Pam says loudly. She listens for a moment, then waves her free hand wildly as she says, “Robert doesn’t talk like that. You have to stop Dwight from doing this.” Another pause, and then she rolls her eyes. “Did you actually try your hardest?” 

Brian and Carmen watch as she listens to Jim’s continued arguments. Finally, she says, “If Dwight’s about to get fired, you have to tell him. Just get the words out, that’s all you can do.”

She hangs up and glances up at Brian. “I know! It’s crazy that I’m fighting for Dwight’s job, but he doesn’t deserve that.”

He knows.

Apparently Jim accomplishes his mission, since Dwight accompanies he and Stanley into the office. Pam visibly brightens when she spots Jim, hugging and kissing him and muttering about how much she missed him. This is what prompts Andy to go to Florida and win Erin back, because apparently Erin decided to stay? Brian’s fuzzy on the details. 

\---

He and Alissa get into another huge fight, this time about their plans for the summer, and he ends up on the couch for a week and a half. He wants to go to Italy, she wants to go to Miami, and they finally agree to do Miami this year and Italy next year. 

Brian senses he lost more than just his summer plans, somehow. At least the sex is mind-blowing for the next two weeks.

\---

Nellie Bertram, who had interviewed for the managers position and worked with Dwight and Jim in Florida, shows up to take over Andy’s job. She does it with sheer force of will, even overpowering the great Robert California. Eventually, even Jim and Pam have to give in to her. 

They're forced to throw a welcome party for her, which the PPC purposefully sabotages, but it ends up being touching for Nellie after all, since Dwight and Jim intervene on her behalf. Turns out the witch has a heart after all. 

\---

After two weeks, Andy returns with Erin in tow. Nellie refuses to give up her new job, and Robert California is apathetic to the entire situation, much to Andy’s dismay.

Pam’s preoccupied in a sudden campaign against Ryan. She and Jim had set Kelly up with their pediatrician, Ravi, and Kelly seems happy and stable in her new relationship. As Ryan starts to try to win Kelly back, Pam takes a hard line against him, reminding Kelly of all the times he’s cheated on her.

“I am not going to let Kelly throw her life away on Ryan,” she says in an interview. “And it has nothing to do with access to my pediatrician. Why you would even ask--or were going to ask--because I feel like that question was coming--” She leaves without another word, clearly flustered.

Andy punches the wall again. 

Ryan confronts Pam at lunch about her smear campaign, saying that if she has something to say, she should say it to his face.

“Fair enough. I don’t think you’re a very good person. And forgive me, but I think I’ve said this to you before: I don’t like you very much.” 

Everyone at lunch agrees with Pam that Ravi is a better match for Kelly than Ryan is. Even Nate, who hasn’t even met Ravi, says, “Just having known you a short while, Brian, that I prefer Ravi. And again, I’ve never even met the guy.” 

Brian is actually insulted that Nate got Ryan’s name wrong. 

Ryan claims to have written Kelly an amazing poem, and Pam challenges him to read it aloud, which he refuses to do. Nonetheless, Kelly seems touched.

When Robert finally decides to formally demote Andy, he quits. 

At the end of the workday, the staff finds Ryan atop a horse, dressed in Indian garb. Pam immediately, and hilariously, starts booing him. “You are toxic!” Ryan hisses at her as Jim pulls her away. She continues to heckle Ryan through his big speech to Kelly, and only stops when Kelly chooses Ravi. Then Kelly kisses Ryan, and this is basically why Brian quit following their relationship about four years ago. 

Pam and Jim go back inside and dig through the recycling for Ryan’s poem; everyone’s surprised to find that he actually wrote one. “Kapoor and kadesperate, he watches,” she reads.

Jim takes a beat. “Second line.”

They read the entire thing twice, both ending up in tears over it. 

“Ryan can never know,” Jim mumbles.

\---

Senator Lipton holds a fundraiser, and the entire office attends since Robert California is a prominent donor. Andy embarrasses himself as Erin’s date, but Pam and Oscar are focused on proving the Senator is gay. They’re right, but Jim refuses to believe it. “Not every glance means something, okay? Life isn’t Downton Abbey.”

“Life _is_ Downton Abbey!” Pam retorts.

\---

Robert California doesn't remember leaving a drunken, suggestive voicemail on Nellie’s phone, so he orders Pam to investigate it. She steals Nellie’s phone so that Robert can listen to his own message, but they end up hearing a lot of personal messages instead: Nellie’s having trouble adjusting to American life, she’s behind on her credit card payments, she’s been denied an opportunity to adopt a child, and her boss keeps hitting on her. Pam deletes the messages before Robert can hear more and returns the phone to Nellie, who is so grateful that she offers to buy Pam some shoes.

\---

As a treat for everyone, Dwight brings in a photographer for a free family photo session. Jim is suspicious of the entire thing, since he pranked Dwight a week ago; he suspects Dwight is using this as retaliation somehow. Pam ignores his fears and brings the kids in, and true to form, no tragedies befall the Halperts. It turns out Dwight’s real objective was to get a DNA sample from Angela’s child, since he believes he is the father.

Andy, meanwhile, had planned a coup with David Wallace, who came into a lot of money when his Suck It invention was bought by the military. He’s bought back Dunder Mifflin from Sabre, just in time for Jo Bennett to liquidate the rest of the company, leaving Robert California jobless.

\---

“So we have one more year,” Joe says, folding his hands as he addresses the crew. “But the producers are pretty sure they’ll have all the footage they need after this last one, so... be prepared to start looking for work again.” 

It’s a bittersweet feeling, knowing it can all be over in a matter of months. Brian should feel relieved, right? He’ll be able to move on, focus on his marriage, maybe start a family.

So why does he feel so sad?


	9. Oh, We're Bleeding Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first fic I have ever finished. Thank you to everyone who has been reading along and leaving comments, I really appreciate it.

Brian hates Miami with a passion.

He remembers walking on the beach with Dwight and Carmen on that early January morning, and wonders at the difference between the two places. Miami is hot and crowded, a sensory overload of tanned people and loud music, and Alissa thrives on it all. She drags him to clubs and to lay on the beach and yells at him whenever he resists. The only enjoyable part of the entire trip is the food, and even that isn’t worth the trade-off.

He’s never felt so distant from his wife.

Three weeks is a long time, and he’s tired when they get back to Scranton--tired of moving around, tired of trying, and tired of Alissa. They spent most of the trip fighting, and now they bicker and make up, desperately trying to believe that there’s still something worth fighting for.

Brian’s starting to wonder if they’re just kidding themselves.

\---

He doesn’t wear his ring when he goes back to work in September. He’s gotten a callus on his palm, where the ring rubs between the boom pole and his skin, so he leaves it off for his first day back. No one notices, not even Carmen.

Pam and Jim don’t have a lot to report from their summer. Pam painted a mural in the kids’ nursery, which Jim raves over, and then Pam points out that something interesting happened to him, too.

“Jim’s friend is starting a new company based on this idea that Jim had back when they were in college.”

“It’s sports marketing, basically, but the athletes are partners.”

“And he wanted Jim to be a partner too.”

“In Philly,” Jim adds. “So that really doesn’t work with the family. But watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea.”

“He said if it takes off, he’s gonna buy us a new car.”

“An Altima or better,” Jim says.

“And that was our summer!” she says, grinning, as Jim puts his hands up nonchalantly. 

“We good?” Jim asks as he and Pam start removing their mics.

“Yeah, thanks,” Brian says.

“Don’t you guys have everything?” Pam asks him bemusedly. “I mean, it’s just a paper company.”

“Well... we’re more following you guys to see how you turn out,” Brian says honestly.

“Oh, yeah. I guess we were kind of... dramatic?... in the beginning. Well, I don’t think anything is gonna change in our lives now. With work and two kids, nothing interesting is going to happen to us for a long, long time.” She hands Brian her mic pack as she’s leaving, but Jim suddenly looks terrified.

There are two new interns sitting in the annex with Toby, who was all alone since Gabe is gone and Kelly and Ryan have moved (separately) to Ohio. Their names are Pete and Clark, and everyone calls them Jim Jr. and Dwight Jr, respectively, except for Andy who dubs Pete “Plop.” Dwight is threatened by Dwight Jr, but Jim scoffs at the comparison, declaring, “I have nothing in common with Plop.”

Dwight enlists Pam’s help with a stunt he’s planning to pull at the end of the day, entailing a bicycle, a printer, and a tightrope at the top of the building. When she refuses to participate, he exclaims, “Come on! This will be the only thrill of your boring life!”

“Dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but I love my boring life--”

“Come on!”

“--exactly the way it is!”

“No, Pam...”

“Yes! And there’s nothing you can say that would get me to run the slightest risk of losing it!”

Meanwhile, Jim’s eavesdropping as Angela interviews Plop about his aspirations. He has lofty goals, including being a millionaire, but there’s something more genuine about Plop that makes him more endearing than Jim ever was. Angela asks if he’s made any concrete steps toward those goals, and Plop says he hasn’t yet, but, “I should start making a list.”

“Aw, come on, Pete,” Jim says in his interview. “Gah, that’s just sad. If he doesn’t watch himself, he’s gonna be here for years, doing nothing!” He laughs, then looks down at his hands in a moment of clarity. “Wow, maybe Pete _is_ the new Jim.”

It’s the third time that day that Brian’s seen that expression. The last time he saw that look on Jim’s face, he and Michael Scott were sitting on the couch together, eating birthday cake as Jim contemplated slowly but surely turning into Michael. Back then, Brian had known Jim was too lazy to change his course, but Jim’s been acting squirrely all day, and the idea of his college buddy making millions without him seems to be weighing on his mind.

When five o’clock rolls around, Jim tells Pam he’ll meet her in the parking lot, which sounds ominous to Brian. He and Carmen hang back to film Jim as everyone else heads home.

Jim does some deep breathing exercises, then suddenly grabs his phone and dials a number from memory. Before it has a chance to ring, he hangs up and grabs his coat, pacing around his desk. He’s almost out the door when he turns back and grabs his phone again, dialing once more. Putting his head in his hand, he says, “Hey man, it’s Halpert. Did you go to the other guy yet?... Great, don’t. I’m in.”

He lets out a relieved laugh on an exhale as he leaves. As they’re following him out, they’re intercepted by Creed, who requests an interview. 

“In the parking lot today, there was a circus. A copier did tricks on the high wire, a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat, there was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator, a strong man crushed a turtle. I laughed, and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.” He nods and smiles nostalgically, then stands up and leaves without another word.

Carmen lowers her camera, stunned. “Uh... what?” 

\---

Roy Anderson invites Jim and Pam to his mid-morning-on-a-weekday wedding, which sounds more awkward than it turns out to be. The big takeaway is that everyone’s happier for Pam and Roy never having gotten married, but Jim and Pam also wonder if they don’t surprise each other anymore. They debate about it so much that the rest of the office gets involved, asking random questions to the “oldlyweds.”

Phyllis asks, “Who was Pam’s first celebrity crush?”

Toby mutters, “John Stamos,” which Jim also knows as he scribbles it on his card. 

“Yes, but John Stamos was temporary, I quickly moved on to--”

“Johnny Depp,” Toby says.

“Johnny... Depp,” Pam finishes, and everyone stares at Toby. Brian is glad he wasn’t around in those early years, lest he come off as creepy as Toby. 

Jim takes a phone call in the middle of the shenanigans, which Pam finds suspicious. “I think maybe there is something I don’t know about Jim,” she says slowly in her interview. She stares at Brian, but he’s not going near this one--it’s a land mine.

Jim’s phone call brings good tidings, so they pull him in for a quick interview.

“Are you gonna tell Pam the good news?” Brian asks.

“It’s not even real yet!” Jim says. “And I’m not gonna tell her until it’s real.”

Plop and Clark are locked in a battle over Erin, sort of. Clark’s trying to trick her into sleeping with him by holding a fake newscaster audition, and Plop, who already dislikes Clark, is feeling protective of Erin since Andy doesn’t sense the deceit either. 

Plop proves to be resourceful, manipulating Andy so that he accompanies Erin to her fake audition, which successfully cramps Clark’s style.

Meanwhile, Pam tries to draw Jim out by telling him things he doesn’t know about her. She makes up a story about one of her old high school classmates hitting on her, but Jim says, “That didn’t happen. You would’ve told me right away.”

“Yeah, I would’ve,” Pam relents. “But what about you? Come on, there’s gotta be something.”

But Jim denies hiding anything from her. Pam starts to look very worried.

\---

Nellie asks for Pam’s help in teaching her how to drive, which pulls Pam out of the office during lunchtime. She apologizes for abandoning Jim, but he says, “I have a thing.” Then he gets cagey and adds, “A thing of soup.”

Brian’s responsible for outfitting Pam’s car with audio/visual for the day, and he and Carmen follow closely behind in his Jeep in case of any mishaps. They’re able to watch the whole ordeal on portable monitors.

Pam and Nellie end up bonding over their mutual mischievousness, to the point where Pam confides her fears about Jim. “I actually do have this weird feeling that there’s something Jim isn’t telling me.”

“Oh no. Oh, an affair. It is always an affair,” Nellie laments. It’s silly, and yet it somehow seems twice as tragic with a British accent. 

“Jim? No.”

Nellie sighs. “How can you be sure?”

“Because he just loves me too much,” Pam says simply. 

Nellie gives her a sidelong glance. “You’re a cocky little thing, aren’t you, Pam?” she says with great reverence. Pam laughs.

Back at work, Jim’s working on recruiting Darryl for his new company, which Darryl is excited about for exactly five seconds... until he asks if Pam is onboard as well. 

“It’s not real until your wife is onboard,” Darryl says flatly. This is what finally spurs Jim to come clean to Pam, who has just been offered a special project by Nellie. She wants Pam to paint a mural on the wall. 

They don’t capture any audio of Jim’s confession, but he seems hugely relieved as he hugs Pam. They do separate interviews upstairs, with Jim proclaiming, “I don’t know what I was so worried about. I have the best wife in the world.” It’s nice that he remembers that every once in a while.

Pam, though, seems affected. “I still can’t believe he didn’t tell me,” she says sadly. 

In a way, it hurts that she’s not even mad at Brian. He obviously knew and didn’t tell her, but Pam’s not mad at anyone. She’s just... disappointed. And that’s somehow worse.

\---

Jim spends the next week waiting on Pam hand and foot. “Last week, I finally told Pam about the other job that I took in Philly--the side job--and she was so... incredibly cool about it. And now I just wanna do something huge for her, like, if we were in some biker bar and she mouthed off to some bikers, and they came lumbering over, and I was like WHAM! ‘Gotta go through me first!’”

Brian yawns.

There’s controversy in the office, apparently there’s a strong electromagnetic field due to faulty wiring, and everyone is agitating for Dwight to make the necessary repairs, which he refuses to do. Pam expresses a desire to have a week off during renovations, so Jim makes it his mission to do that for his wife. He concocts a prank involving a popcorn bag, and the upshot is that Dwight believes he has been rendered infertile by the wiring. The solution is that the office will undergo renovations, but the staff has to work in a mobile station in the parking lot. 

It’s basically the worst week ever.

Since everyone is crammed into tight quarters, tensions run high from the first day. Moreover, the crew has to work their way through the tight space in order to get any usable footage, resulting in a lot of overlap and bad moods. 

Brian settles for holding the boom mic as close to the middle of the bus as he can, just for ease of access. Dwight looms around in a bad mood as everyone snaps at each other. Andy stares blankly at a flatscreen TV that’s not even hooked up. People get off the bus and stand in the late September heat just for a moment to breathe. 

Brian ends up squeezed between Nellie and Pete, his arms straining to pick up incoherent babble with the boom mic as everyone struggles to be heard on their phones. He listens as Erin gives Nellie advice on how to fill out adoption papers, but he gets sidetracked when Pam gets a beverage spilled on her.

She gets off the bus with Jim apologizing profusely on her heels. He spots Dwight flashing him a smug look and snaps, “Really? Smirking?”

“What can I say? I love justice. You forced me to spend money on needless repairs, and now you’re locked on a prison bus, and your woman drips with beverage.”

“Hey, Dwight, I was trying to do something nice for Pam. Can you just help me out? Can we maybe take this thing somewhere, or maybe do something to not make this the worst day ever?”

“It’s not my responsibility to solve your marriage problems by spending my money on gas.” 

Jim gives him a hard look before calling on Andy to intervene, proposing they drive to a rural pie stand, which happens to be Pam’s favorite place. “All right!” Andy declares, “The fat people have spoken!”

They accidentally leave Clark and Darryl behind, but no one seems to care, not even Clark and Darryl. 

On a pit stop, Pam asks Jim if he thinks Dwight is acting strange. “Why isn’t he scheming, or preparing to avenge?” Jim blows her off, insisting Dwight just doesn’t like fun, but Pam isn’t convinced.

Jim gets more and more intense about getting Pam a pie as five o’clock draws near. Dwight refuses to refuel, which sets Jim off. In response, Dwight snaps, “Stop ordering me around, Jim!”

But Jim’s determined as he calls out, “What do we want!”

“Pie!” everyone shouts.

“When do we want it?”

“Pie!”

He had that one coming. 

“Okay, fine,” Dwight says, grabbing the keys from the ignition. “You win, Jim. You win. We have been battling for a long time, but you know what? You win, ‘cause you are the winner, you are the alpha male, there you go.” He drops the keys in Jim’s lap as Pam looks up at him warily. “Alpha male. Go buy your wife a pie. Go buy the whole world a pie!”

“That’s impossible,” Jim says, because he is an asshole.

There’s a beat of silence, and then Dwight climbs onto the tables and pushes the roof hatch open, forcing his way onto the top of the bus.

Phyllis tells Jim to just drive away, while Kevin agonizes about possibly missing the pies. 

“Go up and check on him, he’s upset,” Pam tells Jim.

“You know he’s doing all this on purpose!” Jim says, agitated. 

“Please? Just make sure he’s okay?” Jim rolls his eyes and climbs onto the roof. 

Brian’s stuck in the middle of the bus, unable to climb up or get out, so he stays on to capture audio down below as Joe and his crew rush to get outside. He watches as Andy ruthlessly rejects Nellie’s plea for a letter of recommendation to add to her adoption papers, and he’s standing across from Pete when Andy approaches the front of the bus and hears sobs from behind the curtain.

“British women, famously overemotional. Am I right?” Andy asks Pete, erroneously believing Nellie is the one sobbing and that British women are emotional at all.

“I don’t think that’s Nellie,” Pete says, not bothering to hide the accusation in his eyes. 

Andy inches forward and glances behind the curtain, spotting Erin as she sobs her apologies for failing to help Nellie. He backs away slowly, and Pete regards him in that strange overprotective way that he’s taken to using around Erin.

A minute later, Jim reappears through the roof hatch looking happier, but he’s immediately stepped on by Dwight, who snaps, “That’s what happens when you don’t get out of the way!”

Jim ends up on the ground as Dwight drops from the ceiling, landing right in front of Pam. They’re almost nose-to-nose as he gives her an intense look. 

“You feel okay now?” she asks bracingly.

“Oh, better than okay,” Dwight says, grabbing her shoulders. “And you know what, honey? I’m gonna get you that rhubarb pie.”

“Well actually, rhubarb is the one--”

“Don’t, don’t,” Jim says wearily, looking worse for wear as Dwight starts up the bus and peels out.

They get there just in time. 

Dynamics seemed to change on the bus, though. Andy approaches Nellie and graciously offers her a recommendation letter, signed and sealed. He doesn’t seem bothered that his girlfriend is off in the distance, giggling with Pete. Pam is leaning on Jim’s shoulder but watching Dwight, and Oscar is smashing his pie into Kevin’s face.

Brian can’t put his finger on exactly what, but it feels like something is subtly but surely changing.

\---

For Halloween, Pam dresses up as Dr. Cinderella, assigning an oncology practice to one of the most boring Disney princesses in order to give Cece a proper role model. Jim, however, sticks to his no costumes rule even as he lies to Erin and tells her he’s one of the Men in Black guys. 

Brian pulls Jim and Pam in for a joint interview to explain why he’s not in costume today. “So the sports marketing company that Jim told everyone about except for me--”

Jim gives an exasperated but amused look at the ceiling and says, “There’s a big investment lunch today, so I decided to skip the costume.”

“Unless he has a secret costume that he told everyone about except for me...”

Jim laughs but the joke is clearly wearing thin between them. “Getting a lot of mileage out of this, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, well, get used to it, bud,” she says, grinning at the camera.

Jim leaves around 10, but not before checking with Pam one last time that she’s okay with investing a lot of their savings into the company. “Yeah, I mean, if we’re gonna do this thing, then we should do it right.”

“You’re the best,” Jim says reverently, bending down to kiss her.

She smirks. “I kind of am.”

Andy’s got the Cornell acapella group, Here Comes Treble, in the office to perform during their Halloween party. A lot of drama goes down, with Andy having a bit of an identity crisis. Brian and Carmen follow Erin around as she tries to fix things, and at one point, she mutters to Pete, “This isn’t stupid.” He gives her a completely confused look as she trots away in her puppy costume.

Jim returns just in time for the performance in the conference room. Pam greets him excitedly but Jim appears on edge. When she asks how much he ended up investing, he mumbles, “About... ten...”

Her face falls. “About ten?”

“Ten. It was the full ten.”

“Wow. Wow.” 

“Yeah. It’s good that we talked about it, though, because if we hadn’t...”

“Yeah, yeah,” Pam agrees. “So did everybody end up investing ten thousand?”

“Ah... oh man, I don’t actually know...” Jim says, avoiding Pam’s gaze.

“They weren’t really talking that much about money, they just said, ‘We’re good with investing.’”

Pam only has a couple of seconds to look horrified before Here Comes Treble starts performing, but she doesn’t let it deter her. Leaning over to Jim, she asks, “They said they were done with investing and then you volunteered ten thousand dollars?”

“I had to. I needed to look like a team player, Pam.” 

“So you invested ten thousand dollars to look like a team player?” she asks, her voice getting louder at the end of the sentence. 

Here Comes Treble pulls her forward to be serenaded, but she’s still hissing at Jim, very upset. 

She sulks for the rest of the performance, but that’s better than Dwight, who spends the duration with his fingers in his ears. 

Pam ends up going off on Jim in front of everyone, but uses Monster Mash as a metaphor. It’s all very complicated and gets Kevin to rethinking his holiday music choices. She and Jim barely speak for the rest of the day, and she looks thunderous as they head home.

The crew is a little distracted by the footage they have of Oscar making out with Senator Lipton, Angela's husband.

\---

The next week, things between Jim and Pam appear to be resolved, and everyone in the office is gossiping about Andy’s family’s sudden bankruptcy. Apparently his dad had taken all of the money and run off with a younger woman, leaving his wife destitute and his youngest son, Walter Jr, directionless. Andy’s handling it all pretty well, selling off assets and properties so that his mother can live comfortably, but he gets stuck when it comes to selling the family yacht. 

Apparently, Kevin has found out about Oscar’s affair with the senator, so that’s a ticking timebomb. 

Pam arranges for Dwight to do a radio interview with a local show, but it gets cancelled at midmorning. It’s not soon enough though, since Dwight’s been treating everyone like crap all morning, so Jim comes up with the idea to prank him by setting up a fake interview. 

Pam, Nellie, and Darryl participate in recreating a radio show, and get Dwight to strip down to his underwear and sell out the CEO, David Wallace, when he’s told the stock prices have plummeted. When they tell Dwight that Wallace’s house is surrounded and that he’s taken someone hostage, Dwight calls his cell and begs him to let the hostage go. David flatly tells Dwight never to call his cell again. 

They were so wrapped up in this that Brian doesn’t even know that Andy’s decided to sail for the Bahamas. 

\---

The Scranton White Pages have canceled their ten-year contract with their paper company. David Wallace is tipped off about it, but he’s tied up in Vermont, so he calls Dwight, the top salesman, to land the client. The problem is, Dwight will be dealing with a woman, and Dwight historically does not do well selling to women.

Pam asks Jim if he can accompany Dwight on the call, but Jim has a board meeting to attend for his new company, via phone. The women decide to hold sensitivity training for Dwight, where they try to soften him up, but it doesn’t go well. Nellie says, “I have written down a few questions. One, have you ever killed a woman? How many women have you killed? Please, sir, will you not kill me?” Again, it sounds twice as tragic in her British accent.

Pam agrees to accompany Dwight on his sales call, just to balance him out. “Ten years ago, I didn’t care if Dwight got married or died a beet farming bachelor, but having kids makes you so soft. I used to watch _Pulp Fiction_ and laugh, but now I’m like, ‘That poor Gimp is somebody’s child!’” She places her hand on her chest as if she’s deeply affected, and Brian chuckles at her because she’s so cute when she does that.

He and Carmen go on the sales call with them, and everyone is stunned when the buyer turns out to be none other than Jan Levinson. 

“Forget everything we taught you!” Pam whispers urgently to Dwight, but Jan’s not interested in them; she wanted revenge on David Wallace, and screams at her assistant for failing to get him here.

“So this was all just a trick? You don’t really have any business to give?” Pam asks flatly. 

“No, I do,” Jan says.

“But not to us.”

Jan points at Pam condescendingly. “Insightful, Pam.”

Pam whispers apologies to Dwight, calling this a lost cause, but Dwight’s not ready to give up the cause yet. “I may not have any instincts with women, but I have an instinct for sales. You keep her occupied, I’ll be right back!”

Pam watches him go with a panicked expression. Meanwhile, Jan’s saying, “I’m a very busy woman, so...” and making a shooing gesture with her hand.

“Yeah, um... do you have any other pictures of Astrid?” Pam asks, sitting down.

Jan contemplates her, clearly choosing between being rude to Pam or showing off her daughter; ultimately Astrid wins out. “Fine. I will show you one slide show.”

Jan stands up to set up the TV, but she’s distracted when she spots Brian. “Oh... hello.” 

She’s wearing a predatory smile as she inches forward. Brian backs away with the boom pole instinctively, but he gets trapped against the wall as Jan approaches him.

“I remember you,” Jan continues, leaning forward suggestively. “What’s your name again?”

“It’s Brian,” Pam says unexpectedly. “He’s not allowed to talk to us, Jan, you remember...”

“But you look like the kind of guy who likes to... break a few rules,” Jan says pointedly. 

If she only knew. Thankfully Pam says, “He’s married,” and the light seems to go out of Jan’s eyes. She turns away as if nothing had happened, and Brian flashes Pam a grateful look. She does a half-shrug back as she settles in for the presentation. Carmen’s laughing silently from her perch by the windowsill. 

Pam manages to kill twenty minutes by getting Jan to talk about her daughter, her singing, and her candles. When Dwight finally returns, he has Clark with him, whom he offers up as a personal liaison to Dunder Mifflin. Really, he’s prostituting Clark, which makes Pam squeamish, but Clark is desperate to get into sales. Jan seems interested and promises to call Dwight in a week with her decision.

Dwight’s sensitivity training didn’t go to waste, though. He uses it to interact with Molly, Jan’s former assistant, which impresses Pam. Dwight promises to let Pam know when he curries favor with her, and Pam, flattered, asks, “Why me?”

“Because you are my friend. And you are a woman.” She smiles, but then he adds, “And women _love_ gossip, it’s like air to you people!” 

It’s close enough.

He heads into the parking lot toward his car, but Pam hangs back and teases Brian, “Close one with Jan back there.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” he says, retracting the boom mic as Carmen follows Dwight. “That was weird.” 

“Um. Where is your ring?” 

She’s pointing at his left hand, her expression neutral.

“Ah.” He holds up his palm to show her the callus. “I have to leave it at home, it’s hard to boom with a ring on.”

“Oh!” she says, and for some reason, she looks intensely relieved. “I just noticed it and wondered if...” 

“No, nothing like that,” Brian says, his skin crawling with the lie. “No trouble in paradise.”

But Pam’s watching him closely. “You know, if you ever need to talk, I’m around,” she says mildly. “Not that I think you need to talk, but if you ever do...”

“Uh,” he says, flummoxed. “Thanks, Pam.”

She nods curtly, then turns to chase Dwight as he threatens to leave her behind if she doesn’t hurry up. 

It’s the first time in their eight-year friendship that she seems to sense he’s not being entirely truthful. 

\---

When Brian tries to get out of going to a holiday party with Alissa, they have another fight. It’s the sixth one in as many days, and all the tension building up between them results in Alissa throwing a vase at a wall. It doesn’t shatter, it cracks and falls to the floor, and Brian thinks it’s fitting for what’s been happening lately. 

He stops fighting back after that; instead he packs a bag and stays at a hotel near the office.

\---

Brian’s not the only one having marital problems--Angela has finally found out about her husband’s affair with Oscar, and she’s clearly plotting her revenge. 

Pam comes in dressed in her old Pratt sweatshirt--Brian remembers her wearing it the night she cried about failing out of art school, and the memory makes him a little nostalgic--and Dwight says, “Well well well, it’s finally happened. Pam has ceased caring.”

“These are my painting clothes,” she says. “I think I’m gonna do it, I’m really gonna start to paint the warehouse mural today!” 

She’s been saying this for over a week now. Nellie had commissioned her to paint a mural in the warehouse back when Pam was teaching her to drive, and since then, Pam’s been consumed with planning and sketching. The crew has followed her down to the warehouse every day since she decided on the final design, but each time, they watch her stare at a blank wall, frozen. 

Jim offers to help her, somehow, but Pam accuses him of avoiding his important phone call. 

“Today I will be asking David Wallace if I can start working part-time,” Jim says in a joint interview with Pam, “Because the sports marketing company that I started really needs me to be there.” 

Pam grins. “Last week, Jim wasn’t there and they named the company ‘Athlead.’”

Jim shakes his head regretfully. “I could’ve prevented that. So I have to talk to Wallace.”

“Tell them your opening line!”

Jim mimics talking into a phone. “Hey, David, how would you like a guy who’s not here as much, is paid the same amount of salary, and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia?”

They both strike poses, and then Pam says, “I think it’s good. He likes fishing.”

“This is gonna be awful.”

But the phone call appears to go pretty well, except for one little white lie: Jim tells Wallace that Phyllis and Stanley have agreed to cover for him if there’s an emergency with any of his clients. 

When Jim asks them to help him out, Stanley and Phyllis demand to be wooed, starting with lunch. It’s fine--it’s not like Andy’s around to keep people in line. Brian and Carmen opt to stay at the office and let Gregory and Quin follow the other three to lunch. 

Pam goes up in the lift and contemplates her wall, but she’s freaked out by her audience, which consists of the film crew and Hide, who keeps asking her when she’s going to start painting. Hide’s grown very impatient.

When she takes another break to grab a snack from the fridge, Pam encounters a group surrounding a tower of customer complaint cards in the annex. It was started by Pete, but it took on a life of its own while Pam was down in the warehouse, and now seven people are actively cheering as Kevin adds the last card to the top. Unfortunately, he knocks the entire thing down before he can reach it, and the group erupts in outrage.

They watch as Pete puts up his hands. “Hey hey hey, it’s just a mistake! That’s what this tower’s all about, mistakes! Okay, if you’re afraid of screwing up, the tower’s not for you. Show of hands, who here has never had a complaint?” 

No one except the crew notices Pam put up her hand; she pulls it down quickly when she realizes she’s alone.

“That’s right, nobody,” Pete continues. “See that? Nobody. Let’s get back to work.” Kevin still looks devastated, so Pete offers his fist and asks, “Come on, are you in?” Kevin grins and fist-bumps him, and the group sets back to work.

They rebuild the tower as Pam watches, but they run out of complaint cards before they reach the ceiling. 

“I can get us a complaint!” Pam says from the doorway.

“You?” Meredith asks in disbelief. “Little Miss Priss? You wouldn’t fart on a butterfly.”

“No, I wouldn’t. I can’t even relate to that impulse. But I can get us a customer complaint, and I’d like to try.”

Mob mentality would explain why no one questions this. 

Everyone surrounds her as she calls a family-owned company. They offer Pam sage pieces of failing advice, and she looks a little overwhemled as she dials. 

“Hello, this is Pam Halpert, with Dunder Mifflin, your paper provider, and I was just calling to say... your momma is so fat that when she wears red, people yell ‘Hey Kool-Aid!’ Yeah! Your momma’s fat! This is Pam Halpert.”

It’s so cute that it almost didn’t seem offensive. 

A few minutes later, Erin answers the reception phone, then announces, “Ladies and gentlemen... we just lost a client!”

They all cheer, then reality sets in and they fall silent. It’s a very confusing moment. But the tower is complete, everyone celebrates, and Pam feels like she was part of something.

That evening, she finally starts on her mural, holding a photo of the group surrounding their finished tower of green complaint cards.

\---

Brian returns home a couple of days later, after five days staying in the hotel.

“We need to talk,” he says to his hostile wife. “We can’t do this anymore.”

But they don’t talk. They never talk anymore. 

\---

On the day of the Christmas party (which everyone had forgotten) Jim plans to leave early to get settled in before his first day at his new part-time job. In the absence of a PPC-planned Christmas party, Dwight suggests an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas party. “Drink some _glühwein_ , enjoy some _hasenpfeffer_ , enjoy Christmas with Saint Nicholas’ rural German companion, Belsnickel.”

Jim very loudly and adamantly campaigns for this party, but everyone else has their own ideas. 

“I want tropical Christmas,” Stanley grumbles.

“Topless Christmas,” Meredith chimes in.

“Tapas Swiss Miss,” Creed says.

“Or, who was it that suggested authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas?” Dwight asks. “I think it was someone really popular...”

“I’m not understanding the confusion,” Jim says. “Am I the only one who wants to try Hufflepuffs and schnauserhosen, and meet this Glenpickle guy?”

Angela puts an end to the madness by calling a Party Planning Committee meeting, and Pam promises Jim that she will make Dwight’s party happen. She gets it done in a matter of 20 minutes, though Angela demands to have her name removed from any association with this party. 

“Dwight, there is one rule that you need to take very seriously,” Pam says after she’s told him the good news. “And that is: that there are no rules.” 

“You have never been cooler,” Dwight breathes.

The party is kind of amazing. There’s inedible food, Dwight reads stories while holding a candle, and then he dresses up as Belsnickel. “No one fears Santa the way they fear Belsnickel!” he says to Jim.

“That’s my favorite part of Christmas: the authority,” Jim says to Pam. 

She nods in agreement. “And the fear.”

Darryl boggarts the _glühwein_ and gets drunk alone in his office, angry at Jim for not including him in the Philadelphia trip.

Dwight swats impish people with his stick, and hands gifts to people who have been admirable. Pam receives some toys for her children, and Angela is pleased when Belsnickel swats Oscar. When Jim stands to head out to Philly, Dwight is clearly disappointed. “We were gonna break the pig rib!” Jim voices his half-hearted regrets, making to leave, but Dwight makes Jim stay so that he can declare him impish or admirable. No one is surprised when he declares Jim “impish,” but they’re all a little shocked when Dwight proceeds to smack him repeatedly for abandoning the party. 

The crew follows Pam and Jim into the parking lot, where she says, “I can’t believe this is actually happening!” 

“Listen, thank you so much for putting all of that together,” Jim says. “This was the perfect last Christmas party.”

Pam’s face falls as she starts blinking back tears, but Jim leans in for a hug and pretends not to see it. She lingers in the parking lot for a moment, then heads back upstairs to find Dwight leaving. “What’s going on?”

“Party’s over. You quit on Christmas, Christmas quits on you!” he says angrily.

Meanwhile, the staff scrapes together a perfectly respectable second party, using decorations that were stashed in the warehouse along with refreshments that Oscar had gotten at the store. Pam and Dwight are in matching dark moods, regarding each other across their desks.

“For what it’s worth, I liked your party better,” Pam says in a dead voice that Brian hates to hear.

“Everyone thought the food was gross and that Belsnickel was some darkly erotic freak.”

“I don’t think anyone thought that,” Pam says, still miserable.

“Jim couldn’t even stay until the end of the party.”

“Well that didn’t have anything to do with you,” Pam says, finally using inflection to give him comfort. 

“I don’t care! Guess how much I care, on a scale of 1 to 10.”

“Zero.”

“Dammit!”

She offers to get him another eggnog, but he says he’ll just take an anti-anxiety pill. “Jim taught me this really cool way to take it, you crush it into a powder and you snort it up your butt.”

“Yep. I did say that.” Jim strolls in, and Pam says his name in surprise, but he’s distracted by the disappointingly normal party that’s occuring. “What’s going on? Where’s the Belsnickel?”

He holds his arms open as Pam moves toward him, but she’s beaten by Dwight, who hugs Jim so tightly that they look like Joey and Chandler. 

“What are you doing?” Jim asks irritably. “Last time I saw you, you were whipping me out of the building.”

“Shush,” Dwight says, putting his finger on Jim’s lips. “Let’s not speak of that. The pig rib! We can totally break the pig rib! I’m gonna dig it out of the trash!”

He runs off toward the refreshment table, and Pam asks Jim if he missed his bus.

“No, I just missed my wife,” he says, kissing her, and Brian realizes he hasn’t felt that way about Alissa in a long time. 

Which just feels... great. 

Jim gets the bigger half of the pig rib, but half the crowd is covered in marrow. Darryl makes a spectacle of himself, drunkenly stumbling around before falling on the refreshment table. “Very impish,” Dwight says smugly.

“Creed, just wondering... what did you mean by ‘Tapas Swiss Miss?’” Brian asks in an interview as the PPC works on cleaning up the mess.

“Spanish tapas and Swiss Miss hot cocoa,” he replies. “What’s so hard to understand?”

Pam’s gifts to the crew this year are store-bought cards with coupons to the Steamtown Mall. Happily, due to a surplus in the party budget, Pam was able to put $50 on all of the gift cards.

\---

Things between Brian and Alissa have cooled into an uninterested coexistence. They seem to live separate lives now, with Alissa attending social functions without Brian, and Brian spending more and more of his free time at the gym or helping Joe with the editing. When they do talk, they don’t even fight; they just sigh at the choices they’ve made and pretend that this is normal.

On New Years Eve, Brian grudgingly agrees to go to a party with Alissa at one of the swanky downtown clubs. It’s a black tie affair, so he leaves it up to Alissa to dress him. It turns out to be a big mistake.

“What the hell are these?” she asks sharply, walking into the living room with a shoebox in her hands. Brian’s stomach drops--he’d long forgotten about those cards Pam used to do, and the fact that he’d hidden them in that shoebox. 

“Uhh...” He’s as quick as Jim lately.

“What are these, Brian?” Alissa asks even louder. “Are these love letters?”

“No!” he says adamantly, jumping up from the couch. “No, Ali, those are just cards--she gave them to everyone--”

“And you have them hidden in an unused shoebox, why?” she demands.

He can’t answer her. Every excuse that pops into his head sounds dumb. 

“You’re in love with her,” she says slowly. “I’m so stupid... you’re in love with Pam...”

“No! No,” Brian says hastily. “Look--I won’t lie to you. I used to have feelings for her.” Alissa looks at him murderously, but he adds, “It was years ago, before us, before _them_. I forgot about these cards, otherwise I would’ve thrown them out!”

“You expect me to believe that?” she says incredulously. “You just stopped having feelings for her, but you still follow her around everywhere, watching her every move?”

“It’s not like that anymore, Ali.” He lie burns on his tongue, but he can’t stand the thought of hurting Alissa like this. Somewhere, deep down, she is still the woman he fell in love with.

She throws the box at him, shoes and all. The cards flutter to the floor around him, memories of simpler times. He picks them up and throws them in the fireplace. Alissa watches as he strikes a match and lights the keepsakes on fire. It feels like part of him dies as he watches them burn, but he has to do something to save his marriage.

“Are there any others?”

“No, I swear.” He stands up and takes her hands in his. “Please, Ali. Let’s just go to this party. I’m so sorry.” 

She smiles reluctantly and kisses him, but nothing is the same after that. At midnight, they kiss, but it feels empty, like the spark is gone. He feels broken and cold, like he doesn’t even know who she is anymore. And Alissa doesn’t seem to be interested in going back, either.

\---

They begin the New Year at the office with Jim storming out after biting his lip three times. 

Brian thinks he’s probably had worse days.

\---

A week later, Pam comes in looking so tired that Erin mistakes her for Meredith. That sends Pam straight into the conference room to explain herself. “Jim’s been spending a few days a week in Philly, and I’m not gonna lie, it’s been challenging. Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse: I found out Cece has lice. So I was up all night disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy, item of clothing, in the entire house. I’m exhausted.”

She takes a breath, and Brian’s never seen her so run down. But she immediately sits up straighter and says, “But don’t tell Jim. He has a big meeting today, under a lot of pressure, and he’s doing it all for the family.”

Well, at least someone’s having a worse time than Brian.

She asks Meredith to turn in her supply requests, and Meredith snaps, “Jesus H in the morning, will you stop your nagging already? No wonder Jim left you.”

“He didn’t leave me, he just went part-time,” Pam says defensively, but Meredith’s stopped listening--she’s scratching her head vigorously. Pam’s eyes widen and she says, “Can you just fill out the form, please?” 

She heads right back into the conference room, where she answers a question Brian didn’t even ask. “I’m sure she’s just confused! People scratch their heads when they’re confused. Not always like an ape, the way Meredith just did, but it happens.”

Erin is well-versed in lice, having had them twenty-two times, and she spots them on Meredith’s scalp, which sends Dwight into a frenzy. After careful examinations, it’s determined that everyone except Dwight, Darryl, Nellie, Phyllis, and Kevin have lice. Dwight sends the uninfected people to the warehouse as he dons his personal Hazmat suit. 

“Maybe it was Meredith,” Pam says feverishly, looking worse for wear in her third interview of the morning. “Maybe she brought in lice that are totally different from the lice that I got from Cece. So, let’s not jump to the simplest conclusion, that she got her lice from me. That is how wars get started.”

She looks at Brian, who stares her down with a hard look until she says in a small voice, “Fine, I’ll tell her it was me.”

Brian’s feeling a little irritable, since the entire crew also has lice.

She chickens out of telling the truth when she finds Meredith shaving her head in the breakroom. “I’m going to tell her!” Pam says to them in a whisper, “But now is clearly not the time! I will buy her a wig, we’ll have a few laughs. There’s a right way to do this!”

In her guilt, Pam volunteers to go buy mayonnaise for everyone to put in their hair, which Erin swears will suffocate the lice without any harmful chemicals. She calls Jim on her way back, but he’s still in his meeting so she doesn’t want to stress him out. She drops two jars of mayonnaise as she’s talking and it seems like her day can’t get any worse.

Everyone buddies up, and Creed is dismayed to be paired up with Pam. “Oh God, stuck with the weirdo,” he mutters to himself.

Joe, who had followed Jim to Philly, is unhappy to hear that his crew has gotten lice, and he instructs them to power through it and film even as they have mayonnaise in their hair.

Pam’s day gets even worse when she puts her mother on speakerphone. Apparently Cece still has lice, and everyone figures out that Pam brought the nuisance into the office.

She apologizes profusely to everyone, especially Meredith, but everyone’s irritable with itchy scalps. It’s not until Pam leaves a voicemail for Jim at the end of the day that Meredith relents, offering to take Pam out for a beer. 

“I just did not realize how hard it was gonna be without Jim! I mean, I really respect you for being a single mom all these years. It whipped my ass in half a week!” 

She looks amazing with her frizzy curls back, sipping a beer with a bald woman. Brian can hardly take his eyes off her.

\---

“You were out late,” Alissa says in an emotionless voice when Brian gets home.

“Yeah. A couple of the staffers went to a bar after work, and I had to cover it.”

“Was one of them Pam?”

Brian sighs. “I thought we were past this, Ali.”

“I’ll be past it when your contract is up,” she says, turning her gaze back to the TV.

\---

On a whim, Pam accompanies Darryl on his interview with Jim’s new company, since there’s no boss to hold her accountable anyway. She gets a bit of culture shock when they arrive, though, because she’d been expecting a dive, but their office is pretty swanky. 

She sits out in the reception area as Darryl interviews with Jim and his team, and the receptionist makes small talk with her. 

“By the way, Jim talks about you all the time.”

“That’s sweet, that he talks about me.”

“It’s too bad that he still has to work part-time in Scranton, though.”

Pam makes a face. “Well that’s funny, because I think of him as working part-time in Philadelphia.”

The kid doesn’t seem to get it. He just grins cluelessly and says, “We can’t wait till you move here.” 

Pam knits her brow in confusion. 

Darryl’s interview doesn’t go well--he kills some fish in a freak accident--but he gets the job anyway, which seems to get Pam down. 

“Are you upset?” Brian asks with great concern as they stand outside the Athlead office. 

“No, I’m not upset, I’m really excited for Darryl. Maybe I’m a little disappointed that we’ll be losing him.” Her face falls a little. 

On the ride home with Darryl, Pam doesn’t talk much. Brian knows, because he helps Joe review the footage later that evening. Darryl is excited about his upcoming move, but Pam seems distracted and even upset at the idea of moving to Philadelphia.

\---

Cece has a ballet recital in the middle of a Friday, which Jim is going out of his way to attend, according to Pam. On the way there, she tells Cece that Daddy will be home for dinner that night, and it’s hard to tell who is happier about that. She calls Jim on speakerphone to ask if he’s almost to the venue, and he regretfully tells her that he’s not able to make it.

“This huge investor all of a sudden got cold feet, so I’m stuck here trying to keep him onboard.” 

“Hon, I wish you had told me an hour ago, when you knew you weren’t gonna make it,” Pam says in a cheerful but deadly voice.

He apologizes, asking Pam to record the recital so he can watch it later, then asks if he needs to go over how to record things with her phone. Pam gets snippy and says, “I think I know how to point a rectangle at something.”

As Pam’s recording Cece’s bit, she gets a phone call from the City of Scranton, informing her that she’s been chosen to do a special mural downtown. She’s ecstatic about the news, so much that she’s able to blow off the angry glares of the other parents as she goes back to recording Cece.

“Congratulations, Beesly,” Brian says once they’re out in the parking lot and away from accusatory stares. She beams at him as she dials Jim’s number, forced to leave yet another voicemail.

When she tries to show off the video to Oscar, she’s horrified to find that the phone call had ruined it. She takes it in stride, still riding high from her good news. “I haven’t told anyone here about the mural yet,” she says. “I want Jim to be the first to know. Whenever I tell him good news, he’s always like, ‘Beesly!’ I love that. Only thing better than getting the job. ‘Beesly!’” 

Her giddiness is infectious, even Carmen’s grinning back at her. 

Not much happens for the rest of the day. Some kind of intervention between Pete and Erin had happened earlier while they were at the recital, and Erin’s started treating him formally. He’s crestfallen when she calls him “Peter,” seeming to deflate at the copier. Nellie reassembles her Youth Outreach task force, giving them an excuse to work together again, which makes them both happy. 

Pam stays a little late, since she missed about two hours of work during the day. Greg and Quin have just returned from accompanying Dwight and Darryl on some strange trip, and they join Brian and Carmen in filming as the staff files out. Pam’s eagerly anticipating a phone call from Jim, so that she can finally tell Jim about her mural commission, and the crew is similarly excited for her to share her news. Everyone’s always rooted for Pam. 

Finally, just after Creed has left the office empty except for Pam and the crew, her cell phone rings. She smiles giddily as she answers.

“Hey!” she says happily. Thanks to her mic, Brian can hear Jim respond in kind through his headset. “So how’s it going?”

“We lost Bridgeport Capital,” he hears Jim say, his voice laced with defeat. “I have no idea what happened, it’s like everything I did, he just wouldn’t go for it.”

“I’m so sorry,” Pam says, some of the light going from her eyes.

“I have no idea where we’re going to come up with this money, we have to work insanely hard over the next few weeks.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” Pam says sympathetically. “I feel like you’ve already been working insanely hard.”

“Can you figure out how to upload Cece’s dance recital? I definitely could use a pick-me-up.” He sounds tired and irritable. 

Pam laughs uneasily. “Um, actually, funny story, I didn’t get it. I shouldn’t have been so cocky about my rectangle-holding skills after all.”

“You’re not serious, are you? You didn’t get any of the recital?”

“No,” Pam says, still trying to keep it light. “I got the teacher introducing them, and then the applause afterwards, but not so much of the middle part.” 

“Come on, Pam. Pam! I asked you if you could use the phone, and you swore that you knew how.”

The smile is completely gone now as Pam goes on the defensive. “Yeah, okay, I’m sorry. I’m sure we can get a copy, a lot of people were taping it.”

Carmen’s looking at Brian quizzically, because he’s the only one who can hear both sides of the conversation, and it must be confusing to only hear Pam’s responses. Jim doesn’t usually talk to her like this.

“Oh great, so we’ll see someone else’s kid with Cece in the background?” Brian watches as Pam makes a face of utter disbelief. “I mean, it’s really not that hard to film a video.”

“Is there... are... you wanna ease up a little bit?” Pam asks.

“Look, Pam, I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, what do I do? It’s gone, that moment’s just gone. I missed it.”

“I don’t know, Jim, maybe you should’ve been there,” Pam says pointedly. 

“You’re not serious, right? I mean, how is that fair? I’m in Philly, these are my days in Philly, you’ve agreed to this--”

“You know what, I don’t think you want to start a conversation with me about what’s fair, okay? This is way more intense than I ever thought--”

“I am not explaining this to you, Pam, I’m not going over this again,” Jim says shortly. Brian can hear someone calling his name in the background. “I don’t know how else to tell you, okay? I’m doing everything I can, every week, to bring home something for our family--”

“I am! I--I am trying to make everything perfect here, okay, so that you can have everything that you want,” Pam says angrily. 

“I’m doing this just for me? Is that what I’m doing? I’m doing it just for me. If that’s what you think, then this is a really sad night.” 

Pam’s fighting tears now, her face scrunched up with the effort to hold them back.

“You know what? I gotta go,” Jim snaps. “Okay?”

“Yep,” Pam says, trying not to give it away.

“We’ll talk tomorrow?”

“Yep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“All right,” Jim says roughly, his voice fading as his phone moves away from his face. “Great. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

Brian hears the line go dead as Pam says, “Bye,” to an empty line. As soon as she hangs up, she puts her head in her hands and starts to cry. After a few seconds, she looks straight up at Brian with tear-filled eyes and holds her hands up questioningly. He can only look at her wordlessly, trapped between two cameras, and something breaks inside him when she looks away and puts her face back in her hands, crying harder. 

“Hey, you okay?” he asks softly, and Carmen gives him an alarmed look.

Pam shakes her head and asks in a choked voice, “What am I doing wrong, Brian?” It’s so lost, and so unlike her.

“Nothing,” he says honestly. “You’re doing the best you can.”

“Brian!” Greg hisses, because he’s breaking so many rules right now, but he just doesn’t care anymore. 

“Give her a minute,” he says to Greg, pulling down the boom mic as he removes his headset. He approaches Pam, leaning the boom pole against Jim’s desk as he kneels in front of her. He places a consoling hand on her shoulder as she sobs into her hands. “Hey, it’s just a tough situation, all right?” he says. 

“It’s... getting tougher,” she says between sobs. “I just... didn’t know it was... gonna be this hard.”

“Yeah,” he says softly, feeling too many things all at once. Mostly, he feels the lenses of the cameras pointing straight at them. “Let’s turn the cameras off, seriously, guys,” he says, putting his hands up in Greg’s direction, because Carmen’s already stopped rolling. “Enough. Enough!”

Greg regretfully lowers the camera as Pam whispers, “Thank you,” to Brian. 

He glares at Greg and Carmen until they’re out of the room, then tells Pam, “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“How do you know that?” she asks between sobs. “This is just... impossible.”

“He had a bad day,” Brian says bracingly. “Things will get better once he’s settled in there.”

“I don’t want to move to Philly,” she cries.

He rubs her shoulder gently. “Maybe you should tell him that.”

She cries for a few more minutes, and he stays kneeled in front of her, like a worshipper at her altar. He can’t stand to see her this way, and he wishes there was something he could do to fix it, but anything he could say would likely put her on the defensive. So he continues making soothing sounds and murmuring that everything’s going to work out. 

After she composes herself, he walks her out to her car. “You gonna be okay?” he asks as she gets in.

“I think so,” she says tiredly. “Thanks so much, Brian. You’re always there when I have these little breakdowns.”

He puts his hands in his pockets. “Yeah.” 

He stands there until she’s gone, letting the dread and fear overtake the sympathy and compassion.

He wonders how many times he’s made Alissa cry like that. 

He’s beginning to feel like a real piece of shit.

\---

He’s called in the next day, Saturday, for a proper reprimand.

“Just what the hell did you think you were doing?” Joe thunders.

“You already got footage of her crying, what more did you want? A complete mental break?” 

Joe shakes his head incredulously. “I was willing to ignore this for years, Brian, but this is becoming a problem. You interrupted filming, and for something so stupid--married couples fight all the time!”

“She’s been under a lot of stress lately, and it seemed like too much.”

“That’s not for you to determine!”

“When is it going to be enough?” Brian demands. He’s not used to arguing with Joe, usually he leaves that up to other people, but he feels strong in his convictions. “When do we stop treating them like animals in a zoo and start treating them like humans? I didn’t feel it was right to keep filming her, so I made the decision to stop it.”

“You’re getting too close to her.”

“Bullshit!” Brian snaps. “I was too close to her six years ago, you just pretended not to notice!”

They stare at each other in silence, then finally, Joe says in a low, dangerous voice, “Don’t interrupt filming again, Brian. You’re on thin ice here. I should reassign you to Jim and make you go to Philly.”

“Please, don’t,” Brian says tiredly. “Alissa and I... we’re having some problems lately, and being gone for most of the week won’t help with that. I won’t step out of line again, I promise.” 

Joe relents. “Fine. But Brian, I’m serious. Thin ice.”

“Got it,” Brian says, leaving before things can escalate any more.

\---

He decides not to tell Alissa that he was formally reprimanded for interrupting filming. He doesn’t think the Pam of it all would bode well for their brittle relationship. What he doesn’t expect is the guilt he feels for keeping it from her. At this point, it’s starting to feel like he’s cheating. 

\---

On Monday morning, he’s packing his sound bag at Meredith’s desk when Pam approaches him. “Hey Brian, you got a sec?” 

Luckily, he knows Joe is in Philly today. Quin and Greg are in the annex, and Carmen’s left her camera on the floor beside Oscar’s desk as she makes a quick run to the ladies room. 

“Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say, and it’s... it’s all right,” he says. He turns to pick up his boom mic, expecting her to drop the subject, but she doesn’t.

“No, I... I heard you got in trouble. I feel awful.”

“It’s fine,” he replies honestly. “It’s my first slip-up in nine years of mic’ing you.” 

She stands there awkwardly, for the first time in years, and he messes with the boom mic just for something to do. “Well, thanks for being a good friend,” she says, her eyes boring into his with her usual earnestness. 

“Sure, anytime,” he says, trying to appear unaffected. “How about you and Jim? Everything squared away?”

“Yeah,” she lies. She doesn’t meet his eyes, and he puts his free hand in his pocket as he stares her down until she amends, “Mostly.” 

“Pam, phone call,” Erin calls from reception. 

“Oh, um...” She seems like she has more to say, and Brian’s sort of at a loss here. “Hey, say ‘Hi’ to Alissa.”

“Will do,” he says, still confused and a little relieved that the encounter is over. 

“Thank you,” she says again.

“Sure.”

What is her deal?

He’s bending to pick up his extra cable when he hears, “Hey, boom guy.”

“Oh, hey Meredith,” he says warily, turning to the face her as he clutches his sound items.

“When are you gonna _boom_ me?” she asks suggestively.

“Ah, listen, they’re cracking down on us talking to the subjects. You know, it’s a lame rule, but I wanna... I, just, I’ll see you later.”

“Got it,” Meredith says, winking at him, but he’s never been so grateful for Joe’s strict rules as he hurries away from her.

\---

On Thursday, Dwight is interviewing junior salesmen to fill in for Jim while he’s in Philly. “Finally, someone who gets me!” Dwight crows. “It’s like, ‘Really Jim? You don’t understand the difference between a slaughterhouse and a rendering plant? Uh, remind me not to lend you any dead cows or horses!’” 

“Big changes coming to the ol’ desk clump,” Dwight says later as he sits at his desk. “No longer a Pam-Jim alliance against Dwight. Now it is Dwight-and-a-friend axis against Pam!”

“You could’ve just called that an alliance too, right?” Jim asks.

“I chose my words very carefully,” Dwight replies. 

“Things are a little delicate between me and Pam right now,” Jim says in his interview. “And if my working in Philly is going to end up doubling the amount of Dwight in her life, that’s only gonna make things worse.”

Brian thinks maybe Jim overestimates how much Dwight really annoys Pam.

Jim makes it his mission to make sure Pam doesn’t get saddled with someone who will annoy her. She tries to blow it off, saying, “It’s just a seating arrangement,” but she seems a little downcast today.

Jim fixates on Clark, who seems unobtrusive and eager to be a good salesman. He also isn’t one of Dwight’s allies, doesn’t have body odor, and doesn’t appear to suffer from halitosis. 

Dwight is outraged at the very thought. “I can’t hire Clark! Yeah, he looks like a Schrute, but he thinks like a Halpert, and he acts like a Beesly!”

Pam’s mood darkens as she works on her mural, where she’s heckled once again by Hide. “Why you make trees into bushes? You don’t get paper from bushes!” 

Luckily, none of Dwight’s friends are proving to be employable, and Dwight enlists Jim’s help to turn them all down for the job. It gets all of his friends mad at him, and leaves Dwight depressed about losing all of them in one day. But in the end, he hires Clark, who fits in seamlessly with the desk clump. Pam brightens considerably when she sees her new desk mate.

Brian and Carmen follow Jim downstairs as he leaves early for Philly, and Brian asks, “Does it really matter who ends up sitting at your desk while you’re gone?”

Jim shrugs. “Not really, I mean...” He trails off, staring off into space as he contemplates his answer. “No, it does matter who ends up sitting next to Pam while I’m gone. The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with. I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all of those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love.” He grins. “So that stuff matters. It definitely does.”

They get back upstairs and join Greg in filming the new sales desk clump. Clark offers to get Pam something from the kitchen, but when Dwight requests a coffee, Clark denies him. Clark was treated pretty badly by Dwight throughout the course of the day, so Dwight has it coming. Still, as Clark disappears into the kitchen, Pam notices Dwight’s downtrodden expression and decides to throw him a bone. 

“Hey Dwight. Wanna haze the new guy?”

Dwight looks at her suspiciously. “Who, me?”

Pam nods. “Us.”

A look of pure joy blossoms over Dwight’s face. “Absolutely I do!”

Pam grins back at him as she stands up and opens one of the drawers of Jim’s desk. “Okay, okay,” she says, pulling out a roll of plastic wrap, “So the next time he goes to the bathroom, I’ll distract him, you take that--”

“Okay, yeah, yeah,” Dwight says gleefully, taking the plastic wrap from her. “Okay. Oh, that’s great!” 

Clark comes back to his desk, and a few seconds later, Dwight’s wrapping his head in plastic wrap. 

He starts to scream and panic, his fingers clutching at the plastic as Dwight laughs demonically. Pam, frozen in horror, is yelling, “No! Dwight!”

She jumps up to pull Dwight away. Clark gasps for air as the plastic falls from his face, but Dwight’s still laughing and chanting, “You just got hazed!” 

It takes everyone a few minutes to settle down after this. Clark starts laughing when Pam tells him what the real prank was supposed to be, and Pam’s laughing with him, seeming to forget for a moment that her husband should be sitting there. Brian watches her adjust to her new life with a newfound admiration, remembering what Jim said about the importance of the people in your life. In a way, he’s right: Brian never would have given Pam a second look if he hadn’t been assigned to follow her around for a month. 

He smiles as he watches her, feeling nostalgic and a bit sad, because she never gave him a second glance, either. 

He’s been in love with her for almost nine years, and she still has no idea. 

\---

“Pam said to tell you she says, ‘Hi.’” 

Alissa rolls her eyes, pushing her braised pork medallions around on her plate. 

“Ali, you liked her before you found out about my old feelings for her,” Brian says tentatively. 

“And I still like her. She’s a lovely person. You guys could’ve been very happy together.” 

But she doesn’t sound mad anymore. She sounds tired. She sounds like Brian feels.

Suddenly, the last two years come crashing down on him. He doesn’t know where everything went so wrong, but he remembers being happy with Alissa, he remembers being in love, and hoping for the future, and craving her presence. He lost that somewhere along the way, and now he’s sitting across from a stranger at a kitchen table they’d chosen for their life together. 

He clears his throat and says, “I’m gonna go shower.” 

Alissa doesn’t even look up--she’s waiting for him to leave the room. He gets the impression that she’s always waiting for him to leave these days.

In the shower, he stands under the warm stream of water and cries for the first time in years. He cries for everything he lost, everything he did wrong, and for missing out on properly loving a woman as beautiful and kind as Alissa. 

He’s never felt so lost.

\---

About a week later, Pam’s mural is nearing completion. As she heads down to the warehouse early on a Wednesday morning, she tells the crew, “I’ve really been putting in the hours on this mural. And my boss is totally okay with it, because he’s in the Bahamas and he has no idea what anyone’s doing. I’m usually very self-critical. I hate what I paint. But, I don’t know, this time I feel like it’s really coming together--OH MY GOD!”

Brian and Carmen swing around in alarm as Pam stares past them. Her mural has been defaced with spray-painted graffiti of butts and the words “This sucks.” 

Brian feels a great swell of indignation on her behalf as he holds the boom mic aloft. 

“What--you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Pam’s sputtering. “What is--are those--are those butts?” She turns to the warehouse, where all of the workers pretend not to hear her. “No way! No way!” 

She goes up in the lift, holding a megaphone. “Attention, everyone. Can I have your attention, please? Yeah, I don’t know everyone’s name down here, but whoever did this, will you please raise your hand?”

No one answers, and she threatens to stay up there all day. When she’s ignored, even by Val, she comes back down and is ready to head back upstairs when Brian stops her for an interview.

“I don’t demand justice often. I’m not like Angela, who calls a lawyer every time someone watches a YouTube video of animals doing it, but someone should get fired over this, right?” she asks, pleading her case to the film crew. “Val’s no help. Andy’s gone. Jim’s out. I just feel like I’m on my own here.”

Figuring she could use a distraction, Brian taps her lightly on the top of her head with the boom mic. Carmen rolls her eyes, but Pam smiles.

“I mean, okay, not completely on my own, but in terms of people who can do something. Thank you, Brian.” She grins, then sighs. 

Brian hopes Joe never sees that in post.

Pam storms upstairs and bellows, “Conference room, everybody, now!”

Dwight immediately challenges her. “You don’t have the clearance to call a conference room meeting.” 

“Yes, but David Wallace does, and he asked me to gather everyone to talk about stuff,” Pam invents wildly. “That’s gonna be revealed once we’re in the conference room for the meeting.”

“You’re telling me that David Wallace asked you to call a super-secret, classified conference room meeting?” Dwight asks incredulously.

“Yeah,” Pam replies sassily. 

That convinces him. “Let’s go everyone! Super-secret, classified conference room meeting, now!” 

Pam gets straight to the point as soon as the door is shut. “I have terrible news: someone defaced my mural. They painted all over it!”

After she has to explain the vandalism to Erin, Oscar asks, “Pam, what can be done?”

“Yes! Thank you, let’s answer that question,” Pam says urgently. 

“Oh, I was politely saying, ‘Nothing can be done.’ I thought I was clear,” Oscar says primly.

“What? Come on, guys, we need to figure out who did this and punish them! This isn’t just about me! This is about all of us, this is our mural! Don’t you see how much we worked on this, how much time and energy, we put our heart and soul into this thing!” Poor Pam is so caught up in the injustice.

Phyllis cocks her head. “David Wallace called this meeting?”

“Sure did. I was as surprised as you, but apparently he is very passionate about public art,” Pam says, bobbing her head in earnest. 

No one believes this, and they all stand up to leave, grumbling about the waste of time. 

“Pam!” Dwight says, emerging from the throng. “I’ll help you.”

“You will?” Pam asks gratefully. 

“If there’s anything I hate worse than art, it’s crime.” 

“Thank you?” 

Nellie appears beside Dwight. “I am in too, Pam.”

“You are?”

“Yes, of course! I believe in you, I believe in your art, and I am bored.” Brian can’t get over how classy all of it sounds in her accent, he’s highly susceptible to Nellie’s accent. 

“Great!” Pam says with difficulty. 

She sits for another interview, where Brian asks what she plans to do with Dwight and Nellie. “I was hoping for a righteous mob, I ended up with Dwight and Nellie. But they both have a mob mentality. And I’m pretty sure Dwight has a pitchfork in his car.”

“You need my pitchfork?” Dwight asks from outside the door, then runs out to his car without waiting for an answer. Pam sighs and smiles in a resigned sort of way.

It’s shaping up to be a pretty fun day, vandalism aside.

Their first plan is to find the culprit by having each warehouse worker draw butts on pieces of paper. No one falls for it.

“We need another approach,” Pam says. “We need to find the weakest one, and separate him from the... group...” Her eyes land on Nate, who is struggling with a simple piece of cardboard. “Yeah. I think if we could get Nate alone, we could crack him!”

Dwight nods. “We just need a pretense to talk to him. We could tell him that his mother is dying! That usually works on him.” Pam looks horrified as Dwight holds up his phone and calls out, “Nate! Your mother is dying.”

They watch as he sinks to the floor, grief-stricken. Pam turns to Dwight and whispers, “See, I feel bad about that...”

“It’s all right, it’s all right,” Dwight says bracingly. 

They get Nate into Val’s office, where Dwight assures him that his mother is doing well. They then bribe him with chewing gum in exchange for the culprit, and Nate is immediately distracted.

“Gum’s gotten mintier lately. Have you noticed? Like, some of it’s just too minty, it’s like they’re literally trying to hurt your mou--”

Pam steps forward, her face transformed, and slams her small fist on Val’s desk. “Tell us who defaced the mural!” 

Brian shudders involuntarily. That was unexpectedly hot.

Nate, cowed, points at a burly bearded guy and says, “He did it.”

Pam glares down at him triumphantly. “All right. You can go, give him his gum.”

“There’s no gum! There never was any gum!” Dwight says. 

The culprit’s name is Frank, and Pam and Nellie call in Toby for some human resources intervention. Dwight sits this one out, declaring HR useless, but Pam has high hopes. 

She starts out by apologizing to Frank for whatever offenses she may have caused, but Frank is not receptive. Instead of a real apology, he snidely says, “I’m sorry I didn’t like your crappy doodles.”

Pam recoils. 

“I drew a butt!” he continues. “Big deal. Butts are funny.”

“Well, I didn’t think that butt was funny!” Pam retorts.

“Well maybe if you got the stick out of yours!”

“What was that?” Pam asks, aghast. 

“And you know what? You people can’t fire me, so screw you!” Frank stands up as Pam gapes at him, her mouth hanging open in horror. Brian is outraged on her behalf, angry that no one with power is here to stop this guy.

“Whoa! Hey! That is not okay!” she says, turning to Toby. “What are you going to do about that?”

Toby mumbles about hearing actual apologies in Frank’s speech, and Brian’s never thought he’d identify so closely with Michael Scott. Toby actually is the worst.

Pam goes straight to Dwight. “That sucked. He didn’t apologize, there’s no talking to that guy!”

“Oh, your little feelings party didn’t work out, huh? Who won the hugging contest? No, let me guess, everyone tied for first!” 

Pam doesn’t let his sarcasm deter her. “We should just take him down.”

Now she has his interest. “Wait... are you saying...?”

“I’m saying we should go scorched earth on that guys face,” Pam says with conviction. 

Dwight grins slowly. He almost looks like that Grinch caricature that Pam drew years ago, the one Brian had to burn in the fireplace.

In his interview, Dwight says, “Normally I find Pam to be a comforting, if unarousing, presence around the office, like a well-watered fern. But today, she’s tapped into this vengeful, violent side, and I’m like, ‘Wow. Pam has kind of a good butt.’”

She has an amazing butt, but that’s beside the point. Brian’s just relieved that someone competent in the art of revenge exacting is going to help Pam exact some revenge.

They decide they need to go with an eye-for-an-eye scenario, which means they need to figure out what’s important to Frank. They send Clark down into the warehouse as a mole, but he’s caught and tied to a chair within five minutes.

That’s when it occurs to Pam to call Darryl. She and Dwight hide behind stacks of boxes, spying on Frank, as she places the call.

“Hey, you know that guy Frank who works in the warehouse?”

“He’s not my hire, but I know who he is,” Brian hears Darryl say.

Pam asks what Frank’s favorite things are, which makes Darryl think Frank is retiring. “I know he loves his pickup truck,” he says helpfully.

“Oh, great, his truck!” she says, flagging down Dwight.

“Great, get the plate number,” Dwight says in an undertone.

“Okay, do you know the plate numb--never mind, why would you know that? And why would I be asking that?” 

“So we know which truck--” Dwight starts indignantly, but Pam waves him off. 

Dwight sneaks into the HR files and discovers that Frank drives a blue Sierra, so he and Pam head down to the parking lot to find his truck and paint it. Pam takes the driver’s side door as Dwight paints the tailgate, and after about twenty minutes, she says, “I’m done, what’re you--”

Dwight’s working meticulously on a painting of a man chopping down a tree. 

“Is that supposed to be my mural?”

“Yeah,” Dwight says. “Frank draws a butt on your mural, I’m drawing your mural on Frank’s truck’s butt!” He grins at his own cleverness. “Eye for an eye, mamacita.” 

“Aw, Dwight, that’s really sweet,” Pam says, touched, which she should be, since Dwight claims to hate art. 

“Let’s see yours,” Dwight says, rounding the truck to check on her painting. 

“Oh--no, I’m embarrassed, it’s stupid--” Pam stutters.

Dwight gasps as he takes in the fat caricature of Frank, drawn to look like he’s sitting in the driver’s seat. He looks like a troll. “This is amazing!” Dwight effuses, pointing at it. “Frank! And he’s leaving a trail of... poops?” 

"Yeah! And he has saggy boobs," Pam says, pointing to the appropriate body parts.

"Ah! That's great!" Dwight says with unmitigated delight.

"I feel better," Pam confesses.

"Good. I'm glad you feel better. This has been a wonderful day," Dwight declares. "And I have to say: I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch."

"I know," Pam says, smiling. "You miss Angela, don't you?"

"Ugh!" Dwight visibly recoils. "Don't sympathize! You're ruining the mood! Back to work. Draw his penis!" He resumes work on his recreation of her mural as Pam shrugs and begins drawing a penis on the troll.

He gets a text from Joe that says he'll be back from Philly around 6 to review footage. That means another late night, but Brian doesn't care. Dwight and Pam work all the way up until 4:45, until most of the truck is covered with paint. It's a thing of beauty, and this is hands-down one of Brian's favorite things Pam has ever done. 

Brian and Carmen are joined by Greg and Quin as they follow Pam down to her car at the end of the day. She's loading things into her trunk as she tells Carmen, "I got back at Frank in the most fitting way possible: with my art. The paints are water-based, it's gonna come off with a hose, but the lesson will last a very--"

"LADY!" 

Across the parking lot, Frank throws open the lobby doors and stomps out into the sunlight, clearly on a tear. "My truck? You had no right!"

Brian recognizes this prowl--it looks like how Roy paced around the parking lot the day he came upstairs and assaulted Jim. But Dwight's not here with pepper spray this time--he left a few minutes ago for an appointment with his apiarist. 

"No, you had no right!" Pam shouts back.

"It's a forty thousand dollar truck!" Frank thunders. Brian tenses up, watching as he gets nearer to Pam. 

"So? You started it!" 

"So?" Frank repeats, coming up on his toes as he lunges forward. "So someone needs to shut you up!"

He's running right at Pam, and Brian's instincts kick in. "Hey hey hey!" he yells, leaping between them, but Frank's got tunnel vision on Pam, and every nerve in Brian's body is terrified of letting this guy get any closer to her. He raises the boom and smashes it into the guy's face, connecting with his nose and sending him to the ground.

Brian pulls off his headset and the sound pack, setting everything on the ground as gingerly as possible as Frank gets back to his feet. "Easy!" he yells, putting his hands out, but Frank assumes a sumo-like pose and lunges for Brian, growling, "Son of a bitch!" 

"Guys?!" Pam's yelling as Brian throws all of his weight against Frank. He's angry now, angry that he's the only one defending her, angry that it got this far, angry that Pam got into this mess in the first place. “You're gonna hit a woman?" Brian yells, but then Quin is pulling him off as Greg is detained by Frank. 

"No! Stop!" Greg is yelling, pushing Frank toward the hedges. Brian gets up, glaring at the warehouse worker who is spewing obscenities and promising to kill him. 

It's all over in a matter of a minute; Pam runs inside, and Quin's yelling at Brian to calm down. Frustrated, Brian grabs his sound equipment and storms upstairs. He doesn't see Pam, but that's good for the moment. He goes into the film closet and throws his stuff on the table, angry with himself. 

Ten minutes later, Greg comes in to find Brian sitting on the couch by reception, staring at his hands. "Val's still here. She's firing Frank for attempting to assault an office worker. He's been escorted off the property."

Brian doesn't look at him. 

"Have you seen Pam?"

"No," Brian says shortly. 

Greg sighs. "Brian, you know what this means."

He nods. "Yeah. I do." 

Carmen appears a few minutes later, sitting beside Brian with her camera on her lap. "It's been great working with you, Brian," she says quietly. 

"Thanks. You too."

"It's shitty that they were all just going to stand there," Carmen says in an undertone. "They think you did it because you're in love with her, but I think you're just a decent person."

He chuckles darkly. "Try telling that to Joe. He's not going to see it that way."

Carmen smiles at him. "It's nice that you've stopped denying you love her, though."

Yeah. Sure it is. 

When Joe gets there, he’s apprised of the situation by Greg and Quin, while Brian sits in angry silence. He’s still upset that these men were going to stand by and watch a woman be assaulted, but Greg insists that there’s no way of knowing if Frank was even going to hit her. It was pretty clear to Brian, but apparently it wasn’t as clear to everyone else. 

Joe has the decency to fire him in private. They sit in Darryl’s office as Joe talks about how much he’s liked working with Brian. “But I can’t hide this from the studio, and proper steps have to be taken.” 

Brian nods. The fact that he interfered with filming trumps any perceived acts of chivalry. 

“I hope to work with you on future projects,” Joe says, standing and holding out his hand. 

With a resigned grimace, Brian shakes Joe’s hand. 

“I have to go talk to Val. You have ten minutes to get your things together.” Joe gives him one last, pitying look before heading down to the warehouse.

Brian takes a moment to let it sink in. He can’t believe it’s over. 

When he gets to the film closet, he finds Pam standing by his locker, waiting for him.

“What happened?” she asks, like she’s scared of the answer.

He’s surprised she’s still here. Surprised, and happy. Suddenly all of his anger falls away, and he’s glad to have this last moment with her. 

“I got fired.”

Anguished, she asks, “Even though you were defending me?”

“Yeah, it’s... complicated,” Brian says, grabbing his bag from one of the shelves. 

“Well, I’m gonna say something to the producers,” Pam says firmly. 

“No, no, it’s--”

“You shouldn’t be fired! I mean--you were just protecting me!”

“It’s all good,” Brian assures her. “I knew what I was doing.” He’s very aware that this could be the last time he ever talks to her, and he doesn’t want her to be consumed with guilt over something he did. He starts pulling things from his locker and throwing them into his bag haphazardly as he says, “I’m sorry about your mural, though, you put so much into that.”

“Oh, no, no, forget about my mural, it’s stupid.”

“No!” Brian argues, remembering how excited she was this morning before she discovered the vandalism. “You worked hard on that! That guy’s an animal, I’m glad they’re firing him too.”

She lets out a huff of indignation. “It’s crazy!”

He shuts his locker and comes to stand in front of her. In the nine years of him following her, he’s never stood right in front of her, eye to eye, intimately. She’s looking up at him with that old, open earnestness he noticed in those early days, void of vengeance and anger, just full of regret. 

“Brian, I am so sorry...” she says softly.

“Look,” he says, steeling himself, because he knows what he’s facing at home, and he knows what his future looks like starting tomorrow, and some things just need to be said, even if it makes him a piece of shit for saying it. “I don’t... I don’t want to put myself where I don’t belong.”

This is usually where Pam looks away. He’s seen it a hundred times, she always looks away and changes the subject and pretends these moments never happened. But she’s not doing that this time; she’s just staring up at him expectantly. 

“If you ever need me, you just call me, and I’ll be there for you,” he says. His heart is racing, he’s having trouble catching his breath, but he’s staring into her eyes, because he wants to remember. 

Still, she holds his gaze. In that moment, he thinks she sees everything.

“Thanks, Brian,” she says, nodding, and he’s the first one to look away, because he came so close to doing something really stupid right then.

“See ya,” he mutters, moving past her, unable to look back because this is true heartbreak, all those things he felt when she got engaged, got married, had the babies--that’s nothing compared to what he’s feeling right now. This is desolation.

It turns into humiliation when he sees Greg standing in Andy’s office, camera trained on the film room, having captured the entire conversation.

\---

“You WHAT?”

Brian leans against the kitchen counter with his arms folded over his chest. He doesn’t even feel like defending himself at this point; he’s just so tired of fighting, mentally and physically. 

“I got fired.”

“How did you get _fired_ ,” Alissa asks heatedly, “When you only have three more months left on your _nine year contract_?”

He doesn’t respond at first, because he senses that he’s at a crossroads: he can lie to her and stop the bleeding for a while longer, or he can tell the truth and let it bleed out.

“Answer me, Brian,” she says in a dangerous voice.

He can’t even look at her. He’s gotten to the point where he can’t even be mad at Alissa anymore, because none of this is her fault. It’s all him, it’s always been him. “One of the warehouse guys... he was coming after Pam. I thought he was gonna hit her.”

Alissa’s eyes are slits, her cheeks red with anger. “This was about Pam.”

“He was coming after her, Ali. And a long time ago, I stood by and did nothing while she was in danger, and I’ve regretted it ever since. I did what I had to do.”

“What did you do?”

He sighs. “I hit him with the boom mic. Broke his nose, I think.”

He’s never seen his wife look so disgusted. “Was it worth it, Brian? Was it worth losing your job over her?”

“Hey!” he snaps, “I’d rather lose my job any day than sit by and let some guy hit a woman because she put some paint on his truck!”

“That’s not what this is about and you know it, Brian!” Alissa gets in his face, her nostrils flaring. “Just tell me the truth!”

“That’s not--”

“You can’t even be honest with yourself, can you?” she cries, her hands balled into fists. “Brian, just admit that you’re in love with her!”

“I’m in love with her!” he bellows, feeling all of the adrenaline from the day as he finally boils over. “I’ve loved her for years, but it has nothing to do with what happened today!”

She’s calmer now. She sits down at the table, looking tired and bitter, and he wells up as he watches her, feeling wretched for causing all of this pain.

“Alissa, I’m so--”

“I want a divorce.” She says it in a small voice, staring at her hands. 

“Please,” he says, coming to sit across from her. It all feels too real. “Alissa, we can work on this--”

“We can’t,” she says woodenly. “Brian, you’re in love with another woman.”

A lump rises in his throat as the tears threaten to spill over. She’s not crying, she’s just resigned. Was it always going to end like this? Or did he break her?

His voice is choked as he asks, “Is that really what you want?”

She nods, still not looking at him. “Yes.”

He stares at her for a few minutes, blinking away tears, then whispers, “I’ll pack a bag.”

Alissa stays in the kitchen as he packs. When he’s done, he shoulders his duffel and grabs his work bag before heading back into the kitchen. 

“I’ll... I’ll call you before I come get the rest of my stuff,” he says softly. She nods, and he wishes she’d look at him just once. He stands there for a moment, then says, “Alissa...”

She doesn’t respond, and he leaves without another word. 'I’m sorry' didn’t seem like enough.

\---

He checks into an extended-stay hotel, one that he’s never stayed in before. It’s almost 11:00 and he hasn’t eaten, but he doesn’t care. He gets in the shower and washes away the horrors of the day, his mind unable to focus on one thing. He pictures Alissa sitting expressionless in the kitchen, he sees Joe’s pitying expression, he sees Carmen’s regretful smile, and of course, he sees Pam’s earnest expression as she looked into his eyes.

He gets out and towels off, contemplating himself in the mirror. Tomorrow is for moving on; tonight is for mourning. 

He unpacks, feeling pathetic at his measly possessions. He finds a granola bar in his work bag and is ready to scarf it down when something bright red catches his eye. He pulls it out of his bag and realizes it’s an old Christmas gift. He vaguely remembers getting this from Pam... two years ago? Three? It’s hard to remember. It must’ve ended up in the back of his locker.

He opens the bag and finds a gift certificate to a local restaurant that had closed last year. There’s also a hand-drawn card, probably the last one Pam ever drew for him, that depicts a snowman holding a ream of paper. “Happy Holidays from Dunder Mifflin!” Pam had written in a cheery block font. 

Inside, Pam had drawn Brian on the left side of the card, holding a boom mic that extends all the way to the right side. Underneath it, Pam had written, “Thanks for booming our lives.”

Tears sting his eyes as he looks at the words she’d written him so long ago. He doesn’t even remember getting this gift from her. He checks the bag one last time and sees a folded-up piece of paper, which he pulls out and opens. It’s a drawing of a uniformed Patriots football player, presumably Tom Brady, with his arm around a cartoon version of Brian. They’re both grinning and waving, like they’re lifelong friends. Pam’s signature is in the corner. 

He laughs as the tears finally spill over, smoothing out the piece of paper on his desk. He’s glad he only found this now, otherwise it would’ve burned in the fireplace with everything else. 

\---

He puts in for a few freelance jobs in Scranton, but he’s not too hopeful. He buys a frame for Pam’s drawing and sets it up on his desk; whenever he feels depressed or listless, he only needs to look at it and his spirits pick up.

The day before Valentine’s Day, he picks up his things from Alissa’s house. It’s mostly clothes, odd sound equipment, and his cookware, but it fills up his Jeep nonetheless. Alissa’s quiet as she helps him load up, and when it’s time for him to leave, she doesn’t try to ask him to stay. 

“I’ll file the papers next week,” she says, crossing her arms as they stand at the driver’s side of the Jeep.

“Okay.” He puts his hands in his pockets, feeling awkward. It’s weird to talk about divorce so casually, like it’s on a list of Alissa’s errands. Go to the post office, pick up the drycleaning, file for divorce, get paper towels at the store...

“Brian,” she says suddenly, looking him straight in the eye. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he says softly. 

She’s blinking rapidly. “Did you ever love me?”

He smiles at her. “Of course I did, Alissa. I loved you so much.”

She gives him a wan smile. “I thought so.” She rolls her shoulders and shakes her head. “I think... we just got married too fast. Brian, I’ve felt guilty for so long for not wanting kids, but I don’t! I don’t want kids. And I think that’s when I knew... I was never going to be enough for you.” 

Brian shakes his head. “You were a wonderful wife, Ali. You don’t have to do this. I know it’s all my fault, and I’m... I’m so sorry.” 

She nods, turning to head inside. He opens the door to his Jeep, but then she stops him. “Brian.”

Her hand is on his arm, and for a moment, he’s afraid she’s going to beg him to stay. 

“You know you can’t go after her, right?”

He opens his mouth in surprise, but Alissa is full of conviction. “She’s married.”

He smiles at her sadly. “I know.”

As he drives to the hotel, he thinks maybe his own wife didn’t know him very well at all. 

He’s about to head out to the gym when his phone buzzes with a text. His stomach drops when he sees Pam’s name, and his hand is shaking as he reads it.

_Hey, do you and Alissa want to join me and Jim for lunch tomorrow? State Street Grill at noon. My treat._

He should tell her, but he doesn’t want her to think his marriage dissolved because he defended her. So he decides he will tell her--them--at lunch tomorrow.

_Sure. See you there._ He didn’t even lie.

\---

He waits nervously for them at State Street Grill, because they’re ten minutes late and he’s not that thrilled about seeing his former coworkers. Luckily, when Pam and Jim finally appear, they’re accompanied by Carmen and Tyler, who both give Brian smiles as they approach.

“Hey, sorry we’re late,” Pam says as Brian gives the camera a dubious look.

“Oh, no problem. I finished all the bread,” he jokes, holding up the empty basket.

“Aha, yeah, okay,” Pam laughs. 

Jim’s already lost. “What?”

“He’s on a no-carb thing, supposedly,” Pam explains, and Jim says, “Oh!” 

“It’s great to see you guys,” Brian says honestly. Really. He’s even happy to see Jim. “Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah,” Pam says sweetly.

“Are you kidding? Thank you, man. I’ve wanted the opportunity to say thanks for... everything,” Jim says earnestly. “And I’m really sorry about the job, that just seems crazy!”

“It’s fine,” Brian says flippantly. “What are you gonna do? But if you guys know of any work, I’m fully available.”

“My dad can’t hear a thing, you could boom his whole life for him,” Pam suggests. 

“Okay, great! Does he pay well?” He’s very conscious of the fact that the cameras are rolling, and he can’t believe everyone--Jim, Pam, Dwight, all of them--are so flippant about it. It’s downright stressful.

Pam laughs easily, all of the awkwardness from their last meeting melting away. She gestures toward the empty chair beside Brian and asks, “Where’s Alissa?”

“Ah, yeah, um... Alissa’s, she’s... she’s not gonna make it today.” This sounded way better in his head. 

“Oh,” Pam says, disappointed. 

“Actually... we’re not gonna make it.” He glances at Jim, but then focuses on Pam when he says, “We’re splitting up.” 

Their faces fall almost comically. It must be really hard for people such as Jim and Pam to contemplate a young couple going through divorce. 

“What happened?” Pam asks softly. 

“Dwight was right,” Brian says simply. “Vegas weddings, statistically, don’t last.”

“Dwight said that?” Jim asks flatly. 

“Brian, there must be something you can do... counseling or...” Pam says weakly.

“No,” he says, shaking his head, his nerves jangling because he’s talking about something so personal. “I’ve always wanted kids, a big family... and things started going downhill last summer when I found out Alissa doesn’t want kids.” 

Now he’s really stumped them, and it occurs to Brian that they’re both... scared. He’s forgotten, in all of the kerfuffle of Pam’s near-assault and his own life falling apart, that Jim and Pam are in a rough patch in their marriage. They’re at odds for what they want their lives to be, and just like Brian and Alissa, they’ve stopped talking about these things. 

Maybe he can help.

“Anyway, we both wanted different things. The kids thing was big, but it made all the smaller things seem more important. It got to the point that we were telling two different versions of the same story, and then everything just went numb.”

Pam’s eyes widen, but it’s Jim who speaks. “Well I mean, that’s okay. That doesn’t mean that it’s over, right? I mean, couples fight.” He gestures between himself and Pam.

“Yeah, that’s the thing,” Brian says, getting emotional despite himself. “When we were fighting, it weirdly felt like the relationship was still alive, and it wasn’t until we stopped fighting that... we realized it was over.” Brian glances at Pam; she’s giving him a troubled look, almost like she’s internally fighting against what he’s trying to tell her. 

“It’s... it’s over,” he says, fighting tears again. He feels stupid for letting his emotions take over, and he covers his face, apologizing. “We have to stop seeing each other like this,” he jokes with Pam, his lame attempt at levity. “We have to find another way to communicate, other than breaking down in front of each other.”

Pam lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah.” 

“At least my crying won’t get you fired,” he continues, but Pam’s face is frozen, and he realizes, too late, that he said something wrong.

Jim pulls his arm from behind Pam’s chair and leans forward. “Crying?” he asks softly.

Pam’s face falls as she stares into Brian’s eyes. He looks away guiltily, turning to Carmen, who gives him an exasperated look. He grimaces at her, but she goes back to filming as Jim asks Pam what Brian is talking about.

“Um... you remember when Cece had her recital?” Pam asks Jim softly. He nods, glancing between Pam and Brian. “Well, when I talked to you that night... I was at the office. And the film crew was still there.”

“Yeah, they were filming me in Philly, too,” Jim says, nonplussed.

“Right,” Pam says, taking a nervous breath. “But when we hung up, I kind of... started crying. And Brian got in trouble for making everyone stop filming.” 

Jim’s face is tragic. Brian feels bad about that, but he’d assumed, in the course of Pam telling him about Brian’s termination, that Pam had apprised him of the entire situation. It’s strange that she kept that part from him, and that she’s downplaying Brian’s role in what happened that day. He didn’t just stop filming, he interrupted it to comfort her. 

“Pam, I...” Jim starts, but he can’t seem to find words to say. He glances at Brian as if he can’t figure out whether he should be mad or grateful.

Pam waves her hand. “It was a while ago, Jim. It was a weak moment, I was stressed out... it’s not a big deal.” Her voice is carefree, but her expression is grim. 

Brian clears his throat. “Ah, sorry... I didn’t mean to--”

“You didn’t,” Pam says quickly, giving Brian a look, but this just gets Jim more upset. He sits back and crosses his arms, looking miserable.

“Um, let’s talk about something more fun,” Brian says. “How is everyone at the office?”

“Andy’s coming back tomorrow,” Pam says quickly. “Everyone’s dreading it, even Erin. Our sales numbers have been up for this quarter.”

She continues to fill him in on everyone in the office as Jim silently eats his food. She even relays a message from Dwight.

“He said to thank you, for defending me,” Pam says, clearly a little confused. “He said he should have been there, because he was my willing accomplice, but he’s glad you, um, ‘proved yourself to be a man of true worth.’” 

Brian’s touched. That’s high praise from Dwight.

“I didn’t know you and Dwight were close,” Jim says, breaking his long silence. He’s looking at Brian differently now, like a competitor instead of a wallflower. 

“I’ve always liked Dwight,” Brian says mildly, and Pam glows. 

When lunch is over, they head out into the parking lot together. Jim checks his phone reflexively while Pam tells Brian to keep in touch. “We’re really gonna miss you,” she says sincerely. 

Jim shakes his hand, but it’s with none of the friendliness from before. Brian suspects he’s angry with himself, but he can’t be sure. Pam gives her husband a nervous look before waving to Brian. 

Who knows. Perhaps they’ll talk about this stuff and have a proper fight. Maybe their marriage will benefit from Brian’s failed one. 

\---

He gets an apartment in Dickson City, a cozy two-bedroom with vaulted ceilings. 

After about three weeks of interviews and freelance work, Brian lands a job at a local production company, where they make commercials for Scranton-based businesses. It’s easy work, the pay is adequate, and it’s nice to meet new people after nine years of seeing the same faces every day. 

His divorce with Alissa is finalized rather quickly, since they both agree to each other’s terms. She wishes him good luck as they sign the papers, and he tells her, one last time, how very sorry he is for everything that happened. 

Occasionally, he runs into people from Dunder Mifflin. He sees Erin at the mall, where she’s buying a men’s shirt and having it gift-wrapped. “It’s for Pete,” she tells him giddily, and Brian’s genuinely happy for her.

Meredith is buying cigarettes and pizza rolls at the grocery store when she spots Brian in the checkout line. “Hey boom guy! Still too afraid to boom this?” she bellows as Brian, beet red, pays for his food. 

He sees Creed at the post office, again. It’s the fourth time in nine years that he’s spotted Creed there, and each time, Creed’s pretended not to notice when Brian greets him. 

He never sees Jim or Pam. He’s desperate to find out what’s going on with them, but too afraid to call or text her. He doesn’t know how to carry on a friendship with her outside of the formality of work. 

In late April, he’s watching a show on NBC when he sees an ad for a workplace documentary. “Coming in May!” it says, accompanied with a very familiar logo. 

\---

It airs over two nights. 

The first night, Brian watches as the life he lived unfolds on the screen. Jim and Pam are friends who fall in love, Michael Scott is their bumbling boss with a heart of gold, Dwight is insane, and they’re surrounded by an eclectic bunch of average people. 

It’s odd, when Jim and Pam kiss on casino night, to remember that Brian was there for all of that. It’s strange to think that if Brian had just done one thing differently, maybe none of this would’ve happened. Maybe he and Pam would be watching this documentary together. 

When she fails out of art school, Brian remembers sitting with her, telling her about his dad, assuring her that everything would be okay. 

The first part ends when the Michael Scott Paper Company is bought back by Dunder Mifflin. The preview for the following night promises twists no one would expect. 

Brian sits by his phone all night, waiting for a text from Pam that never comes. 

\---

The next night, he’s prepared with a six-pack of beer. 

Jim and Pam get married and have a baby, and Michael reconnects with Holly. Brian tears up when Michael proposes, and cries when Pam hugs Michael at the airport. 

Finally, Jim creates his company and works part-time in Philly, and that’s when Brian starts getting nervous. 

Sure enough, with only twenty minutes left on the documentary, Pam breaks down in tears and Brian interrupts filming. 

His phone starts lighting up with texts, but none of them are from Pam. 

He watches as Jim tries to find a suitable candidate to sit at his desk while Pam is gone. They show Jim talking to the camera about it, _“No, it does matter who ends up sitting next to Pam while I’m gone. The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with.”_

They cut to a shot of Pam smiling at Clark, but then the shot pans up to Brian, who is holding up the boom mic and watching her. Mortified, Brian watches as his TV-self smiles down at Pam, clearly smitten. Meanwhile, Jim’s continuing, _“I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all of those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love.”_

Oh, God. 

His combat skills with Frank are pretty impressive. Brian never truly appreciated how big Frank was until now, as he watches himself smash the boom pole into his face. 

They show the footage Greg had captured, of Brian telling Pam to call him anytime she needs him. He puts his face in his hands, humiliated. He always knew Pam was bound to find out his true feelings when the footage aired, but it doesn’t make this process any easier.

They cut out most of Brian’s Valentine’s lunch with Jim and Pam; what remains is painfully awkward.

His phone is buzzing every ten seconds from texts and phone calls, but still, none of them are from Pam. 

Brian doesn’t really pay attention to the conclusion of the documentary. Pam and Jim do a joint talking head where they talk about splitting time between Philly and Scranton. Pete and Erin are happy together, talking about their upcoming trip to Cabo. Angela finally left the Senator, and Dwight has plans to make her an honest woman. The documentary ends, and the credits roll. 

The texts slow down, then stop. He watches his phone for Pam’s name to appear, but it never does. 

\---

Chloe calls him four times the next day, but he ignores it. Alissa calls him, too, and he answers that. They chat for a few minutes, catching up--she’s dating a guy she met at one of her endless mixers--but when the conversation is over, Brian goes back to waiting. 

He waits all day, but he doesn’t know what he expects.

\---

That evening, he decides to go to Won Ton King. He hasn’t been there in almost four years, and sometimes he wonders if the food was better in his mind than it is in real life. He remembers coming here with Pam all those years ago, talking about her job and her parents. He remembers hoping she would find her happy ending with Jim, even as he was sitting there falling in love with her. 

When he walks in, his eyes automatically go to the table they’d shared. He half expects to see Pam sitting there, but it’s occupied by three older women. Shaking his head, Brian walks up to the counter and places his order. 

“Nine seventy-nine,” the cashier says cheerfully. He hands over a ten, and drops the change into the tip jar before turning around.

That’s when his eyes land on Pam. She’s sitting at an empty table on the other side of the restaurant, her eyes wide as she watches him. She’s been here the whole time, he knows because the door hasn’t opened since he got here. Why didn’t she say anything?

She doesn’t smile as he approaches her. She’s not bubbly or happy, she’s thunderstruck and stunned into silence. 

“Hey,” he says softly. He doesn’t bother to hide his feelings anymore; he loves her, and he lets it show on his face. He stares down at her, feeling peaceful and happy for the first time in a long time, because he’s no longer living that lie. 

She gives him a small smile. “Hi.” 

He sits down across from her, putting his hands on the table. He’s afraid to take his eyes off of her, afraid she’ll disappear if he looks away.

She leans forward slightly, her eyes soft with unshed tears as she looks at him. 

“We need to talk.”


End file.
